Ingabe ulindele amawele? Noma ucabanga ngakho? Amawele ayisibusiso esiphindwe kabili esiza ekhaya lakho ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kodwa ingabe sikhuluma ngempela ngezinselele nobunzima obuhambisana naleyo njabulo? Namuhla sizokhuluma ngendaba kamama ogama lakhe linguMaureen owabhekana nesimo esinjalo. Ngendaba yakhe, sizozama ukuqonda ukuthi impilo injani ngempela ngamawele .
Indaba kaMaureen: Amawele ngemva kwe-IVF
UMaureen Downey nomyeni wakhe uBo Emerson base benabantwana ababili. Babecabanga ukuthola umntwana wesithathu, kodwa uMaureen waphuphuma izisu kaningana. Ngakho banquma ukuphendukela ekwelashweni okusha kokuzala, i-IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization), ukuze babe nomntwana.
UMaureen wayeneminyaka engu-42 ngaleso sikhathi. Odokotela bafaka ama-embryo amabili esibelethweni sakhe. Babengafuni ngempela amawele, kodwa babecabanga ukuthi kungaba kuhle uma bewafuna. "Kumuntu ongakaze abe nabantwana ngaphambili, kuyaqondakala ukuthi angafuna amawele ngoba kungaba yithuba lakhe kuphela," kusho uMaureen. "Kodwa besifuna ingane yesithathu kuphela. Ngakho bengingacabangi ukuthi ngifuna amawele. Kodwa benginethemba lokuthi womabili ama-embryo azolunga."
Ingabe ukukhulelwa ngamawele kuhlukile kunalokho obekulindelwe?
UMaureen uthi ukukhulelwa kwakhe kuhambe kahle, ngaphandle kwezinkinga ezinkulu. Lokho kusho ukuthi kwakungadingeki ahlale embhedeni. Kodwa-ke, kwadingeka ayeke umsebenzi wakhe kusenesikhathi kakhulu kunangesikhathi sokukhulelwa kwakhe okubili kwangaphambilini. Kwadingeka futhi abhekane nezinto eziningi ezintsha ayengakaze abhekane nazo ngaphambili.
"Nganginesilungulela esibuhlungu engangingakaze ngisibone ngaphambili. Ngesikhathi sokuqala kwenzeka lokhu, ngangicabanga ukuthi ngihlaselwa yinhliziyo. Kwakukubi kakhulu. Nganginezinhlungu eziningi emzimbeni wami. Uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, inyanga nengxenye yokugcina yokukhulelwa yayikhathaza kakhulu futhi ikhathaza. Angizange ngizizwe kanje lapho ngithola izingane zami zokuqala ezimbili."
Ngokuvamile, uma unezingane ezimbili, isibeletho siyakhula, sicindezele kakhulu izitho zangasese. Lokhu kungabangela ubuhlungu besifuba, ubunzima bokuphefumula, kanye nobuhlungu bomzimba. Uma ubhekene nalezi zimpawu, kungcono ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho ngakho.
Kwenzekani ngemva kokuzalwa kwabantwana?
Emasontweni angu-39, okusondela esikhathini esiphelele, uMaureen wayehlele ukuhlinzwa kokubeletha.URebecca noJoey bazalwa ngokuhlinzwa okuhleliwe. Nakuba konke kwakubonakala kuhamba kahle, uMaureen wabhekana nezinkinga eziningi kunalokho ayekulindele ngemva kokubeletha.
Isibeletho sakhe sasinganciphi kahle, ngakho waqala ukopha kakhulu. Lesi simo sibizwa ngokuthi i-Postpartum Hemorrhage .
"Izinto ngemva kokuzalwa kwezingane zaziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalokho ebengikulindele. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngilahlekelwe cishe ingxenye yesithathu yegazi emzimbeni wami. Ngaya ekhaya ngibuthakathaka kakhulu ukuba ngingahamba, futhi nginesifo sokuntuleka kwegazi kakhulu."
Lolu hlobo lokopha kakhulu luyisimo esiphuthumayo sezokwelapha. ESri Lanka, ezimweni ezinjalo, isiguli singeniswa ngokushesha e-Emergency Treatment Unit (ETU) futhi sinikezwe ukwelashwa okudingekayo.
UMaureen uthi kwamthatha unyaka wonke ukuthi aphinde athole amandla nempilo yakhe, okukunikeza umbono wokuthi wayebuthakathaka kangakanani.
Unyaka wokuqala: isikhathi esinzima kunalokho obekulindelwe
UMaureen uthi akayena umuntu osafufusa ekukhuliseni izingane. Njengoba ekhulise izingane ezimbili ngaphambili, wayeselungiselele konke ngaphambi kokuletha amawele ekhaya. Igumbi lomntwana, izingubo, nezinye izinto ezidingekayo konke kwakuhlelekile.
"Ngobusuku bokuqala sibuya esibhedlela, sasicabanga ukuthi sinazo zonke izinto esasizidinga. Izingubo ezihlanzekile zazihlelwe kahle emadroweni. Kodwa ngalobo busuku bokuqala, izingane zazimanzi kakhulu futhi zihlanza kaningi kangangokuthi kwadingeka sidabule amathegi ezingutsheni ezintsha emabhokisini bese sizigqoka. Sasingakulungele nhlobo lokho."
Kwakuyisimanga esikhulu kuMaureen. Uthi, "Kwadingeka nginyuse izinga lami kakhulu maqondana nokuthi lo msebenzi wawunzima kangakanani."
"Lowo nyaka wokuqala ufana nephupho engikukhumbulayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwakungekho muntu ongangisiza. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwaba ukushaqeka okukhulu emzimbeni wami, owawulahlekelwe igazi eliningi futhi ubuthakathaka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kwakukhathaza kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi, njengoba sasincelisa sobabili."
| Ithuba lokuzwa | Okuhlangenwe nakho kukaMaureen (ngamawele) |
|---|---|
| Isikhathi sokukhulelwa | Ubuhlungu besifuba obungakaze bubonwe kanye nobuhlungu bomzimba. Kukhathaza kakhulu kunokukhulelwa okukodwa. |
| Ngemva kokubeletha | Ukulahlekelwa yingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu yegazi lomzimba ngenxa yokopha ngokweqile (ukopha kakhulu) kanye nokuntuleka kwegazi okukhulu. |
| Isikhathi esithathiwe ukuze umzimba ululame | Kwathatha unyaka wonke ukuthola amandla kabusha. |
| Okuhlangenwe nakho konyaka wokuqala | Kungumsebenzi ophindwe kabili kunalokho ocabanga. Yisikhathi esikhathazayo ngokuphelele lapho kungekho ubuthongo, kungekho muntu ongasiza, futhi kungekho muntu ongaphendukela kuye. |
Ingabe impilo enamawele ifana 'nesekisi'?
UMaureen uthi uthanda indawo enomsindo nengenakuthula.
"Uma ucabanga ukuthi umndeni wakho ukhonzwa kangcono yingane eyodwa kuphela, amawele angaba ushintsho olukhulu kuwe. Afana 'nesikisi sabo esincane' ."
"Banomsindo omkhulu. Konke kuyinkimbinkimbi. Ikakhulukazi uma izingane zisencane, kunzima kakhulu ukuya esitolo, ukubeka ezimbili ezihlalweni zemoto, ukuze sihlale sobabili emotweni. Mina nomyeni wami sesijwayele kancane umsindo. Kodwa lapho umngane onomntwana oyedwa kuphela efika endlini yami, ngibabonile begxuma. Ngicabanga ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi sinezingane ezine ekhaya. Kodwa umsindo omningi uvela kumawele."
Indaba kaMaureen isibonisa ukuthi amawele ayisibusiso kanye nenselele evivinya ukubekezela kwabazali, amandla kanye nokusekelana ngokugcwele.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Uma ukhulelwe amawele, ukukhulelwa kungaba nzima kakhulu ngokomzimba kunokuba ubulindele umntwana oyedwa. Zilungiselele lokho ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba.
- Kukhona ingozi yezinkinga ezifana nokopha ngokweqile ngemva kokubeletha. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukulandela imiyalelo yezokwelapha ngqo nokwazisa udokotela nganoma yiziphi izimpawu ezingavamile.
- Unyaka wokuqala wokukhulisa amawele ungaba nzima kakhulu kunalokho ocabanga. Uma kungenzeka, kuzoba usizo olukhulu ukuthola ukwesekwa ngumndeni noma othile ozokusiza.
- Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nisekelane, nibekezele, futhi niqondane phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Lokhu kufana nomdlalo weqembu.
- Okuhlangenwe nakho ngakunye kuhlukile. Okuhlangenwe nakho kukaMaureen kuyindlela eyodwa. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kungaba ngenye indlela. Kodwa kufanelekile ukuqaphela lezo zinselele kusenesikhathi.
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