Uyamkhumbula umuntu osekhulile kulawo mafilimu namadrama owashiya umsebenzi wakhe ngokuzumayo, wathenga imoto yezemidlalo entsha sha, waqala ukuba nezinkinga nomndeni wakhe, waguqula impilo yakhe yaba yimbi? Yebo, yilokho iningi lethu elikucabangayo lapho sizwa igama elithi "inkinga yempilo ephakathi." Kodwa ingabe lokhu kuyinto yokuhlekisa ngempela? Yilokhu esikhuluma ngakho namuhla. Eqinisweni, njengodokotela, manje sikhetha ukukubiza ngokuthi "ushintsho lwempilo ephakathi" kunokuba "inkinga." Ngoba lesi sikhathi asibathinti bonke ngendlela embi. Kwabanye, lesi kungaba isikhathi esihle kakhulu sokuthuthukisa izinto eziningi empilweni. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuvimbela lesi sikhathi soshintsho ukuba singabi ukucindezeleka okukhulu futhi sifune usizo uma kudingeka.
Iyini le nkinga yeminyaka yobudala?
Nakuba igama elithi "inkinga yempilo ephakathi" belilokhu likhona kusukela ngawo-1980, alikaze libe yisifo sengqondo esaziwa ngokusemthethweni . Kalula nje, liyigama elijwayelekile lochungechunge lwezinguquko zengqondo nezokuziphatha ezenzeka phakathi nokuphila.
Ngakho-ke linini leli "minyaka ephakathi"? Liyahlukahluka kumuntu nomuntu. Ngokuvamile livela phakathi kweminyaka engama-37 nengama-50. Lesi simo asiveli ngokuzumayo. Sivame ukwenzeka ngezenzakalo ezinkulu zokuphila. Cabanga ngezinto ezinjengalezi,
- Ingane yokugcina endlini iya eyunivesithi noma iyashada.
- Ukugubha usuku lokuzalwa olukhulu njengosuku lwama-40 noma lwama-50.
- Ukushona kwabazali babo.
- Ushintsho olukhulu emsebenzini noma ukusondela emhlalaphansi.
Ngezinto ezinjengalezi, abantu bayalingeka ukuba babheke emuva ezimpilweni zabo babuze imibuzo efana nokuthi, "Ngikwenzeni kuze kube manje?" nokuthi "Ngiyajabula yini ngempilo yami?"
Ingabe lokhu kuyafana kwabesilisa nabesifazane?
Cha. Nakuba bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bengabhekana nalolu shintsho lweminyaka ephakathi, indlela oluzibonakalisa ngayo ihluke kakhulu.
Ngokuphathelene namadoda:
Indaba ethi "thenga imoto yezemidlalo ebomvu" esikhulume ngayo ekuqaleni iyisibonelo senkolelo-mbono ehlobene nabesilisa. Nakuba kungebona bonke abantu abanjalo, amadoda kulezi zinsuku acabanga kakhulu ngempumelelo yawo, ikakhulukazi impumelelo emsebenzini. Angase acabange ngezinto ezinjengokuthi, "Angifikanga lapho ngangifuna ukuba khona?" noma "Ngimi kuphi uma ngiqhathaniswa nabanye?" futhi angase azame kanzima ukuzibonakalisa nokukhombisa umhlaba ukuthi ayaphumelela.
Ngokuphathelene nabesifazane:
Abesifazane, noma ngabe bayasebenza, bavame ukulinganisa ukubaluleka kwabo ngobudlelwano bomndeni. Okusho ukuthi, "Ingabe ngingumfazi omuhle?", "Ingabe ngingumama omuhle?" Lapho izingane zabo zikhula futhi zishiya ikhaya, zingase zizwe sengathi indima yazo eyinhloko isiphelile, futhi zingase zizwe sengathi, "Ngingubani manje?" "Ingabe sengilahlekelwe ubuwena bami?"
Ingabe lesi yisigaba esivamile ngempela empilweni?
Yebo. Izazi eziningi zengqondo manje zibona lokhu njengesigaba esivamile sokukhula empilweni. Njengobuntwana kanye nokuthomba, iminyaka ephakathi nendawo imane nje ingenye isigaba sonke esidlula kuso. Yisikhathi lapho siqala ukucabanga kabusha ngezinto eziza kuqala kanye nemigomo yethu empilweni.
Uma ungakuboni lokhu njengenkinga, kodwa njengethuba elihle kakhulu lokuqala i-inning yesibili yempilo yakho, lokho kuyinto efanele ukuyenza.
Kuningi okuhle okungenzeka phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Cabanga nje,
- Ngemva kokuba imithwalo yemfanelo yokukhulisa izingane isiphelile, abesifazane bashukumiseleka ukuphishekela iziqu noma ukuqala ibhizinisi elisha ababeliphupha kusukela ebuntwaneni kodwa ababengakwazi ukulenza.
- Amadoda, esikhundleni sokuvalelwa emsebenzini, aqala ukusiza ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, aqale ukulima ingadi, aphishekele ubuciko, futhi achithe isikhathi esiningi nezingane zawo.
- Abesifazane baqala ukwenza izinto ukuze bajabule, becabanga ukuthi, "Bengilokhu ngenza umsebenzi wami kuwo wonke umuntu, manje sengidinga ukucabanga ngami futhi." Isibonelo, bangase benqabe ukunakekela abazukulu babo ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi esikhundleni salokho bathathe uhambo nabangani babo.
Wazi kanjani ukuthi lokhu sekuphenduka ukucindezeleka?
Lena yinto ebaluleke kakhulu okudingeka sonke siyiqaphele. Nakuba ukuguquka kwempilo ephakathi kuyinto evamile, ngezinye izikhathi kungaba ukucindezeleka okukhulu (Ukucindezeleka Okukhulu) . Bheka ukuthi wena noma othile oseduze nawe unezimpawu ezilandelayo.
| Isici | Incazelo |
|---|---|
| Izinguquko ekudleni | Ukulahlekelwa yisifiso sokudla ngokuzumayo noma ukudla ngokweqile. |
| Izinguquko zokulala | Ukungalali noma ukulala ngokweqile, ukuzizwa ukhathele ngaso sonke isikhathi. |
| Imizwa yokukhungatheka nokuphelelwa yithemba | Ukuzizwa ungenathemba ngokuphila, imicabango yokuphelelwa yithemba. |
| Ukungahlaliseki nentukuthelo | Ukungahlaliseki ngaphandle kwesizathu, intukuthelo ephindaphindayo. |
| Imizwa yokungabi namsebenzi kanye necala | Ukucabanga ukuthi umuntu akanamsebenzi futhi akanalutho. |
| Ukuntuleka kwenjabulo ezintweni ezazijabulisa ngaphambili | Ukuntuleka kwenjabulo kunoma yini, okuhlanganisa nezinto ozithandayo ebengizijabulela ngaphambilini kanye nempilo yocansi. |
| Ubuhlungu bomzimba | Izimpawu zomzimba ezifana nekhanda elibuhlungu kanye nobuhlungu besisu obungapheli naphezu kokuthatha imithi. |
| Ukucabanga ngokuqeda impilo yakho | Lesi yisimo esiyingozi kakhulu nesiphuthumayo. Ukucabanga noma ukuzama ukuqeda impilo yakho. |
Uma wena noma othile omaziyo enesinye salezi zimpawu noma ngaphezulu, sicela ungasinaki. Ngokuqinisekile bonana nodokotela.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma ucindezelekile?
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ukucindezeleka kuyisimo esingelapheka futhi esingelapheka ngokuphelele . Kunezindlela ezimbili eziyinhloko zokwelapha lesi simo.
1. Ukwelashwa Ngengxoxo/Ukwelashwa Ngengqondo: Ukufunda ukulawula imizwa nemicabango yakho ngokukhuluma nomeluleki noma udokotela wezifo zengqondo oqeqeshiwe kuyindlela ephumelela kakhulu.
2. Imithi Yokulwa Nokucindezeleka: Imithi elinganisela umsebenzi wama-neurotransmitter ebuchosheni. Le mithi kufanele ithathwe kuphela ngokunconywa udokotela .
Izifundo eziningi zithole ukuthi umuntu onesifo sokucindezeleka okukhulu angalulama ngokushesha nangokuphelele ngokusebenzisa zombili lezi zindlela zokwelapha ndawonye. Kodwa lokho kuncike kudokotela ohlola isimo sakho.
Ngakho-ke, uma unokungabaza okuncane ngalokhu, ungabi namahloni noma wesabe.Khuluma nodokotela womndeni wakho noma udokotela wezifo zengqondo. Yilolo usizo olukhulu kakhulu ongalunikeza wena.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukushintsha kwempilo yaphakathi kuyingxenye evamile yokuphila. Akudingeki kube yinkinga.
- Indlela lesi sikhathi esithinta ngayo abesifazane nabesilisa ingahluka.
- Ungakuboni lokhu njengokudumazeka, kodwa kunalokho njengethuba elihle lokuqala isahluko esisha empilweni yakho nokufunda izinto ezintsha.
- Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuqaphela uma lokhu kukhula kube ukucindezeleka.
- Uma ubhekene nezimpawu zokucindezeleka, njengokukhungatheka okukhulu, ukuqwasha, kanye nokudinwa yimpilo, ungachithi isikhathi futhi ufune iseluleko sezokwelapha ngokushesha.
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