Ingabe wesaba kakhulu ukuthandana? Ake sixoxe nge-Philophobia!

Uthando luyinto enhle, akunjalo? Kodwa kwabanye abantu, umcabango wokuthandana noma ukuqala ubudlelwano ungaba yinto eyesabekayo necindezelayo kakhulu. Wake wazizwa ngaleyo ndlela? Uma kunjalo, lokhu kungaba nguwe. Lesi simo sibizwa ngokuthi i-philophobia.

Kuyini i-Philophobia?

Kalula nje, i-Philophobia ukwesaba uthando ngokweqile nokungavamile. Akuyona nje into elula ethi, 'O, angiluthandi uthando.' Kuwukwesaba okujulile kakhulu nokunamandla kakhulu. Lokhu kwesaba kwenza kube nzima kakhulu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kungenzeki, kwabanye abantu ukwakha nokugcina ubudlelwano bothando. Igama elithi "Philos" igama lesiGreki elisho othandekayo. Igama elithi "Phobos" lisho ukwesaba. Ngakho-ke lapho lokhu kokubili kuhlangana, kuvela incazelo 'yokwesaba uthando'.

Cabanga, iNdlovukazi yokuqala yaseNgilandi emlandweni, u-Elizabeth, ayizange ishade, futhi wayaziwa ngokuthi 'iNdlovukazi Eyintombi.' Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi naye wayenalesi simo sokungathandi ucansi.

Ngakho-ke kuyini i-phobia?

Manje ungase uzibuze, 'Kuyini lokhu kwesaba?' I-phobia ukwesaba izinto ngokweqile, okungavamile okungenzeka ukuthi ngeke kusibangele umonakalo wangempela. Empeleni lezi yizinkinga zokukhathazeka . I-Philophobia isifo esithile se-phobia . Okusho ukuthi, wesaba into ethile, umcabango wokuthandana ngalesi sikhathi, noma isimo esifana naleso.

Ivame kangakanani i-philophobia?

Kunzima ukusho ngqo ukuthi bangaki abantu abane-philophobia. Abantu abaningi bagcina ukwesaba kwabo kubo noma abaqapheli nokuthi banako. Kodwa siyazi ukuthi cishe umuntu omdala oyedwa kwabayi-10 kanye no-1 kwabayi-5 abasebasha e-United States bazobhekana nokwesaba okuthile ngesikhathi esithile empilweni yabo. Ngakho-ke i-philophobia ingaba enye yazo.

Ubani osengozini enkulu yokuthola i-philophobia?

Ngokuvamile kuthiwa abesifazane banamathuba amaningi okuthuthukisa lezi zinhlobo zokwesaba. Kukhona nezinye izici eziningana eziyingozi:

• Umlando womndeni: Uma uke wabona abazali bakho noma umuntu oseduze nawe ehlushwa yisifo sokwesaba noma sokukhathazeka, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi nawe ube nokwesaba okufanayo. Njengoba nje umama esaba izicabucabu, nengane yakhe kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi yesabe izicabucabu.
• Ithonya lezakhi zofuzo: Ucwaningo oluthile lubonisa ukuthi abanye abantu banezakhi zofuzo ezibenza babe sengozini enkulu yokuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka kanye nokwesaba.
• Ukuba nezinye izimo zokwesaba: Kuvamile ukuba nezinhlobo ezingaphezu kweyodwa zokwesaba. Umuntu owesaba uthando angase abe nokwesaba ukuzibophezela (lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi i-gamophobia) , ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa, noma ukwesaba ukushiywa.

Kungani ngisaba kangaka uthando?

Cabanga ngakho, kungani umuntu engase esabe into enhle njengothando? Ngokuvamile, uma ubheka izimpande zalokhu kwesaba, kungalandelelwa emuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ebuntwaneni . I-Philophobia ifana nempendulo yokuvikela . Uma ungazivumeli ukuthanda umuntu, ingqondo yakho engaphansi kwengqondo ingase icabange ukuthi uzisindisa ekulimaleni nasebuhlungwini.

Nazi ezinye zezimbangela ze-philophobia:

• Ubudlelwano obubi bangaphambilini: Cabanga ngengane ebukele abazali bayo belwa noma behlukanisa iseyingane. Noma umzali owashona, walahlwa, noma wahlukunyezwa eseyingane... Kungaba nzima kakhulu ngengane eye yabhekana nalezi zinto ukuthanda abanye. Kunjalo nangabantu abadala. Uma ubuhlobo bangaphambilini babuwukungathembeki, isehlukaniso, ukuhlukunyezwa, noma ukulahlwa, akumangazi ukuthi bayesaba ukuthanda futhi. Cabanga, uNimali walimala kakhulu yisoka lakhe lokuqala. Ngemva kwalokho, uzizwa ekhathazekile futhi esaba lapho ecabanga ngokuqala kabusha ubuhlobo.

• Ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa noma ukulahlwa: Uma omunye wabazali bakho ekulahla usengumntwana, lokho kungaba yisizathu sokwesaba kwakho uthando. Uma uhlala wenqatshwa ngabangane nabalingani bakho njengoba usukhulile, ungase wesabe uthando. Ungase uzizwe sengathi 'othile uzongishiya noma kunjalo.'

• Izingcindezi zamasiko noma zenkolo: Amanye amasiko awacabangi kakhulu ngothando, futhi imishado yokuhlela iyahlelwa. Ungase wesabe ukuthandana ngoba uzizwa ungenalo ilungelo lokukhetha umlingani wakho. Futhi, uma ungumuntu we-LGBTQ+, ungase wesabe ukuthandana uma inkolo noma isiko lakho liphikisana nobuhlobo. Ngenxa yokwesaba ukuxoshwa ngumphakathi nokwenqatshwa ngumndeni wakho.

• Isifo Sokuzibandakanya Komphakathi Esingenazithiyo (i-DSED): Ingane engatholi ukunakwa, uthando, nokwaziswa ekudingayo kubazali bayo noma kwabanye abantu abadala abathembekile njengengane ingase yesabe uthando njengoba ikhula. Izingane ezinjalo zingase zibe nobuhlobo obuhle nabantu ezingabazi kunalabo ezibathandayo. I-DSED uhlobo lwe -Reactive Attachment Disorder .

Ziyini izimpawu ze-philophobia?

Lokhu kungathinta abantu abesaba uthando ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ungase ubhekane nalokhu okulandelayo:

• Ubuhlobo obuseduze nobokusondelana buba yinto engenakwenzeka.
• Uma usebudlelwaneni , uzizwa ukhathazekile kakhulu , futhi uhlala ukhathazekile ngokuthi ubuhlobo buzophela.
• Uzizwa wesaba umlingani wakho noma imizwa yakhe .
• Zisusa abantu noma ziqede ubudlelwano ngokuzumayo.

Uma unemizwa yothando, ungase ube nezimpawu zomzimba ezifana nalezi:

• Isiyezi
• Umlomo owomile
• Ukuzwa ukwesaba okukhulu noma ukwesaba
• Isicanucanu, ukuhlanza, noma isifo sohudo
• Ukujuluka okukhulu
• Ukuphefumula okusheshayo kanye nokushaya kwenhliziyo
• Ukuthuthumela noma ukuthuthumela
• Ukuphelelwa umoya

Ungayibona kanjani i-philophobia?

Ngakho-ke, odokotela bayixilonga kanjani i-philophobia? I-American Psychiatric Association inesiqondiso esibizwa ngokuthi i-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo njengososayensi bezengqondo bayisebenzisela ukuxilonga ama-phobia ngokusekelwe ezimpawu kanye nendlela ezithinta ngayo impilo yakho.

Odokotela basebenzisa lezi zindlela zokuxilonga ukwesaba okuthile njenge-philophobia:

• Ukwesaba uthando okungapheli okuhlala okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha .
• Ukwesaba okukhulu noma ukukhathazeka okuvela lapho uzizwa uthandana.
• Izimpawu ze-phobia ziyavela uma ubhekene nomuntu omthandayo.
• Gwema ukunikeza noma ukuthola uthando ngoba ukukhathazeka noma ukwesaba kuyakushukumisa.
• Izimpawu ezinzima eziphazamisa ikhono lokwakha ubudlelwano obunenjongo nobuseduze.

Iphathwa kanjani i-philophobia?

Ngakho-ke akukho ukwelashwa kwalokhu? Kunjalo impela. Ukwelashwa okubizwa ngokuthi i-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) kungakusiza ukunqoba i-philophobia. Lolu uhlobo lwe-psychotherapy. Kalula nje, kuyindlela yokukhuluma. Kukusiza ukuthi ubone imicabango kanye nokuziphatha okukwenza wesabe uthando.

Ungase futhi uzuze ohlotsheni lokwelashwa ngokuchayeka olubizwa ngokuthi i-Systemic Desensitization Therapy . Kuthiwa ukwelashwa ngokuchayeka kusiza abantu abangaphezu kuka-90% abanezinkinga ezithile zokwesaba.

Nansi indlela esebenza ngayo:

• Uzofundiswa ukuphatha izimpawu zakho usebenzisa amasu okuphumula njengokuzivocavoca okujulile nokuzindla.
• Kancane kancane uzwakalisa umqondo wothando . Okokuqala ucabanga ngakho, bese ukhuluma ngakho, bese wenziwa ubhekane nezimo ezincane.
• Inikeza imisebenzi ewusizo ezokusiza ukuthi ujwayele ukupha nokwamukela uthando.

Yiziphi izinkinga ezingaba khona ngenxa ye-philophobia?

Kwenzekani uma singayeka lokhu kwesaba uthando? Impilo engenalo uthando ingathinta impilo yakho engokomzimba nengokwengqondo. Ngenxa yalokho, ungase uvezwe ezimweni ezinjengalezi:

• Ukukhathazeka, Ukucindezeleka, noma Isifo Sokwethuka.
• Kwabesilisa, lokhu kungukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile.
• Isifo Sokucindezeleka Ngemva Kokuhlukumezeka (PTSD).
• Inkinga Yokusetshenziswa Kwezidakamizwa.

Kufanele ubonane nini nodokotela?

Kufanele nakanjani ubone udokotela uma unezinye zalezi ezilandelayo:

• Ukuhlaselwa kovalo kuyeza.
• Uma ukhathazekile njalo okuphazamisa impilo yansuku zonke noma ubuthongo.
• Uma unezimpawu zokucindezeleka noma izinkinga zokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa .

Yini okufanele ngiyibuze udokotela wami?

Uma ubona udokotela, ungabuza imibuzo efana nale:

• Kungani nginalolu valo?
• Yikuphi ukwelashwa okungcono kakhulu kimi?
• Ingabe kufanele ngizame ukwelashwa kwengqondo?
• Ngizodinga ukwelashwa isikhathi esingakanani?
• Ingabe imithi ingasiza?

Ekugcineni, khumbula...

Kungokwemvelo ngathi sonke ukuzama ukuzivikela ekulimaleni nasebuhlungwini. Kodwa uma ukwesaba kwakho uthando kukubangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo, noma kuthinta ikhono lakho lokwakha ubudlelwano, yilapho inkinga iqala khona.

Ukupha nokwamukela uthando kufanele kube yinto eletha injabulo.

Uma wesaba uthando ngenxa ye-philophobia, umhlaba wakho ungazizwa unesizungu. Kodwa khumbula, ungafunda ukubhekana nalokhu kwesaba ngezinto ezifana ne -CBT kanye nokwelashwa kokunciphisa imizwa . Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzokwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obuseduze nobunothando nomlingani wakho, umndeni, nabangani. Ungahlupheki wedwa, cela usizo. Awuwedwa.

I- Philophobia, ukwesaba uthando, i-phobia, ukukhathazeka, impilo yengqondo, ukwelashwa, ubudlelwano