Uma uya kudokotela, ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa sengathi akakuzwanga ngempela lokho okushoyo? Noma wake waya ekhaya ucabanga ukuthi, "O, ngikhohliwe ukubuza," kodwa ungakwazi ukuphendula imibuzo yakho? Lokhu kuyiqiniso kubantu abaningi. Uma sesaba ukugula futhi sisezinhlungwini, kunzima ukusho ngqo ukuthi sifunani. Kodwa le ngxoxo phakathi kukadokotela nesiguli, okungukuthi, ukuxhumana, ibaluleke kakhulu kunalokho ocabanga ukuthi ungakwenza ukuze ululame. Namuhla, sizoxoxa ngalokhu.
Kungani kubaluleke kangaka ukukhuluma nodokotela?
Kalula nje, udokotela ukwelapha ngokulalela lokho okushoyo. Udokotela udinga ulwazi oluningi ukuze athole ukuthi yiziphi izimpawu zakho, ukuthi sezinesikhathi esingakanani zikhona, ukuthi ziya ziba zimbi yini ngemva kokudla okuthile, yiziphi ezinye izifo onazo, nokuthi yimiphi imithi oyithathayo. Uma ungamtsheli udokotela lezi zinto ngendlela efanele, kungaba nzima ngodokotela ukuthola lesi sifo. Futhi, uma ungaqondi ukuthi udokotela uthini, ungase ungakwazi ukuphuza imithi yakho noma ukulawula ukudla kwakho ngendlela efanele. Yingakho ukuxhumana kwabantu ababili kubaluleke kangaka.
Khumbula, uma uya kudokotela, awusona nje isiguli. Uyingxenye ebalulekile yendaba. Imiphumela emihle kakhulu ayinakutholakala ngaphandle kokubamba kwakho iqhaza.
Ngisho nodokotela angenza izinqumo ezimbi - indaba eyiqiniso
Le ndaba imayelana nodokotela odumile emhlabeni wonke, uSolwazi uJerome Groopman. Wayengumdlali okhuthele ebusheni bakhe. Ngolunye usuku wayenenkinga yomhlane. Odokotela bayibiza ngokuthi "idiski ephukile", okusho ukuthi ingxenye ethambile phakathi kwamathambo omgogodla isiphumile.
Odokotela abaningi bamtshela ukuthi angasheshi ukuhlinzwa, aphumule, futhi enze izinto ezifana nokwelashwa ngokomzimba . Kodwa lo dokotela osemusha wayefuna ukululama ngokushesha futhi abuyele ekugijimeni. Ngakho waya ukuyofuna udokotela owayezo "ngitshela engikufunayo." Udokotela wathi, "Kulungile, ake senze ukuhlinzwa , uzolulama maduze."
USolwazi uGroopman uthi, “Ngizisole ngaleso sinqumo iminyaka engu-21,” ngoba ngemva kwalokho kuhlinzwa wayengakwazi ukugijima njengoba ayevame ukwenza. “Ngangingesona isiguli esihle ngaleso sikhathi,” usho kanje. “Ngangibuhlungu, futhi nganginenkani. Ukube ngangilalele lokho okushiwo abanye odokotela, mhlawumbe impilo yami ngabe ihlukile namuhla.”
Yini esingayifunda kule ndaba?
- Ungalandeli izixazululo ezisheshayo:Ezinye izifo zithatha isikhathi ukuphulukiswa. Azikho izindlela zokwelapha ezimangalisayo ngobusuku obubodwa.
- Lalela lokho okushiwo udokotela: Lalela ngokucophelela, ikakhulukazi uma udokotela ekutshela ngezindlela ezahlukene zokwelapha.
- Lowo okutshela ngqo lokho okufunayo akayena ongcono ngaso sonke isikhathi: Ngezinye izikhathi udokotela ositshela iqiniso, ngisho noma singafuni ukulizwa, nguye osisizayo.
Uma izwi lakho lingezwakali, engeza omunye umuntu.
USolwazi Groupman ulandisa enye indaba ethinta inhliziyo kakhulu. Imayelana nendodana yakhe encane. Ngesikhathi ebuya ohambweni olude nomndeni wakhe, indodana yabo encane yagula ngokuzumayo. Ingane yaqhubeka nokuhlanza . Umkakhe (naye ongudokotela) wayesola kakhulu ukuthi lokhu kwakuyinto engathi sína.
Bayikhombisa udokotela, kodwa akanandaba kangako, ethi "kujwayelekile." Kodwa isimo sengane siba sibi kakhulu. Ekugcineni, bayiyisa eMnyangweni Wezimo Eziphuthumayo (ETU) wesibhedlela esikhulu. Udokotela osemusha lapho ukhathele.
UmkaMnu. Groupman, ngobunono nangokucacile, utshela udokotela yonke imininingwane, njengokuthi, "Kwenzekeni enganeni emahoreni angama-24 edlule, iphuze nini ubisi, ishintshe nini inabukeni layo?" Kodwa ngenkathi udokotela ehlola ingane, uyabuza futhi kusukela ekuqaleni, "Igcine nini ukuphuza ubisi? Igcine nini ukushintsha inabukeni layo?"
Ngaleso sikhathi, abazali baqaphela, “Lo dokotela akasilalelanga.” Baqaphela ukuthi impilo yendodana yabo isengozini. Bamgwema ngokushesha udokotela, bathola udokotela omkhulu, base bechaza isimo. Ukuhlolwa kwembula ukuthi ingane yayinokuvimbeka kwamathumbu. Ukube ukuhlinzwa bekungenziwanga ngokushesha, impilo yengane ngabe ayisindanga.
Lokhu kubonisa ukuthi uma sigula futhi sesaba, kungaba nzima ngathi ukukhuluma sodwa. Ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi , kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nomuntu omethembayo, njengelungu lomndeni noma umngane, nawe . Lowo muntu angakukhumbuza izinto ongase uzikhohlwe, abuze udokotela imibuzo eyengeziwe, futhi akhulumele wena.
Ingabe udokotela uzizwa sengathi uphelelwa yisikhathi? Sizokwenzenjani?
Lena inkinga abantu abaningi ezweni lethu abanayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusesevisini yesiteshi noma emtholampilo kahulumeni, inani leziguli ezilinde ukubonwa udokotela liphezulu. Ngakho isikhathi esinikezwa isiguli esisodwa sincane kakhulu. Kungakapheli imizuzu eyi-10-15, kufanele ukhulume ngesifo sakho esineminyaka eminingi bese ubuyisa imithi.
Lokhu akulona iphutha lodokotela noma leziguli. Lokhu kuyinkinga ngohlelo. Kodwa kungenxa yokuntuleka kwesikhathi lapho izinkinga zokuxhumana zivame ukuvela khona.
| Izinto okufanele zenziwe (Okufanele Uzenze) | Indlela Yokukwenza |
|---|---|
| Lungiselela kusenesikhathi. | Ngaphambi kokuba uye kudokotela, bhala phansi ephepheni izimpawu zakho, usuku ezaqala ngalo, nokuthi ziqala kangaki ukuba zimbi kakhulu. Futhi, bhala phansi imibuzo emi-2-3 okufanele uyibuze. |
| Sho into ebaluleke kakhulu kuqala. | Uma uqala ingxoxo, chaza inkinga yakho eyinhloko. Qala ngokuthi, "Dokotela, lena inkinga enkulu enginayo..." |
| Hamba nothile. | Uma kungenzeka, letha ilungu lomndeni nawe. Kuzokusiza ukukhumbula izinto ongase uzikhohlwe futhi ulalele lokho okushiwo udokotela. |
Wazi kanjani ukuthi udokotela wakho uyakulalela?
Lokhu kulula kakhulu. Uma uqeda ukuxoxela udokotela indaba, bese udokotela ephinda akubuze into efanayo, kusho ukuthi ukunaka kwakhe kungenzeka ukuthi kukwenye indawo. Njengasendabeni yomfana omncane. Ngemva kokuba umama exoxe indaba, udokotela uphinda abuze into efanayo. Leso yisibonakaliso esihle kakhulu.
Uma lokho kwenzeka, ungesabi. Ngomusa yithi, “Dokotela, yilokho engisanda kukusho. Mhlawumbe awungizwanga.” Ukusho lokhu kungase kudonse ukunaka kukadokotela. Kungasindisa ngisho nokuphila kwakho.
Uma sibheka ukuthi kungani ezinye iziguli zifulathela odokotela bendabuko bese zifuna ezinye izindlela, sithola ukuthi isizathu esiyinhloko umuzwa wokuthi “akekho owasilalela.” Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi udokotela angalaleli nje kuphela lesi sifo, kodwa futhi nesiguli.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Lungela: Ngaphambi kokuba uye kudokotela, bhala uhlu lwezimpawu zakho nemibuzo ofuna ukuyibuza. Letha nemibiko yakho yakudala, imithi, njll.
- Khuluma: Tshela udokotela wakho konke okusengqondweni yakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuncane kangakanani. Ungagodli lutho.
- Letha othile: Noma nini lapho kungenzeka, letha ilungu lomndeni noma umngane omethembayo kudokotela. Kuyisikhuthazo esikhulu.
- Uma ungaqondi, buza futhi: Uma ungaqondi okuthile okushiwo udokotela, mayelana nomuthi, noma ngokugula, ungabi namahloni okubuza, "Ngingakuchaza lokho okwengeziwe?"
- Lalela ngokucophelela imiyalelo kadokotela. Bhala amanothi amafushane uma kudingeka.
- Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuthola umbono wesibili: Uma unokungabaza mayelana nokuxilongwa kwakho noma uhlelo lokwelashwa, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuthola umbono wesibili komunye udokotela. Ungesabi ukukhuluma ngakho, ngisho nodokotela wakho.
Indlela yokukhuluma nodokotela , iseluleko sezokwelapha, ukuxhumana nesiguli, umbono wesibili, impilo enempilo , ukubona udokotela , ukuxhumana ngezempilo
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