Yu sabi pɔsin we tink se ilɛk wetin dɛn du, i fɔ pafɛkt, ɛn i nɔ fɔ ivin mek smɔl mistek? Sɔntɛm yu kin fil di sem we. Pan ɔl we i kin tan lɛk se i fayn fɔ du sɔntin di rayt we, we nɔ gɛt ɛni fɔlt, dis na rili sɔntin we kin mek wi strɛs ɛn i kin afɛkt wi layf bad bad wan. Tide wi de tɔk bɔt dis maynd stet we na ‘ɔltin fɔ pafɛkt’, dat na, Perfectionism .
Wetin rili na Pafɛkt pɔsin?
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, na di tranga nid fɔ gɛt ɔltin pafɛkt, fɔ pafɛkt, fɔ mek ɔda pipul si yu as pafɛkt. Bɔt dis rili difrɛn frɔm we yu de tray fɔ du yu bɛst. We yu tray fɔ du yu bɛst, dat kin mek yu gɛt wɛlbɔdi. Bɔt fɔ want fɔ du ɔltin pafɛkt na bad bad tin we yu de tink bɔt usay yu de put prɛshɔn pan yusɛf, sɛt gol dɛn we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ du, ɛn afta dat yu at pwɛl we yu nɔ rich dɛn.
Tu men kayn tin dɛn de we pɔsin kin want fɔ du pafɛkt. Dɛn ɔl tu sɛt ay standad. Bɔt pipul dɛn we nɔ de adap fɔ pafɛkt, kin gɛt siriɔs strɛs we dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ du dɛn gol dɛn de.
Akɔdin to risach , dis sityueshɔn gɛt tri pat:
- Self-oriented Perfectionism: Fɔ ɛkspɛkt fɔ pafɛkt frɔm yusɛf.
- Other-oriented Perfectionism: Fɔ ɛkspɛkt pafɛkt frɔm di wan dɛn we de arawnd yu (famili, padi dɛn, wokman dɛn).
- Socially-prescribed Perfectionism: Fɔ kɔntinyu fɔ bia we di sosayti ɔ ɔda pipul dɛn de prɛs yu fɔ bi pafɛkt.
Ilɛk us kayn yu bi, yu de put wan rili harsh, strikt sɛt ɔf lɔ pan yusɛf. Dis de du mɔ bad pas gud. Lɛ wi si wetin dɛn bi.
1. Prokrastineshɔn ɛn dikɛd prodaktiviti
I sɔprayz fɔ no se pipul dɛn we de tray fɔ du ɔltin fayn fayn wan ɛn pafɛkt wan kin dɔn fɔ mek dɛn de du tin bifo tɛm. Dat min se dɛn nɔ de du bɛtɛ tin. Wetin mek na so i bi?
Imajin se yu gɛt wan big wok fɔ du. As pɔsin we want fɔ pafɛkt, yu plan fɔ du am 100% rayt, ivin dɔŋ to di smɔl smɔl tin. Bɔt di prɛshɔn fɔ aw i fɔ pafɛkt de mek yu fred fɔ bigin di wok. Yu tink se, "O, a nɔ go ɛva pafɛkt lɛk aw a tink se a bi," ɛn yu put ɔf fɔ stat di prɔjek te di ɛnd.
Dis na "ɔl-ɔ-natin" maynd. Either yu du di wok 100% rait, or yu giv op. Dis kin mek yu nɔ ebul fɔ dɔn di wok di rayt tɛm ɛn yu kin fil bad mɔ ɛn mɔ.
2. Yu maynd wik ɛn strɛs mɔ ɛn mɔ
As pɔsin we want fɔ pafɛkt, yu kin kɛr bɔku prɛshɔn na yu sholda. Dis kin bi fɔ yusɛf, ɔr kin bi sɔntin we yu tink se kɔmɔt na sosayti. Dis prɛshɔn we pasmak kin mek yu rili wik pan yu maynd. Dis kin opin di domɔt fɔ bɔku ɔda mental prɔblɛm dɛn.
Sɔm pan dɛn na:
- Fɔ wɔri ɛn pwɛl at
- Tin dɛn we pɔsin kin tink bɔt fɔ kil insɛf
- Fɔ de yu wan
- Nɔ gɛt peshɛnt ɛn fɔ mek yu at pwɛl
- Vɛks
- Obsessiveness ɛn kɔmpalsiv
Apat frɔm dat, yu kin gɛt wan sik we dɛn kɔl Imposter Syndrome . Dis na wen yu fil laik, "A no rait fo dis posishun, dis wok, dis rileshonship. A no gud lek oda pipul. A de ful pipul." Dɛn tin ya we yu kin tink bɔt kin mek yu nɔ ebul fɔ du gud wok ɔ fɔ stɔdi.
3. Wae yu de wɔri ɛn pwɛl at
Na wan rili tayt rilayshɔn de bitwin pafɛkt biznɛs ɛn wɔri/dipreshɔn. We yu nɔ ebul fɔ du di ay standad we yu dɔn sɛt fɔ yusɛf, di prɛshɔn ɛn strɛs we yu de fil kin mek yu wɔri. If dis kayn tin kin kɔntinyu, e kin kam to pwɛl hat.
Sɔm pipul dɛn nɔ kin sho dɛn filin ya na do. Dɛn kin ayd dɛn wɔri, sɔri-at, ɛn pwɛl at, ɛn put ‘pafɛkt’ smayl. Dis na tin we rili denja. Bikɔs ilɛksɛf yu at pwɛl wit layf ɛn yu de tink bɔt fɔ kil yusɛf, nɔbɔdi nɔ no bɔt dat. Sɔntɛm yu go fil se yu nɔ gɛt wan valyu.
If yu de fil dɛn filin ya, duya nɔ sɔfa yu wan. Tɔk to pɔsin we yu biliv. Ɔ fɔ tru, yu go si yu dɔktɔ ɛn tɔk bɔt dis.
4. Prɔblɛm dɛn we gɛt fɔ du wit wɛlbɔdi biznɛs
Dis strɛs kin afɛkt di bɔdi bak. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin gɛt prɔblɛm wit aw dɛn de it. Wan ɛgzampul na wan sik we dɛn kɔl Orthorexia Nervosa . Dis na we pɔsin gɛt rili strikt, strɔng lɔ bɔt wetin i de it ɛn drink, ɛn i kin fil bad bad wan ɛn strɛs if i kɔmɔt biɛn da we de fɔ it ivin smɔl.
Dis tranga nid fɔ kɔntrol ɔltin na layf kin mek sɔmtɛm gɛt Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).I kin kam bak to wan mental sik we dɛn kɔl pafɛkt. Fɔ want pɔsin pafɛkt na fɔ rili want fɔ kɔntrol insɛf. We dɛn lɔs da kɔntrol de, ɔda prɔblɛm dɛn kin kam na dɛn maynd.
| Kwaliti | Fɔ Tray fɔ Gɛt Ɛlth | Fɔ want fɔ du ɔltin pafɛkt we de ambɔg pɔsin |
|---|---|---|
| Gol dɛn | Fɔ sɛt gol dɛn we nɔ izi bɔt we pɔsin kin ebul fɔ du. | Fɔ sɛt gol dɛn we nɔ rial, we tu ay, ɛn pafɛkt. |
| Mistek dɛn we dɛn kin mek | Dɛn kin tek mistek as pat pan di tin dɛn we pɔsin kin lan. | Mistek na we pɔsin insɛf nɔ ebul fɔ bia. |
| We | I gladi fɔ di waka ɛn di tray we dɛn tray fɔ du am. | Na onli tink bɔt di ɛnd rizulyt (pafɛkt). |
| Gladi | Gladi fɔ di tray ɛn di prɔgrɛs we dɛn dɔn mek. | Na we pɔsin pafɛkt, na in pɔsin kin gɛt gladi at fɔ sɔm tɛm. |
5. Disrɔpshɔn pan mɔtalman rilayshɔnship
Wan ɔda bad bad tin we kin apin to yu na we yu kin gɛt prɔblɛm wit yu famili, yu patna, ɛn padi dɛn. Dis kin bi mɔ if yu de ɛkspɛkt di sem ay ‘pafɛkt’ standad frɔm ɔda pipul dɛn we yu de ɛkspɛkt frɔm yusɛf, na de prɔblɛm kin kam.
Yu kin fɛn fɔlt pan ivin di smɔl smɔl tin dɛn we yu patna de du. Yu kin gɛt tin dɛn we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ du frɔm yu pikin dɛn. Sɔntɛm yu nɔ go satisfay wit di wok we ɔda pipul dɛn de du na wokples. Dis kin put bɔku prɛshɔn pan di wan dɛn we de arawnd yu ɛn mek dɛn de fa frɔm yu. Dis nɔr fayn fɔ ɛni rilayshɔnship.
6. Nɔ ebul fɔ liv insay di tɛm we wi de naw
Pɔsin we want fɔ pafɛkt in maynd kin wok ɔltɛm. Yu no de in di present moment, yu de in yu ed. Yu de komplen bɔt sɔntin we bin dɔn apin trade ("If nɔmɔ a bin dɔn du am bɛtɛ smɔl..."), ɔ yu de plan aw fɔ du sɔntin pafɛkt wan tumara bambay.
Dis kin mek yu nɔ gɛt gladi at ɛn pis we de na di tɛm we yu de naw. We yu de tɔk to yu padi, yu de spɛn tɛm wit yu fambul, ɔ yu de go na fayn ples, yu maynd nɔ de de. Dis kin mek bak yu fil se yu wangren de ɛn yu at pwɛl.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- ‘Perfectionism’ na komplit difrεnt, nכ hεlth mental stet pas fכ tray yu bεst.
- Dis kin mek yu gɛt prɔblɛm wit yu maynd lɛk fɔ de tek tɛm, fɔ wɔri, ɛn fɔ gɛt pwɛl hat, ɛn fɔ gɛt prɔblɛm wit yu bɔdi.
- I kin rili pwɛl yu padi biznɛs wit yu fambul ɛn padi dɛn.
- Fɔ gri se dis tin nɔ de ɛp yu na di fɔs tin we yu fɔ du fɔ kɔmɔt pan am.
- If dɛn tin ya de mek yu fil bɔku strɛs na yu ɛvride layf, i rili impɔtant fɔ tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɛn aks fɔ advays, pas fɔ sɔfa yu wan.
💬 Comments (0)
No kɔmɛnt nɔ de yet. Ad yu kɔmɛnt ya fɔ di fɔs tɛm.
Ad yu kɔmɛnt