If yu gɛt tu ɔ tri pikin dɛn na os, bɔku tɛm yu kin fil lɛk fayaman? We yu dɔn fɛt na wan ples, i kin bigin na ɔda ples. Wan pɔsin de tiz di ɔda wan, kɔl dɛnsɛf nem, fɛt, blem dɛnsɛf... Yu fɔ dɔn rili taya wit ɔl dis, nɔto so? Nɔ wɔri, dis nɔto fɔ yu os nɔmɔ. I rili kɔmɔn fɔ mek brɔda ɛn sista dɛn gɛt cham-mɔt lɛk dis we pikin dɛn big. Bɔt, yu nɔ go jɔs gri se na nɔmal tin. If dɛn nɔ de manej dis tin fayn fayn wan, i kin mek pikin dɛn vɛks ɛn vɛks we go las te dɛn big. So, tide wi go tɔk bɔt wetin na dɛn brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kɔnflikt ya, wetin kin mek dɛn gɛt am, ɛn aw wi as mama ɛn papa kin ebul fɔ manej dis sityueshɔn insay wɛlbɔdi we.
Wetin mek pikin dɛn kin fɛt dis kayn we?
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, we brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kin fɛt na di jɛlɔs, kɔmpitishɔn, ɛn fɛt-fɛt we kin apin bitwin brɔda ɛn sista dɛn. Fɔ kɔl dɛnsɛf nem, fɔ mek jok we nɔ fayn, fɔ pik fɛt-fɛt, ɛn fɔ kɔmplen ɔltɛm se na dɛn nɔmɔ dɛn de trit di rayt we, ɔl dis na pat pan dat .
Tink bɔt am, we nyu pikin jɔyn di famili, di big pikin kin fil lɛk se dɛn nɔ de pe atɛnshɔn tumɔs. Dis kin mek pɔsin jɛlɔs smɔl. Dɔn bak, tin dɛn lɛk di difrɛn ej bitwin di pikin dɛn, dɛn abit, ɛn di saiz fɔ di famili kin afɛkt dis. Sɔntɛnde, big big fɛt kin apin bikɔs dɛn de ple tɔys, di TV rimot, ɔ ivin di we aw mama ɛn papa dɛn de pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn. Dis na jɔs pat pan di waka we pikin dɛn kin waka we dɛn de gro ɔp. Di impɔtant tin na fɔ ɔndastand ustɛm, as mama ɛn papa, wi fɔ invayt ɛn ustɛm wi fɔ mek di pikin dɛn tink bɔt am fɔ dɛnsɛf.
8 prɛktikal step fɔ manej brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kɔnflikt
Pan ɔl we wi nɔ go ebul fɔ stɔp dɛn fɛt-fɛt ya kpatakpata, wi kin ridyus dɛn ɛn ɛp fɔ mek pikin dɛn gɛt gud padi biznɛs .
1. Mek di say we yu de na os bi ɛgzampul.
Pikin dɛn kin lan mɔ we dɛn de wach wi. If mama ɛn papa dɛn de ala ɛn fɛt ɔltɛm, slam domɔt, ɔ vɛks we dɛn nɔ de tɔk, yu nɔ go ebul fɔ ɛkspɛkt ɛnitin we bɛtɛ pas dis frɔm yu pikin dɛn. Bi gud ɛgzampul fɔ yu pikin dɛn. Sho yu pikin dɛn aw fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm bay we dɛn de rɛspɛkt dɛnsɛf, ɔndastand wetin dɛn kɔmpin dɛn nid, ɛn wok togɛda.
2. Stɔp fɔ lɛbul ɛn kɔmpia pikin dɛn.
Ɔl pikin difrɛn. Ɔlman gɛt in yon trɛnk ɛn wikɛd tin dɛn. We yu kɔmpia wan pikin to ɔda pikin, dat kin jɔs mek pipul dɛn de kɔmpit ɛn jɛlɔs. Nɔ ɛva tɔk tin lɛk, "Luk aw yu sista de stɔdi tranga wan ɛn gɛt gud gred, wetin mek yu nɔ ebul?" Bifo dat, gladi fɔ ɛni pikin in trɛnk.
3. Sɛt klia lɔ dɛn fɔ mek pɔsin biev fayn
GudMek yu pikin dɛn no klia wan wetin na fayn abit ɛn wetin nɔ fayn. Sɛt lɔ dɛn na os we se tin dɛn lɛk fɔ bit, swɛ, ɛn put ɔda pipul dɛn dɔŋ. Dɔn bak, mek shɔ se yu ɛksplen di bad tin dɛn we kin apin if yu brok dɛn lɔ dɛn de (e.g., fɔ ridyus di tɛm fɔ ple). Dɔn bak, mek shɔ se yu prez ɛn blɛs yu pikin dɛn fɔ di gud we aw dɛn de biev we dɛn rɛspɛkt dɛnsɛf ɛn tray fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm dɛn bay we dɛn de tɔk bɔt tin dɛn.
4. Ɔndastand di difrɛns bitwin ‘ikwal’ ɛn ‘fairness’.
Ikwal ɛn fɔ du tin tret na tu difrɛn tin dɛn. Imajin se yu de lɛf big pikin fɔ wach TV te 9 p.m., bɔt yu tɛl yu smɔl pikin fɔ go slip na 8. Di smɔl pikin go tink se dis nɔ rayt. Di impɔtant tin we de ya na fɔ ɛksplen to yu pikin dɛn di rizin dɛn we mek yu disayd fɔ du sɔntin. I izi fɔ pikin dɛn fɔ ɔndastand if yu tɔk sɔntin lɛk, "Yu brɔda big pas yu bɔy pikin, so i kin wek smɔl. Yu yɔŋ, so yu nid mɔ slip. We yu big, yu kin du di sem tin."
5. Gi ɛni pikin difrɛn tɛm.
Dis rili impɔtant. Spend 10 minit ɛvride yu wan wit ɛni pikin. Insay da tɛm de, tek tɛm lisin to dɛn. Gi dɛn di chans fɔ tɔk bɔt wetin de na dɛn maynd ɛn di prɔblɛm dɛn we dɛn gɛt wit dɛn brɔda ɛn sista dɛn. I rili impɔtant fɔ mek di pikin fil se "Mama ɛn Papa de luk fɔ mi bak" fɔ mek dɛn gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf.
6. Tich aw fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm
I nɔ go du fɔ jɔs se, "Nɔ fɛt." Yu nid fɔ tich yu pikin dɛn aw fɔ sɔlv wan fɛt we i apin.
- We yu vɛks, instead fɔ ala, praktis fɔ sho aw yu de fil bay we yu de tɔk tin lɛk "A fil sɔri" ɔ "A fil vɛks."
- Praktis fɔ lisin we di ɔda pɔsin de tɔk.
- Ɛp fɔ fɛn sɔlv (negoshieshɔn) we ɔl tu di pati dɛn go gri pan.
7. Una gɛt Famili Mitin
Na fayn abit fɔ gɛt smɔl famili mitin wan tɛm insay di wik. Yu kin tɔk bɔt kɔmɔn tin dɛn we kin apin na os, plan fɔ di nɛks wik, ɛn ɔda tin dɛn Na ya, ɔlman kin gɛt chans fɔ tɔk wetin dɛn tink . Dis kin ɛp pikin dɛn fɔ lan fɔ wok togɛda as tim ɛn rɛspɛkt wetin ɔda pipul dɛn tink.
Ustɛm yu fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok?
Sɔntɛnde, ilɛksɛf yu tray tranga wan, yu nɔ go ebul fɔ kɔntrol dɛn cham-mɔt dɛn ya. If prɔblɛm de spiral ɔut ɔf kɔntrol ɛn yu fil lɛk se de situeshɔn de kɔmɔt na yu an, nɔr shem fɔ go fɛn pɔrsin in ɛp. Na fayn we fɔ sho aw yu bisin bɔt yu pikin dɛn.
Mɛmba se fɔ aks fɔ ɛp we prɔblɛm tu big fɔ kɔntrol nɔto sayn fɔ wikɛd, bɔt na sayn fɔ trɛnk.
Insay dɛn kayn tin ya, i rili impɔtant fɔ tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɛn if nid de, go to ɛp to pɔsin we sabi bɔt pikin dɛn maynd .
| Sayn fɔ denja | Aw fɔ ɔndastand |
|---|---|
| Impekt pan mama ɛn papa dɛn rilayshɔnship | If prɔblɛm de ɔltɛm bitwin mama ɛn papa bikɔs pikin dɛn de fɛt, ɛn dɛn de blem dɛnsɛf. |
| Di trɛtin de fɔ mek pɔsin du bad to pɔsin in bɔdi. | If wan pikin wund ɔda pikin bad bad wan ɔ trɛtin fɔ du dat. |
| Impekt pan mental hεlth | If dɛn fɛt-fɛt ya de ambɔg di we aw pikin ɔ ɔda pɔsin na in famili de tink bɔt insɛf, if dɛn de wɔri ɛn fred ɔltɛm. |
| Asosieshɔn wit ɔda mental wɛlbɔdi prɔblɛm dɛn | Brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kin gɛt prɔblɛm wit ɔda pɔsin in maynd, lɛk fɔ gɛt pwɛl hat na pikin. |
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Di cham-mɔt bitwin brɔda ɛn sista dɛn na nɔmal tin. Nɔ fil gilti fɔ dat.
- Yu wok nɔto fɔ bi jɔj, bɔt na fɔ bi pɔsin we de gayd ɛn lisin to pikin dɛn.
- Bifo yu kɔmpia pikin dɛn to dɛnsɛf, prez dɛn wan wan talɛnt.
- Tich yu pikin dɛn fayn fayn we dɛn fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm. I go bi wan valyu skil fɔ dɛn ɔl dɛn layf.
- If yu nɔ ebul fɔ kɔntrol di cham-mɔt, nɔ ɛva shem fɔ tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɛn aks fɔ advays to pɔsin we sabi du in wok.
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