Yu mɛmba we una bin gɛda fɔ wan famili ivent, batde, ɔ jɔs famili gɛda, ɛn una nɔ bin gri wit yu yon brɔda ɔ sista bɔt sɔntin we nɔ impɔtant? Yu fil lɛk se yu na bin pikin ɛn yu fil lɛk se yu vɛks ɛn vɛks de kam insay yu at? Sɔntɛm na jɔs jok, ɔ sɔntɛm na kɔmɛnt we de mek pɔsin fil bad. Yu tink se dis na jɔs prɔblɛm fɔ yu? Atɔl. Dis na sɔntin we kin apin na bɔku famili dɛn pas aw yu tink.
Wetin mek dis kɔmpitishɔn/vɛks kin kɔntinyu ivin afta i dɔn big?
Di men rizin fɔ dis na di kia we wi mama ɛn papa bin de kia fɔ wi we wi bin yɔŋ. Sɔntɛm yu fil se yu mama ɛn papa bin kia fɔ yu ɔda brɔda ɛn sista ɛn lɛk pas yu. E kin bi sɔmtin wae rili apin, ɔr e kin bi sɔmtin wae yu fil (perceived difference) . Bɔt dis filin na di big tin we kin mek brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kɔmpit ɛn vɛks. Dis nɔto jɔs we i bin smɔl. Sɔm stɔdi dɔn sho se dɛn filin ya stil de na pipul dɛn maynd ivin afta dɛn dɔn ol 50 ɔ 60 ia, ɛn ivin afta dɛn mama ɛn papa dɔn day.
As big pipul, kɔmpitishɔn kin de fɔ tin dɛn lɛk "Udat gɛt mɔ sakrifays?" ɛn "Udat gladi pas am?" Bɔku tɛm, dɛn cham-mɔt dɛn ya kin kɔmɔt na do. Dɛn tin ya kin kɔmɔt tru tin dɛn lɛk fɔ laf ɛn put di ɔda pɔsin dɔŋ.
We dɛn tin ya pas jɔs fɔ tɔk bɔt padi biznɛs, i kin rili afɛkt pɔsin in maynd. Ɛspɛshali if wan pɔrsin rɛdi fɔ woke tru dɛn tin ya, bɔt di ɔda pɔsin nɔr rɛdi fɔ du dat, de tin kin wɔs.
Sɔm pipul dɛn kin dɔn ɔl di kɔntakt wit dɛn brɔda ɛn sista dɛn bikɔs ɔf dɛn tin ya. Dis nɔr kin bigin wantɛm wantɛm, i gɛt istri we de go bak to pikin tɛm.
Wetin mek prɔblɛm dɛn we yu kin gɛt we yu smɔl kin fala yu te yu big?
Wi nɔ de pik wi brɔda ɛn sista dɛn. So na nɔmal tin fɔ gɛt cham-mɔt we yu de liv togɛda. Tink bɔt am, i tek wan pan yu tɔys dɛn, i nɔ de du wetin yu want. Ɔl dis kin bigin wit smɔl smɔl tin dɛn lɛk dis.
As mɔtalman, bɔku tɛm wi kin kɔmpia wisɛf to di wan dɛn we de arawnd wi. Bikɔs wi de nia wi brɔda ɛn sista dɛn pas ɔlman, wi kin kɔmpia wisɛf to dɛn fɔs. Dis na di rizin we mek dɛn kin gi wi difrɛn wok dɛn insay di famili we wi nɔ no . Imajin se na os, na natin pikin ɛn wan pikin we rili kwayɛt de. Di nat pikin kin tink se di mama ɛn papa lɛk di pikin we kwayɛt mɔ. Di pikin we kwayɛt kin fil se i fɔ kɔnfyus na di freym fɔ di "gud pikin".
If yu nɔ gɛt chans fɔ kɔmɔt na dɛn freym ya, da vɛks ɛn jɛlɔs de go bigin fɔ de na yu maynd as tɛm de go. Dis na wetin leta kin mek dɛn fɛt, kɔmpitishɔn, ɛn tray fɔ pas dɛnsɛf.
Di rilayshɔnship we lɔng pas ɔl na yu layf: Brɔdaship
I go mɔs bi se yu dɔn spɛn di tɛm wit yu brɔda ɛn sista na yu layf. I kin lɔng pas padi, patna, ɔ mama ɛn papa. Na dat mek we wi kin gɛda wit wi brɔda ɛn sista dɛn, fɔ ɛgzampul na famili ivent, wi kin lɛk fɔ fɔdɔm bak pan ol abit dɛn. I kin tek smɔl tray fɔ brok dɛn patɛns dɛn de.
Okay, naw lɛ wi bigin fɔ luk fɔ sɔlv fɔ dis prɔblɛm, nɔto so?
As big pipul, wi kin tink ɛn disayd fɔ du tin bɛtɛ pas pikin dɛn. So wi kin tray fɔ sɔlv dɛn fɛt-fɛt ya we dɔn de fɔ lɔng lɔng tɛm . Na sɔm advays dɛn ya we go ɛp wi.
1. Tray fɔ chenj di we aw yu de tink smɔl.
Fɔs, tink bɔt am di we aw yu brɔda de si am. I go bi se di tin we apin to am rili difrɛn frɔm di tin we yu gɛt. Sɔntɛm yu nɔ go ivin mɛmba di smɔl tin we bin apin we mek di fɛt bigin. Bɔt di bad we aw pipul dɛn bin de fil we da tin de apin, stil de.
Yu no bi di sem pesin we yu bin bi wen yu bin pikin. Ɛn gri se yu brɔda ɛn sista dɔn chenj. Luk am wit nyu yay. "Jɔs lɛk aw wi de bil padi biznɛs, wi nid fɔ bil nyu rilayshɔnship we dɛn kɔl brɔda ɛn sista," na so sayɛnsman dɛn se.
2. Mek wi tok kolhat, witout veks.
Kɔmyunikeshɔn na di men tin we de ya. Bi klia, bɔt kol at, bɔt wetin yu want frɔm dɛn ɛn wetin de mɔna yu.
Fɔ ɛgzampul, yu kin yuz sɛntɛns lɛk dis: "A want mek yu stɔp [fɔ du dis] bikɔs i de mek a fil [lɛk se yu nɔ trɔst mi]." Ɔ, "A want mek yu stɔp fɔ aks mi kwɛstyɔn bɔt [dis tɔpik] bikɔs i de mek a fil se dɛn de mɔna mi."
As pikin, wi nɔ ebul fɔ kɔntrol di we aw wi de vɛks. Bɔt as big pipul dɛn, wi kin ebul. Yu kin stɔp fɔ tink bɔt ol wund dɛn ɛn disayd fɔ du sɔntin naw.
| Tin dɛn fɔ du (Do’s) . | Nɔto fɔ du dat |
|---|---|
| Lisin: Tray fɔ ɔndastand di we aw di ɔda pɔsin de tink. Mek dɛnsɛf tɔk. | Nɔ tink se: Nɔ disayd fɔ yusɛf se, "Na so i de tink." Aks am ɛn fɛn ɔndastand. |
| Sɔri-at: Tink bɔt aw yu go fil if yu bin de na dɛn sus. | Nɔ "fiks": Nɔ tray fɔ fiks di prɔblɛm bay we yu chenj di ɔda pɔsin. Nɔbɔdi nɔ lɛk dat. |
| Aksept yu pat: Tu say dɛn de fɔ ɛni fɛt. Ɔndastand yu mistek dɛn. | Nɔ ol di tin dɛn we dɔn pas: Nɔ drɛg ol tin dɛn lɛk, "Yu bin tan lɛk dis we yu bin yɔŋ." |
| Sɛt bɔda dɛn: If tɔpik dɛn de we yu nɔ want fɔ tɔk bɔt, tɔk klia wan bɔt dɛn. | Nɔ tink se na majik fix: Dis na prɔblɛm we dɔn de fɔ lɔng tɛm. I kin tek tɛm ɛn tray tranga wan fɔ mek wi ebul fɔ sɔlv di prɔblɛm. |
Nɔ fred fɔ aks fɔ ɛp.
Sɔntɛnde, dɛn padi biznɛs ya kin rili bad ɛn mek dɛn fil bad . Insay dɛn kayn tin ya, i bɛtɛ fɔ mek dɛn mek wɛlbɔdi bɔda fɔ ɔl tu di pati dɛn pas fɔ tray fɔ fos fɔ mek dɛn gɛt tayt padi biznɛs.
If yu dɔn tray tranga wan fɔ mek di rilayshɔnship fayn bɔt i nɔ de wok, i impɔtant fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok. Yu kin tɔk to yu famili dɔktɔ ɛn if nid de, yu kin sɛn yu to pɔsin lɛk pɔsin we de gi yu advays. Na natin fɔ shem fɔ.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Big big brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kin gɛt cham-mɔt na bɔku famili dɛn. Dis nɔto jɔs yu famili in fɔlt.
- Tray fɔ liv insay di tɛm we wi de naw pas fɔ liv di tɛm we yu de liv trade. Una ɔl tu difrɛn naw.
- Luk yu brɔda ɛn sista wit nyu yay. Tray fɔ ɔndastand dɛn sayd.
- Tɔk klia wan bɔt wetin yu nid ɛn aw yu de fil, bɔt yu nɔ go vɛks.
- Fɔ mek padi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin tek tɛm ɛn tray tranga wan. I nɔ kin apin wan nɛt.
- If dɛn tin ya at fɔ sɔlv yusɛf, nɔ shem fɔ aks fɔ ɛp. Tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɛn go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok if nid de.
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