Yu want fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn maynd bak? Lɛ wi tɔk bɔt Imɔshɔnal Intɛlijɛns insay simpul wɔd dɛn!

Wi ɔl want fɔ bi gud ɛn padi wit ɔda pipul dɛn. Bɔt sɔntɛnde wi kin wɔnda se, "Wetin mek i de biev dis kayn we?" Sɔntɛnde, i nɔ kin izi fɔ ɔndastand gud gud wan wetin de na di ɔda pɔsin in maynd. Bɔt yu no, dis na sɔntin we wi kin praktis ɛn divɛlɔp. Tide wi go tɔk bɔt dis ebul fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn, we na impɔtant pat pan `(Emotional Intelligence)`.

Yu kin imajin aw ɔda pipul dɛn go fil?

Imajin dis: Wan pan yu padi aks yu fɔ go na pati. Leta yu kam fɔ no se i aks ɔl di gyal pikin dɛn na yu grup, nɔto jɔs Pɔla. Naw, aw yu tink se Pɔla go fil if i kam fɔ no?

A. Yu tink se i go vɛks? B. Yu tink se i go sɔri? C. Yu tink se i go fil bad? D. I go fil se dɛn dɔn lɛf am? E. Yu tink se i go vɛks? F. Yu tink se i go fred? G. Yu tink se i go shem? H. Yu tink se dɛn go lɛf am in wan?

I go mɔs bi se yu bin fɛn di ansa bay we yu put yusɛf na Pɔla in sus ɛn wɔnda aw yu go fil. Bɔrku pipul dɛn kin gɛt wan ɔr mɔr pan dɛn kayn filin ya wan tɛm lɛk dis: wae dɛn kin vɛks, dɛn kin fil bad, dɛn kin fil bad, ɛn dɛn kin de fa frɔm ɔda pipul dɛm. E nɔr kin izi fɔ pɔrsin fil bad, frayd, ɔr shem wae dɛn nɔr gri wit pɔrsin lɛk dis. Na di sem tin kin apin we wi nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn.

Fɔ ebul fɔ no aw ɔda pipul dɛn go fil na impɔtant pat pan wetin wi kɔl ``Imɔshɔnal Intɛlijɛns'', ɔ ``EQ'' fɔ shɔt. Dis na skil we wi kin divɛlɔp bay we wi de praktis.

We wi ɔndastand aw ɔda pipul dɛn go fil, i de gayd di we aw wi de tɔk to dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul, insay di pati sɛnɛriɔ we wi dɔn tɔk bɔt, if Pɔla aks yu se, "Yu de go na Regan in pati?" If yu no se dɛn nɔ invayt am, dat go afɛkt di we aw yu de ansa, nɔto so? Yu kin tɔk ɔ nɔ tɔk dɛn tin ya:

A. "Yes, a de go – yu de go?"

B. "Yes, a de go. Aw a go tel yu dis? Na tru se im no tok to yu?"

C. "Yes, evribodi de go!"

D. "Of kos a de go! I go bi di bes pati fo di yie!"

E. "Yes. A sɔri se a nɔ invayt yu. A nɔ tink se Regan du am fɔ mek yu fil bad, a yɛri se in mama ɛn papa jɔs alaw am fɔ tɔk to sɔm pipul dɛn."

If yu nɔ bin no se dɛn nɔ invayt Pɔla, yu kin ansa A, C, ɔ D. Bɔt bikɔs yu no di wan ol stori, sɔntɛm yu de tink bɔt aw Pɔla de fil ɛn ansa B ɔ E. C ɛn D na di kayn ansa dɛn we yu go se we yu no se dɛn rili invayt di ɔda pɔsin.

Rid Bɔdi Langwej

Sɔntɛnde, yu kin gɛt di mɔ infɔmeshɔn frɔm wetin pɔsin nɔ tɛl yu. Wan ɔda pat pan ``Imɔshɔnal Intɛlijɛns'' na fɔ rid di signal dɛm we pipul dɛn de sɛn yu ɛn tek dɛn na kɔna.

Imajin se Pɔla kam nia yu, i luk lɛk se i sɔri smɔl. I aks se: "Yu go na Regan in pati Satide?" Frɔm in filin signal dɛn (bɔdi langwej, fes ɛksprɛshɔn), yu kin no se Pɔla no se dɛn nɔ invayt am. Insay dis kayn tin, yu kin gi ansa A, bɔt yu kin pik B ɔ E mɔ.

Bɔt imajin se Pɔla de kam nia una ɔl gladi ɛn se, "Ei, a yɛri se Regan de mek pati dis wikɛnd. Una de go?" If yu jɔj am bay in bɔdi langwej, yu go mɔs tink se, "O, i nɔ no, i jɔs de wet fɔ inviteshɔn."

If yu geht gud EQ, yu no se na Paula nɔmɔ dɛn nɔ invayt, so yu fil rili nɔ kɔmfyut fɔ tɛl am se yu de go na di pati. Pan ɔl we na in wok fɔ kɔntrol di we aw i de fil, sɔntɛm yu go sɔri fɔ am. Yu no se di we aw yu de ansa kin mek i fil fayn ɔ i kin mek i fil bad mɔ. So yu kin pik yu wɔd dɛn akɔdin to dat.

Fɔ ɔndastand aw pipul dɛn de biev

Di ebul fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ jɔs de mek wi ebul fɔ tink bifo tɛm bɔt aw pipul dɛn go fil pan sɔntin, bɔt i de ɛp wi bak fɔ ɔndastand aw pipul dɛn go biev to sɔntin.

Lɛ wi luk wan ɛgzampul:

Na 8am na `(Homeroom)` yu padi de smayl, rili frenli, en ful wit enaji. Leta da ivintɛm de, i rili sɔri, i lɛf smɔl fɔ lɛ i kray. Wetin yu tink se go dɔn apin bitwin dɛn tu tɛm ya?

A. I bin gɛt fɛt wit in galfrɛn na lanch, ɛn naw dɛn nɔ de tɔk.

B. I pas di aljɛbra ɛgzam insay di nɔmba 4 tɛm.

C. I jɔs kam fɔ no se i nɔ mek di skul in fɔs gred baskɛtbɔl tim.

D. Di kemistri ticha bin gi bɔku homwok.

E. I go mɔs dɔn jɔs gɛt bad de.

Yu fɔ dɔn pul di ansa B wantɛm wantɛm: `(Emotional Intelligence)` de tɛl yu se di we aw yu padi de biev tan lɛk we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du ɛgzam pas fɔ pas am. If yu padi bin gɛt bad de (D ɔ E), i kin taya, strɛs, ɔ strɛs smɔl – bɔt i nɔ de kam fɔ kray. We yu pul da ansa de, yu kin pe atɛnshɔn dairekt pan di tu rizin dɛn we mek yu padi go vɛks mɔ: A ɔ C.

Pipul wae gud fɔ sɔri fɔ ɔda pipul dɛn kin tink bɔt aw di ɔda pɔrsin de fil ("If a tɛl am dis, i go rili fil bad"). Dɛn kin rilayt to aw di ɔda pɔsin de riak to sɔntin ("O, a rili ɔndastand wetin mek i vɛks so. Nɔ wɔnda!"). We wi ɔndastand aw ɔda pipul dɛn de fil, aw dɛn de biev, ɛn aw dɛn de biev , dat kin ɛp wi fɔ gɛt bɛtɛ padi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn.

Aw dɛn go ebul fɔ gɛt dis abiliti?

I nɔ kin izi fɔ tink bifo tɛm ɛn ɔndastand aw ɔda pɔsin go fil. Sɔm pipul dɛn sabi dis pas ɔda pipul dɛn, bɔt na lɛk ɔlman kin ebul fɔ du mɔ we dɛn de praktis.Fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn rili dipen pan fɔ tek tɛm wach ɛn lisin gud gud wan.

I kin bigin wit fɔ tek tɛm wach.

If yu si pɔsin slip ɛn fɔdɔm, yu nɔ tink se, "Oh my!", lɛk se i apin to yu? Wi kin fil wetin ɔda pipul dɛn de fil jɔs bay we wi de wach dɛn. Sayɛnsman dɛn tink se wan bayolojikal rizin de fɔ dis. Dɛn biliv se wan kayn bren sɛl de we dɛn kɔl ``Mirror Neurons'' we de faya di sem we we wi de du sɔntin ɛn we wi de wach ɔda pɔsin de du am .

Tray dɛn we ya fɔ mek yu ebul fɔ wach fayn fayn tin dɛn:

• Pe atɛnshɔn to pipul dɛn fes ɛn bɔdi langwej. Neks tɛm we yu de na mal, kɔfi shɔp, ɔ na bɔs ɔ tren, tray dis: Luk rawnd ɛn tray fɔ no aw pipul dɛn de fil bay aw dɛn de tɔk bɔt dɛn bɔdi, aw dɛn de sho dɛn fes, ɛn di tin dɛn we dɛn de du. Di titi we gɛt di buk dɛn na in lap go mɔs gɛt ɛgzam we de kam. I gɛt kɔnfidɛns – ɔ i strɛs? Wetin bɔt di wan we in yay lɔk? Yu tink se i de fil pis? Taya? I sɔri fɔ no?
• Rid buk ɛn wach fim dɛn we de sho aw pipul dɛn de fil rial. Pe atɛnshɔn to aw difrɛn pipul dɛn de fil ɛn aw dɛn de biev. Tray fɔ ɔndastand wetin mek dɛn pipul dɛn de fil di we aw dɛn de fil. Frɔm dɛn filin dɛn de, tɔk wetin pɔsin we de insay di stori go du nɛks. Ɔ si if yu go ebul fɔ ɛksplen wetin mek wan pɔsin we de insay di stori du sɔntin.

I de divɛlɔp bay we pɔsin de lisin gud wan.

Bɔku tɛm, pipul dɛn we sabi ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn kin lisin gud gud wan. Risach dɔn sho se di mɔ pɔsin de lisin fayn, na di mɔ i kin gɛt kɔnekshɔn wit di pɔsin we de tɔk. Dis kin mek pipul dɛn fil se dɛn gɛt kɔnekshɔn ɛn dɛn kin gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf.

Bɔku pan wi tink se wi na gud lisin – bikɔs i tan lɛk se fɔ lisin rili simpul ɛn besik. Bɔt bɔku tɛm wi kin so bizi de tink bɔt wetin wi want fɔ tɔk dat wi nɔ kin lisin fayn lɛk aw wi tink se wi fɔ lisin. Na sɔm we dɛn ya fɔ mek yu sabi fɔ lisin gud gud wan:

• Praktis fɔ lisin fayn we yu de tɔk to yu ɛvride. Rili pe atɛnshɔn to wetin di ɔda pɔsin de tɔk. Trenin yusɛf fɔ tink se fɔ lisin impɔtant pas fɔ tɔk.
• Lisin to di stori ɛn bak di filin dɛn. We yu padi tɛl yu sɔntin, tray fɔ imajin aw dɛn go de fil da tɛm de. Se sɔntin lɛk, "O, dat go mɔs dɔn bi big filin!" ɔ, "Dat go dɔn rili vɛks fɔ yu," fɔ sho se yu de tray fɔ ɔndastand yu padi in ɛkspiriɛns. Yu go mɔs si yusɛf de kam nia di pɔrsin, de kam "in sync" wit dɛm. Yu go ebul fɔ tink bak bɔt wetin yu padi go tɔk nɛks.
• Tek tɛm lisin gud gud wan to wetin pɔsin de tɔk.Aks yu padi ɔ fambul bɔt wan spɛshal tɛm na dɛn layf. Fɔ ɛgzampul, aks yu mama ɛn papa bɔt di de we dɛn mared, ɔ aks yu grani ɛn granpa bɔt aw i bin fil we dɛn bɔn dɛn fɔs pikin. Tray fɔ imajin aw da ɛkspiriɛns de go dɔn tan lɛk fɔ dɛn. Aks dɛn fɔ tɛl yu mɔ bɔt aw dɛn bin de fil ɛn wetin mek dɛn fil da we de.

Fɔ tɔn ɔndastandin to sɔri-at

We yu dɔn ebul fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn, aw yu go yuz da no de? If yu tan lɛk bɔku pipul dɛn, yu kin yuz am fɔ ɛp ɛn sɔpɔt di wan dɛn we yu lɛk ɛn bisin bɔt. Dis na wetin wi kin kɔl sɔri-at, ɛn sɔri-at kin ɛp wi fɔ bil padi biznɛs. Tray dɛn tri we ya fɔ sho se yu gɛt sɔri-at:

• Aks ɔda pipul dɛn wetin dɛn nid. If yu padi de go tru prɔblɛm, aks dɛn wetin yu go du fɔ ɛp. If yu padi se, "A nɔ no," tink bɔt wetin yu go nid pan dis kayn tin ɛn tɛl yu fɔ du sɔntin we tan lɛk dis.
• Sho se yu rili bisin bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn. Bi curious abaut di pipul we yu sabi – no bi fo prying or fake way, bot wit sense se yu wan andastan dem likl beta. Fɔ ɛgzampul, aks bɔt wetin dɛn lɛk, aw dɛn de fil, wetin dɛn tink, ɛn wetin dɛn tink.
• Akt wit gud at. We yu yɛri pipul dɛn de tɔk bad bɔt am, de provok yu, ɔ de mek yu jok we nɔ fayn, di fɔs tin we yu fɔ du na fɔ tink bɔt aw di pɔsin we de gɛt dis prɔblɛm go fil. Dis go ɛp yu fɔ lisin to di ɔda pɔsin in filin ɛn nɔ go jɔyn pan am.

Ivin smɔl akt dɛm fɔ du gud kin bil fayn fayn soshal kɔnekshɔn (say "hi" to pɔsin we de in wan na lanch tɛm ɛn si aw dat de mek yu fil). Sayɛnsman dɛn no naw se strɔng kɔnekshɔn wit ɔda pipul dɛn kin afɛkt wi wɛlbɔdi, gladi at, ɛn ivin aw lɔng wi de liv.

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl fɔ mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, yu go dɔn ɔndastand aw impɔtant dis aspek fɔ ``Imɔshɔnal Intɛlijɛns'', fɔ ɔndastand aw ɔda pipul dɛn de fil. Wit dis, wi kin:

• Tink bifo tɛm bɔt aw ɔda pipul dɛn go fil.
• Ɔndastand wetin pipul dɛn de tɔk tru tin dɛn lɛk bɔdi langwej ɛn aw dɛn de sho dɛn fes.
• Ɔndastand aw pipul dɛn kin biev to sɔntin ɛn no wetin mek.
• Wit ɔl dis, bil mɔtalman padi biznɛs we strɔng ɛn we gɛt wanwɔd.

Di impɔtant tin na dat, dis nɔto sɔntin we kin apin to ɛnibɔdi. Na skil we wi kin gɛt bay we wi de praktis ɛn tray tranga wan. Dis waka kin bigin wit fɔ tek tɛm wach ɛn tek tɛm lisin. As yu de praktis, yu go no aw yu sabi fɔ ɔndastand ɔda pipul dɛn. Dɔn yu layf go fayn mɔ ɛn mɔ!

Imɔshɔn, imɔshɔnal intɛlijɛns, kɔmyunikeshɔn, ɛmpati, rilayshɔnship, mental wɛlbɔdi, EQ