Te Tātaritanga Kāore Au i Whakaaro ka Whiwhi Au: Taku Kōrero Bipolar (Bipolar Disorder)

I whakaurua ahau ki tētahi hōhipera hinengaro i te tau 2003 i te wā i tīmata ai ahau ki te whakaaro whakamomori, ki te kite i ngā mea kāore i te tūturu, ā, i roto i te pouri nui. I reira i kitea ai ahau e ngā tākuta he mate hinengaro rua ahau. Kāore i miharo i te whakaaro ki te whānuitanga o ngā tohu i pā ki ahau i taua wā. Engari he tino ohorere ki ahau. Nā te mea i mua i taku haerenga atu i te tatau o te Wāhanga Maimoatanga Ohotata (ETU) o te hōhipera, mehemea i pātai mai tetahi ki ahau, kua mea atu ahau, "Kei te pai ahau." Kāore au i te mōhio he aha te mate hinengaro.

He aha te āhua o tōku ao i mua i te tātaritanga mate?

I tipu ake ahau i roto i tētahi whānau noa iho o te hunga noho waenga. He taraiwa taraka tōku pāpā, ā, he wahine noho kāinga tōku māmā. Kāore mātou i te tino whai rawa, engari he oranga pumau tō mātou. He whare tō mātou ake i ngā tāone iti, e rua ngā motuka, me te inihua hauora. He whānau noa iho mātou. Ko te whakaaro i roto i tō mātou whare, me aro noa te tāne ki ngā raruraru e pā mai ana ki a ia, ā, ki te mirimiri noa ia i te paru ki a ia anō, ka pai ngā mea katoa.

He whakanui rawa pea taku kōrero, engari he tino tumanako tōku whānau ki ahau. I whakaakona ahau kia pono, kia marino, kia whakaute . Whakaarohia te uaua o te pupuri i ēnei āhuatanga e te tangata e pouri ana, e te tangata porangi rānei.

I te korenga e taea e au te whakatutuki i ngā tumanakohanga a ōku mātua, ka whiua ahau e rātou. I te kino haere o tōku hinengaro, ka kaha haere ngā whiu i whiua ki ahau. I te kaha haere o ngā whiu, ka mokemoke haere ahau. Inaa, nā te mea kāore he rongoā mō tēnei mate hinengaro i roto i tōku hinengaro, ka kino haere tōku āhua i ia rā, i ia rā.

I taua wā, i ia rā, i puta mai ngā whakaaro whakamomori ki ahau . Kāore au i whakaaro he mea rerekē, nā te mea kāore tetahi i kōrero mō taua mea. I whakaaro ahau he rite tonu te whakaaro o te katoa. I te rā i whakatau ai ahau ki te whakamomori i ahau anō, he mea noa ki ahau. Engari, i te waimarie, i pātai tika mai tetahi i kite i te huringa o taku whanonga, "Kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakamomori i a koe anō?"

Kāore he take i takoto ai i ahau, nō reira ka mea atu ahau "āe." I taua wā tonu, ka mea mai ia me haere tāua ki te hōhipera. I ohorere ahau. Ka titiro atu ahau ki a ia, ka mea atu:

I taku kitenga he mate hinengaro rua tōku...

E maumahara ana ahau, he mate hinengaro rua tōku.Ko te pātai tuatahi i pātai atu ahau ki te tākuta hinengaro i te hōhipera i te wā i kīia mai ai kei a au, "Me pēhea koe i mōhio ai, e te tākuta?" i pātai atu ahau. I mea mai ia kei a au ngā tohu noa o te mate, ā, he mea miharo te korenga o tetahi i kite i tēnei mate mō te wā roa.

Engari kāore au i miharo. Nā te mea, ko wai rā i roto i tōku ao i mōhio ki ngā take hauora hinengaro pēnei? Kāore tētahi o mātou i ako i te mate hinengaro. I whakaaro mātou ko te mate hinengaro he mea e pā ana ki te hunga haruru, tutu, kōrero pōturi, ā, kāore i te mōhio. Kāore au i te tutu, he mātauranga pai ahau. He mahi tāku. E ai ki tō mātou māramatanga iti, kāore e taea e te hunga mate hinengaro te mahi. Nō reira, me pēhea taku mate hinengaro?

Ina hoki, i muri i taku tātaritanga, he nui ngā mea i akohia e au mō te mate hinengaro, te mate hinengaro rua, me ahau anō. Me ako ahau ki te whakaaro i ngā huarahi hou, ki te hanga anō i ahau anō. Me taunga ahau ki ngā pānga taha o te rongoā. He maha ngā take i hunaia e au i roto i tōku hinengaro, kāore au i te mōhio. Ko te mea nui, i ako ahau ki te tango i te kawenga mō aku whanonga. Ahakoa ehara i te mea nāku anake te he, ehara i te he o tētahi atu.

Ngā whakaaro hē mō te mate hinengaro i roto i tō tātou hapori

He tokomaha o tātou he whakaaro hē mō te mate hinengaro, koia te take e whakaroa ai te tokomaha pēnei i ahau ki te rapu āwhina. Me titiro tātou ki ēnei whakaaro hē me te pono.

Te Haerenga ki te Whakaora: Ngā Wero me te Ako

He tino uaua tēnei haerenga. He haerenga i tino mamae ai ahau. Ā, he roa rawa te wā i pau. Ko te tawhiti i waenga i te tautuhi mate me te whakaoranga kāore e inehia i roto i ngā wiki, i ngā marama rānei, engari i roto i ngā tau.

Engari i tēnei rā, nā te mahi nui i whakapaua e au ki te mārama ki tōku āhua bipolar me ahau anō, kua tino rangatira ahau i taku haerenga whakaora. Ko te tikanga he nui ake te wā e wātea ana ki ahau inaianei ki te pārekareka ki tōku ao i te noho noa ki tōku mate. Nā tēnei haerenga ahau i ako ahakoa te kaha o tō tātou hinganga, me te āwhina tika me te whakapau kaha, ka taea e tātou te ara ake anō.

Mena kei te pāngia koe e tētahi raruraru hauora hinengaro, e tētahi mea rānei e whakararuraru ana i a koe, kaua e mamae ko koe anake. Kōrero ki tō tākuta . Koinei te āwhina pai rawa atu ka taea e koe te hoatu ki a koe anō.