Le yingongoma ebucayi, kodwa yinto ekufuneka sithethe ngayo. Ukukhulelwa lelinye lawona maxesha amnandi kubomi babasetyhini abaninzi. Kodwa kwabanye abafazi, eli xesha alikho mnandi njengoko becinga. Endaweni yoko, banokuziva besoyika, bexhalabile, kwaye bebuhlungu kulo lonke eli xesha. Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zoku kusenokuba ngamava abuhlungu abawafumanayo besebancinci okanye besebancinci, njengokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo.
Njengoko umzimba wakho utshintsha ngexesha lokukhulelwa, iihomoni ziyatshintsha, kwaye ulungiselela ukuzala, ezo nkumbulo zicinezelweyo zexesha elidlulileyo zinokubuya zivele. Kufana nokuvula kwakhona inxeba elidala. Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyazi kukuba akufuneki ujongane noku wedwa kwaye kukho iindlela zokudlula koku.
Indlela izithunzi ezimnyama zexesha elidlulileyo ezichaphazela ngayo ixesha langoku
Amava anjalo abuhlungu ebuntwaneni anokuchaphazela ubomi bonke bomfazi, ingakumbi kwindlela afumana ngayo unyango. Iingcali zokubelekisa kunye neengcali zezifo zabesifazane abaphanda oku bathi abanye abafazi abaye baba namava anjalo bayoyika nokutyelela ugqirha wezifo zabesifazane. Oku kungenxa yokuba izinto ezifana novavanyo lwesini zibakhumbuza ngamava abuhlungu akudala.
Abanye abafazi baziva bengenathemba ngeli xesha lovavanyo, ngokungathi abazi nto. Yindlela yabo yokuzama 'ukwahlukana' ngengqondo kwangoko. Kwabanye, esi siganeko sidala sibuyela kubo njengefilimu. Oku sikubiza ngokuba "ziinkumbulo zokubuyela umva." Ngelo xesha, banokukhala ngequbuliso, boyike, okanye babe nobundlobongela.
Ngenxa yezi zinto, abanye abafazi bayoyika ukuba nobudlelwane namadoda, nokuba batshate. Nokuba batshatile bonwabileyo, basenokuba mathidala okanye boyike ukulala nabo. Baziva beneentloni kwaye becaphukile ngemizimba yabo.
Ngaba ukukhulelwa yeyona ngxaki inkulu?
Khawucinge ukuba bekuya kuba njani ukuba umntu oye wahlangabezana noku akhulelwe. Njengoko isisu sikhula kwaye iihomoni zitshintsha, ezo nkumbulo zakudala ziqala ukukukhathaza imihla ngemihla. Usenokuziva ngathi awunakuzilawula, unokuziva udandathekile, kwaye ungaziva ungakhuselekanga. Abanye abantu abafuni abanye babone ukuba bakhulelwe, ngoko bazama ukufihla oku ngokunxiba iimpahla ezinkulu nezikhululekileyo.
Kwanobudlelwane besondo namadoda abo bunokuba nzima kakhulu ngeli xesha. Imvakalelo yokuba omnye umntu 'ukhula' esibelekweni aze abe nesondo inokuba nzima kubo. Yinyaniso ukuba ezi mvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha ziqhelekile kubafazi abakhulelweyo abangazange baxhatshazwe. Kodwa kumntu okhe waxhatshazwa ngaphambili, ezi mvakalelo zinzima kakhulu ukuzinyamezela.
Ngokuchanekileyo, le meko ibizwa ngokuba yiPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Oku kunokuphinda kuvele ngexesha lokukhulelwa.
Le meko (PTSD) inokubangela ukuba abanye abafazi babe nesicaphucaphu esigqithisileyo kunye nokuhlanza ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Inokubangela ukuba isibeleko siqale ukushwabana iiveki okanye iinyanga ngaphambi komhla wokuzalwa (ukushwabana kwangaphambi kwexesha).
Olu loyiko alupheli emva kokubeleka. Oomama abaye bajongana namava anjalo badla ngokubakhusela ngokugqithisileyo iintombi zabo, kwaye ukuba banonyana, bangamkrokreli ngokungeyomfuneko yena kunye nabayeni babo.
| Iimvakalelo kunye neempawu ezinokwenzeka | Indlela Ongafumana Ngayo Uncedo |
|---|---|
| Uloyiko olunzulu lokuhlolwa ngugqirha, ingakumbi ukuvavanywa kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane. | Xelela ugqirha wakho ngamava akho angaphambili kwangaphambili ukuze akuqonde aze akuncede uzive ukhululekile. |
| Iinkumbulo zeziganeko zangaphambili kunye noxinzelelo olukhulu. | Kubaluleke kakhulu ukudibana nogqirha/umcebisi othembekileyo uze uthethe ngengqondo. |
| Ukuziva ngathi umzimba wakho awungowakho kumntwana osesiswini, ukuziva ngathi umzimba wakho awungowakhe. | Bhala iimvakalelo zakho kwidayari. Chaza oku kumyeni wakho uze ufumane inkxaso yakhe. |
| Ukoyika kakhulu intlungu yokuzala, ukoyika ukutyhala ngexesha lokubeleka. | Zolisa ingqondo yakho ngokucamngca kunye nokuzilolonga ngokuphefumla. Thetha nogqirha wakho malunga noloyiko lwakho ngaphambi kokuba ubeleke. |
Uhambo lokufumana unyango nentuthuzelo
Oku kusenokuvakala kusoyikisa kuwe. Kodwa iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukukhulelwa akuloxesha lokuphila ngoloyiko lwezi nkumbulo zibuhlungu. Zininzi iindlela zokuphilisa la manxeba eemvakalelo nokufumana uxolo lwengqondo.
Xelela ugqirha wakho inyani: Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Xelela ugqirha wakho wokubeletha malunga nexesha lakho elidlulileyo. Oku kuya kubanceda bakuqonde. Baza kukuchazela uvavanyo ngaphambi kokuba ulwenze, bafumane imvume yakho, baze balwenze ngendlela ekulungeleyo.
Funa ingcebiso: Ukuthetha nomcebisi oqeqeshiweyo kunokukunceda unciphise umthwalo wakho weemvakalelo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba unokufikelela kwezi nkonzo ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakho .
Thetha neqabane lakho: Oku kunokuba nzima. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuxelela umyeni wakho ngeemvakalelo zakho kunye noloyiko lwakho. Nangona kunokuba nzima kuye ukuthetha ngale nto ekuqaleni, xa ekuqonda, uya kukuxhasa kakhulu. Oku kuya kuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Amaqela eNkxaso: Ukuthetha nabanye abafazi abaye baba namava afanayo kunokukunceda uzive ngathi awuwedwa.
Ungalibali, ukukhulelwa kungaba lithuba lokuphilisa amanxeba exesha elidlulileyo. Umzimba wakho odala ubomi obutsha ngummangaliso. Njengoko uyibona loo mmangaliso, uya kuqala ukuziva unebhongo kwaye uwuthande umzimba wakho.
Umzekelo, xa umntwana wakho ekujonga aze ancume ngelixa uncancisa, kwaye xa umntwana eyeka ukukhala xa umphethe, uya kuqonda ukuba umzimba wakho unamandla kwaye uthandwa kangakanani. Loo mvakalelo iya kukunceda ukuba ucime kancinci ezo zithunzi zimnyama zakudala. Usenokungakwazi ukulibala ngokupheleleyo ixesha elidlulileyo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ungaphila nalo, unamandla kwaye unekratshi.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile ngokweemvakalelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa ngenxa yesiganeko esibuhlungu esenzeka kwixesha elidlulileyo, asikuko ukuba unetyala .
- Asinguwe wedwa ojongene nale meko. Baninzi abafazi emhlabeni abaye baba namava afanayo. Awuwedwa .
- Akukho ntloni ukufuna uncedo ngale nto. Linyathelo elinamandla olithathayo.
- Kubalulekile ukuthetha nogqirha wakho kunye neqabane lakho malunga neemvakalelo zakho kunye namava akho angaphambili. Baya kukwazi ukukunceda.
- Ungachacha kule meko ngezinto ezifana neengcebiso, ukucamngca, kunye namaqela enkxaso.
- Ungasebenzisa ukukhulelwa nokuba ngumama njengethuba elixabisekileyo lokuphilisa amanxeba exesha elidlulileyo kwaye ujonge umzimba wakho ngeqhayiya nangothando.
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