Xa ufunyaniswa ukuba unomhlaza, kufana nombane obetha ubomi bakho. Ngephanyazo, yonke into ebesiyiphupha iyajika ibe yimeko engalunganga. Ingqwalasela yethu ikunyango , utyando, kunye namayeza. Kodwa ngasemva kwako konke oku, kukho into esingacingi ngayo, into ehlala isiphula ngaphakathi. Leyo yicala lengqondo lolu hambo. Namhlanje, siza kuthetha ngale mfazwe yeemvakalelo, ngokusekelwe kwibali lentombazana ejongene namava anjalo.
Ubomi batshintsha njani
Eli libali lentombazana egama linguCarissa. Ngaphambi kokuba umhlaza uhlasele, wayefana nam nawe, eneminyaka engamashumi amabini. Wayethembisene umtshato, esebenza kwisalon yobuhle, kwaye ehlala kamnandi nabahlobo bakhe. Wayefudukele kwindlu entsha nesoka lakhe, kwaye wayephupha ngomtshato wakhe. Ubomi babuhamba kakuhle kakhulu.
Ngenye imini xa wayehlamba, weva iqhuma ebeleni lakhe. Xa wayesiya ekliniki, bathi ekubeni wayeneminyaka engama-30 kuphela, yayingeyonto imbi kangako, kwaye ukuba angabuya emva kweenyanga ezi-6, oogqirha babecinga ukuba isenokuba yithumba elinamafutha, i-"(Lipoma)" engenamhlaza.
Kodwa emva kweenyanga ezi-6, waziva ukuba iqhuma liya likhula. Wayengakwazi nokubona ugqirha ngexesha ngenxa ye -COVID-19 . Nangona wayeqala ukuziva esoyika kakhulu, wazixelela ukuba ekubeni wayesemncinci kwaye kungekho mntu kusapho lwakhe onomhlaza, bekungayi kubakho ngxaki.
Ekugqibeleni, ugqirha wathetha waza wamxelela iindaba awayengafuni ukuva. "Unomhlaza." Amagama awanakuchaza ukothuka awakuvayo ngelo xesha. Ukuhamba ngemoto ukuya ekhaya imizuzu emi-5 kwavakala ngathi yinto engapheliyo. Wayecinga ngomtshato wakhe, xa ngequbuliso wafumanisa ukuba unohlobo lomhlaza webele olubizwa ngokuba yi-`(Stage II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)`.
"Kutheni oku kwenzeke kum? Ndingumntu olungileyo. Ndinceda wonke umntu. Kutheni oku kwenzeke kum?" Lo mbuzo wawuphinda engqondweni yakhe.
Eyona ngxaki inkulu kuye yayikukuba wayejongene nayo yonke le nto eneminyaka yakhe. Xa wayeqala unyango lwe-chemotherapy , abanye abantu ababeza kunyangwa yayingabafazi abakwiminyaka yabo yama-50, ama-60, nama-70. Wayengoyena mntu mncinci kwigumbi. Bamjonga ngathi, 'Wenza ntoni lo mntwana apha?' Wayezibuza into efanayo.
Ezo ntsuku zadlula njengephupha.
Emva kokuqala unyango, ndaziva ndingenamdla. Kwakungathi ndizijonga ndingaphandle komzimba wam. Kwakukho unyango oluqhubekayo, utyando, amayeza... oogqirha babendifundisa ngamayeza, ukuba kufuneka ndiye kwiiklasi, ukundinika izinto zokufunda, kunye nezinto ezininzi ekufanele ndizenzele ixesha lazo. Konke oku kwenzeke ngexesha le-COVID-19, ngoko ke kwafuneka ndenze yonke into ndedwa.
Ngokutsho kukaCarissa, ngelo xesha wayengenazo iimvakalelo konke konke. Njengerobhothi.
Ezinye iingxaki ezidibene nazo ngexesha lonyango
- Ukucinga ngabantwana: Ngaphambi kokuba aqalise i-chemo, wayeqandisile amaqanda akhe kuba wayengenakukwazi ukuphulukana nethuba lokuba nomntwana kwixesha elizayo. Inkqubo ye-IVF, kunye nokugonywa rhoqo awayefanele akwenze kwisoka lakhe, kwakungumthwalo omkhulu.
- Ukulahleka kweenwele: Njengabafazi abaninzi, uCarissa wakufumanisa kunzima ukulahlekelwa ziinwele zakhe. Njengogqirha weenwele, wayezingca ngeenwele zakhe ezinde neziqinileyo. Xa iinwele zakhe zaqala ukuqhekeka zibe ziingceba, wayesazi ukuba lixesha lokuba azinqumle. Xa isoka lakhe lazicheba intloko, waziva efuna ukuyeka ukukhala. Ngelixa wayecwangcisa umtshato, waqonda ukuba kuya kuba nzima kangakanani ukuthenga iilokhwe zomtshato ngaphandle kweenwele.
Indlela yokujongana nale mihla inzima
Xa ukungakwazi ukuzibamba esasinako ngexesha lonyango kwaphela, kwaba lusizi olukhulu. Xa sifumana unyango, sikwimeko "yokusinda". Kuphela xa loo nkqubo iphelile, lixesha lokucinga ngento esilahlekelwe yiyo. Kufana nokuba sizila ubomi bethu obudala.
Kodwa uCarissa wayeyiqonda ingcinezelo. Ngoku ubonana nogqirha wengqondo kwaye ulilungu leqela lenkxaso elinabantu abanamava. Usapho kunye nabahlobo ngabona mandla akhe amakhulu.
Eyona nto imangalisayo yinkxaso endayifumana kubantu endingabaziyo endingazange ndibabone. "Into enye endiyifundiswe ngumhlaza kukuyeka ukuzama ukukholisa abanye abantu. Ndifunde ukuba akuphosakele ukucinga ngeemfuno zam nokwamkela uncedo oluvela kwabanye."
Ngoku usebenzisa unyango lweehomoni. Luneziphumo ebezingalindelekanga. Ubushushu obugqithisileyo, utshintsho lweemvakalelo, kunye nokungalali. Kusekho iintsuku apho ekhala kwigumbi lokuhlambela. Kodwa ufunda ukuphila usuku ngalunye ngexesha. Ukumamela ingoma emnandi, ukuthetha nomhlobo, kunye nokucwangcisa umtshato wakhe wexesha elizayo kumenza abe novuyo.
"Oku kunzima, kodwa ndisoloko ndizama ukucinga ngendlela elungileyo. Kuba ndiyazi ukuba loo ndlela yokucinga yeyona nto ibalulekileyo."
| Umngeni weemvakalelo | Indlela evakalelwa ngayo | Iindlela eziphilileyo zokujongana neengxaki |
|---|---|---|
| Ukothuka kunye nokukhanyela | Iimvakalelo ezinje "Oku akunakwenzeka kum", "Kutheni kum?". Imvakalelo yokungakwazi ukucinga nantoni na. | Thetha nomntu omthembayo. Buza ugqirha wakho imibuzo ukuqinisekisa ukuba uyayiqonda imeko. |
| Ukungabi nangqondo ngexesha lonyango | Ukuziva ungenazo iimvakalelo. Ukuziva ujongwa ngaphandle komzimba wakho. | Cinga nje ngosuku olunye ngexesha. Musa ukuzama ukulawula yonke into ngaxeshanye. Yonwabela izinto ezincinci. |
| Usizi kunye nosizi | Ukuziva ulusizi ngobomi bakudala obalahlekileyo emva konyango. Usizi olubangelwa zizinto ezifana nokulahlekelwa ziinwele. | Yamkela ukuba ukuziva ulusizi kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Bonana nomcebisi okanye ujoyine iqela lenkxaso. |
| Ithemba kunye nokuqhubeka phambili | Kukho imihla emihle nemihla emibi. Ukuceba ikamva kukwenza wonwabe. | Zinike ixesha lezinto ozithandayo. Ungoyiki ukucela uncedo kwabanye. Ziqhelise ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo. |
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Unyango lomhlaza ludabi lomzimba kunye nedabi elikhulu lengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuzilungiselela zombini ezi meko.
- Kuqhelekile ngokupheleleyo ukuziva iimvakalelo ezinje ngokothuka, uloyiko, usizi, umsindo, kunye nokuziva ungenathemba. Zivumele ukuba uzive iimvakalelo zakho.
- Musa ukuzama ukuhamba wedwa kolu hambo. Fumana uncedo kusapho, kubahlobo, kwaye ukuba kuyimfuneko, ufumane ingcali (njengomcebisi). Ngamandla, hayi ubuthathaka.
- Akuphosakele ukulila ngenxa yobomi bakho obudala. Loo ntlungu iya kukunceda uqhubeke nenyaniso yakho entsha.
- Gxila kwizinto onokuzilawula. Zithathele ingqalelo imini nganye. Cinga ngempilo yakho yengqondo kanye njengempilo yakho yomzimba.
- Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo udlula kule meko, thetha ngempilo yakhe yengqondo, kwaye ukuba kuyimfuneko, mthumele kugqirha ukuze afumane uncedo.
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