Ngaba ucinga ukuba ukudakumba kuchaphazela wonke umntu ngendlela efanayo? Akunjalo ngokwenene. Kufana nomkhuhlane oqhelekileyo obangelwa yintsholongwane efanayo, kodwa uchaphazela wonke umntu ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Amadoda, abafazi, kunye nabantu abadala banokuhlangabezana nokudakumba ngendlela eyahlukileyo, kwaye iimpawu zinokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho neemeko zokudakumba ezingaphenduliyo kumayeza. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba wena kunye nabantu obathandayo niqonde oku.
Okokuqala, yintoni ukudakumba?
Ukudakumba akusiyo nje imvakalelo yosizi okanye ukukruquka. Sisifo sengqondo esinzulu ngakumbi nesinzulu ngakumbi . Ngokuchanekileyo, yimeko echaphazela iimvakalelo zomntu ixesha elide. Ingakhokelela kusizi olunganyamezelekiyo, ukuphelelwa lithemba, ukungabi nakuzinceda, kunye neemvakalelo zokungabi naxabiso.
Le meko inokubakho ngamanqanaba ahlukeneyo. Kwabanye abantu, incinci ukuya kwephakathi. Kwabanye, inokuba luxinzelelo olukhulu ubomi bonke.
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba ukudakumba akubobuthathaka, kodwa sisifo esifuna unyango.
Makhe sijonge umahluko phakathi kwezi zimbini.
| Inqanaba lokudakumba | Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo |
|---|---|
| Uxinzelelo oluPhantsi ukuya koluPhakathi | Ukungabi namdla kuyo nayiphi na into, ukuphelelwa ngumdla wokutya, ubunzima bokulala, ukungabi naxabiso, kunye nokuziva udiniwe rhoqo. |
| Uxinzelelo Olukhulu | Imo yosizi ehlala ixesha elide imini yonke, ukuphelelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla, ukwehla okanye ukunyuka kobunzima ngequbuliso, ukungalali okanye ukulala kakhulu (hypersomnia), ukudinwa kakhulu, ukuziva unetyala rhoqo, kunye neengcinga zokuphelisa ubomi bakho. |
Amadoda afumana njani uxinzelelo?
Kusekho ingcamango ephosakeleyo kuluntu lwethu yokuba "ukudandatheka sisifo sabasetyhini." Ngenxa yeengcinga ezifana nokuthi "amadoda akakhali" kunye "namadoda kufuneka abe namandla," amadoda amaninzi ayathandabuza ukuvuma ukuba anesifo sokudakumba okanye ukuthetha ngaso. Kodwa inyani yile, izigidi zamadoda kwihlabathi liphela zihlushwa sesi sifo.
Nangona amadoda efumana iimpawu zokudakumba ezifanayo nezabasetyhini, indlela abazibonakalisa ngayo ezo mpawu yahlukile kakhulu.
Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo phakathi kwamadoda
- Ukungakhathali (ukungabi namdla kuyo yonke into)
- Utshintsho ekutyeni (ukutya okuninzi ngaxeshanye okanye ukungafuni ukutya)
- Ukudinwa rhoqo
- Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kwizinto obukade uzonwabela (umz., ezemidlalo, izinto ozithandayo)
- Ukuba nokuzithemba okuphantsi
- Iingxaki zesondo (ukulahlekelwa ngumnqweno, iingxaki zokusebenza)
- Utshintsho kwindlela yokulala (ukungalali okanye ukozela kakhulu)
- Iingcinga malunga nokuphelisa ubomi bakho
Umahluko obalulekileyo ngulo: Xa umfazi edandathekile, usenokuba lusizi, abe neemvakalelo, aze akhale kakhulu. Kodwa xa indoda idandathekile, isenokubonakala inomsindo, irhabaxa, kwaye idla ngokulwa. Ngoko ke, ukuba utata wakho, umnakwenu, umyeni wakho, okanye umhlobo wakho ngequbuliso uba nomsindo kakhulu, cinga ukuba oko kunokuba luphawu lokudakumba.
Ngaba kukho umahluko kwindlela uxinezeleko oluchaphazela ngayo abafazi?
Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo. Enyanisweni, abafazi banamathuba aphindwe kabini okuba noxinzelelo kunamadoda. Kwaye indlela uxinezeleko oluchaphazela ngayo abafazi yahlukile kancinci.
- Abafazi banamathuba amaninzi okuba noxinzelelo luqale besebancinci, luhlale ixesha elide, luze luphinde lubuye .
- Ukudakumba kwabasetyhini kunokwenzeka ukuba kunxulunyaniswe neziganeko zobomi ezixinzelelekileyo (umz., ukuqhekeka kobudlelwane, ukulahleka kwemisebenzi).
- Abafazi banokuba netyala xa bexinezelekile.
- Abafazi banamathuba amaninzi okuba nezinye iingxaki zempilo yengqondo, ezinje ngeengxaki zokuxhalaba, iimpawu zokungathandi ukutya, kunye neengxaki zokutya, kunye nokudakumba.
- Nangona kunjalo, umkhwa wokusebenzisa utywala neziyobisi kunye nokudakumba uphezulu kumadoda kunabafazi.
Ngaba ukudakumba kuqhelekile kubantu abadala?
Hayi suka! Kulapho abantu abaninzi benza khona impazamo. Ukudakumba akuyonto iqhelekileyo yokwaluphala. Kodwa ukudakumba kuxhaphake kakhulu kubantu abadala. Ngelishwa, bambalwa kakhulu kubo abafuna unyango.
Khawucinge nje, xa omnye woomakhulu okanye ootatomkhulu bethu eqala ukucinga kancinci, angathethi kakhulu, aze ahlale endlwini, sihlala sicinga, "Owu... kudala oko." Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba oko kungaba luphawu lokudakumba.
Kutheni kunzima ukuqaphela ukudakumba kubantu abadala?
- Iimpawu zokudakumba zinokubhidaniswa neempawu zezinye izifo kubantu abadala, ezifana nesifo seswekile nesifo sentliziyo.
- Ekubeni ezi mpawu zikwavela njengemiphumo emibi yamayeza asetyenziswa kwezo zifo, ukudakumba kunokuphetshwa.
- Ubulolo obubangelwa zizinto ezinje ngokusweleka kweqabane lobomi bonke , ukulahlekelwa ngabahlobo, kunye nomhlalaphantsi nazo zezinye zezizathu zoku.
- Ngenxa yokuba amalungu osapho, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha noogqirha, bacinga ukuba, "Kunjalo kanye xa ukhula," unyango olufanelekileyo luyalibaziseka.
Ngoko ke ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela umntu omdala aziphatha ngayo okanye athetha ngayo kusapho lwakho, musa ukulithatha njengento “efana nendlela akhula ngayo.” Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukhathazeke ngaloo nto uze uthethe nogqirha.
Ngaba kukho ukudakumba okunganyangekiyo ngonyango?
Ewe, kukho imeko enjalo. Oku kubizwa ngokuba kukudandatheka okunganyangekiyo ngonyango . Ngamafutshane, kuxa iimpawu zingaphucuki nangona ugqirha enika amayeza okudakumba okanye i-psychotherapy.
Xa kungekho siqabu nangona kusetyenziswa iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zamayeza kunye neendlela ezahlukeneyo zokunika iingcebiso, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba isigulana kunye nosapho bazive bedanile kwaye bephelelwe lithemba.
Kodwa, ungaze ulahle ithemba. Ukuba wena okanye umntu osondeleyo kuwe unale meko, akuthethi ukuba yonke into iphelile. Kukho ezinye iindlela ezithile zokunyanga ezi meko. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukusebenza nogqirha wakho kwaye ungayeki. Emva koko uya kukwazi ukufumana unyango olukufaneleyo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukudakumba akuyonto nje yokudakumba, kodwa sisifo sokwenyani esifuna unyango.
- Esi sifo sichaphazela amadoda, abafazi kunye nabantu abadala ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Amadoda anokuba nomsindo kunokuba abe lusizi.
- Musa ukuyityeshela into yokuba utshintsho kwindlela umntu omdala aziphethe ngayo “lufana nendlela akhula ngayo.” Isenokuba luphawu lokudakumba.
- Nokuba unyango lokuqala alusebenzi, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba. Zikhona ezinye iindlela zonyango ezikhoyo.
- Okubaluleke kakhulu: Ukuba wena okanye umntu osondeleyo kuwe unezi mpawu, funa ingcebiso kagqirha ngokukhawuleza.
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