Ngaba nawe uziva ungakhululekanga xa uye kugqirha kwaye ungakwazi ukubaxelela yonke into esengqondweni yakho? Ngamanye amaxesha awukwazi ukuthemba oko kuthethwa ngugqirha ngokupheleleyo, kwaye uzive usoyika kancinci? Ukuba uziva ngaloo ndlela, ayinguwe wedwa. Abantu abaninzi eSri Lanka nakwihlabathi liphela bajongana nale meko. Ukuthembana phakathi kogqirha nesigulana kubaluleke kakhulu kubomi obusempilweni. Namhlanje, masithethe ngesizathu sokuba olu hlobo lokungathembani luvele, kunye nento esinokuyenza ukuguqula le meko.
Kutheni kukho ukungathembani okungaka?
Abantu banokuba nezizathu ezahlukeneyo zokungamthembi ugqirha, isibhedlele, okanye yonke inkqubo yezempilo. Oku akuyonto eyenzeka ngephanyazo.
Ngamafutshane, ubudlelwane phakathi kogqirha nesigulana bubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuba uyamthemba ugqirha wakho, uza kuthetha ngokukhululekileyo ngezifo zakho kunye neengxaki ezisengqondweni yakho ngaphandle kokuthandabuza. Uza kulandela iingcebiso nonyango lukagqirha ngqo. Kodwa xa oku kuthembana kulahlekile, kwenzeka okwahlukileyo. Abantu bayakuphepha ukuya koogqirha. Bade bangayi kunyango lokuthintela kunye nokuhlolwa kunye nokuhlolwa kwempilo. Ngenxa yoko, izifo ezinzulu ziyaphoswa kwangethuba kwaye unyango kufuneka luqalwe emva kokuba isifo sibi kakhulu.
Kwamanye amazwe kwihlabathi liphela, bekukho iziganeko ngaphambili apho amaqela athile abantu aye asetyenziswa ngenkani kuphando lwezonyango ngaphandle kolwazi lwabo. Umzekelo, iziganeko ezifana neTuskegee Syphilis Study eMelika kunye nebali likaHenrietta Lacks zidale ukungathembani okukhulu kwinkqubo yezonyango kangangezizukulwana kwezo ndawo. Nangona ezi zingezoziganeko kwilizwe lethu, ezo ziganeko zinokuphakamisa amathandabuzo malunga nenkqubo yezonyango kwihlabathi liphela.
Izizathu eziqhelekileyo ezichaphazela imeko kwilizwe lethu
Kukho izizathu ezininzi ezisebenzayo zokungathembani kweli lizwe lethu:
- Ugqirha akanalo ixesha lokuthetha: Kwi-OPD yesibhedlele sikarhulumente, kunye nakwezinye iinkonzo zejelo zabucala, kukho inani elikhulu lezigulana, ngoko ke ixesha ugqirha anokulinika isigulana esinye lincinci kakhulu. Ngenxa yoku, isigulana asifumani xesha lokumamela yonke into esengqondweni yaso nokucacisa imibuzo yaso. Emva koko sinokuziva ngathi, "Ugqirha akaphulaphulanga into endiyithethileyo."
- Iingxaki zonxibelelwano: Ngamanye amaxesha amagama ezonyango asetyenziswa ngoogqirha kunzima ukuwaqonda kumntu oqhelekileyo. Kwakhona, kunokubakho imiqobo yolwimi. Oku kuthintela ukusekwa kobudlelwane obuhle phakathi kwesigulana nogqirha.
- Amava amabi: Amava amabi nesibhedlele okanye ugqirha (umz., ukuxilongwa gwenxa, iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zonyango, iimpendulo ezimbi ezivela kubasebenzi) zinokubangela ukungathembi yonke inkqubo.
- Ucalucalulo:Ezinye izigulane zinokuvakalelwa kukuba ziphathwa ngendlela eyahlukileyo ngenxa yesimo sazo sentlalo, imeko yazo yezoqoqosho, indlela yokunxiba, okanye uhlanga/inkolo. Oku kunokutshabalalisa ngokupheleleyo ukuthembana.
| Izinto ezinokubangela ukungathembani | Yintoni enokwenziwa ukwakha ukuthembana? |
|---|---|
| Ukungabi naxesha laneleyo lokuthetha nogqirha . | Bhala phantsi imibuzo ofuna ukuyibuza kwangaphambili. |
| Ubunzima bokuqonda amagama ezonyango asetyenzisiweyo. | Ukuba awuqondi, buza kwakhona, "Gqirha, ungandicacisela loo nto ngokulula?" |
| Ukuziva ngathi izimvo zakho aziphulaphulwa. | Ukuveza izimvo zakho kunye noloyiko lwakho ngokucacileyo nangokuzolileyo. |
| Amava amabi kuwe okanye kumhlobo wakho kwixesha elidlulileyo. | Ukuba kuyimfuneko, funa uluvo lwesibini komnye ugqirha. |
Uyivuselela njani le ntembeko?
Oku kufuneka kwenzeke kumacala omabini. Kukho izinto thina, njengabasebenzi bezempilo nanjengezigulane, esinokuzenza ngenxa yoku.
Oko oogqirha kunye nenkqubo yezempilo banokukwenza:
1. Ukumamela isigulana: Kubalulekile ukumamela ngononophelo oko isigulana sikuthethayo nokuzama ukuqonda uloyiko kunye namathandabuzo aso. "Amadoda amnyama kufuneka abandakanyeke kwincoko kunokuba ashunyayezwe," utshilo uNjingalwazi uKean Gilbert. Oku kuqhelekile kubo bonke abaguli. Kubalulekile ukwenza isigulana sizive ngathi siyinxalenye yale nkqubo yokwenza izigqibo.
2. Ukwazisa ngeNkcubeko:Indlela abantu abajonga ngayo izifo kunye nonyango inokwahluka kwiinkcubeko nakwiindawo ezihlala kuzo. Ukuqeqesha oogqirha ukuba baqonde kwaye bajongane nokwahlukahlukana kwabo kunceda kakhulu ekwakheni ukuthembana.
3. Ukufikelela kuluntu: Endaweni yokulinda utyelelo esibhedlele, unokufumana ukuthenjwa ngabantu ngokwenza iinkqubo zempilo kuluntu. Umzekelo, iikliniki zempilo kunye neenkqubo zokwazisa eziqhutyelwa kwiitempile, iicawa, iitempile, okanye iiholo zoluntu zakha ubudlelwane obuhle phakathi koogqirha noluntu.
4. Unyango oluhambelanayo: Ukusebenzisa iteknoloji ukuthetha nogqirha ekhaya kunokuba ngamava alula kwaye angoyikisiyo kwabanye abantu kunokuya esibhedlele. Oku kunokusondeza izigulana kwinkonzo yezempilo.
Oko unokukwenza njengesigulana:
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba ningabalingani abalinganayo ekwenzeni izigqibo malunga nempilo yenu.
- Musa ukoyika ukubuza imibuzo: Ukuba kukho into ongayiqondiyo okanye ukuba unamathandabuzo malunga nonyango, buza ugqirha wakho. Lilungelo lakho ukubuza imibuzo efana nale, "Gqirha, kuza kwenzeka ntoni ngale mithi?" okanye "Ngaba kukho ezinye iindlela zokwenza oku?"
- Zilungiselele: Ngaphambi kokuba uye kugqirha, bhala phantsi iimpawu zakho kunye nemibuzo ofuna ukuyibuza. Oku kuya kukunceda ulisebenzise kakuhle ixesha lakho elilinganiselweyo.
- Yazi amalungelo akho: Ukuba awuqinisekanga ngonyango, unelungelo lokulwala. Ungathi, "Ndifuna ukuphinda ndicinge ngale nto," okanye ungafumana uluvo lomnye ugqirha.
- Khetha ugqirha omthembayo: Ukuba kunokwenzeka, khetha ugqirha onokuthetha naye kakuhle, okumamelayo, nokuhloniphayo njengogqirha wosapho lwakho. Abanye abantu banokukufumanisa kulula ukuthetha nogqirha wohlanga lwabo, unqulo lwabo, okanye isini sabo.
Ekugqibeleni, ukuthembana phakathi kogqirha nesigulana sisiseko soluntu oluphilileyo. Omabini amaqela kufuneka azame ukulungisa nokwakha kwakhona oku kuthembana apho kuphuke khona.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuthembana phakathi kogqirha nesigulana kubalulekile ukuze unyango luphumelele.
- Ukungathembani kunokubangelwa ziingxaki zonxibelelwano, amava amabi, kunye nokungabi naxesha laneleyo.
- Njengesigulana, unelungelo lokubuza imibuzo, ukwaziswa, kwaye uthathe inxaxheba kwizigqibo zonyango.
- Ukulungiselela ngaphambi kokuba ugqirha wakho adibane naye (njengokubhala imibuzo) kunokukunceda ulisebenzise kakuhle ixesha lakho elilinganiselweyo.
- Ukuba unamathandabuzo malunga nonyango lwakho, ungathandabuzi ukufuna uluvo lwesibini komnye ugqirha.
- Impilo yakho isezandleni zakho. Ungaze ulibale ukuba nguwe oyena mlingane wayo ubalulekileyo.
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