Xa ugqirha wakho ekuxelela ukuba unesifo sokudakumba, izinto ezininzi zinokufika engqondweni yakho. Usenokuziva ngathi umthwalo omkhulu ususiwe emagxeni akho. Abanye banokuziva belusizi okanye benomsindo. Abanye banokuziva bekhululekile, becinga, "Owu, ndiyavuya ukuba ndifumene ukuba kwenzeka ntoni." Nokuba le mvakalelo injani, iqhelekile. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba awuwedwa kolu hambo. Makhe sithethe ngale nto ngokweenkcukacha ezithe vetshe .
Kutheni le nto olu xilongo lunzima kangaka?
Abantu basabela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kolu xilongo. Kufana namacala amabini eengqekembe ezifanayo.
Ukukhululeka okuviwe ngabanye
Kwabanye abantu, oku kuyanceda kakhulu. Khawuthelekelele ufumana impendulo kwingxaki obungasifumani isizathu ixesha elide. Ucinga, "Owu... bendisoloko ndihlupheka ngenxa yesi sifo, asilotyala lam." Xa ufumanisa ukuba esi sisifo esinyangekayo, uziva unethemba ngekamva. Yimvakalelo efanelekileyo kakhulu.
Intloni kunye noloyiko abanye abantu abaluvayo
Nangona kunjalo, abantu abaninzi bayasokola ngolu hlobo lokuxilongwa. Imibuzo efana nale, "Ngaba ndidandathekile? Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ndibuthathaka? Ngaba kukho into engalunganga ngobuntu bam?" izalisa iingqondo zabo.
Uluntu lwethu lusabona imiba yempilo yengqondo ngendlela eyahlukileyo kancinci. Usenokuba ukhe weva izinto ezinje, "Sisifo sengqondo nje," "Cinga kakhulu," kunye "Musa ukuba livila wenze into ethile." Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu abadala kunye nabazali ekhaya abafuni ukuzamkela ezi njengezifo. Banokuthi, "Besingenazo ezi zifo ngexesha lethu, kwaye ukuba usebenza nzima kwaye usebenza nzima, ziya kuba ngcono." Ngenxa yoko, akumangalisi ukuba abantu bazive beneentloni, benetyala, kwaye bebodwa xa befumanisa ukuba banesifo sengqondo.
Ukudakumba akubobuthathaka, yimeko yempilo!
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule kukuba ukudakumba akubobuthathaka bobuntu bakho, ubuntu bakho, okanye ubukrelekrele bakho. Yimeko yempilo epheleleyo .
Ukuchaneka, oku kunxulumene notshintsho oluthile kwiikhemikhali ze-neurotransmitters engqondweni yethu. Njengesifo seswekile kunye noxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu. Ke ngoko, kubaluleke kakhulu ukukwazi oku ngokuchanekileyo.
Ungathetha nogqirha wakho ngale nto. Kwakhona, yandisa ulwazi lwakho ngokufunda ngale nto kwiwebhusayithi ezinolwazi oluthembekileyo lwezonyango. Oku kuya kukunceda ulahle iintsomi kunye neengcinga ezingalunganga ezikhoyo kuloo luntu. Wakuba ukwazi oku, ungakuchazela nabantu obathandayo oku.
Ndicela uncedo kubani?
Akulunganga ukuba wedwa xa ulwa nokudakumba. Sidinga inkxaso enamandla, unxibelelwano oluhle phakathi kwabantu. Ngoko ke, makhe sijonge ezinye iindawo apho unokucela khona uncedo.
| Iindlela zokufumana inkxaso | Oko ufumanayo noko ukwenzayo |
|---|---|
| Usapho kunye nabahlobo | Ukuba nosapho nabahlobo abayiqondayo imeko yakho lulutho olukhulu. Baxelele into ojongene nayo. Mhlawumbi ukudakumba kwakho kukwenza uzive unomsindo kwaye udanile. Xa ubaxelela isizathu sokwenyani, baya kukwazi ukukuqonda kwaye bakuncede ngonyango lwakho. |
| Cacisa xa ucela uncedo. | Endaweni yokuthi "Ndifuna uncedo" ngokubanzi, cacisa into oyifunayo. Umzekelo, yithi, "Kungangcono ukuba ungandiphulaphula xa ndithetha, endaweni yokusoloko undifowunela undibuza ukuba ndinjani." Okanye, cela uncedo oluthile, njengokuthi, "Andifuni ukupheka kule mihla, ungandenzela ukutya kosuku olunye okanye ezimbini?" |
| Amaqela eNkxaso | Le yindawo entle yokudibana nabantu abaye baba namava afana nawe. Kumnandi ukwazi ukuba awuwedwa. Ukuva ngendlela abanye abaye boyisa ngayo le meko kunokukunika izimvo ezintsha nethemba. |
| Iindawo zonqulo kunye neenkokheli zoluntu | Ukuba ungumntu othanda unqulo, ungacela intuthuzelo kunye nolwalathiso kwindawo yakho yonqulo kunye neenkokheli zayo. Amanye amaziko onqulo anikezela neenkonzo zokunika iingcebiso. |
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba usapho okanye abahlobo bakho luhlobo lwabantu abahlekisa okanye abangazinakiyo ezo zinto, ungazama ukubafundisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ikwenza uzive udandathekile nangakumbi, kububulumko ukungalindeli inkxaso eninzi kubo kwaye ufune uncedo kwenye indawo.
Izinto onokuzenza ngokwakho
Ukongeza ekuncedeni abanye, zininzi izinto onokuzenzela zona eziya kuba yinkxaso enkulu kuhambo lwakho lokuchacha.
Zibandakanye kwinto enentsingiselo.
Ukubandakanyeka kwinto ekunika intsingiselo nenjongo, njengokuzithandela , kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kwimpilo-ntle yakho. Ukunceda abanye nokudibana nabantu abatsha kunokunceda ukunciphisa ezinye zeempawu zokudakumba.
Yenza umthambo.
Ukuzilolonga komzimba yenye yezona ndlela zinamandla zendalo zokunyanga ukudakumba. Ukuhamba kancinci, ukubaleka, okanye ukuya ejimini yonke imihla kunokuba yindlela entle yokuphucula imvakalelo yakho nomzimba wakho. Xa uzilolonga, umzimba wakho ukhupha iikhemikhali ezikwenza uzive ungcono. Kwakhona, ijimu okanye iqela lezemidlalo yindawo entle yokwenza unxibelelwano olutsha noluntu.
Sebenza ngokusondeleyo nogqirha wakho.
Ngaphezu kwako konke, kubalulekile ukuhlala unxibelelana nogqirha wakho rhoqo . Mbuze malunga nonyango olufanelekileyo kuwe kunye notshintsho ekufuneka ulwenze kwindlela ophila ngayo.
- Sela amayeza akho owanikwe ngugqirha kanye njengoko uyalelwe, ngexesha elifanelekileyo.
- Ukuba ufumana naziphi na iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga, yazisa ugqirha wakho.
- Thetha ngokukhululekileyo ngotshintsho olukwimeko yakho yengqondo.
Khumbula, zininzi izinto ezibangela ukudakumba. Oko kuthetha ukuba zininzi iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokukunyanga. Ugqirha wakho uya kukwazi ukukunceda ufumane unyango olukulungeleyo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukudakumba akuyongxaki yakho okanye ubuthathaka bakho. Yimeko yezonyango enokunyangeka.
- Xa ufunda ngale nto, ungaziva ulusizi, uhlazekile, unomsindo, kwanokukhululeka. Zonke ezi mvakalelo ziqhelekile.
- Thetha nosapho kunye nabahlobo abakuqondayo ngale nto. Bacele uncedo oluthe ngqo olufunayo.
- Amaqela enkxaso, umsebenzi wokuzithandela, kunye nokuzilolonga ngokomzimba kunokuba luncedo olukhulu kuhambo lwakho lokuchacha.
- Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukusebenzisana ngokusondeleyo nogqirha wakho kwaye ulandele unyango oluchaziweyo ngokuchanekileyo. Awuwedwa kweli dabi.
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