Uyoyika ukuba nomntwana wakho uza kusebenzisa iziyobisi? Masithethe ngale ngozi iyingozi (Iziyobisi)!

Xa sicinga ngabantwana bethu kule mihla, eyona nto ixhalabisayo kukuba le yingxaki yeziyobisi. Akunjalo? Kuyoyikisa kakhulu ukucinga ngayo ngamanye amaxesha. Ngoko ke singabasindisa njani abantwana bethu koku? Eyona ndlela ilungileyo nesebenzayo yokwenza oko kukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyanisekileyo nabantwana bethu ngayo kwasebuntwaneni. Makhe sibone indlela yokwenza kanye loo nto.

Kutheni sifanele sithethe nabantwana bethu ngeziyobisi?

Ngamafutshane, ukuba sifundisa abantwana bethu inyaniso ngezi ziyobisi kunye neengozi zazo ngaphambi kokuba bajongane nazo naziphi na iimeko eziyingozi, kuya kuba luncedo olukhulu ekubasindiseni kwingozi enkulu. Emva koko abayi kuzama nje iziyobisi , kwaye abayi kumamela abahlobo babo baze bafake ulwazi olungalunganga ezingqondweni zabo. Cinga ngako, ungumzekelo omkhulu kumntwana wakho. "Uliqhawe" lakhe. Ngoko ke indlela ocinga ngayo ngotywala, icuba, kunye neziyobisi, indlela ozijonga ngayo, ichaphazela ngokuthe ngqo indlela umntwana wakho acinga ngayo ngazo, kunye nendlela asabela ngayo kuzo. Ke ngoko, xa uhlala uthetha nomntwana wakho ngezinto ezifana nempilo, ukhuseleko, kunye nemikhwa emihle, kubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza ukuthetha ngezi ziyobisi kube yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yazo.

Uthetha njani nomntwana omncinci ngeziyobisi?

Nokuba umntwana wakho usemncinci, eneminyaka emi-5 okanye emi-6 ubudala, kukho amathuba amaninzi okuthetha ngale nto. Siyibiza ngokuba "ngamaxesha okufundiswa." Khawuthelekelele, xa nibukele iTV kunye njengentsapho, ukuba ubona umlinganiswa kwikhathuni okanye kwimuvi etshaya icuba, elo lixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha ngokutshaya. Xela into elula efana nale, "Nyana, jonga umalume etshaya icuba. Uyazi ukuba libi kangakanani emzimbeni wakho? Likwenza ukhohlele kwaye lenze isifuba sakho sibe buhlungu." Emva koko, ungayisa elo bali kwezinye iziyobisi, kwaye uchaze ukuba ziyingozi kangakanani kwaye ziyingozi kangakanani emzimbeni wakho.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba xa uthetha, kufuneka uthethe ngokuzolileyo, ngobubele, nangothando . Sebenzisa amagama alula aqondakalayo umntwana. Thetha izinto ezinje, "Ezi azilungelanga umzimba, nyana/ntombi. Xa sizithatha, imizimba yethu iyagula, siba buthathaka, kwaye asikwazi ukudlala." Cacisa ukuba iziyobisi ziyingozi kakhulu, kwaye zinokubangela iingxaki ezininzi kungekuphela nje emzimbeni, kodwa nakwiingqondo zethu. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, ukuba umntu uzama ukumnika into eyingozi okanye angayiqhelanga ayaziyo, mfundise ukwala ngokuthi, 'Andiyifuni!' uze uhambe. Oko kubaluleke kakhulu. Cinga ngayo, ukuba yinto yokudlala, ukuba umntu ongamaziyo uyinika, kufana nokuthi, "Owu, andiyifuni, umama/utata uthe hayi."

Izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule xa uthetha nomntwana ophakathi kweminyaka eyi-8 ukuya kweli-12 ubudala

Njengoko abantwana bekhula, phakathi kweminyaka esi-8 neli-12, kusenokwenzeka ukuba beve into ethile malunga neziyobisi. Esikolweni, kubahlobo, eklasini, okanye kwiTV, okanye kwi-Intanethi. Ngoko ke, xa uqala incoko, buza, 'Nyana/ntombi, uve ntoni malunga neziyobisi, malunga neziyobisi, malunga ne-marijuana? Bathini abahlobo bakho?' Kodwa xa ubuza , musa ukubuza ngendlela egwebayo okanye ekrokrisayo .. Musa ukumoyikisa okanye ukumoyikisa ngokumbuza imibuzo efana nokuthi 'Kutheni ubuze loo nto?', 'Ngubani okuxelele loo nto?'. Mbuze ngokuzola, ngokukhululekileyo, kwaye ngokungathi ungumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Kulapho aya kukwazi ukukuxelela inyani aze abelane nawe ngoko akucingayo.

Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba umamele ngononophelo oko akutshoyo. Kufuneka azi ukuba unomdla kwimibuzo yakhe, uloyiko lwakhe, kunye nomdla wokwazi. Kusenokufuneka wenze uphando nokufunda ukuze uphendule imibuzo yakhe kwaye unike ulwazi oluyinyani. Kulungile, kubalulekile. Abantwana abakule minyaka (8-12 ubudala) badla ngokufuna ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo ngemiba ebucayi nabazali babo, kwaye bayayidinga loo nto. Ngoko ke, ukuthetha ngale nto ngoku kuya kunceda ukuba avulekele ukuba abelane nawe ngoko akucingayo xa emdala kancinci, oko kukuthi, umntu omdala oselula .

Khawucinge nje, ukuba iphephandaba okanye ingxelo yeendaba ithi abadlali abadumileyo babanjwe besebenzisa izinto ezingavumelekanga ezifana ne-`(Steroids),' ungayisebenzisa loo nto njengethuba elihle lokuqala incoko. Ngaloo nto, ungamxelela umntwana wakho ngeengozi zeziyobisi kunye nemiphumo emibi ezinokubangela. Ungatsho izinto ezinje, 'Khangela, nyana/ntombi, kwenzeka ntoni xa usela ezi zinto. Kufuneka usebenze nzima kwaye uziqhelise, ungasebenzisi iindlela ezimfutshane ngolu hlobo, akunjalo? Akulunganga emzimbeni wakho, kwaye kuya konakalisa ikamva lakho.'

Indlela yokuthetha nomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo malunga neziyobisi

Njengoko umntwana wakho eba ngumntwana ofikisayo, oko kukuthi, emva kweminyaka eli-13 ubudala, kukho amathuba amaninzi okuba abahlobo bakhe basebenzise utywala neziyobisi. Kwakhona, eli lixesha apho abahlobo bakhe baqala ukuqhuba khona. Uthanda ukuya kumatheko nokuya kwiihambo. Ngoko ke, ngeli xesha, kufuneka uthethe nomntwana wakho kungekuphela nje ukuze uqonde iingcinga neemvakalelo zakhe, kodwa nokuthetha ngokucacileyo ngeengozi zokuqhuba uphantsi kwempembelelo yotywala okanye iziyobisi .

"Nyana/ntombi, oku kuyingozi ngaphezu kokuba ucinga. Khawucinge nje, ukuba wena okanye omnye umntu uqhuba imoto unxilile, angakanani amathuba okulahlekelwa bubomi, ukwenzakala kakhulu, okanye ukulahlekelwa lilungu lomzimba? Akunjalo nje kuphela, kodwa kukho neengxaki ezinkulu zomthetho - ukuya entolongweni, ukuhlawula isohlwayo esikhulu, nokungakwazi ukufumana umsebenzi ." Cacisa ezi zinto ngokucacileyo, kodwa kungekhona ngomsindo, kodwa ngothando.

Usenokukwazi ukwenza isivumelwano esibhaliweyo okanye somlomo nomntwana wakho malunga nemithetho ekufuneka ilandelwe xa uphuma okanye usebenzisa imoto. Umzekelo, thembisa, "Ukuba umntu obumphethe ngokukuthatha (umhlobo, umzekelo) usela okanye usebenzisa iziyobisi ezinzulwini zobusuku, ngentsimbi ye-12:00 okanye ye-2:00 okanye nantoni na, ndiza kuza ndikuthathe ngaphandle kwemibuzo, nditsalele umnxeba nje." Oku kuya kunika umntwana wakho ukuthembana okukhulu kunye nokhuseleko kuwe.

Kule minyaka, banokukubuza imibuzo ecacileyo malunga neziyobisi.. Njengokuthi 'Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba utshaya intsangu?', 'Yintoni iqhwa?'. Ngelo xesha, ngaphandle kokuyiphepha, chaza ngokucacileyo into oyaziyo nento oyifumanisileyo. Xa uchaza izinto ozilindeleyo kunye nesikhundla sakho ngale ndlela kwasekuqaleni, umntwana uziva ekhuselekile ukuza kuwe aze athethe ngayo nantoni na, aze akuxelele ukuba kukho ingxaki.

Yintoni enye endinokuyenza ukukhusela abantwana bam kwiziyobisi?

Khangela, le ngxaki yeziyobisi inokuchaphazela naluphi na usapho, nawuphi na umntu kulo naliphi na inqanaba loluntu. Musa ukucinga ukuba, 'Ayizukwenzeka kusapho lwethu, ayizukwenzeka nakumntwana wam.' Oko kuyingozi. Kodwa, ukuba uthetha nabantwana bakho rhoqo, ukuba ubandakanyeka kubomi babo, ukuba unjengomhlobo kubo, ungabanceda ekukhuseleni kule ngozi. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga noko:

H3: Xhasa izinto ezithandwa ngumntwana

Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwizinto azithandayo, kwimidlalo, okanye kwiiklabhu anomdla kuzo. Le misebenzi ibonelela ngokusebenzisana nabantu, uqeqesho lobunkokeli, kwaye yakhe ukuzithemba . Xa umntwana eziva elungile kwaye eziva exabisekile, amathuba okuba angazibandakanyi kwizenzo eziyingozi ezifana neziyobisi ayancipha.

H3: Qaphela abahlobo bomntwana wakho kunye neendawo ahlala kuzo

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwazi ukuba ngoobani abahlobo bomntwana wakho, ukuba banjani, ukuba bahlala phi kakhulu, kunye nokuba benza ntoni kunye. Kuba abantwana abanabahlobo abasebenzisa iziyobisi banamathuba amaninzi okuzama iziyobisi ngokwabo . Oku akuthethi ukuba ufanele ukrokre wonke umhlobo. Kodwa kulungile ukuba ulumke. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zizise abahlobo bomntwana wakho ekhaya, uthethe nabo, kwaye ubazi abazali babo.

H3: Bafundise ukuthi 'hayi' kwaye ubancede bafike ekhaya bekhuselekile

Ukuba umntu uzama ukukunika iziyobisi, icuba, okanye utywala, fundisa umntwana wakho ngokucacileyo indlela yokwala. Ziqhelise ukuthi, "Hayi, andiyifuni, andiyi kuyithatha, abazali bam abayithandi." Kwakhona, ukuba ukhe wangena engxakini, wabhajwa kwindawo angenakuhlala kuyo, okanye kufuneka ahambe, mxelele ukuba akufowunele okanye akuthumelele umyalezo. Mnike ukuzithemba kokuba, "Ndiza kuza ndikuthathe, andiyi kubuza mibuzo, ungoyiki."

Khumbula: Ukuba umntwana wakho ukubiza ukuba akuncede, musa ukumthethisa, ukumthethisa, okanye ukumkhalimela. Okokuqala, mbuyisele ekhaya ekhuselekile. Emva kokuba ethobile, thetha naye ngoxolo nangothando.

H3: Dala imeko-bume yosapho efudumeleyo nevulekileyo

Okukhona ikhaya lifudumele, livulekile, kwaye lithanda izinto, kokukhona lingcono. Oko kuthetha ukuba ikhaya lakho kufuneka libe yindawo apho abantwana banokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo ngeemvakalelo zabo, iingxaki zabo, uloyiso lwabo, kunye noloyiso lwabo. Xabisa impumelelo yabo encinci, kwaye wakhe ukuzithemba kwabo.Emva koko abantwana baya kuza ngaphambili ukuze babelane nawe ngeengxaki zabo kunye nemithwalo abanayo engqondweni. Kwimeko apho yonke into igxekwa, igxekwa, kwaye igxekwa, abantwana bazama ukufihla nokuxoka.

H3: Yenza ukuthetha nomntwana wakho kube yinxalenye yemisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla.

Yenza ukuthetha nomntwana wakho kube yinxalenye yemihla yakho rhoqo. Buza imibuzo emincinci efana nokuthi, "Bekunjani esikolweni?", "Bekunjani namhlanje?", "Wenze ntoni nabahlobo bakho?" Fumana ixesha lokwenza izinto enizonwabela kunye njengosapho (ukutya, ukudlala, ukufunda incwadi). Oku kuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi komntu wonke kwaye kunceda ukugcina unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bakhetha ukuthetha ngendlela ekhululekileyo ngelixa besenza enye into, njengaxa beqhuba, behamba kunye, okanye besenza imisebenzi yasekhaya. Sebenzisa amathuba aloo maxesha.

H3: Nika ingqalelo kumaxesha anzima omntwana wakho.

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntwana wakho ujongene nexesha elinzima okanye ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela aziphethe ngayo, yiqwalasele loo nto. Mhlawumbi uxinezelekile okanye ukhathazekile ngenxa yovavanyo, ingxaki nomhlobo, ubudlelwane bothando, okanye esinye isizathu. Banike inkxaso abayifunayo ngelo xesha, babenze bazive ngathi ababodwa, kwaye ufumane uncedo olongezelelweyo ukuba kuyimfuneko (umz., umcebisi wesikolo, umntu omdala othembekileyo, ugqirha). Xa umntwana eziva eyedwa kwaye evakalelwa kukuba akukho mntu umqondayo, kunokwenzeka ukuba aguqukele kwinto embi, njengeziyobisi.

H3: Funa ingcebiso kagqirha ukuba kuyimfuneko.

Ukuba wena okanye umntwana wakho nifuna ulwazi oluthe kratya okanye isikhokelo malunga nala mayeza, kwaye ningenamntu onokuthetha naye, thetha nogqirha wakho wosapho . Banokukubonisa indlela elungileyo, bakunike iingcebiso, mhlawumbi bakunike nomcebisi olungileyo. Oku akuyonto ifanele ibe neentloni okanye yoyike. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukucamngca ngekamva labantwana bethu.

Okokugqibela, ezona zinto zibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Kulungile, ngoko ke ngokwento esithethe ngayo, kufanele kucace kuwe ukuba thina njengabazali kufuneka sisebenze ngokuzibophelela, ngokuqonda nangothando kangakanani ukusindisa abantwana bethu kolu tshaba luyingozi olubizwa ngokuba ziziyobisi.

• Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo lubalulekile . Yakha ukuthembana nomntwana wakho ngokumxelela nantoni na aze amamele ngaphandle kokumgweba.
• Yiba ngumzekelo omhle kakhulu . Indlela ocinga ngayo ngeziyobisi, utywala, kunye neecuba, nokuba uyazisebenzisa okanye awuzisebenzisi, inempembelelo enkulu kumntwana wakho.
• Thetha ngendlela efanele iminyaka yomntwana . Kungekuko ngendlela obuya kuthetha ngayo nomntwana omncinci, kodwa kumntwana omncinci. Kalula nje, ngendlela abanokuqonda ngayo.
• Mamela ngononophelo oko kuthethwa ngumntwana wakho . Mela imibuzo noloyiko lwakhe, uze umxelele ukuba kukho umntu omphulaphulayo.
• Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba athi 'hayi'Kwaye ubaxelele ukuba ulapho ukubanceda xa bengena engxakini, olo kuzithemba.
• Yenza imeko-bume yosapho efudumeleyo, enothando, nexhasanayo . Emva koko abantwana bakho baya kwabelana nawe ngayo yonke into, kwaye kuya kuba ncinci amathuba okuba baphambuke.
• Musa ukuba namahloni okufuna uncedo lweengcali xa lufuneka . Oogqirha nabacebisi bakhona ukusinceda.

Oku akuyonto inokwenziwa ngobusuku obunye. Le yinkqubo eqhubekayo, ethatha ixesha elide. Kodwa, ngomzamo wakho, uthando, kunye nokuzinikela, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kukwazi ukusindisa umntwana wakho kule ngxaki yeziyobisi. Ungakhathazeki, awuwedwa, masisebenze kunye sonke kule nto! Ngamana umntwana wakho angakhuseleka!

Iziyobisi , abantwana, abazali, unxibelelwano, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, ukhuseleko, iingcebiso