Ngaba umntwana wakho unomsindo ovuthayo? Makhe sithethe ngale nto!

Njengomama okanye utata, ngamanye amaxesha unokuzibuza, 'Kutheni umntwana wam eziphatha ngolu hlobo?' Xa umntwana wakho eqala ukukhala, ukukhwaza, okanye ukuqengqeleka phantsi ngequbuliso, kunokuba yinto ecaphukisayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ibe nomsindo. Kuqhelekile kakhulu. Kodwa endaweni yokujonga ezi 'ngxaki' njengengxaki nje okanye ukuziphatha okubi komntwana, kuthekani ukuba sizibona njengethuba elihle lokufundisa abantwana bethu into ethile size sibaqonde?

Kutheni abantwana abancinci besokola ngolu hlobo? Zithini ii-Temper Tantrums?

Ngamafutshane, ezi mvakalelo zomsindo, okanye njengoko sizibiza ngesiNgesi, ziyindlela yokuba abantwana bakhuphe iimvakalelo ezinamandla, ezinje ngosizi, umsindo, ukukhungatheka, okanye uloyiko, abanalo ngaphakathi. Kufana nentaba-mlilo encinci. Ayinakubanjwa ngaphakathi kwaye iqhume ngequbuliso. Ezi zihlala zibonwa kubantwana abaphakathi kweminyaka omnye ukuya kwemithathu, ngamanye amaxesha emine . Akunamsebenzi nokuba yintombazana okanye yinkwenkwe, bobabini banokubonisa ukuziphatha okufanayo kule minyaka.

Abanye abantwana bajika rhoqo, nokuba kaninzi ngemini. Abanye bakwenza oku kunqabile, njengokuba kanye ngenyanga. Nangona kunjalo, sonke kufuneka siqale siqonde ukuba eli linqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokukhula komntwana . Oko kuthetha ukuba, musa ukuziva kakubi ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho kuphela owenza oku. Le yinto efunyanwa ngumntwana ngamnye omncinci emhlabeni ngandlela thile.

Kutheni abantwana bevukela? Makhe sijonge ezinye zezizathu.

Kulungile, masibone ukuba kutheni aba bantwana abancinci ngequbuliso beqala ukuziphatha ngolu hlobo. Akukho sizathu sinye soku, zinokubakho izizathu ezininzi.

Ingaba oku kuqhelekile kuphuhliso lwabo?

Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo. Musa ukumangaliswa kukuva oku. Njengoko besitshilo ngaphambili, umsindo uyinxalenye yophuhliso lweemvakalelo zomntwana. Zonke ziyinxalenye yohambo lwakhe lokuqonda ihlabathi, ukuchonga iimvakalelo zakhe, nokufunda indlela yokuzilawula. Kufana nesityalo esincinci esikhulayo kwaye amasebe aso ayawa. Bazama ngokwenene ukuthi, 'Ndisentlungwini enkulu ngoku, andisakwazi ukuyinyamezela le nto, ndincedeni!'

Izizathu ezincinci zoguquko

Ngoku makhe sibone ukuba zeziphi ezinye izizathu ezincinci zemihla ngemihla ezinokubangela ukuba umntwana omncinci aqalise utshintsho.

• Ukudinwa: Xa bediniwe kukudlala, ukubaleka, nokufunda izinto ezintsha imini yonke, nezinto ezincinci zinokuvakala zinkulu kubo. Njengokuba nathi sicatshukiswa zizinto ezincinci ngemini ediniweyo kakhulu.
• Indlala: Ukuba ukutya akufumaneki ngexesha, umonde wabantwana uya kuncipha nokuba balambile. Intetho ethi "Umtyholi uyadanisa xa elambile" ayiyonyani.
• Ingxaki:Ukuba impahla oyinxibileyo iqinile, okanye inabukeni imanzi, okanye uyabila kwaye uziva ukhathazekile, nokuba yinto encinci engalunganga ngolo hlobo ingaba sisiqalo sotshintsho olukhulu. Cinga ngayo, kuyafana nakuthi, akunjalo? Ekubeni iintsana zingazi ukuba zichaze njani ngamazwi, zisixelela ngokulila.
• Ukungafumani into abayifunayo: Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abancinci bafuna ithoyizi, iilekese abazibonileyo evenkileni, okanye ikhathuni yokubukela. Ukuba abayifumani kwangoko, baqala ukucaphuka. Bayakhwaza baze bakhale, 'Ndiyifuna loo nto! Ndiyifuna ngoku!'
• Ukufumana ingqalelo: Ngamanye amaxesha, xa umama notata bethetha ngefowuni okanye bexakeke zezinye izinto, kwaye kufuneka bafumane ingqalelo ngokukhawuleza, abantwana abancinci bangaqala ukwenza izinto ngendlela engaqhelekanga. Xa bengazi ukuba bathi njani, "Mama, ndijonge!", bazama ukufumana ingqalelo ngokulila.
• Ukungakwazi ukwenza abanye benze into abayifunayo: Khawuthelekelele, udadewenu uphethe ithebhulethi esandleni sakhe, kwaye umnakwenu uyayifuna ngoku. Udadewenu akazukukunika yona. Nangona kunjalo, umnakwenu usenokuba nomsindo aze adinwe. Okanye, ukuba umama wakho uthi 'hayi' kwinto ethile, kwaye awukwazi ukumenza athi 'ewe', oku kunokwenzeka.

Ukufunda ukumelana noxinzelelo abaluvayo ngamaxesha anje sisakhono abasiphuhlisayo ngokuhamba kwexesha. Oku kuthetha ukuba akuyi kwenzeka ngequbuliso. Kufuneka sibe nomonde size sibancede ngaloo nto.

Xa bengakwazi ukutsho kanye into abayifunayo...

Ezi ntshukumo zomsindo, okanye umsindo womsindo , zixhaphake kakhulu kunyaka wesibini wobomi bomntwana . Oko kukuthi, zihlala zibonakala phakathi kobudala benyanga enye ukuya kwezimbalwa kunye neminyaka emibini. Uyazi ukuba kutheni oku kusenzeka ngelo xesha? Isizathu esiphambili soku kukuba izakhono zabo zolwimi ziqala ukukhula ngelo xesha. Bayaqonda amagama ambalwa kwaye banokuthetha namagama ambalwa. Bangasebenzisa amagama alula afana no "mama", "tata", "usana", "ukutya", "amanzi".

Nangona kunjalo, isigama sabo asisikhulu ngokwaneleyo ukuba bakwazi ukuveza yonke into abayicingayo, yonke into abayifunayo, kunye neemvakalelo abazivayo (iimvakalelo ezinzima ezifana nosizi, umsindo, ulonwabo, kunye noloyiko) kwisivakalisi esipheleleyo. Izakhono zabo zolwimi zisesekwinqanaba lokuqala.

Khawuthelekelele, ulambile kakhulu, kodwa awazi ukuba ungathini 'Ndilambile, ndiphe ukutya'. Okanye, ukuba ukhathazekile kakhulu ngento ethile, kodwa awukwazi ukuyiveza ngamazwi loo ntlungu nakubani na, ubuya kuziva njani? Yileyo ndlela eyenzeka ngayo kubantwana abancinci. Banobunzima obuthile, abanye badinga, kodwa abazi ukuba bangayithetha njani nabanye, ukuyithetha ngamazwi. Kulapho ezo mvakalelo ziphuma khona njengotshintsho kunye nokukhathazeka okwakheka ezintliziyweni zabo. Oku kufana nolwimi lwabo, loo ndlela yokuziphatha. Njengoko izakhono zabo zolwimi ziphucuka kancinci kancinci, uya kukwazi ukuzibonela ngokwakho ukuba olu tshintsho luya kuncipha kancinci kancinci.

"Ndiyayifuna, ndifuna ukuyenza mna!" - Amaphupha amakhulu abantwana abancinci

Xa bemalunga neminyaka eli-1 nesiqingatha okanye emibini ubudala, abantwana abancinci baba nomnqweno onamandla wokuzenzela yonke into ngokwabo (ukuzimela) . Bafuna ukulawula indawo abakuyo. Bacinga izinto ezinje, 'Ndiza kuzinxiba', 'Ndiza kutya ukutya kwam', 'Ndifuna loo nto yokudlala', 'Ndiza kunyuka izinyuko ndedwa'. Olu luphawu oluhle lokukhula kwabo. Bafunda kancinci kancinci ngehlabathi kwaye bavavanya izakhono zabo.

Kodwa ke, bafuna izinto ezinkulu kunokuba banokwenza ngokwenene. Oko kukuthi, banamathemba aphezulu kunezakhono zabo zomzimba nezengqondo. Xa becinga, 'Ndingakwenza oku ndedwa!' baze bangakwazi ukukwenza, okanye xa becinga, 'Ndikufuna oko ngoku!' baze bangakuqonda, bayacaphuka kakhulu baze badideke. Kulapho ke olo tshintsho luqala khona kwakhona. Kufana ' nokulwa ngamandla ' phakathi kwabo kunye nemida yabo. Bazama ukuphumelela ihlabathi, bazama ukufumana into abayifunayo, kodwa xa bengakwazi, bazama ukuphumelela ngokulila okanye ngokujika.

Zeziphi izinto ezenziwa ngabantwana xa kukho utshintsho oluzayo?

Ngoku masithethe ngezinto ezibonakaliswa ngabantwana abancinci kunye nokuziphatha xa benomsindo okhawulezayo . Oku kunokwahluka kumntu nomntu. Ayingabo bonke abantwana abanemisindo efanayo. Ezinye iimpawu zokuvutha zincinci kakhulu, ngelixa ezinye zinzima kakhulu.

• Abanye abantu bayakhala , betsala nje, bekhala ngathi bakwi-coma.
• Abanye bakhala kakhulu , belila.
• Abanye abantu bayakhwaza , bekhwaza ngokwaneleyo ukuba baviwe kulo lonke umdlalo, mhlawumbi nakwindlu esecaleni.
• Ukuba imeko iba mandundu, banokubakhaba , bababethe , okanye bade bababethe abazali babo, okanye babaphosele into ethile.
• Ulele phantsi, eqengqeleka , ebetha iingalo nemilenze.
• Abanye abantwana, oku kunzima ukukubukela, kwaye into eyoyikisa abazali ngokwenene, kukubamba umphefumlo wabo (Iimpempe Ezibambe Umphefumlo) . Ngequbuliso bayayeka ukuphefumla, ngamanye amaxesha de ubuso babo bube luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka. Emva kwexesha elithile, baqala ukuphefumla kwakhona, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha balahlekelwa zingqondo. Xa oomama bebona oku, bayoyika kakhulu. Kodwa oku (Iimpempe Ezibambe Umphefumlo) kukwaluphawu olubonakaliswa ngabanye abantwana ngexesha lotshintsho, ingakumbi xa bengafumani nto bayifunayo. Le yinto ekufuneka sithethe ngayo ngokwahlukeneyo, kuba ikhethekile kancinci, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kusenokufuneka ufune ingcebiso kagqirha.

Ngoko ke sifanele siyijonge njani le nguqu?

Ngoko ke, emva kokuva konke oku, mhlawumbi uyaqonda ukuba ukucaphuka kwaba bantwana abancinci akuyonto abayenzayo kuba bengabantwana ababi, okanye bazama nje ukukucaphukisa okanye ukukucaphukisa.

Le yinxalenye yophuhliso lwabo. Yindlela yokufunda ngehlabathi, ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabo, ukumelana nazo, baze ngandlela ithile bazame ukukhupha ezo mvakalelo.

Ngoko ke, xa umntwana esenza impazamo, akufuneki siyibone nje 'njengentlekele' okanye 'ingxaki', kodwa njengethuba elihle lokuba simfundise into umntwana, simqonde, size simncede ajongane neemvakalelo zakhe . Akulula njengoko kuvakala, kwaye kunzima kuthi ukuyinyamezela xa umntwana ekhala okanye eqengqeleka phantsi. Nangona kunjalo, ngolu lwazi, kuya kuba lula kancinci kuthi ukujongana nale meko.

Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya

Kulungile, makhe ndishwankathele ezinye zezona zinto zibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule kwinto esithethe ngayo namhlanje:

• Ukucaphuka ngumsindo yinto eqhelekileyo ekukhuleni kwabantwana abaneminyaka ephakathi kweli-1 neli-3 (ngamanye amaxesha iminyaka emi-4) . Musa ukoyika okanye ukuba neentloni kakhulu ngaloo nto.
• Umntwana usenokuba udlala ngokuba ediniwe, elambile, engakhululekanga, engafumani nto ayifunayo, efuna ingqalelo, okanye ekhupha umsindo okanye ezinye iimvakalelo ezimbi .
• Ingakumbi xa izakhono zabo zolwimi zikhula , banamathuba amaninzi okufumana olu hlobo lotshintsho kuba abakwazi ukuveza kanye into abayifunayo okanye abavakalelwa ngayo ngamazwi.
• Abantwana abancinci banomnqweno omkhulu wokuzenzela izinto ngokwabo (ukuzimela) nokulawula indawo abakuyo (ulawulo) . Xa oku kudlula amandla abo kwaye ezo lindelo ziphela, kubakho utshintsho olukhulu.
• Xa umntwana enomsindo, unokubonakalisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha, ukusuka ekulileni ukuya ekukhaleni, ekuqengqelekeni phantsi, ekutyibilikeni kwamalungu omzimba, kwanokubamba umphefumlo wakhe (ii-spells zokubamba umphefumlo) .
• Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukungabuboni obu tshintsho njengento embi emntwaneni, kodwa njengethuba lokunceda umntwana, ukubuqonda, nokumfundisa ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe .

Ngoko ke, kwixesha elizayo umntwana wakho eqala ukuba nomsindo, ngaphambi kokuba ucaphuke, zinike ixesha lokucinga, 'Umntwana wam uzama ukundixelela ntoni? Ufuna ntoni ngoku?' Ukuqonda elo linyathelo elikhulu kolu hambo lunzima, kodwa oluhle. Ukuba unemibuzo engaphezulu ngale nto, ungathetha nogqirha wakho wosapho okanye ugqirha wezingane.

Ukugqabhuka Kwabantwana , Ukucaphuka Komsindo, Indlela Yokuziphatha Kwabantwana, Abazali, Uphuhliso Lomntwana, Ukuphefumla, Ingqondo Yomntwana