Izinto ezisi-7 ongazaziyo malunga nokudakumba, kodwa omele uzazi

Sonke sikhe sibe nexesha ebomini bethu apho siziva sidakumbile kwaye sidanile. Kuqhelekile. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ukuba olu dano nosizi luhlala iintsuku okanye iiveki, lunokuba yinto engaphezulu nje kosizi oluqhelekileyo. Namhlanje siza kuthetha ngenye imeko enjalo, ukudakumba. Kunokuba nzima kakhulu kumntu ohluphekileyo ukuchaza iimvakalelo zakhe aze axelele omnye umntu. Ngoko ke, ukuba unomhlobo, ilungu losapho, okanye umntu omaziyo okwimeko enjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uzazi ezi zinto ukuze umncede.

1. Ukudakumba akupheleli nje ekukhathazekeni.

Kulapho uninzi lwabantu lwenza khona impazamo enkulu. Kulula ukucinga, "Hayi, akukho nto ifanele ixhalabe ngayo, kuza kulunga kwiintsuku ezimbalwa." Kodwa inyaniso yahlukile kakhulu.

Ngamafutshane, usizi ludla ngokuba yimvakalelo yexeshana. Sisenokuziva sibuhlungu ngenxa yento eyenzekileyo, kodwa iya kuphela emva kwexesha elithile, usuku okanye ezimbini. Kodwa uxinezeleko alunjalo. Sisifo esihlala ixesha elide esichaphazela ubomi bethu bonke.

Cinga ngayo, umntu onesifo soxinzelelo akufuneki ahlale edakumbile. Ngamanye amaxesha uziva engenamdla kwaye engenanto. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuba nomsindo kakhulu kwaye abe nomsindo.

Ungawuqonda ngcono umahluko kule theyibhile.

2. Nokuba unqwenela kangakanani okanye uzimisele kangakanani, awunakuyisusa le nto.

Icebiso elifana nelithi "Yiba namandla", "Musa ukucinga ngayo", "Yiya etempileni okanye ecaweni uze wenze isigqibo" liqhelekile kuluntu lwethu. Nangona ukholo luyinto enika amandla engqondweni, ukudakumba akubobuthathaka bengqondo, yimeko yezonyango efuna unyango.

Xa usitsho loo nto, umntu ophethwe yile meko uziva ngathi, "Le yimpazamo yam, ingxaki kukuba andikwazi ukuzibamba." Oko kumenza azive edandathekile nangakumbi.

Ngoko ke ufanele wenze ntoni?

Endaweni yokubanika iingcebiso, baphathe ngothando, ngobubele, nangokuqonda. Ukuthi izinto ezinje, "Ndikunye nawe," "Uziva njani?", "Singaya kugqirha?" zibaluleke kakhulu kunokuthi, "Zenzele isigqibo." Into abayifunayo asikokuba umntu oza kubalungisa, kodwa ngumntu oza kubamamela aze ababambe isandla.

3. Ukudakumba sisifo sokwenyani.

Abantu abaninzi basacinga ukuba ukudakumba "yinto obuyicinga." Kodwa oko akulunganga kwaphela. Ukudakumba yimeko yokwenyani yezonyango, njengesifo seswekile kunye noxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu.

Uphando lufumanise ukuba ukudakumba kubangelwa kukudibana kokungalingani kweekhemikhali kwingqondo yethu (ii-neurotransmitters), i-genetics, kunye nezinto ezisingqongileyo. Oku kuthetha ukuba asinto esinokuyilawula. Ngoko ke ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo uneempawu zokudakumba, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukubona ugqirha ofanelekileyo okanye umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo ngoko nangoko.

4. Nokuba umntu ozimiseleyo unokuba noxinzelelo.

Sijonga umntu ngaphandle size sicinge, "Owu, unamandla kangaka, kutheni enezi ngxaki?" Kodwa oko akuyonyani. Ukudakumba akuyondlela yokulinganisa amandla omntu.

Cinga ngomama okanye utata othwale yonke imithwalo yosapho kwaye wayeyimandla kuwo wonke umntu, okanye umntu owenza yonke into kakuhle eofisini. Banokuncuma baze babonakale benamandla ngaphandle, kodwa basenokuba balwa idabi elikhulu ngaphakathi. Igama elithi "bomelele" libangela ukuba abantu abaninzi bafihle iingxaki zabo baze babandezeleke bodwa.

5. Amayeza okudakumba awakwenzi umntu ' oxolayo '.

Mhlawumbi ukhe weva amabali afana nala, "Owu, loo mayeza esifo sengqondo akwenza uphambane," kunye nala athi "Uza kulala imini yonke." Olu loyiko yilo nto eyenza abantu abaninzi bathandabuze ukufuna unyango.

Kodwa inyani yile, amayeza okudakumba anamhlanje angcono kakhulu. Awakwenzi ulale okanye atshintshe ubuntu bakho. Akunceda ulungelelanise iikhemikhali ezikwingqondo yakho ezingalinganiyo , akuncede uzive unomdla ngakumbi ebomini kwaye wonwabe kwakhona.

Kakade ke, ayinguye wonke umntu ofuna amayeza. Kwabanye, unyango lokuthetha okanye utshintsho kwindlela yokuphila lunokwanela. Kodwa kumntu ofuna amayeza, ukufumana amayeza afanelekileyo phantsi kweliso likagqirha kunokubanceda babuyisele ubomi babo endleleni.

6. Ukudakumba akuthethi ukuba ungumntu ocinga ukuba izinto azihambi kakuhle.

Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi koomama abanengxaki yokudakumba emva kokuzalwa (PPD). "Kutheni ungonwabanga nangona unomntwana omhle?" kunye "Baninzi abantu abahluphekayo ngaphandle kwabantwana, kufuneka wonwabe ngoko unako," zonke ezi zinto zenza umama azive ebuhlungu nangakumbi.

Ukudakumba akuyondlela yokuzikhethela, kukugula. Nokuba bazama ukwaneliseka zizinto abanazo, utshintsho lweekhemikhali engqondweni yabo olubangelwa kukugula alubavumeli ukuba bazive benoyolo. Enyanisweni, ukutsho oko kunokubangela ukuba bazive benetyala ngakumbi kwaye kwenze ukudakumba kwabo kube mandundu.

7. Ukuziva ungcono kancinci akuthethi ukuba ukugula kuphelile.

Abanye abantu banokuziva bedakumbile kube kanye ebomini babo baze baphile. Kodwa kubantu abaninzi, ukudakumba sisifo esingapheliyo, njengesifo seswekile .

Khawucinge nje, ngaba umntu onesifo seswekile angayeka ngequbuliso ukuthatha i-insulin kuba amanqanaba eswekile egazini lakhe emahle? Hayi, akunjalo? Ngendlela efanayo, umntu onyangwa ngenxa yokudakumba akanakuyeka ukuthatha amayeza akhe okanye ayeke unyango kwangoko nje ukuba uzive engcono. Ukuba wenza njalo, amathuba okuba isifo siphinde sivele aphezulu kakhulu.

Kungoko ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqhubeka nokunxibelelana nogqirha wakho kwaye ulandele icebiso lakhe, nokuba uzive uphilile.