Ngaba uyoyika ngokwenene ukuthandana? Masithethe nge-Philophobia!

Uthando luyinto entle, akunjalo? Kodwa kwabanye abantu, ingcinga yokuthandana okanye ukuqala ubudlelwane inokuba yinto eyoyikisayo nebangela uxinzelelo olukhulu. Ngaba wakha waziva ngaloo ndlela? Ukuba kunjalo, lo usenokuba nguwe. Le meko siyibiza ngokuba yi-philophobia.

Yintoni iPhilophobia?

Ngamafutshane, iPhilophobia luloyiko olugqithisileyo nolungaqhelekanga lothando. Asikuko nje ukuva nje okuthi, 'Andiluthandi uthando.' Luloyiko olunzulu nolunzulu ngakumbi. Olu loyiko lwenza kube nzima kakhulu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akunakwenzeka, kwabanye abantu ukwakha nokugcina ubudlelwane bothando. Igama elithi "Philos" ligama lesiGrike elithetha othandekayo. Igama elithi "Phobos" lithetha uloyiko. Ngoko ke xa ezi zimbini zidibana, intsingiselo 'yoloyiko lothando' iyabonakala.

Cinga, uKumkanikazi wokuqala waseNgilani kwimbali, uElizabeth, akazange atshate, kwaye wayesaziwa ngokuba 'nguKumkanikazi oyiNtombi.' Abanye bakholelwa ukuba naye wayenale meko ye-philophobia.

Ngoko ke yintoni i-phobia?

Ngoku usenokuba uzibuza, 'Yintoni le phobia?' I-phobia luloyiko olugqithisileyo nolungaqhelekanga lwezinto ezingenakusenzakalisa ngokwenene. Ezi ziingxaki zokuxhalaba . I-Philophobia sisifo esithile se-phobia . Oko kukuthi, uyoyika into ethile, ingcinga yokuthandana ngeli xesha, okanye imeko efana naleyo.

Ixhaphake kangakanani i-philophobia?

Kunzima ukutsho ngqo ukuba bangaphi abantu abane-philophobia. Abantu abaninzi bagcina uloyiko lwabo kubo okanye abazi nokuba banalo. Kodwa siyazi ukuba malunga nomntu omdala omnye kwabalishumi kunye nomntu omncinci omnye kwabahlanu eMelika uza kujongana noloyiko oluthile ngaxa lithile ebomini bakhe. Ngoko ke i-philophobia inokuba yenye yazo.

Ngubani osengozini enkulu yokuhlaselwa yi-philophobia?

Ngokuqhelekileyo kuthiwa abafazi banamathuba amaninzi okufumana olu hlobo lwe-phobia. Kukwakho nezinye izinto ezininzi ezinobungozi:

• Imbali yosapho: Ukuba ukhe wabona abazali bakho okanye umntu osondeleyo kuwe enesifo sokoyika okanye sokuxhalaba, usenokuba noloyiko olufanayo. Njengokuba umama esoyika izigcawu, nomntwana wakhe unokuba noloyiko kwizigcawu.
• Impembelelo yemfuza: Olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba abanye abantu banezakhi zofuzo ezahlukeneyo ezibenza babe sesichengeni sokufumana iingxaki zokuxhalaba kunye neentloni.
• Ukuba nezinye iingxaki zokoyika: Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezingaphezu kwesinye zokoyika. Umntu owoyika uthando usenokuba noloyiko lokuzibophelela (oku kubizwa ngokuba yi-gamophobia) , uloyiko lokungamkeleki, okanye uloyiko lokushiywa.

Kutheni ndisoyika kangaka uthando?

Cinga ngako oku, kutheni umntu enokoyika into entle njengothando? Rhoqo, xa ujonga iingcambu zolu loyiko, lunokulandelwa kumava abuhlungu ebuntwaneni . I-Philophobia ifana nempendulo yokukhusela . Ukuba awuzivumeli ukuba umthande umntu, ingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo inokucinga ukuba uyazisindisa ekulimaleni nasentlungwini.

Nazi ezinye zezizathu ezinokubangela i-philophobia:

• Ubudlelwane obubi bangaphambili: Khawucinge ngomntwana owayebukele abazali bakhe belwa okanye beqhawula umtshato esengumntwana. Okanye umzali owafa, walahlwa, okanye waxhatshazwa esengumntwana... Kunokuba nzima kakhulu kumntwana oye wahlangabezana nezi zinto ukuthanda abanye. Kunjalo nakubantu abadala. Ukuba ubudlelwane bangaphambili babububuqhetseba, uqhawulo-mtshato, ukuxhatshazwa, okanye ukulahlwa, akumangalisi ukuba bayoyika ukuthanda kwakhona. Khawucinge, uNimali wenzakaliswe kakhulu yindoda yakhe yokuqala. Emva koko, uziva exhalabile kwaye esoyika xa ecinga ngokuqalisa ubudlelwane kwakhona.

• Uloyiko lokungamkeleki okanye ukushiywa: Ukuba omnye wabazali bakho wakulahla usengumntwana, oko kunokuba sisizathu soloyiko lwakho lothando. Xa uhlala ungamkeleki ngabahlobo kunye namaqabane xa umdala, unokoyika uthando. Usenokuvakalelwa kukuba 'umntu uza kundishiya nangona kunjalo.'

• Iingcinezelo zenkcubeko okanye zonqulo: Ezinye iinkcubeko azicingi kakhulu ngothando, kwaye umtshato olungiselelweyo uyacwangciswa. Usenokoyika ukuthandana kuba uziva ngathi awunalo ilungelo lokukhetha iqabane lakho. Kwakhona, ukuba ungumntu we-LGBTQ+, usenokoyika ukuthandana ukuba inkolo okanye inkcubeko yakho iyaphikisana nolwalamano. Ngenxa yokoyika ukugxothwa luluntu nokungafunwa lusapho lwakho.

• Ingxaki Yokuzibandakanya Entlalweni Engathintelwanga (DSED): Umntwana ongafumani ngqalelo, uthando, kunye noxabiso aludingayo kubazali bakhe okanye kwabanye abantu abadala abathembekileyo esengumntwana usenokuba noloyiko lothando njengoko ekhula. Abantwana abanjalo banokusondelana ngcono nabantu abangabaziyo kunabo babathandayo. I-DSED luhlobo lwe- Reactive Attachment Disorder .

Ziziphi iimpawu ze-philophobia?

Oku kunokuchaphazela abantu aboyika uthando ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ungahlangabezana nezi zinto zilandelayo:

• Ulwalamano olusondeleyo nolusondeleyo alunakwenzeka.
• Xa usebudlelwaneni , uziva unexhala kakhulu , kwaye uhlala uxhalabile ukuba ubudlelwane buza kuphela.
• Uziva uloyiko ngeqabane lakho okanye iimvakalelo zalo .
• Bayabagxotha abantu okanye baphelise ubudlelwane ngequbuliso.

Xa uneemvakalelo zothando, unokufumana iimpawu zomzimba ezifana nezi:

• Isiyezi
• Umlomo owomileyo
• Ukuziva uloyiko olukhulu okanye uloyiko
• Isicaphucaphu, ukuhlanza, okanye urhudo
• Ukubila kakhulu
• Ukuphefumla ngokukhawuleza kunye nesantya sentliziyo
• Ukungcangcazela okanye ukungcangcazela
• Ukuqhawukelwa ngumphefumlo

Indlela yokubona i-philophobia?

Ngoko ke, oogqirha bayixilonga njani i-philophobia? I-American Psychiatric Association inesikhokelo esibizwa ngokuba yi-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Iingcali zempilo yengqondo ezifana neengcali zengqondo ziyisebenzisa ukuxilonga i-phobias ngokusekelwe kwiimpawu kunye nendlela ezichaphazela ngayo ubomi bakho.

Oogqirha basebenzisa ezi ndlela zokuxilonga i-phobia ethile efana ne-philophobia:

• Uloyiko oluhlala luhleli lothando oluhlala ubuncinane iinyanga ezintandathu .
• Uloyiko okanye ixhala elinamandla elivela xa uziva uthandwa.
• Iimpawu ze-phobia ziyavela xa ujongene nomntu omthandayo.
• Kuphephe ukunika okanye ukufumana uthando kuba ixhala okanye uloyiko luyakukhuthaza.
• Iimpawu eziqatha eziphazamisana nokukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo nobusondeleyo.

Iphathwa njani i-philophobia?

Ngaba akukho unyango lwale nto? Ngokuqinisekileyo lukhona. Unyango olubizwa ngokuba yiCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) lunokukunceda woyise i-philophobia. Olu luhlobo lwe-psychotherapy. Ngamafutshane, lunyango lokuthetha. Lukunceda uchonge iingcinga kunye nokuziphatha okukwenza woyike uthando.

Usenokuzuza kuhlobo lonyango lokuchasana nabantu olubizwa ngokuba yiSystemic Desensitization Therapy . Kuthiwa unyango lokuchasana nabantu lunceda abantu abangaphezu kwama-90% abaneengxaki ezithile zokoyika.

Nantsi indlela esebenza ngayo:

• Uza kufundiswa ukulawula iimpawu zakho usebenzisa iindlela zokuphumla ezifana nokuzilolonga ngokuphefumla nzulu kunye nokucamngca.
• Uya udibana kancinci kancinci nengqondo yothando . Okokuqala ucinga ngayo, uze uthethe ngayo, uze ujongane neemeko ezincinci.
• Inika imisebenzi esebenzayo eya kukunceda uqhele ukupha nokwamkela uthando.

Ziziphi iingxaki ezinokubakho ze-philophobia?

Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba siyayeka olu loyiko lothando? Ubomi obungenalo uthando bunokuchaphazela impilo yakho yomzimba neyengqondo. Ngenxa yoko, usenokuba sesichengeni seemeko ezifana nezi:

• Ixhala, Uxinzelelo, okanye Ingxaki Yokuxhalaba.
• Kumadoda, kukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile.
• Ingxaki Yoxinzelelo Emva Kwengozi (PTSD).
• Ingxaki Yokusetyenziswa Kweziyobisi.

Ufanele uye nini kugqirha?

Ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka ubone ugqirha ukuba unayo nayiphi na kwezi zilandelayo:

• Uhlaselo loloyiko luyeza.
• Ukuba unexhala elingapheliyo eliphazamisana nobomi bemihla ngemihla okanye ubuthongo.
• Ukuba uneempawu zokudakumba okanye iingxaki zokusebenzisa iziyobisi .

Ndimele ndibuze ntoni kugqirha wam?

Xa ubona ugqirha, ungambuza imibuzo efana nale:

• Kutheni ndine-phobia enjalo?
• Yeyiphi indlela engcono yonyango kum?
• Ngaba kufuneka ndizame unyango lwengqondo?
• Ndiza kuyidinga ixesha elingakanani unyango?
• Ngaba amayeza anokunceda?

Okokugqibela, khumbula...

Kungokwemvelo kuthi sonke ukuzama ukuzikhusela kwiintlungu nentlungu. Kodwa ukuba uloyiko lwakho lothando lukubangela uxinezeleko lomzimba okanye lwengqondo, okanye luchaphazela ubuchule bakho bokwakha ubudlelwane, kulapho ingxaki iqala khona.

Ukupha nokwamkela uthando kufanele kube yinto ebangela uvuyo.

Xa usoyika uthando ngenxa ye-philophobia, ihlabathi lakho linokuvakalelwa lilolo. Kodwa khumbula, ungafunda ukujongana nolu loyiko ngezinto ezifana ne -CBT kunye nonyango lokunciphisa uvakalelo . Ngokuhamba kwexesha, uya kukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, obunothando neqabane lakho, usapho, kunye nabahlobo. Musa ukubandezeleka wedwa, cela uncedo. Awuwedwa.

I- Philophobia, uloyiko lothando, i-phobia, ixhala, impilo yengqondo, unyango, ubudlelwane