Ngaba ngamanye amaxesha uziva udiniwe yinto yonke, ungonwabanga yinto, kwaye uzive unesithwalo esikhulu kunye nokungabi nanto entliziyweni yakho? Mhlawumbi umntu omaziyo, umntu okwintsapho yakho, uphethwe yile meko. Sithetha ngoxinzelelo, isifo sengqondo esiqhelekileyo kodwa esibi kakhulu phakathi kwabantu abaninzi, okanye njengoko sonke sisazi , uxinezeleko . Umbuzo omkhulu abantu abaninzi abanawo kukuba ingaba le meko inokuthintelwa ngokupheleleyo ngaphambi kokuba yenzeke kuthi. Makhe sibone ukuba isayensi yezonyango ithini ngayo ngokwenene.
Ngaba ukudakumba kungathintelwa ngokwenene?
Ngamafutshane, kunzima ukunika impendulo ecacileyo ethi 'ewe' okanye 'hayi' koku. Uninzi lweengcali zonyango ziyavuma ukuba ukudakumba akunakuthintelwa ngokupheleleyo. Abanye abakaqinisekanga.
Cinga ngayo, zininzi izinto ezinokubangela uxinezeleko. Uninzi lwazo zizinto esingenakukwazi ukuzilawula. Umzekelo:
- I-Gene Yakho: Ukuba kukho umntu kusapho lwakho oye waba noxinzelelo, usenokuba usemngciphekweni omkhulu kancinci.
- I-Brain Chemistry: Uxinzelelo lunokubangelwa lutshintsho kwiikhemikhali (ii-neurotransmitters) engqondweni yethu ezilawula iimvakalelo ezifana nolonwabo kunye nosizi.
- Indawo ohlala kuyo kunye neziganeko zobomi bakho: Uxinzelelo lunokuqala ukuba ufumana isiganeko esibuhlungu esingenakucingelwa (ukwenzakala), ulahlekelwe ngumntu osondeleyo kuwe, okanye ufumana utshintsho olukhulu ebomini (njengokulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi, ukuqhawula umtshato).
- Ezinye izifo: Ukudakumba kungenzeka nakwezinye izifo zomzimba ezifana nomhlaza, isifo seswekile, kunye nesifo sikaParkinson.
Nangona singenakuzilawula ezi zinto, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ungayitshintsha indlela ojongana ngayo noxinzelelo olubangelwa zezi zinto. Oko kuthetha ukuba singakha amandla ethu engqondo. Kwaye, ukuba sele unesifo sokudakumba, ngokuqinisekileyo ungayinqanda ukuba ibe mandundu.
Ungakuthintela njani uxinezeleko ukuba lungabuyi?
Ukuba ukhe waba noxinzelelo ngaphambili waza wanyangwa waza wachacha, kubaluleke kakhulu ukucinga ngokuthintela ukuba lungaphindi lwenzeke. Kukwakho nonyango olukhethekileyo loku.
Abanye oogqirha bezonyango basebenzisa indlela ebizwa ngokuba yiMindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) kule nto. Yindlela entle kakhulu. Ngamafutshane, idibanisa izinto ezimbini eziphambili:
1. Unyango lwengqondo: Oku kukunceda utshintshe indlela ocinga ngayo kunye neendlela zakho zokucinga.
2. Ukuqaphela: Injongo yoku kukuziqhelanisa nokuqaphela okwenzekayo ngoku , ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngexesha elidlulileyo okanye ukoyika ikamva.
Ukudibanisa ezi ndlela zimbini, uza kufunda ukuqaphela iingcinga ezimbi nezingalunganga eziza engqondweni yakho, ukuzilawula, kwaye ungabanjwa zizo.
Ezinye iindlela zonyango lwengqondo, ezinje ngonyango lokunxibelelana nabantu, nazo ziyasebenza kakhulu. Oku kugxila kulwalamano lwakho nabanye abantu, njengosapho, abahlobo, kunye namaqabane. Ngamanye amaxesha olu lwalamano luchaphazela ngqo iingxaki zethu zeemvakalelo.
Ukongeza kwezi ndlela zonyango, ezinye izifundo zifumanise ukuba amayeza athile, utshintsho kwindlela yokuphila, kunye nokungenelela kokutya kunokunciphisa umngcipheko wokubuyela kwisifo soxinzelelo nge-25% nangaphezulu. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka uphando oluthe kratya ngale nto.
Singenza ntoni?
Nangona kungekho ndlela iqinisekileyo yokuthintela ukudakumba, zininzi izinto onokuzenza ukugcina impilo yakho yengqondo iqinile kwaye unciphise umngcipheko wakho. Masiwahlule la macebiso abe ngamacandelo amabini.
| Ingcebiso | Inkcazo |
|---|---|
| I. Iingcebiso ngokubanzi zokuthintela ukudakumba | |
| Ulawulo loxinzelelo kunye nokuzithemba | Fumana iindlela zokulawula uxinzelelo. Izinto ezifana nokucamngca, i-yoga, kunye nokuzilolonga ngokuphefumla nzulu zinokunceda. Yakha ukuzithemba okuhle. |
| Zikhathalele. | Lala ngokwaneleyo yonke imihla. Yitya ukutya okunempilo nokunesondlo . Zilolonge rhoqo . Ezi zinto zibaluleke kakhulu emzimbeni nakwingqondo. |
| Gcina unxibelelwano nabantu. | Ngamaxesha anzima ebomini, musa ukuba wedwa . Thetha nelungu losapho okanye umhlobo othembekileyo. Yabelana ngento ekucingayo. |
| Funa ingcebiso kagqirha. | Fumana uhlolo lwezonyango rhoqo. Ukuba uzive ungaphili kakuhle okanye awuziva uphilile, thetha nogqirha wakho . |
| II. Ukuba sele unexinzelelo, iingcebiso zokuthintela ukuba lungabi mandundu | |
| Landela isicwangciso sonyango. | Landela isicwangciso sonyango sikagqirha wakho ngokuchanekileyo. Ukuba unikwe amayeza, asele njengoko kuyalelwe , nokuba uzive 'uphilile'. Musa ukulibazisa iiseshoni zonyango. |
| Ziphephe utywala neziyobisi. | Nangona utywala nezinye iziyobisi zinokubonakala ngathi zikwenza uzive ungcono okwethutyana, ziphazamisana ne-chemistry yengqondo yakho kwaye zenze kube nzima ukunyanga uxinzelelo. |
| Ziqonde. | Hlala ujonge izinto ezibangela iimpawu zakho. Kungaba yinto efana nokulala kakhulu, okanye umntu othile okanye isiganeko esithile. Kungcono ukuzibhala phantsi ezi zinto uze wabelane ngazo nogqirha wakho. |
| Kuphephe ukwenza izigqibo ezinkulu. | Musa ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ebomini (njengokuyeka umsebenzi okanye ukuphelisa ubudlelwane) ngosuku oziva ulusizi kakhulu okanye udandathekile. Cinga ngako xa uzolile. |
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba, ukuba ucinga ukuba unesifo sokudakumba, ungalindi ucele uncedo. Ukuba ulinda ixesha elide kakhulu, imeko isenokuba mandundu.
Ungathetha nogqirha wakho ngale nto. Angakuthumela kwingcali yezengqondo okanye kwingcali yezengqondo/kwingcali yezonyango. Khumbula, ukudakumba akubobuthathaka. Yimeko enokulawulwa kakuhle ngonyango.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Nangona kungekho siqinisekiso sokuba ukudakumba kunokuthintelwa ngokupheleleyo, umngcipheko wako ungancitshiswa ngokulawula uxinzelelo kunye nokuphila ubomi obusempilweni.
- Ukuba uneempawu zokudakumba (usizi, ukungabi namdla, utshintsho ebuthongweni) kangangeeveki ezingaphezu kwezimbini, bonana nogqirha ngokukhawuleza ukuze akunike ingcebiso. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqala unyango kwangethuba.
- Ukuba sele unyangelwa ukudakumba, landela imiyalelo kagqirha wakho ngokuchanekileyo. Musa ukulibazisa amayeza nonyango.
- Ukulala kakuhle, ukutya okunesondlo, kunye nokuzilolonga rhoqo kubalulekile kwimpilo yengqondo yakho.
- Musa ukuba wedwa ngamaxesha anzima. Thetha nosapho kunye nabahlobo abathembekileyo. Joyina iqela lenkxaso ukuba kuyimfuneko.
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