Ngaba ngamanye amaxesha uziva ngolu hlobo? "Ndingubani? Iyintoni intsingiselo yobu bomi? Ngaba ndinomdla ngokwenene ngento endiyenzayo? Kuza kwenzeka ntoni emva kokuba ndifile?" Ukuba le mibuzo ibisoloko ifika engqondweni yakho, awuwedwa. Le yimeko yengqondo abantu abaninzi abayifumanayo ngaxa lithile ebomini babo, kwaye ngokwezonyango siyibiza ngokuba "yingxaki yokuphila." Ayisosifo, kodwa inokuba ngumthwalo omkhulu ezingqondweni zethu.
Ngamafutshane, yintoni le ngxaki yokuphila?
Oku kungabonakala ngathi ligama elinzulu kakhulu, kodwa intsingiselo ilula kakhulu. Ingxaki yokuphila luludwe lwemibuzo neengcinga eziphazamisayo eziphakamayo ezingqondweni zethu malunga nobomi bethu, ubuwena bethu, injongo yobomi, kunye noko siza kukushiya emva kokufa.
Ngamafutshane, zonke ezi ngcinga zijikeleza kwimibuzo emibini esisiseko: "Ndingubani?" kunye "Iyintoni injongo yobomi bam?"
Khawuzithelekelele uzibuza imibuzo efana nale:
- Ndingubani ngokwenene?
- Kutheni ndazalelwa kweli hlabathi? Iyintoni intsingiselo yobomi bam?
- Ndiza kwenza ntoni ngexesha eliseleyo ebomini bam?
- Ngaba ndiphila ngendlela endifuna ngayo ngokwenene, okanye ngendlela abanye abafuna ndiphile ngayo?
- Ingaba izigqibo endizenzileyo ebomini zichanekile?
Ukuba unayo nayiphi na yale mibuzo engqondweni yakho, yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Kodwa ukuba le mibuzo iyaqhubeka ikukhathaza, ukuba ichaphazela imisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla kunye nolonwabo, kulapho ke kufuneka sicinge ngakumbi ngale nto.
Zifika nini iingcinga ezinje?
Olu hlobo lwengxaki lunokwenzeka nakubani na nokuba uneminyaka emingaphi, kodwa luxhaphake kakhulu ngamaxesha otshintsho olukhulu ebomini.
- Ngexesha lobutsha: Le meko inokuvela, ingakumbi emva kokugqiba isikolo samabanga aphakamileyo naxa kusenziwa izigqibo ngekamva, ngemibuzo efana nokuthi "Ndifuna ukuba ngumntu onjani?" kunye nokuthi "Ndifanele ndenze msebenzi mni?"
- Xa uneminyaka engama-20 ubudala: Xa ucinga ngomsebenzi, umtshato, nokuzinza ebomini, usenokuzibuza, "Ngaba ndikwindlela elungileyo?"
- Kwiminyaka ephakathi nangaphezulu: Xa abantwana bakho bekhula baze bashiye ikhaya, okanye uthatha umhlala-phantsi emsebenzini wakho, iingcinga ezinje ngokuthi "Ndiza kwenza ntoni ngobomi bam bonke?" kunye nokuthi "Ndifezekise ntoni ebomini bam?" zinokuvela.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba le ngxaki yokuphila ayisosifo esibizwa ngokuba yi-"Depression" okanye "Anxiety". Ayisosifo esaziwayo ngugqirha. Yindlela esicinga ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, le ngxaki inokubangela iimeko ezibizwa ngokuba yi-depression okanye i-anxiety, kwaye umntu onezo meko naye unokuhlaselwa yile ngxaki.
Yintoni enokubangela le ngxaki?
Amaxesha amaninzi, le mibuzo inzulu iphakama ngesiganeko esikhulu nesibuhlungu ebomini. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, sinokubangelwa sisiganeko esonwabisayo. Makhe sijonge izizathu eziphambili.
| Unobangela/Isiganeko | Umzekelo |
|---|---|
| Isifo esinzulu | Xa ufumanisa ukuba unesifo esisongela ubomi esifana nomhlaza. |
| Ukufa komntu omthandayo | Ukusweleka komzali, iqabane, umntwana, okanye umhlobo osenyongweni. |
| Utshintsho olukhulu ebomini | Ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi, ukutshata, ukuba nomntwana, ukufudukela kwelinye ilizwe. |
| Ndiziva ndimdala | Abantwana abashiya ikhaya, umhlala-phantsi, utshintsho lomzimba. |
| Amava abuhlungu kakhulu | Kufana nengozi enkulu esanda kuphunyuka ekufeni. |
Ayipheleli nje koku, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ezi ngcinga zinokufika engqondweni ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile. Kwakhona, ukudakumba, isifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuba yi-bipolar disorder, okanye isifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuba yi-obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) nazo zinokubakho.Abantu abaneengxaki zengqondo ezifana ne -Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) banamathuba amaninzi okufumana olu hlobo lwengxaki yokuphila.
Uyazi njani ukuba nawe unayo le ngxaki?
Oku kuyahluka kumntu nomntu, kodwa kukho iimpawu eziqhelekileyo. Masizihlukanise zibe ziindidi ezimbini: ingqondo kunye nomzimba.
| Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zengxaki yokuphila | |
|---|---|
| Iimpawu zengqondo | |
| 1. | Ndihlala ndicinga ngokufa ngenye imini, ndiziva ndisoyika. |
| 2. | Ukuziva ngathi akukho ntsingiselo kwizinto zemihla ngemihla. |
| 3. | Ndisoloko ndiziva ndingedwa emhlabeni. |
| 4. | Ukungakwazi ukufumanisa ukuba ungubani, ukuba ungubani. |
| 5. | Ukuziva ngathi awunakutshintsha okanye ukulawula ubomi bakho. |
| Iimpawu Zomzimba | |
| 1. | Ndiziva ndidangele, ndidiniwe rhoqo. |
| 2. | Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla wokutya okanye ukungakwazi ukulawula ukutya. |
| 3. | Ukungalali okanye ukulala kakhulu. |
| 4. | Ukungakwazi ukufumana ulonwabo kwizinto obukade uzonwabela ukuzenza. |
Kodwa khumbula, ezi mpawu zomzimba zihlala zinxulunyaniswa neemeko ezifana nokudakumba okanye ixhala elinokubakho kule ngxaki. Ukuba unamathandabuzo malunga noku, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukuthetha nogqirha wakho. Angakuxelela kanye into onayo ngokusekelwe kwiimpawu zakho kunye neendlela ocinga ngazo.
Kulungile, ngoko ke singayijongana njani nale nto?
Eli lithuba lomntu ngamnye, kwaye indlela umntu ngamnye ajongana ngayo nale meko yahlukile. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iingcebiso ezibanzi ezinokukunceda udlule kule ngxaki.
- Thetha nomntu omthembayo: Ngamaxesha anje, sihlala sikhetha ukuzihlukanisa. Kodwa oko kwenza ingxaki ibe mandundu. Ungathetha ngento ekucingayo, uthethe nomhlobo, iqabane, okanye umzali omthembayo. Ukubazisa ngemeko yakho kuya kukunika amandla okufuna uncedo lweengcali ukuba kuyimfuneko.
- Zama ukutshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo: Kusenokungabi lula, kodwa zama ukucinga kakuhle ngobomi namava akho angaphambili endaweni yokucinga ngendlela engafanelekanga. Endaweni yokucinga, "Ndisilele," cinga, "Ndifunde isifundo kuloo mava." Ukuba oku kunzima ukukwenza wedwa, funa uncedo kumcebisi.
- Ukucamngca: Ukucamngca nokuziqhelanisa nokucinga kakuhle kunokukunceda ugxile engqondweni yakho kwaye ulawule iingcinga ezingafunekiyo. Kuya kukukhuthaza ukuba ufumane uvuyo kwizinto ezincinci ebomini bakho bemihla ngemihla.
- Gcina idayari okanye ideyari: Ukubhala phantsi iingcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ephepheni yindlela entle yokukhulula ingqondo yakho. Kwakhona, zama ukubhala phantsi izisombululo onokuzicinga kwiingxaki ezikukhathazayo.
Ukuba, nangona konke oku, usenengxaki yokulahla ezi ngcinga, musa ukuba neentloni ngazo. Musa ukubandezeleka wedwa.Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna uncedo kwingcali yezonyango/umcebisi ofanelekileyo. Yenye yezona zinto zinkulu onokuzenzela zona. Ugqirha wakho wosapho angakuthumela kumntu ofanelekileyo kuwe.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ingxaki yoBukho ayisosifo. Yindlela yokucinga ephakamayo malunga nemiba enzulu yobomi.
- Le yimeko eqhelekileyo enokwenzeka nakubani na ngamaxesha otshintsho olukhulu ebomini.
- Nangona oku kwahlukile kuxinzelelo okanye ixhala, kunokwenzeka kunye nezo meko.
- Ungayilungisa le meko ngokuthetha nomntu omthembileyo, ucinge ngendlela eyakhayo, ucamngce, kwaye ubhale phantsi yonke into eyenzekayo.
- Ukuba ezi ngcinga zinzima kakhulu ukuba ungalawula, ungathandabuzi ukuthetha nogqirha wakho okanye nomcebisi ofanelekileyo. Asikobuthathaka, ngamandla.
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