Ingabe udinga nokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo ukuze ukhangeke ngokocansi nothile? (Ubungqingili) Ake sixoxe ngakho!

Ingabe nawe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa ngale ndlela? Lapho abangane bakho bethi izinto ezinjengokuthi, “O, muhle, ngiyamthanda” lapho uqala ukuhlangana nomuntu omusha, awunawo lowo muzwa? Noma uzizwa ukhangwa umuntu ngokocansi kuphela ngemva kokuba usumazi kahle, usunobungane obuseduze, noma ususondelene kakhulu? Yilolo hlobo lwesimo esizokhuluma ngaso namuhla. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ‘ubulili obufanayo’.

Kuyini 'ukuthandana kwabantu bobulili obufanayo'?

Kalula nje, 'i-Demisexuality' iwukuthambekela kocansi . Abantu abazibiza ngokuthi 'i-Demisexuality' bakhangwa othile kuphela ngemva kokuba sebehlanganise isibopho esijulile ngokomzwelo nalowo muntu. Uma kuqhathaniswa nabantu abaningi, abantu abaningi 'i-Demisexual' abavamile ukukhangwa ngokocansi . Abanye bangase babe nentshisekelo encane kakhulu emisebenzini yocansi, noma bangabi nantshisekelo nhlobo.

Cabanga ngakho, abantu abaningi bangazizwa bekhangwa ngokocansi ngothile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi banokuxhumana ngokomzwelo naye noma cha. Bangakhangwa ngokocansi ngomuntu abangamazi noma abahlangana naye okokuqala. Kodwa 'umuntu othanda ubulili obufanayo' akazizwa ekhangwa ngokocansi okokuqala.

Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi ukuxhumana kwengqondo kuzoholela ekukhangeni ngokocansi. Kodwa-ke, lokho kuxhumana kubalulekile ngisho nasekucabangeni ngomsebenzi wocansi. Ngisho noma kwenzeka ukukhangwa okunjalo ngokocansi, isifiso somsebenzi wocansi sivame ukuba namandla aphansi.

Isikhathi esithathwayo ukuze lolu xhumano lwemizwa lukhule siyahlukahluka kuye ngomuntu nomuntu. Kwabanye 'abathandana nabobulili obufanayo', lolu xhumano lungakhula ngokushesha. Kwabanye, lungenzeka ngemva kweminyaka eminingi yokuthandana. Lokhu kuxhumana ngokomzwelo akudingeki kube 'umuzwa wothando'. Kungaba futhi ubungane obuseduze nobunobungane.

Ngingazi kanjani ukuthi ngingubani? Ingabe kukhona ukuhlolwa kokuthi 'ubulili obufanayo'?

Cha, akukho ukuhlolwa okungakutshela ngqo ukuthi ubulili bakho buyini. Kodwa ungazibuza le mibuzo:

• Ubani omthandayo ngokocansi? Bakwenza uzizwe kanjani?
• Ingabe uzizwa ukhangwa ngokocansi? Uma kunjalo, kangaki? Unamandla kangakanani lowo muzwa?
• Kubaluleke kangakanani ukukhangwa ngokocansi uma unquma ukuthandana nothile?
• Ingabe uzithola ukhangwa ngokocansi ngabantu abasha ohlangana nabo, ongabazi?

Azikho izimpendulo ezilungile noma ezingalungile kule mibuzo.Kodwa ukucabanga ngale mibuzo kungaba yisiqalo sokuba uqonde ukuthi ungumuntu onjani ngokobulili .

Kusho ukuthini ukuba ``asexual`` noma ukuba ``on the ` asexual spectrum`` ?

Abantu abazibiza ngokuthi "abangathandi ucansi" abakuthandi ucansi kakhulu noma abakuthandi nhlobo. Bangase balahlekelwe nayisithakazelo ezindabeni zocansi.

Abantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo ngezinye izikhathi bahlukaniswa ngegama elithi "abangathandi ucansi" ngoba abazizwa bekhangwa ucansi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa-ke, bangazizwa bekhangwa ucansi futhi benesithakazelo ezintweni zocansi ngemva kokwakha isibopho esingokomzwelo nothile.

Okuphambene nalokho okungenabo ubulili obufanayo yi-allosexual. Abantu abazibiza ngokuthi bangabantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo bavame ukuba nokukhangwa ngokocansi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bathandani ngokocansi.

Uyini umehluko phakathi kwe-'Demisexual' kanye ne-'Graysexual'?

I-'Demisexuality' kanye ne-'Graysexuality' zifana kancane, kodwa kunomehluko omncane. Abantu abazibiza ngokuthi 'Graysexuality' abavamile ukuzwa ukukhangwa ngokocansi, noma abanaso isifiso esincane sokuzibandakanya emsebenzini wocansi. Kodwa-ke, ngokungafani nabantu 'Demisexual', abantu 'Graysexual' abadingi uxhumano olungokomzwelo ukuze bazizwe bekhangwa ngokocansi. Yilowo umehluko omkhulu.

Kuyini lokhu 'uDemiromantic'?

I-'Demiromanticism' ifana ne-'Demiromanticality', kodwa kunomehluko omncane. Ukuze umuntu 'othanda abantu abathanda abantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo' azizwele imizwa yothando ngothile, kumele aqale abe nokuxhumana kwengqondo nalowo muntu. Asikhulumi ngokukhangwa ngokocansi, sikhuluma ngemizwa yothando lapha. Noma ubani onomqondo wobulili obufanayo angaba 'othanda abantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo'.

Uyini umehluko phakathi kwe-'Demisexual' kanye ne-'Pansexual'?

Abantu abazibiza ngokuthi "ama-Pansexual" bakhangwa ngokocansi yinoma ubani, kungakhathaliseki ubulili babo noma ubulili babo . Umuntu angaba "ama-Pansexual" kanye "nama-Demisexual" ngesikhathi esifanayo. Lokhu kusho ukuthi bangakhangwa ngumuntu onobunye ubulili, kodwa ukuze lokho kukhangwa kwenzeke, ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo okukhulunywe ngakho ngenhla kumele kuqale kwenzeke.

Ingabe umuntu angaba `owesilisa noma owesifazane` noma ngabe 'uqondile' (owesilisa noma owesifazane)?

Yebo, kungenzeka ngempela. Siyazi ukuthi kunezinhlobo eziningana zamalebula okuthambekela kobulili, njenge-'Heterosexual' (ekhangwa ubulili obuhlukile), 'Gay' (ubulili obufanayo), 'Lesbian' (ubulili obufanayo), 'Bisexual' (ekhangwa ubulili bobabili) kanye ne-'Pansexual' (ekhangwa yizo zonke izinhlobo zobulili).

Ilebula elithi 'Demisexuality' lihlukile. Libhekisela esimweni sokukhanga okuzwiwa abanye kanye nendlela okuvela ngayo.Mayelana. Abantu abaningi baziveza ngazo zombili izindlela. Isibonelo, ungaba `u-Heterosexual` kodwa futhi ube `u-Demisexual`, noma ungaba `u-Pansexual` kodwa futhi ube `u-Demisexual`. Kalula nje, `u-Demisexuality` akukhona ukuthi ubani okukhangayo, kodwa ukuthi lokho kukhanga kwenzeka kanjani.

Kungani lokhu 'kobulili obufanayo' kudinga ilebula noma igama elihlukile?

Ungase uzibuze nalokhu. Eqinisweni, kubantu abaningi abazibiza ngokuthi 'abathandana nabobulili obufanayo', ukuba naleli gama kubanika umuzwa womphakathi kanye nowokuba yingxenye yomphakathi, umuzwa wokuthi ababodwa nokuthi bakhona abanye abafana nabo .

Cabanga nje, mhlawumbe bebelokhu becindezelekile futhi bedidekile kusukela ebuntwaneni, bezibuza, "Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle ngami?", "Ingabe ngihlukile kwabanye?", ngoba abanalo uthando noma intshisekelo efanayo ezintweni zocansi njengabangane babo ababazungezile.

Igama elithi `Demisexuality` libalulekile ngalezi zizathu:

• Kusiza abantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo ukuthola umphakathi lapho bengaziveza khona.
• Ukuthola ubuwena babo kusiza abantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo bazizwe bephephile futhi baqaphele ukuthi ababodwa .
• Futhi, leli gama lisiza ukuqonda ukuthi ukukhangana ngokocansi kanye nemizwa kuyinto evamile futhi kungabonwa ngendlela ehlukile ngumuntu ngamunye, 'nge-spectrum', nokuthi yonke leyo mizwa 'iyasebenza' .
• Leli gama libanika igama lokuchaza ngokucacile into abayibonayo ababengenakuyichaza ngamazwi ngaphambilini.

Okokugcina, izinto okufanele uzikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Ngakho-ke, ngithemba ukuthi uyaqonda okuthile kulokho esikhulume ngakho. Igama elithi 'Demisexual' libhekisela kubantu abazizwa bekhangwa ngokocansi kuphela ngemva kokwakha isibopho esijulile ngokomzwelo nothile.

Ukuthandana kwabantu bobulili obufanayo kuhlukaniswa ngaphansi kwesigaba sokungathandana kwabantu bobulili obufanayo, njengoba abantu abathandana nabantu bobulili obufanayo nabo benezifiso zocansi eziphansi kunezivamile. Kodwa-ke, abantu abathandana nabantu bobulili obufanayo bayiqembu elikhethekile ngokwabo, njengoba bengakha ukukhangwa ngokocansi kanye nesifiso sokuzibandakanya emsebenzini wobulili ngemva kokwakha leso sibopho esingokomzwelo nothile.

Ukukhuluma ngalezi zinto ngezinye izikhathi kungaba nzima emphakathini wethu, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuziqonda nokuhlonipha imizwa yakho.

Uma unale mizwa futhi udinga usizo lokukhuluma ngayo kabanzi, noma ukuyiqonda, ungabi namahloni. Bona udokotela noma umeluleki ofanelekayo. Bangakusiza ukuthi uhlole le mizwa, bakunike izinsiza ozidingayo ukuze uthole ubuwena bakho, futhi bakuqondise. Awuwedwa!