Ese nawe urwaye ibitekerezo by'imibonano mpuzabitsina? Ese ibi bijyanye no kuba umuntu ukunda imibonano mpuzabitsina?

Ese hari igihe wumva udashobora kugenzura ibitekerezo by'imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibyifuzo, cyangwa ibikorwa bimwe na bimwe by'imibonano mpuzabitsina biza mu mutwe wawe, kandi ibyo bintu birimo kuzenguruka mu mutwe wawe, kandi ko umunsi wawe wose, ubuzima bwawe bwose, ari byo bikureba? Niba ibi bigutera stress nyinshi, agahinda, n'isoni, kandi niba bibangamira ibikorwa byawe bya buri munsi, imibanire yawe n'umuryango, n'akazi, uyu munsi turimo kuvuga ku ngingo ishobora kuba ingenzi kuri wewe.

Ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ni iki?

Mu magambo make, kuba umuntu akunda imibonano mpuzabitsina ni ukwishyira mu mwanya w’ibintu bidasanzwe mu bijyanye n’ibitekerezo by’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibyifuzo, cyangwa ibikorwa. Iyi ndwara ishobora kugutera stress kandi ikangiza ubuzima bwawe, imibanire yawe n’umuryango wawe, akazi, cyangwa ibindi bice by’ubuzima bwawe. Abantu benshi bakoresha ijambo "kuba umuntu akunda imibonano mpuzabitsina" kugira ngo bayisobanure. Ariko, abaganga cyangwa abahanga mu by’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe bashobora no kuyita "Imyitwarire y’imibonano mpuzabitsina isaba imbaraga", "Imyitwarire y’imibonano mpuzabitsina isaba imbaraga nyinshi", "Uburyo bwo gushishikarira imibonano mpuzabitsina", "Indwara y’imibonano mpuzabitsina isaba imbaraga nyinshi", "Guhatirwa imibonano mpuzabitsina", cyangwa "Gushaka imibonano mpuzabitsina". Akenshi bifitanye isano n’ibintu bishobora kuboneka mu buzima bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibyo bivuze ibintu nko kwikinisha, kureba porunogarafiya, gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kuri telefoni, gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kuri interineti, kugira abakunzi barenze umwe. Ariko, niba ibitekerezo n’ibikorwa byawe by’imibonano mpuzabitsina byinjira mu buzima bwawe bwose, noneho dutekereza ko bishobora kuba ari ukuba umuntu akunda imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ese ibi bisa n'ibindi bintu biyobyabwenge?

Yego rwose. Icyo "kiyumviro cyo kuba umuntu ukunda ibiyobyabwenge" nacyo kiri muri ibi. Nk'uko umuntu wasabitswe n'inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge yumva afite icyifuzo gikomeye kuri ibyo bintu, ni ko yumva ameze ku bijyanye n'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ntibigenzurwa, birababaza, ntibishoboka kunyurwa uko wabikora kose, ni nk'imodoka igenda kuri 'autopilot'. Uzi ko ibi bizagira ingaruka mbi, ariko ukomeza kubikora. Tekereza, niba hari abantu batekereza ku mibonano mpuzabitsina kuva babyutse mu gitondo kugeza baryamye nijoro, bakibagirwa akazi kabo n'umuryango wabo, ukuntu bibabaza.

Iyi ndwara ikunze kugaragara gute? Ni nde wibasirwa cyane?

Dukurikije imibare y’Abanyamerika, iyi ndwara ifata hagati ya 3% na 10% by’abaturage muri rusange. Ikunze kugaragara cyane mu bahungu kurusha abakobwa. Kuri buri bagabo babiri bafite ubushake bwo guhuza ibitsina, umugore umwe kuri batanu ni we uyirwara. Ubusanzwe iyi ndwara itangira ahagana ku myaka 18. Ariko, abantu benshi bashaka ubufasha bw’inzobere bageze ku myaka 37. Ibyo bivuze ko barwana n’iki kibazo bonyine igihe kirekire.Byongeye kandi, byagaragaye ko abantu bagera kuri 88% bafite iyi ndwara bafite n'ibindi bibazo by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe. Bimwe muri ibyo harimo:

• Indwara zo mu mutwe, nka Bipolar Disorder.
• Indwara zo guhangayika .
• Nagerageje kwiyahura mbere.
• Indwara z'imico.
• Ibindi bintu biyobyabwenge .
• Indwara zo kugenzura impagarara.
• Indwara yo kwiheba no guhangayika ( OCD ) ni indwara irangwa n'ibitekerezo n'ibikorwa byinjira mu muntu.
• Indwara yo kudakora neza ( ADHD ).

Ese kuba umuntu ukunda imibonano mpuzabitsina bifatwa nk'indwara yo mu mutwe?

Hari impaka kuri ibi. Ishyirahamwe ry’Abanyamerika ryita ku ndwara zo mu mutwe ryanze icyifuzo cyo gushyira indwara y’ubugizi bwa nabi bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu gitabo cyabo cy’ubushakashatsi n’imibare ku ndwara zo mu mutwe, igitabo cya gatanu (DSM-5). Bavuze ko impamvu y’ibi ari ukubura ibimenyetso bihagije n’impungenge ku ngaruka zishobora guterwa no kwita imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane "indwara."

Ni ibihe bintu umuntu nk'uyu atekereza kandi yumva?

Umuntu ufite ikibazo cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina ashobora kugira ibyiyumvo nk'ibi bikurikira:

• Kumva ufite icyaha, isoni, cyangwa wicuza.
• Kumva nta cyizere ufite ku bijyanye n'imyitwarire iterwa n'ibiyobyabwenge, kumva ko utabasha kuyigenzura.
• Kwiheba , kwigunga.
• Ubwoba, guhangayika.
• Ntibitangaje kuba abantu bumva bashaka kwiyahura.

Tekereza ukuntu byaba ari ikibazo kikubayeho uramutse wumva ufite isoni kandi ubabajwe n'ikintu ukora, ariko udashobora kugihagarika?

Ni ibihe bimenyetso by'ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina?

Nubwo nta bipimo byihariye bihari byo gusuzuma hypersexual, hari ibintu byinshi bisanzwe bishobora kugaragara ku muntu ufite iyi ndwara:

• Ukunda imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane. Utekereza ku byifuzo by'imibonano mpuzabitsina, ukishora mu myitwarire y'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibi bigutwara igihe kinini cy'umunsi.
• Ushobora kwikinisha rimwe cyangwa inshuro nyinshi ku munsi.
• Ukunda kureba amashusho y'urukozasoni. Ibyo bivuze amashusho, ibinyamakuru by'abantu bakuru, imbuga za interineti kuri interineti, webcams, n'ibindi. Ukunda kwikinisha ureba amashusho y'urukozasoni.
• Umara umwanya munini utegura ibikorwa by'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Umara umwanya munini ushakisha aho n'uburyo bwo kubona "ibinezeza" byawe by'imibonano mpuzabitsina.
• Ukoresha serivisi z'imibonano mpuzabitsina buri gihe. Iki ni ikibazo gikomeye, kuko ubu umuntu aba ari mu bikorwa byawe. Bishobora kuba nko kohererezanya ubutumwa kuri telefoni, kuvugana binyuze kuri interineti, kwishyura amafaranga y'imibonano mpuzabitsina, kujya mu tubyiniro tw'abantu badafite igitsina, kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi, kugirana abakunzi benshi.
• Imyitwarire yawe irahinduka imibonano mpuzabitsina idafite ishingiro. Ahari imibonano mpuzabitsina ijyana n'imyitwarire iteje akaga nko gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge, gushotorana mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, cyangwa "kwiha akantu gato" (kwiyima umwuka kugira ngo ushishikazwe n'imibonano mpuzabitsina ).
• Gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina inyuranyije n'amahame yawe bwite, imyizerere y'idini, cyangwa ibyo umuryango wemera.
• Akenshi ukunda kuvuga ibintu byitwa `(Paraphilia)`. Izi ni imyitwarire y'imibonano mpuzabitsina itera ihungabana ryo mu mutwe, gukomeretsa, cyangwa ndetse no gupfa undi muntu. Urugero: `(Exhibitionism)`, `(Voyeurism)`, `(Sadomasochism)`, na `(Pedophilia)`.
• Ntushobora guhagarika iyi myitwarire y'imibonano mpuzabitsina, nubwo yaba ifite ingaruka mbi ku mafaranga yawe, imibanire yawe, ubuzima bwawe, n'ubugingo bwawe.

Ni izihe ngorane ibi bishobora gutera?

Ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bushobora gutera ibibazo nk'ibi:

• Utakaza umubano usanzwe kandi mwiza n'uwo mwashakanye ndetse n'abagize umuryango wawe.
• Kubera ko udashobora kwibanda ku kazi kawe neza, kureba amashusho y'urukozasoni ku kazi bishobora gutuma akazi kawe kangirika ndetse ushobora no gutakaza akazi kawe.
• Gukoresha amafaranga mu bikorwa by'imibonano mpuzabitsina bitera ibibazo by'amafaranga.
• Ibibazo by'ubuzima. Gutwita, kwandura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina nka VIH, Hepatite B na C, Syphilis, na Gonorrhea bishobora kubaho.
• Guhindukira ukajya mu gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa kunywa inzoga nyinshi.
• Indwara zo mu mutwe nko guhangayika, guhangayika, kwiheba, no gutekereza kwiyahura.
• Niba urimo gukora ibyaha by’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ushobora no gufungwa.
• Kumva umutwaro uremereye mu mutwe bitewe n'ibintu nko kwicira urubanza, isoni no gucika intege.

Ni izihe mpamvu zitera ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina?

Abahanga mu bya siyansi ntibaramenya neza icyabitera, ariko hari inyigisho zimwe na zimwe zigaragaza ko bishobora guterwa na:

• Kutagera ku bintu bimwe na bimwe mu bwonko bwawe.Ubwiyongere bw'urugero cyangwa imikorere y'ibinyabutabire byitwa "neurotransmitters", nka "Dopamine", "Norepinephrine", na "Serotonin", bitanga ubutumwa mu bwonko, bishobora kongera ubushake n'imyitwarire mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.
• Indwara cyangwa kwangirika kw'ibice by'ubwonko bigenzura imyitwarire y'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Iyi ndwara ishobora kandi guterwa n'indwara nka `(Dementia)`, `(Epilepsy)`, `(Bipolar Disorder)`, cyangwa kwangirika kw'ibice by'ubwonko nka `(Frontal lobe)`, `(Amygdala)`, `(Prefrontal cortex)`.
• Imikorere y'ubwonko irahinduka, bigatuma habaho inzira nshya z'imitsi zituma umuntu agira imyitwarire imubangamira.
• Gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge, cyane cyane kokayine, amfetamine, n'inzoga.
• Nk'ingaruka mbi z'imiti imwe n'imwe. Urugero ni umuti witwa "Levodopa" ukoreshwa mu kuvura indwara ya Parkinson.

Ni gute wamenya iyi ndwara?

Iyo ugiye kwa muganga cyangwa umujyanama mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe , bazakubaza ibintu nk'ibi:

• Ku bijyanye n'ubuzima bwawe ubu, indwara usanzwe ufite, indwara zo mu muryango wawe, hamwe n'imiti, vitamine, n'ibikomoka ku bimera ufata.
• Ese ukoresha ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa inzoga?
• Bazakubaza ibitekerezo byawe by'imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibyifuzo byawe, n'imyitwarire yawe, urwego rw'ubushobozi ufite kuri byo, hamwe n'ibindi bimenyetso byose by'imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Muganga ashobora kandi gusaba umuryango wawe n'inshuti uburenganzira bwo gusaba amakuru. Muganga azagerageza kandi gukuraho izindi ndwara, nka bipolar disorder, hyperandrogenism, ihungabana, ibibazo by'imibanire, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), na Tourette's disorder, kuko hypersexuality na yo ishobora kuba ikimenyetso cy'izindi ndwara. Kuri ubu, nta ngingo zemewe zo gusuzuma hypersexual. Ariko, abahanga mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe b'inzobere mu businzi bashobora kumenya imyitwarire y'imibonano mpuzabitsina igira ingaruka ku buzima bwawe kandi bakagusaba ubuvuzi bukwiye.

Ivurwa ite?

Kuvura ubusinzi bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina, cyangwa ubutinganyi bukabije , bikubiyemo imiti ivanze, imiti yo mu mutwe, no kwitabira amatsinda yo kwifasha.

Imiti

Nta muti wihariye wemejwe ku businzi bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ariko, ushobora kugerageza imiti igira ingaruka ku misemburo n'ibinyabutabire biri mu bwonko bigenzura "ibyifuzo n'imyitwarire," ndetse n'imiti ivura indwara nk'izo. Muganga wawe azasuzuma n'izindi ndwara zo mu mutwe zawe maze aguhe umuti ukubereye.

• Imiti igabanya kwiheba: Imiti yo mu bwoko bwa SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) ifatwa nk'uburyo bwa mbere bwo kuvura ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.
• Imiti igenzura imisemburo y'abagabo (Anti-androgens):Ibi bikora hibandwa ku misemburo y'abagabo. Ni ingirakamaro mu kugabanya ibitekerezo bikabije. Ushobora kubigerageza igihe ufite imyitwarire ikabije ku buryo ishobora guteza akaga abandi.
• Naltrexone (Vivitrol®, Revia®): Uyu muti, ukoreshwa mu kuvura ubusinzi bw'inzoga n'ibiyobyabwenge bya opioid, byagaragaye ko ufasha no mu businzi bw'urusimbi. Ushobora kandi gufasha mu businzi bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina.
• Ibituma umuntu ahora yumva ameze neza: Ibi bishobora kugufasha niba ufite indwara nk'indwara ya bipolar ijyana no kurakara cyangwa kurakara cyane, kandi ubusambanyi bukabije ni kimwe mu bigize iyo ndwara. Ingero zirimo lithium, valproate (Depakote®), na carbamazepine (Tegretol®).
• Imiti igabanya guhangayika: Niba guhangayika ari byo bitera imyitwarire yawe mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, ushobora kugerageza iyi miti. Buspirone ni imwe mu ngero zishobora gufasha.
• Indi miti: Niba ufite ikibazo cyo gutekereza cyangwa gushyuha gukabije, ushobora gutekereza ku miti igabanya ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Iyi miti ishobora kugabanya ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, gushyuha no gushyuha. Niba ufite ikibazo cyo kudakora neza (ADHD) (gifitanye isano no gufata imiti igabanya ibyago byo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina), imiti nka methylphenidate na dextroamphetamine ishobora kugufasha.

Ubuvuzi bw'imitekerereze

Ubuvuzi bw'imitekerereze ni uburyo bugizwe n'ibyiciro byinshi. Muri ubu buryo, uganira n'umujyanama mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe . Agufasha kumenya no gucunga ibintu bitera kandi bikarushaho gukaza imyitwarire yawe ishingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina. Ubu buvuzi buhabwa abantu ku giti cyabo, imiryango, abashakanye, ndetse n'abandi. Kubera ko ubusinzi bw'umuntu mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bugira ingaruka kuri buri wese.

• Ubuvuzi bw'imyitwarire mu buryo bw'ubwenge (CBT): Ubu buvuzi bw'imitekerereze bugenda busimbura ibitekerezo n'imyitwarire mibi yawe n'ubundi buryo bwo kugabanya irari ry'imibonano mpuzabitsina no kubikemura neza.
• Ubuvuzi bwo Kwemera no Kwiyemeza (ACT): Ubu buryo bukoresha uburyo bwo kwemera no kwitonda. Intego ni ugufasha abantu kwakira imihangayiko bumva no guhindura isano bafitanye n'ibyo bitekerezo, aho guhindura ibitekerezo byabo.
• Ikiganiro cy'ibanga: Ubu buryo bwo kuvura indwara z'imitekerereze bugufasha mu gusuzuma ubwawe uburyo ukoresha ibiyobyabwenge mu bijyanye n'intego zawe bwite n'indangagaciro zawe.

Amatsinda yo gufasha abantu kwifasha

Ibi bikurikiza gahunda y’intambwe 12 ya Alcoholics Anonymous. Hari amatsinda menshi, nka Sex Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, na Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. Ushobora gusura imbuga za interineti z’iyi miryango kugira ngo ubone ishami riri hafi yawe.

Ese ibi bishobora kwirindwa?

Kuba ushobora kwirinda ubusinzi bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa utabishobora biterwa n'impamvu nyamukuru. Hari igihe bishobora kuba ihindagurika ry'ibinyabutabire mu bwonko. Cyangwa, bishobora kuba ingaruka cyangwa ikimenyetso cy'indi ndwara. Hari ibintu byinshi bigira uruhare mu iterambere ry'ubusinzi bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ariko, nubwo udashobora kubigenzura byose, ushobora kugenzura bimwe mu bintu bishobora gutera ibitekerezo byawe, ibyifuzo byawe, ibyifuzo byawe, n'ibikorwa byawe. Ibi birimo:

• Menya ibijyanye no kuba umuntu ukunda imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa gushyuha cyane. Wamaze gutera intambwe ya mbere usomye iyi nkuru!
• Reba muganga wawe cyangwa umujyanama mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe . Barahari kugira ngo bagufashe, uhereye ku burezi.
• Hindura ibintu uzi ko bigutera kwiyanga. Guhagarika imbuga za interineti z'urukozasoni n'izindi mbuga z'imibonano mpuzabitsina kuri mudasobwa yawe. Irinde imihanda ifite utubyiniro tw'imyenda ya strip hanyuma ufate inzira itandukanye. Tekereza ku zindi mpinduka ushobora gukora.
• Shaka ubufasha ku bibazo byo gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge. Niba unywa inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge, ubushobozi bwawe bwo kugenzura irari ry'ibitsina bushobora kugabanuka. Saba muganga wawe ubufasha bwo kubihagarika.
• Gucunga neza izindi ndwara zo mu mutwe. Niba ufite izindi ndwara zo mu mutwe, nko kwiheba, guhangayika, cyangwa indwara ya bipolar, menya neza ko ukurikiza amabwiriza yose ya muganga wawe yo guhangana n’izo ndwara. Niba wumva ko indwara yawe yahindutse, fata gahunda yo kubonana na muganga.
• Shyira imbaraga zawe ku bintu bizima. Iyo umubiri wawe wibanze ku kindi kintu, ubwenge bwawe nabwo bushobora guhinduka no kwibandaho. Gira akazi kenshi. Kina siporo, winjire mu matsinda, utangire imyidagaduro, korera mu miryango ifasha abandi, siporo, gutekereza ku bintu bishya, gukora yoga, cyangwa kugerageza ubundi buryo bwo kugabanya stress.
• Ihangane, komeza kwibanda ku ntego zawe. Guhangana n'ubusinzi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ni inshingano y'ubuzima bwawe bwose. Ni wowe ugomba kwibanda ku bintu by'ingenzi mu buzima bwawe no gusana umubano wangiritse. Urashobora kubikora. Itsinda ryawe ryose ry'ubuvuzi riri hano kugufasha. Reka bagufashe.

Namenya nte ko mfite ikibazo cy'imibonano mpuzabitsina?

Ese imyitwarire yawe y'imibonano mpuzabitsina igutera kumva utameze neza cyangwa ikakubangamira mu bintu by'ingenzi by'ubuzima bwawe? Ese ibi bintu birakubaho?

• Ese ntusinzira bitewe n'ibitekerezo cyangwa ibikorwa by'imibonano mpuzabitsina?
• Ese ugiye gutinda ku kazi?
• Ese urimo kwirengagiza inshingano zawe?
• Ese ubeshya umuryango wawe cyangwa uhisha amabanga?
• Ese ukeneye ibikorwa by'imibonano mpuzabitsina bikomeye kurushaho kugira ngo ubone urwego rumwe rw'imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa unyurwe?
• Ese ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n'abantu cyangwa ahantu utari guhitamo kubera ubushake bwawe bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina?
• Ese umara amasaha menshi ureba porunogarafiya?
• Ese wigeze ugira, cyangwa ushobora kugira, ibibazo by'amategeko cyangwa igihombo cy'amafaranga bitewe n'imyitwarire yawe y'imibonano mpuzabitsina?
• Ese inzozi zawe z'imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibyifuzo byawe, cyangwa imyitwarire yawe iguca intege mu bwenge, mu byiyumvo, no mu mubiri?
• Ese imyitwarire yawe mu mibonano mpuzabitsina inyuranye n'amahame yawe bwite, iyobokamana, cyangwa imyizerere yawe?
• Ese wumva ufite isoni, wicuza, wihebye, wicira urubanza, uri wenyine, cyangwa utekereza kwiyahura nyuma y'imyitwarire yawe y'imibonano mpuzabitsina?

Niba usubije "yego" kuri kimwe muri ibi bibazo, ni byiza gufata gahunda yo kubonana na muganga. Ashobora kukwohereza kwa muganga w’indwara zo mu mutwe cyangwa uw’imitekerereze ya muntu. Niba ufite ibitekerezo byo kwiyahura, jya kwa muganga ako kanya, cyangwa uhamagare 1926 (National Mental Health Helpline).

Ese hari isano iri hagati yo kuba umuntu ukunda imibonano mpuzabitsina n'ihungabana?

Hashobora kubaho isano. Imyitwarire ikabije y'imibonano mpuzabitsina ishobora kwiyongera mu bihe byo kwiheba no kwiheba. Imiti igabanya kwiheba ishobora no gusubiza ibimenyetso by'ihungabana.

Muri make, ibintu tugomba kwibuka

Niba irari ryawe ry'imibonano mpuzabitsina n'ibikorwa byawe bigutera agahinda, bikigarurira ubuzima bwawe, kandi bikangiza ubuzima bwawe bwite, umwuga wawe, cyangwa umuryango wawe, iki ni cyo gihe cyo kuvugana na muganga wawe. Abantu benshi ntibashaka kuvurwa kubera isoni cyangwa kwicira urubanza. Itsinda ry'abaganga ntiricira urubanza ku myitwarire yawe y'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Barahari kugira ngo bagufashe.

Wibuke ko utari wenyine. Hari abantu benshi bahura n'ibibazo nk'ibi, kandi hari uburyo bwinshi bwo kubona ubufasha.

Ibisubizo byiza biva mu gukorana na buri wese - umuryango wawe, umukunzi wawe, itsinda ry'abaganga bawe, kandi ikiruta byose, kuba inyangamugayo kuri wowe ubwawe. Hari uburyo bwinshi bwo kuvura buhari bwo kugufasha. Shyira ku ruhande isoni zawe n'ubwoba bwawe maze usabe ubufasha.

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