Tekereza urimo kuganira gato n'uwo mwashakanye . Ikiganiro gihita gihinduka intambara. Mu buryo butunguranye, wumva ibintu byose biri mu mutwe wawe biri mu kajagari, ntushobora gutekereza, usigarana uburakari, agahinda, ubwoba. Wumva nk'aho ikiziba cyaturitse kandi amarangamutima menshi arimo kukwinjiramo... Ntushobora kubona amagambo, ntushobora gutekereza icyo wakora. Urashaka kuva aho ngaho mu buryo runaka. Ese wigeze uhura n'ikintu nk'iki? Ibi ni byo twita gusa ku bijyanye n'amarangamutima .
Mu magambo make, "Emotional Flooding" ni iki?
Imyuzure y'amarangamutima si indwara. Ni imimerere yo mu mutwe duhura nayo. Muri make, ni igihe amarangamutima yawe (nk'agahinda, uburakari, ubwoba) adashobora kwihanganira bitewe n'ikintu runaka, maze ukananirwa kugenzura amarangamutima yawe. Nk'uko kongera amazi mu ndobo y'amazi bituma arenga, iyo amarangamutima yawe arenze urugero, ararenga.
Ni nko gukuraho ibice by'igitunguru. Iyo dukuyeho ibice, hari byinshi biba inyuma y'ibibera. Icyo gikorwa, uko ubona icyo gikorwa, uko ucyumva, n'uko witabira icyo cyiyumvo ... ibi byose bihurira hamwe kugira ngo bireme ubunararibonye bw'amarangamutima. Ndetse n'abahanga mu by'imitekerereze y'abantu bamaze imyaka myinshi barwana no kumenya neza amakuru nyayo.
Ni ibihe bimenyetso by'ingenzi wumva mu bihe nk'ibi?
Ibimenyetso by'amarangamutima bisa kuri buri wese. Bishobora kandi kugorana kubitandukanya kuko bisa n'ibimenyetso by'ibindi bihe bihangayikisha. Reka turebe ibimenyetso by'ingenzi.
| Ibiranga | Mu magambo make ... |
|---|---|
| Gutekereza ibintu mu buryo butari bwo, bubi (Gukora ku ruhande rw'isuzuma) | Aha niho ubona imyitwarire y'umuntu cyangwa ikintu runaka mu buryo bubi cyangwa butari bwo. Urugero, iyo umukunzi wawe akubise urugi, uhita utekereza uti: "Ararakaye cyane kandi agerageza kunkangira." Ibi bivuze ko usobanukiwe nabi ibikorwa bye. Ubona icyo kintu nk'ikintu kidashoboka gutekerezaho, kidashobora kwihanganirwa, kandi giteye urujijo. |
| Imyitwarire yo guhunga | Uba wumva ukeneye cyane guhunga, guhunga, cyangwa kwihisha imimerere y'amarangamutima. Cyangwa ushobora gutaka cyangwa kurira mu buryo butunguranye, ugerageza kurangiza ikibazo vuba bishoboka. Ibi bisa cyane n'uburyo bwo kwirwanaho mu bwonko bwacu bwitwa (kurwana, guhunga, cyangwa gukonjesha) . Ni ukuvuga ko ubwonko bugerageza kukurinda ibintu biteje akaga kandi biguhangayikishije. |
| Imikorere idatunganijwe neza | Iyo ubwonko bwawe bugiye mu 'kwirwanaho', bivuze ko butangira gufata ingamba zo kwirwanaho, utakaza ubushobozi bwo gutekereza neza. Utakaza ubushobozi bwo gufata ibyemezo bifatika, gushinga ingingo zifatika, cyangwa kuguma utuje. Ubwo bwoko bw'urujijo rwo mu mutwe nabwo ni ikimenyetso cy'ingenzi cy'imyuzure y'amarangamutima. |
Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma iki kibazo kibaho?
Nubwo umwuzure w’amarangamutima wabanje kuganirwaho ku bashakanye, ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko ushobora kubaho mu mibanire iyo ari yo yose.
Warashakanye cyangwa uri mu rukundo
Ibi bikunze kugaragara mu mibanire y'abantu, cyane cyane iyo habaye ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina (IPV) . Ariko ntibigarukira kuri iyo mibanire gusa. Amakimbirane na yo arakunze kugaragara mu bashakanye basanzwe. Ariko, umuntu ukunda guhura n'ubu bwoko bw'amarangamutima ashobora kurenga urugero iyo agize uburakari buto cyane buturutse ku mukunzi we. Hanyuma itumanaho hagati yabo rirasenyuka burundu. Abakundana nk'abo nabo bafite ubushobozi buke bwo gukemura amakimbirane.
Hagati y'ababyeyi n'abana
Ibi bishobora no kugaragara hagati y'ababyeyi n'abana. Cyane cyane iyo abana bafite ibibazo by'imyitwarire. Uko ibibazo by'imyitwarire by'umwana birushaho kuba bikomeye, ni ko ababyeyi bahura n'ibibazo by'amarangamutima barushaho kumusubiza nabi. Bashobora gukoresha uburyo bukarishye kugira ngo bahanishe umwana, cyangwa bagahora bamurakarira. Ikibaho hano ni uko ababyeyi basobanura nabi imyitwarire y'umwana , bakamurakarira, kandi bagahana umwana bikomeye kugira ngo bahagarike iyo myitwarire.
Mu buryo busanzwe
Ibi ntibigarukira gusa ku mibanire. Tekereza ko wajugunye isahani mu gikoni ukayimena. Nubwo atari ikibazo gikomeye, bishobora kumvikana nk'impanuka ikomeye. Ushobora kurakara cyane ugashaka guhunga icyo kibazo ku buryo ushaka kuva aho utafashe amasahani yamenetse.
Isano iri hagati y'imyuzure y'amarangamutima n'ihungabana
Hari isano ikomeye hagati y'ibintu bibabaje byabaye mu bihe byashize n'umwuzure w'amarangamutima.
Abantu bakorewe ihohoterwa cyangwa bafashwe nabi mu bihe byashize bafite amahirwe menshi yo kurwara iyi ndwara. Ihungabana ry’umubiri, nko gukomereka mu bwonko, naryo rishobora gutera impinduka mu byiyumvo no mu myitwarire y’umuntu, bigatera umwuzure mu marangamutima.
Si ibyo gusa, abana bahanwe bikomeye n'ababyeyi babo bakiri abana bashobora guhura n'ibibazo nk'ibi by'umwuzure w'amarangamutima nk'uyu bamaze gukura.
Ni gute wahunga iki kibazo no kukigenzura?
Ikibazo cy’amarangamutima ni ikibazo kigoye, bityo nta gisubizo kimwe gishoboka kuri bose. Ariko hari ibyo dushobora gukora kugira ngo tukigabanye.
1. Fata umwanya wo kuruhuka.
Iki ni cyo kintu cyoroshye kandi cyihuse ushobora gukora. Igihe cyose wowe cyangwa umukunzi wawe wumvise ayo marangamutima aje, haguruka igihe gito. Nyuma y'iminota 20 mutandukanye kandi mugatuza, imbaraga z'ayo marangamutima ziragabanuka.
Ababyeyi nabo bashobora gukoresha ubu buryo. Niba wumva umeze utyo uri kumwe n'umwana wawe, mbere yo guhita ugira icyo ukora kuri uwo mwana, hita uva aho hantu akanya gato. Shyira umwana ahantu hatekanye, ujye mu kindi cyumba maze utuze. Ni ngombwa cyane kugira umuntu ugufasha mu bihe nk'ibi. Saba inshuti yawe wizeye cyangwa umuvandimwe wawe kumurera kugeza igihe aruhutse.
2. Iga ubuhanga bwo kwihanganira imibabaro
Iyo ibi bikunze kubaho, ni ngombwa gushaka ubufasha bw'inzobere . Ushobora kuvugana na muganga wawe ukabona koherezwa ku muganga wujuje ibisabwa mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe. Binyuze mu buvuzi cyangwa inama, ushobora kwiga uburyo bwo gucunga amarangamutima yawe no gutuza ubwenge bwawe mu bihe nk'ibi.
Abashakanye bashobora kungukirwa cyane n'inama z'abashakanye, zishobora gufasha impande zombi gusobanukirwa ikibazo no kwiga uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura amakimbirane.
3. Reka imibanire mibi.
Niba uri mu mibanire irangwa n'ihohoterwa, ikintu cy'ingenzi ugomba gukora mbere yo gutekereza ku bijyanye n'amarangamutima ni ugushaka ubufasha bwo kuva mu mibanire . Ibi bishobora kugorana kubikora wenyine. Nyamuneka shaka ubufasha bwo kuva mu mibanire. Inshuti wizeye, umuntu wo mu muryango wawe, cyangwa umuganga wawe.Vugana n'umuntu kuri ibi hanyuma ubone ubufasha ukeneye.
Ubutumwa bwo kujyana mu rugo
- Kuzura mu marangamutima ni ikintu gituma amarangamutima arushaho kurenga urugero, ntushobore kugenzura amarangamutima yawe. Si intege nke zawe.
- Ibi bishobora kubaho mu mibanire iyo ari yo yose, cyangwa se mu gihe muri mwenyine.
- Kumenya ibimenyetso ni intambwe ya mbere (gutekereza ibintu nabi, gushaka guhunga, kumva utazi icyo utekereza).
- Mu bihe nk'ibi, "guhagarara," bivuze kuva aho hantu akanya gato, ni bwo buryo bwiza kandi bwihuse bwo gutuza umutima wawe.
- Niba iyi ndwara ihora igira ingaruka ku buzima bwawe, nyamuneka shaka ubufasha bw'inzobere. Ntugatinye kuvugana na muganga wawe cyangwa umujyanama wawe.
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