Uyamkhumbula umntu oneminyaka ephakathi kwezo movie kunye nedrama oye washiya umsebenzi wakhe ngequbuliso, wathenga imoto entsha yezemidlalo, waqala ukuba neengxaki nosapho lwakhe, waza waguqula ubomi bakhe? Ewe, yiloo nto uninzi lwethu luyicingayo xa sisiva igama elithi "ingxaki yobomi obuphakathi." Kodwa ngaba le yinto yokuhlekisa ngayo? Yile nto sithetha ngayo namhlanje. Enyanisweni, njengoogqirha, ngoku sikhetha ukuyibiza ngokuthi "utshintsho lobomi obuphakathi" kunokuba "yingxaki." Kuba eli xesha alichaphazeli wonke umntu ngendlela embi. Kwabanye, eli linokuba lelona xesha lilungileyo lokuphuhlisa izinto ezininzi ebomini. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuthintela eli xesha lotshintsho ekubeni liguquke libe luxinzelelo olukhulu kwaye ufune uncedo ukuba kuyimfuneko.
Yintoni le ngxaki yobuntwana?
Nangona igama elithi "ingxaki yobomi obuphakathi" belikho ukususela ngeminyaka yoo-1980, alikaze libe sisifo sengqondo esaziwayo ngokusemthethweni . Ngamafutshane, ligama eliqhelekileyo elithetha uthotho lweenguqu zengqondo nezokuziphatha ezenzeka kwiminyaka yobudala obuphakathi.
Ngoko ke linini eli "xesha liphakathi"? Liyahluka ukusuka kumntu ukuya komnye. Lidla ngokuvela phakathi kweminyaka engama-37 ukuya kwengama-50. Le meko ayiveli ngequbuliso. Ihlala isenzeka ngeziganeko ezibalulekileyo ebomini. Cinga ngezinto ezinje,
- Umntwana wokugqibela endlwini uya eyunivesithi okanye uyatshata.
- Ukubhiyozela usuku lokuzalwa olukhulu njengeminyaka engama-40 okanye engama-50.
- Ukufa kwabazali babo.
- Utshintsho olukhulu emsebenzini okanye ukusondela kumhlalaphantsi.
Ngezinto ezinje, abantu bayalingeka ukuba bajonge emva kubomi babo baze babuze imibuzo efana nale, "Ndenze ntoni ukuza kuthi ga ngoku?" kunye "Ndonwabile ngobomi bam?"
Ingaba oku kuyafana kumadoda nakubafazi?
Hayi. Nangona amadoda nabafazi banokulufumana olu tshintsho lobomi babo baphakathi, indlela oluzibonakalisa ngayo yahlukile kakhulu.
Ngokuphathelele amadoda:
Ibali elithi "thenga imoto yezemidlalo ebomvu" esilikhankanyileyo ngaphambili ngumzekelo wengcamango enxulumene namadoda. Nangona kungengabo bonke abantu abanjalo, amadoda kule mihla acinga kakhulu ngempumelelo yawo, ingakumbi impumelelo emsebenzini. Anokucinga ngezinto ezinje, "Andifikanga apho bendifuna ukuba khona?" okanye "Ndimi phi xa ndithelekiswa nabanye?" kwaye asenokuzama nzima ukuzingqina nokubonisa ihlabathi ukuba ayaphumelela.
Ngokuphathelele abafazi:
Abafazi, nokuba bayasebenza, badla ngokulinganisa ixabiso labo ngobudlelwane beentsapho. Oko kukuthi, "Ngaba ndingumfazi olungileyo?", "Ngaba ndingumama olungileyo?" Xa abantwana babo bekhula baze bashiye ikhaya, banokuziva ngathi indima yabo ephambili iphelile, baze bazive ngathi, "Ndingubani ngoku?" "Ngaba ndilahlekelwe bubuntu bam?"
Ingaba eli linqanaba eliqhelekileyo ebomini?
Ewe. Iingcali zengqondo ezininzi ngoku zibona eli njengenqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokukhula ebomini. Njengobuntwana kunye nokufikisa, ubudala obuphakathi lelinye nje inqanaba esidlula kulo sonke. Lixesha apho siqala ukucinga ngokutsha ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kunye neenjongo zethu ebomini.
Ukuba oku ukubona kungekuko njengengxaki, kodwa njengethuba elihle lokuqala i-innings yesibini yobomi bakho, yinto elungileyo leyo onokuyenza.
Zininzi izinto ezintle ezinokwenzeka ngeli xesha. Khawucinge nje,
- Emva kokuba uxanduva lokukhulisa abantwana luphelile, abafazi bakhuthazwa ukuba bafune isidanga okanye baqalise ishishini elitsha ababeliphupha ukususela ebuntwaneni kodwa bengakwazi ukulenza.
- Amadoda, endaweni yokuba asebenze nzima, aqala ukunceda ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, aqalise ukulima igadi, afunde ubugcisa, aze achithe ixesha elingakumbi nabantwana bawo.
- Abafazi baqala ukwenza izinto ukuze bonwabe, becinga, "Ndisoloko ndenza umsebenzi wam kubo bonke abantu, ngoku kufuneka ndicinge ngam." Umzekelo, banokungavumi ukunyamekela abazukulwana babo ngalo lonke ixesha baze endaweni yoko bathathe uhambo nabahlobo babo.
Uyazi njani ukuba oku kujika kube luxinzelelo?
Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo sonke ekufuneka siyiqaphele. Nangona utshintsho lwexesha lobudala luqhelekile, ngamanye amaxesha lunokukhokelela ekubeni luxinezeleko olukhulu (uXinzelelo olukhulu) . Jonga ukuba wena okanye umntu osondeleyo kuwe uneempawu ezilandelayo.
| Uphawu | Inkcazo |
|---|---|
| Utshintsho kwindlela yokutya | Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla ngequbuliso okanye ukutya kakhulu. |
| Utshintsho ebuthongweni | Ukungalali okanye ukulala kakhulu, ukuziva udiniwe ngalo lonke ixesha. |
| Iimvakalelo zokuphoxeka nokuphelelwa lithemba | Ukuziva ungenathemba ngobomi, iingcinga ezingalunganga. |
| Ukungazoli nomsindo | Ukungazoli ngaphandle kwesizathu, umsindo oqhelekileyo. |
| Ukuziva ungento yanto kunye netyala | Ukucinga ukuba umntu akanamsebenzi kwaye akanakunceda. |
| Ukungonwabi kwizinto ebezimnandi ngaphambili | Ukungonwabi kuyo nayiphi na into, kuquka nezinto endandizithanda ngaphambili kunye nobomi besondo. |
| Intlungu yomzimba | Iimpawu zomzimba ezifana neentloko ezibuhlungu kunye neentlungu zesisu ezingapheliyo nangona usela amayeza. |
| Ukucinga ngokuphelisa ubomi bakho | Le yimeko eyingozi kakhulu nengxamisekileyo. Ukucinga okanye ukuzama ukuzibulala. |
Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo unenye okanye ngaphezulu kwezi mpawu, nceda ungaze uyityeshele. Ngokuqinisekileyo bonana nogqirha.
Yintoni omawuyenze ukuba udandathekile?
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukudakumba yimeko enokunyangeka kwaye inyangeka ngokupheleleyo . Kukho iindlela ezimbini eziphambili zokunyanga ukudakumba.
1. Unyango lokuThetha/Unyango lwezengqondo: Ukufunda ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho neengcinga zakho ngokuthetha nomcebisi okanye ugqirha wengqondo ofanelekileyo yindlela esebenzayo kakhulu.
2. Amayeza okulwa noxinzelelo: Amayeza alungelelanisa umsebenzi wee-neurotransmitters engqondweni. La mayeza afanele athathwe kuphela ngokucetyiswa ngugqirha .
Izifundo ezininzi zifumanise ukuba umntu onesifo sokudakumba okukhulu unokuphila ngokukhawuleza nangokupheleleyo ngokusebenzisa zombini ezi ndlela zonyango kunye. Kodwa oko kuxhomekeke kugqirha ohlola imeko yakho.
Ngoko ke, ukuba unamathandabuzo amancinci ngale nto, ungabi nazintloni okanye woyike.Thetha nogqirha wosapho lwakho okanye ugqirha wengqondo. Lolona ncedo lukhulu onokulunika wena.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Utshintsho phakathi kobomi luyinto eqhelekileyo ebomini. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba lube yingxaki.
- Indlela eli xesha elichaphazela ngayo abafazi kunye namadoda inokwahluka.
- Musa ukukubona oku njengokudanisa, kodwa jonga njengethuba elihle lokuqala isahluko esitsha ebomini bakho nokufunda izinto ezintsha.
- Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ulumke xa oku kukhokelela ekuxinezelekeni.
- Ukuba ufumana iimpawu zokudakumba, ezinje ngokukhungatheka okukhulu, ukungalali, kunye nokudinwa bubomi, musa ukuchitha ixesha kwaye ufune ingcebiso kagqirha ngoko nangoko.
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