Ungathetha njani nomntwana wakho ngotywala? Masithethe ngalo mba ubalulekileyo!

Kule mihla, abantwana bethu abancinci, ingakumbi xa besesikolweni, oko kukuthi, xa besesikolweni samabanga aphakamileyo, ngamanye amaxesha bayalingeka ukuba basele utywala ngenxa yempembelelo yabahlobo okanye ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi. Enyanisweni, sibona abantu besebenzisa ezi zinto nangona bekwiminyaka apho umthetho ubathintelayo. Kodwa bazali, ninamandla amaninzi okugcina umntwana wenu kude nezinto ezinjalo. Kungoko ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha nabantwana benu ngolu tywala besebancinci, njengoko bekhula kancinci kancinci.

Ubachazela njani oku abantwana abancinci? (Phantse iminyaka emi-3-5 ubudala)

Kunzima kakhulu kubantwana bale minyaka ukuqonda okuninzi ngotywala, akunjalo? Bafuna izinto ezilula. Kodwa ungamisela umzekelo omhle . Umntwana wakho uza kufunda lukhulu kwindlela osebenzisa ngayo utywala ngokufanelekileyo (okanye ungabusebenzisi kwaphela), uhlale usebenza, kwaye utye ukutya okunempilo. Khawuthelekelele ukuba umntwana wakho ukubuze umbuzo malunga notywala? Emva koko phendula ngokulula nangokunyanisekileyo . Akufuneki uchaze iinkcukacha ezipheleleyo, yitsho ngendlela abanokuyiqonda. Umzekelo, ungatsho into elula efana nokuthi, "Ezo azilungelanga abantwana abancinci, nyana/ntombi, zinokukulimaza isisu."

Ngaba singathetha nabantwana abaneminyaka emi-4 ukuya kweyesi-7 ubudala?

Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuthetha nabantwana abakule minyaka kukuthetha ngalo mba xa uvela ngokwemvelo . Umzekelo, khawucinge ukuba ubukele iTV. Kufika intengiso yotywala. Ngelo xesha, ungabuza umntwana wakho, "Nyana/ntombi, uyazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni emzimbeni wakho xa usela esi siselo?" Gcina ulwazi lulula kakhulu . Ungathetha izinto ezinje:

• "Xa usela ezi zinto, umzimba nengqondo yakho zisebenza kancinci kancinci."
• "Kuba nzima ukucinga kakuhle, kwaye usenokulahlekelwa lulawulo xa uhamba."
• "Kuba nzima ukuqonda ngokuchanekileyo izinto ezinje ngokuba amanzi anzulu kangakanani okanye ukuba imoto ikufutshane kangakanani endleleni."
• "Ngaphandle koko, umlomo wakho uyanuka!"

Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakho angabuza athi, "Kutheni kulungile ukuba umama/utata asele, hayi mna?" Emva koko cacisa oku: "Imizimba yabantwana abancinci isakhula. Njengesityalo esincinci. Ukusela ezi zinto kungonakalisa imizimba yabo ekhulayo kunye nengqondo. Kukho ithuba elikhulu lokuba babe ngamakhoboka ezi zinto xa bekhula. Yiyo loo nto ezi zinto zingalunganga kubantwana abancinci."

Makhe sichaze okungakumbi ngabantwana abaneminyaka ephakathi kwesi-8 neli-11 ubudala.

Abantwana abakule minyaka banokuyiqonda imiphumo yotywala, oko kukuthi, umonakalo obunokuwenza emzimbeni nasengqondweni, ngokweenkcukacha ezithe vetshe. Bakhulile kancinci ngoku, kwaye baqala ukucinga ngezinto ngendlela enengqondo.

Ungathetha ngemiphumo yotywala yexesha elifutshane . Nazi:

• Izinto ozibonayo, izinto ozivayo, kunye nokulinganisela komzimba wakho (ukulungelelanisa) ziyabhideka. Awukwazi ukubona okanye ukuva kakuhle, awukwazi ukuhamba kakuhle, kwaye usenokuwa.
• Iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zingatshintsha ngequbuliso. Ungaziva ulusizi ngaphandle kokuva ulusizi, unomsindo ngaphandle kokucaphuka, okanye uvuyo olugqithisileyo.
• Ubuchule bokukhetha okulungileyo kokungalunganga, oko kukuthi, ubuchule bokugweba (ukugweba okuphazamisekileyo), buyalahleka. Oku kwandisa umngcipheko weengozi, ukurhaxwa, ezinye izinto ezinobungozi , kunye nokulwa.
• Umoya ombi.
• Ngosuku olulandelayo, ufumana izinto ezifana nentloko ebuhlungu kakhulu, ukuziva ubuthathaka, kunye nokuziva ufuna ukuhlanza, okubizwa ngokuba yi-hangover .

Kwakhona, thetha ngemiphumo yexesha elide yokusela utywala ixesha elide . Le yimiphumo eyingozi ngokwenene:

• Isibindi, esinye sezitho ezibalulekileyo emzimbeni wethu, sonakele kakhulu.
• Ulahlekelwa ngumdla wokutya kwaye umzimba wakho awukugayi kakuhle ukutya.
• Ndihlala ndiba neengxaki zesisu, maxa wambi isifo se-gastritis.
• Kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokonakala kwentliziyo nengqondo, nto leyo enokubangela izifo ezifana nesifo sentliziyo kunye nokubetha kwentliziyo.
• Ngokuhamba kwexesha, inkumbulo iyaphela kancinci kancinci, kwaye kuba nzima ukufunda izinto ezintsha.

Abantwana abakule minyaka badla ngokufuna ukuba nabahlobo babo kwaye benze izinto ezifanayo nabo . Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Nangona kunjalo, fundisa umntwana wakho ukubaluleka kokuzicingela nokuzenzela izigqibo zakhe. Mkhuthaze ngokuthi, "Akunyanzelekanga ukuba wenze into kuba nje wonke umntu eyenza, nyana/ntombi. Kufuneka ube namandla okukhetha into evakala ilungile kuwe nelungileyo emzimbeni wakho."

Sibaxelela ntoni abantwana bethu abancinci abaphakathi kweminyaka eli-12 neli-17?

Eli lixesha lokuba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo . Gcina ucango luvulekile ukuze uncokole nomntwana wakho. Qhubeka nokuba ngumzekelo omhle . Nangona kusenokubonakala ngathi akaphulaphuli into oyithethayo, izifundo zibonise ukuba umzekelo kunye nencoko yabazali inefuthe kwindlela abaziphatha ngayo abantwana abancinci.

Thetha nabo ngezizathu ezilungileyo zokungasebenzisi utywala. Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziqinisekisiweyo ngokwesayensi:

• Ukuba uqhela ukusela utywala usemncinci, unokuba neengxaki ezinxulumene notywala xa ukhula. Oko kuthetha ukuba unokuba likhoboka lotywala.
• Ulutsha olusebenzisa utywala lunamathuba amaninzi okuba luqalise ukwabelana ngesondo kwangethuba kwaye lubandakanyeke kwisondo esingakhuselekanga , nto leyo enokubangela iingxaki ezifana nezifo ezidluliselwa ngesondo kunye nokukhulelwa okungacwangciswanga.
• Abantwana abancinci abasebenzisa utywala banokuba neengxaki ngomsebenzi wesikolo . Balahlekelwa yinkumbulo, ixesha lokugxila eliphantsi, kwaye baphelelwe ngumdla wokufunda.
• Utywala bunokuphazamisa ukusebenza kakuhle kwezemidlalo . Bunokubangela ukuphelelwa ngamandla, isantya, kunye nokulinganisela.
• Akukho mthethweni ukuba nabani na ongaphantsi kweminyaka engama-21 ubudala asele utywala. Nabani na obanjwe uza kujongana nesohlwayo.
• Utywala bunokubangela utshintsho oluhlala ixesha elide engqondweni . Ingakumbi xa ingqondo isakhula, utywala bunokuphazamisa olo phuhliso.

Ukufundisa nokusebenzisa amaqhinga okoyikisa abantu ngotywala kunokwenza abantu abaselula bakushiye. Ngoko ke musa ukwenza loo nto.

Nangona kunjalo, cacisa ukuba awufuni ukuba basebenzise utywala kwaphela . Ukuba kukho umntu kusapho lwakho oye waba neengxaki ngotywala, oko kukuthi, ukuba kukho "imbali yosapho eneengxaki zotywala", xelela umntwana wakho ngayo. Oku kusenokumbeka emngciphekweni omkhulu wokuba nengxaki yotywala.

Abantwana abancinci bafuna ukwamkelwa nokuthandwa ngoontanga babo. Oku kuyaqondakala. Ngoko ke, thetha nabo ngendlela yokuziphatha kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo kwaye ubalungiselele. Umzekelo:

• "Masithi usepatini kwaye umhlobo wakho uzama ukukusela utywala. Uthini? Ungathi, 'Andifuni, andiseli oku.' Okanye ungathi, 'Hayi, mfo, kufuneka ndiye emsebenzini kwangethuba kusasa olulandelayo.'"
• "Ungenza ntoni ukuba umhlobo oza kukusa ekhaya unxilile? Ungaze ungene emotweni nomntu onxilileyo. Ngelo xesha, unganditsalela umnxeba, kwaye ndiza kuza kukuthabatha."

Thethani ngezi zinto kunye. Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba ningamfowunela okanye nimthumelele umyalezo nanini na, niza kuza nimthathe, kwaye aniyi kumthethisa okanye nimjezise . Ukwakha olu themba kubaluleke kakhulu.

Yintoni enye esinokuyenza njengabazali?

Abazali nabo bangumzekelo omhle kubantwana abancinci. Ngoko ke, yibani ngumzekelo omhle ngokusebenzisa utywala ngendlela efanelekileyo (okanye ningabusebenzisi kwaphela), ningabusebenzisi utywala njengesisombululo soxinzelelo, kwaye ningaze nisele utywala niqhube. Incoko enyanisekileyo rhoqo nabantwana bakho iya kubanceda benze izigqibo ezilungileyo.

Kwangaxeshanye, njengabazali , kufuneka niqaphele nize nibeke imithetho . Ukuba umntwana wakho uzama utywala, mcele ukuba athethe inyaniso nawe ngalo mba. Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho usebenzisa utywala kwaye akakuxeleli, musa ukubutyeshela . Ukuba ucinga ukuba ingxaki inzima, ugqirha womntwana wakho angakunceda.

Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza:

• Yazi kakuhle apho abantwana bakho bakhona kwaye bakunye noobani .
• Yiba nendlela yokunxibelelana nomntwana wakho. Bafanele babe nefowuni yakhe, kwaye ivulwe. Kwakhona, gcina iinombolo zabahlobo bakhe okanye inombolo yendlu abaza kuya kuyo nawe.
• Yazi abazali babahlobo babantwana bakho kwaye ufumane iindlela zokunxibelelana nabo. Ukusebenzisana nabanye abazali kwenza kube lula ukukhusela abantwana bakho.
• Iimbono zakho ngotywala, oko ukuxabisayo (izinto ozixabisayo) kubantwana abadala nakubantwana abancinciThetha ngayo. Cacisa ukuba awufuni umntwana wakho asele utywala.
• Xelela abantwana bakho ukuba kufuneka baziswe kangaphi, oko kukuthi, ukuba "bangene", xa bengekho ekhaya.
• Ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci uyaqhuba, cacisa ukuba akulunganga ukusela utywala obungakanani na uze uqhube . Ungenza "isivumelwano" enisayine nobabini, esithi akukho mntu kusapho uza kusela aze aqhube. Cacisa ukuba ukuba uyaphula eso sivumelwano, umntwana wakho uza kuphulukana namalungelo akhe okuqhuba.

Okokugqibela, izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Kulungile, ndiyathemba ukuba uziqondile izinto ezibalulekileyo koko sithethe ngako. Ngamafutshane, ukuba sifuna ukusindisa abantwana bethu kwiingozi zotywala, kufuneka sithethe nabo ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka .

Kungcono ukuqala loo ncoko usemncinci.

Njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula, chaza izinto ngendlela efanelekileyo kumntwana wakho. Kubalulekile nokuba ngumzekelo omhle kwaye uveze izimvo zakho kuye ngothando, ukuqonda, kodwa ngendlela eqinileyo . Khumbula, wena ungoyena mandla makhulu omntwana wakho! Ungamkhokela kwicala elifanelekileyo.

Utywala , abantwana, abazali, ukuthintela iziyobisi, ulutsha, impilo, unxibelelwano