Khawuthelekelele uncokola kancinci neqabane lakho. Incoko ijika ibe yimfazwe kancinci kancinci. Ngequbuliso, uziva ngathi yonke into engaphakathi entlokweni yakho ayilunganga, awukwazi ukucinga, ushiywe ngumsindo, lusizi, uloyiko. Kuvakala ngathi idama liqhumile kwaye iimvakalelo ezininzi ziyakuza phezu kwakho... Awukwazi ukufumana amagama, awukwazi ukucinga ngento omawuyenze. Ufuna nje ukuphuma apho ngandlela ithile. Ngaba wakha wahlangabezana nento efana nale? Le yinto esiyibiza ngokuba yi-Emotional Flooding .
Ngamafutshane, yintoni i-Emotional Flooding?
Ukukhukhula ngokweemvakalelo akusisifo. Yimeko yengqondo esiyifumanayo. Ngamafutshane, kuxa iimvakalelo zakho (ezifana nokudakumba, umsindo, uloyiko) zinganyamezeleki ngenxa yesiganeko, uze ulahlekelwe kukulawula iimvakalelo zakho. Njengokuba ukongeza amanzi amaninzi ebhakedeni lamanzi kubangela ukuba aphuphume, xa iimvakalelo zakho zigqithisile ukuba ungaziphatha, ziyaphuphuma.
Kufana nokuxobula iileya zetswele. Ukuba sixobula iileya, kuninzi okwenzekayo ngasemva kweziganeko. Isiganeko, indlela osibona ngayo eso siganeko, indlela oziva ngayo ngaso, kunye nendlela osabela ngayo kuloo mvakalelo... zonke ezi zinto ziyadibana ukuze zenze amava e-Emotional Flooding. Kwaneengcali zengqondo ziye zazabalaza amashumi eminyaka ukufumana iinkcukacha ezichanekileyo.
Zeziphi iimpawu eziphambili ozivayo ngamaxesha anje?
Iimpawu zokukhukuliswa ziimvakalelo azifani kuye wonke umntu. Kunokuba nzima nokuzahlula kuba zifana nezinye iimpawu zeemeko ezixinzelelekileyo. Makhe sijonge iimpawu eziphambili.
| Uphawu | Kalula nje... |
|---|---|
| Ukucinga izinto ngendlela engalunganga, nengalunganga (Kuchaphazela ucalucalulo) | Kulapho ubona khona indlela umntu aziphethe ngayo okanye isiganeko ngendlela engalunganga okanye engalunganga. Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho livala ucango, ngoko nangoko ucinge, "Unomsindo kakhulu kwaye uzama ukundithethisa." Oku kuthetha ukuba uzichaza gwenxa izenzo zakhe. Ubona eso siganeko njengento engenakucingelwa, enganyamezelekiyo, nedidayo. |
| Iindlela zokubaleka | Uziva ufuna ngamandla ukubaleka, ukubaleka, okanye ukuzimela kwimeko yeemvakalelo. Okanye ungakhwaza okanye ukhale ngequbuliso, uzama ukuphelisa imeko ngokukhawuleza. Oku kufana kakhulu nendlela yokuzikhusela engqondweni yethu ebizwa ngokuba yi (ukulwa, ukubaleka, okanye ukukhenkceza) . Oko kukuthi, ingqondo izama ukukusindisa kwimeko eyingozi nexinezelekileyo. |
| Imisebenzi engacwangciswanga kakuhle | Xa ingqondo yakho ingena 'kwimo yokusinda', oko kuthetha ukuba iqala ukuthatha amanyathelo okuzikhusela, ulahlekelwa ngamandla okucinga ngokucacileyo. Ulahlekelwa ngamandla okwenza izigqibo ezinengqondo, ukwakha ingxoxo ehambelanayo, okanye ukuhlala uzolile. Olu hlobo lokudideka kwengqondo lukwaluphawu oluphambili lwe-Emotional Flooding. |
Ziziphi iimeko ezinokwenzeka ukuba le meko yenzeke?
Nangona ukukhukula ngokweemvakalelo kwaqala kwaxoxwa ngako ngokunxulumene nezibini ezitshatileyo, uphando ngoku lufumanise ukuba oku kunokwenzeka nakweyiphi na ubudlelwane.
Utshatile okanye uthandana
Le meko idla ngokubonakala kubudlelwane, ingakumbi kwabo badla ngokuba nobundlobongela phakathi kwamaqabane (IPV) . Kodwa ayipheleli nje kubudlelwane obunjalo. Iingxabano zixhaphakile nakwizibini eziqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, umntu othanda olu hlobo lokukhukuliswa ziimvakalelo unokusabela ngokugqithisileyo nokuba ngumsindo omncinci ovela kwiqabane lakhe. Emva koko unxibelelwano phakathi kwezi zibini luyaphela ngokupheleleyo. Ezi zibini azinawo amandla okusombulula iingxabano.
Phakathi kwabazali nabantwana
Oku kunokubonwa phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Ingakumbi xa abantwana beneengxaki zokuziphatha. Okukhona iingxaki zokuziphatha komntwana zinzima, kokukhona kunokwenzeka ukuba abazali abafumana iZikhukhula zeMvakalelo baza kusabela kabukhali kumntwana. Basenokusebenzisa iindlela eziqatha ukohlwaya umntwana, okanye basenokusoloko benomsindo kumntwana. Okwenzekayo apha kukuba abazali bayichaza gwenxa indlela umntwana aziphatha ngayo , bacaphuke ngayo, baze bamjezise kabukhali umntwana ukuze bayeke ukuziphatha kwakhe.
Kwimeko eqhelekileyo
Oku akupheleli nje kubudlelwane. Khawuthelekelele uwise isitya ekhitshini waza wasiphula. Nangona kungengomcimbi mkhulu, sinokuziva ngathi yintlekele enkulu. Usenokuba nomsindo kakhulu uze ufune ukubaleka imeko kangangokuba ufuna ukuhamba ngaphandle kokuthatha iisitya eziphukileyo.
Ubudlelwane phakathi kokukhukula ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokulimala
Kukho unxibelelwano oluqinileyo phakathi kweziganeko ezibuhlungu zexesha elidlulileyo kunye noKhukula ngokweemvakalelo.
Abantu abaye baxhatshazwa okanye baphathwa kakubi kwixesha elidlulileyo banamathuba amaninzi okufumana le meko. Ukulimala emzimbeni, njengokwenzakala kwengqondo okubuhlungu, kunokubangela utshintsho kwindlela umntu avakalelwa ngayo kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe, okukhokelela ekukhukuleni ngokweemvakalelo.
Akuphelelanga apho, abantwana abohlwaywa kabuhlungu ngabazali babo besengabantwana banamathuba amaninzi okujongana neemeko ezibuhlungu ezifana nezi xa bebadala.
Ungabaleka njani kwaye uyilawule le meko?
Ukukhukula ngokweemvakalelo yingxaki enzima, ngoko ke akukho sisombululo sinye esifanelekileyo. Kodwa kukho izinto esinokuzenza ukuze sikwazi ukuyilawula.
1. Phumla kancinci.
Le yeyona nto ilula nekhawulezayo onokuyenza. Nanini na xa wena okanye iqabane lakho niziva ezi mvakalelo zifika, sukani kwimeko okwethutyana. Emva kwemizuzu engama-20 nihlukene kwaye nizolile, ubunzulu bezo mvakalelo buya kuncipha.
Abazali nabo bangayisebenzisa le ndlela. Ukuba uvakalelwa ngolu hlobo ngelixa unomntwana wakho, ngaphambi kokuba usabele kumntwana ngoko nangoko, suka kwimeko okwethutyana. Mbeke umntwana kwindawo ekhuselekileyo, uye kwelinye igumbi uze uzole. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nomntu oza kukunceda ngamaxesha anje. Cela umhlobo okanye isalamane sakho osithembileyo ukuba simjonge umntwana wakho de uzole.
2. Funda izakhono zokunyamezela uxinzelelo
Ukuba oku kuyenzeka rhoqo, kubalulekile ukufuna uncedo lweengcali . Ungathetha nogqirha wakho uze ufumane isalathiso kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo efanelekileyo. Ngonyango okanye ingcebiso, ungafunda iindlela zokulawula iimvakalelo zakho kunye nokuzola ingqondo yakho ngamaxesha anje.
Izibini zingazuza kakhulu kwingcebiso yabatshatileyo, enokunceda omabini amaqela aqonde imeko aze afunde iindlela ezingcono zokusombulula iingxabano.
3. Shiya ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo.
Ukuba ukwibudlelwane obuxhaphazayo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo omawuyenze ngaphambi kokuba ucinge nge-Emotional Flooding kukufuna uncedo lokuphuma kubudlelwane . Oku kunokuba nzima ukukwenza wedwa. Nceda ufune uncedo lokuphuma. Umhlobo othembekileyo, ilungu losapho, okanye ugqirha wakho.Thetha nomntu ngale nto uze ufumane inkxaso oyifunayo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukukhukuliswa ziimvakalelo ngamava apho iimvakalelo ziba nzima kakhulu kwaye ungakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho. Asikuko ubuthathaka bakho.
- Oku kunokwenzeka nakweyiphi na ubudlelwane, okanye nokuba ninodwa.
- Ukuqonda iimpawu linyathelo lokuqala (ukucinga izinto ngendlela engafanelekanga, ukufuna ukubaleka, ukuziva udidekile).
- Ngamaxesha anje, "ixesha lokuphumla," oko kuthetha ukubaleka kwindawo okwethutyana, yeyona ndlela ilungileyo nekhawulezayo yokuzola ingqondo yakho.
- Ukuba le meko ihlala ichaphazela ubomi bakho, nceda ufune uncedo lweengcali. Ungathandabuzi ukuthetha nogqirha wakho okanye nomcebisi.
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