Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba singqongwe ngabantu abaninzi kwaye sihlala nosapho olukhulu, sisaziva sinesizungu kakhulu, akunjalo? Okanye xa sifudukela kwisixeko esitsha ngenxa yomsebenzi, okanye xa silahlekelwa ngumntu esimthandayo, isizungu kunye nesizungu esizivayo... Oku akusiyo nje imvakalelo yosizi. Esi sizungu sinzulu kunokuba sicinga, kwaye sichaphazela nempilo yethu yomzimba. Ngoko masithethe ngale nto namhlanje.
Yintoni kanye kanye le nto yokuba wedwa?
Okokuqala, kufuneka sikuqonde oku. Ukuba wedwa nokuziva unesizungu zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Usenokufuna ukuba wedwa ukuze ufunde incwadi okanye ubukele imuvi wedwa. Akukho nto imbi ngaloo nto. Kodwa ukuba wedwa yinto eyahlukileyo.
Ngamafutshane, isizungu kukuziva ungenabani. Khawuthelekelele ukwitheko laseofisini, ungqongwe ngabantu, wonke umntu uyahleka kwaye uyathetha, kodwa uzive uwedwa. Uziva ngathi akukho mntu unokwabelana naye ngeemvakalelo zakho, akukho mntu ukuqonda ngokwenene. Yiloo nto isizungu.
“Nguwe ogqibayo ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba wedwa kuwe,” utshilo uLouise Hockley, isazinzulu sophando esiphezulu kwiYunivesithi yaseChicago. “Akukho mntu unokukuxelela ukuba, ‘Awunakuba wedwa.’”
Oko kuthetha ukuba le yimvakalelo yobuqu kakhulu. Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive ngolu hlobo xa uhlukana nomntu obunaye iminyaka emininzi, okanye xa ufudukela kwisixeko esitsha. Kodwa ungaziva lo mzwangedwa nangona kungekho tshintsho lukhulu.
Ukuba wedwa kuyichaphazela njani imizimba yethu?
Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Ukuba lilolo akupheleli nje ekubuhlungu emphefumlweni, kodwa kukwachaphazela ngqo impilo yethu yomzimba. Enyanisweni, ukuba lilolo kuyingozi kwizifo ezininzi.
Uphando lufumanise ukuba ukuba wedwa kunciphisa amandla omzimba wethu okumelana noxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla. Kukwanciphisa amandla omzimba okulawula ukudumba . Oku kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezahlukeneyo zempilo ngokuhamba kwexesha.
| Impembelelo | Iingxaki zempilo ezinokubakho |
|---|---|
| Ifuthe legazi | Umngcipheko ophezulu woxinzelelo lwegazi. |
| Ukulala | Iingxaki zokulala ezifana nokungalali kakuhle kunye nomgangatho ophantsi wokulala. |
| Ukudumba | Ukwanda kokudumba emzimbeni kwandisa umngcipheko wokukhula kwezifo ezifana ne -atherosclerosis , i-rheumatoid arthritis , kunye ne -tendinitis . |
| Inkqubo yomzimba | Umngcipheko ophezulu wokugula rhoqo ngenxa yokubuthathaka kwenkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela. |
Nangona uninzi lwezi zifo luvela kubantu abakwiminyaka ephakathi, umonakalo eziwenzayo emzimbeni uqala kwangethuba. Okwenzekayo kukuba, kunye noxinzelelo olubangelwa bubulolo, iikhemikhali ezithile ezikhutshwa yimizimba yethu (iikhemikhali zoxinzelelo) ziqala kancinci ukonakalisa imithambo yegazi yethu.
Kodwa ndifuna nokutsho oku. Kuqhelekile ukuziva unesizungu ngamanye amaxesha ebomini. Akukho mfuneko yokoyika. Kufana nokuba sinxanelwe amanzi. Ukunxanelwa amanzi kusixelela ukuba imizimba yethu ifuna amanzi. Ngokufanayo, ukuziva unesizungu kuza kusikhumbuza ukuba sifuna unxibelelwano loluntu, ukuba kunye nabantu.
Kulungile, ngoko ke uphuma njani kolu hlobo lobulolo?
Nangona kungekho nyango lokuziva unesizungu, kukho izinto esinokuzenza ukulawula iimvakalelo nokuzoyisa. Cinga ngesizungu njengento engeyonto isisigxina, kodwa into esikhuthazayo ukuba sithathe inyathelo.
1. Phuma uye kuncokola nabantu kancinci.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube ngumhlobo osenyongweni nabantu abakungqongileyo. Qala ngezinto ezincinci.
- Ncuma xa ubona omnye wabamelwane bakho.
- Xa usiya evenkileni kusasa , thetha nomntu ogcina imali.
- Hambahambahamba ujikeleze ummandla wakho. Uza kudibana nabantu abatsha.
Nokuba unxibelelwano oluncinci olufana nolu luya kwenza umahluko omkhulu. Kancinci kancinci, uya kuqonda ukuba uyinxalenye yale ndawo.
2. Lumka xa ukhetha abahlobo.
Xa siziva sinesizungu, sinokucinga, "Owu, akwaba bendinomntu endinokuthetha naye." Kodwa ngamaxesha anje, sinamathuba amaninzi okungxama ebomini size singenise abantu abangasifanelanga kwaye abasibangela ingxaki . Ke ngoko,
- Linda.
- Zama ukufumana umhlobo ofanelekileyo ohambelana nawe ngokwenene, ohlonipha izimvo zakho, nongakhathaliyo.
3. Cinga ngendlela eyakhayo.
Abantu abanengxaki yokuba bodwa badla ngokucinga izinto ezimbi. Badla ngokucinga izinto ezinje, "Akukho mntu undithandayo," "Ukuba ndithetha nabo, baza kundilahla." Xa ucinga ngolu hlobo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba wenze loo nto.
Kukho unyango olunokunceda ukutshintsha la macebo okucinga. Umzekelo, iSocial Cognitive Therapy luhlobo lokunika iingcebiso olunokuba luncedo kakhulu kwezi meko. Lusinceda sibone kwaye sitshintshe iingcinga ezimbi esinazo malunga nendlela abanye abasijonga ngayo.
Ukuba unengxaki ngezi ngcinga, musa ukubandezeleka wedwa. Thetha nogqirha wakho wosapho ngale nto. Yena angakunika ulwalathiso olufunayo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuba wedwa akuyongxaki yengqondo kuphela, kodwa kunokubangela nezifo ezininzi zomzimba, ezifana noxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu kunye nokungalali.
- Ukuba wedwa nokuziva unesizungu zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Ungaziva unesizungu nokuba ungqongwe ngabantu abaninzi.
- Musa ukoyika ukuziva unesizungu. Kufana nokunxanwa, uphawu lomzimba wakho lokuba ufuna unxibelelwano nabantu.
- Qala ngezinto ezincinci. Izinto ezinje ngokuncumela ummelwane okanye ukuqala incoko encinci zinokukunceda woyise isizungu.
- Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iingcinga zakho zinzima kwicala elibi, oko kuthetha ukuba uhlala ucinga izinto ezinje 'akukho mntu undithandayo,' thetha nogqirha ngayo kwaye ucele iingcebiso ukuba kuyimfuneko.
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