Ukwenza abangane esikoleni, ukuba ndawonye nokuzijabulisa nalabo bangane kubaluleke kakhulu ezinganeni kusukela zisencane. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi la maqembu abangani, noma lokho esikubiza ngokuthi 'amasethi', aqala ukuziphatha ngendlela ehlukile kancane. Ezinye izingane 'zingena', ezinye 'ziphuma', futhi zikhathalela kuphela 'isimo' sazo. Ngenxa yalezi 'ziqembu', kungaba nzima kakhulu ezinganeni ukubhekana nabangane besikole nokwenza umsebenzi wesikole, ikakhulukazi ezinganeni zesikole ezineminyaka ephakathi nendawo. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, njengomzali, kunezinto eziningi ongazenza ukusiza ingane yakho ngalesi sikhathi.
Kuyini 'iqembu'? Lihluke kanjani eqenjini labangane elivamile?
Ngokuvamile, akukho okubi ngokuba neqembu labangane. Kuvumela izingane ukuba zichithe isikhathi ndawonye, zidlale, futhi zitadishe. Kodwa 'iqembu' liyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalokho. Kalula nje, 'iqembu' linemithetho yokuthi ubani 'ongaphakathi' nokuthi ubani 'ongaphandle'. Bacabanga kakhulu 'ngesimo' seqembu labo. Banesimo sengqondo esithi 'thina singcono kakhulu' nokuthi 'abanye abalungile njengathi'. Yingakho 'iqembu' lihlukile eqenjini labangane abavamile futhi lingabangela izinkinga ezinganeni.
Ingabe ingane yakho ihlushwa 'yiqembu'? Wazi kanjani?
Ezinye izingane ziseqenjini. Ezinye azikho. Ezinye izingane zingase zibe khona namuhla bese ziphuma kusasa. Uma ingane yakho ivele idabukile ngokuzumayo, noma uma ingane enobungane kakhulu ichitha isikhathi sodwa ngokuzumayo, udinga ukuphenya. Mbuze ngakho. Kungaba ngenxa yeqenjini esikoleni.
Uma ingane yakho ikhishwa inyumbazane ngenxa 'yeqembu', ungasiza kanjani njengomzali?
Uma ingane ibhekene nesimo esifana nalesi, idinga ukwesekwa kwakho. Bona ukuthi ungakwazi yini ukwenza lezi zinto.
Yabelana ngolwazi lwakho.
Uma uke waba nokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo ngesikhathi usesikoleni, khuluma nengane yakho ngakho. Amaqembu awayona into eyenzekile muva nje, asekhona isikhathi eside! Lapho ingane yakho izwa indaba yakho, izoqaphela ukuthi akuyona yodwa edlula kulokhu. Lokhu kuzoyinika amandla amaningi. Ingase icabange ukuthi , "Uma lokhu kuye kwenzeka nakumama/baba, lokhu kumelwe kube yinto evamile."
Chazela ingane yakho ukuthi kusho ukuthini 'ukwenqatshwa'.
Siza ingane yakho iqonde ubuhlungu ebuzwayo lapho othile eyigwema noma eyilahla. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, yikhumbuze ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi nathi siyabathukuthelela abazali bethu, abangane, kanye nabafowethu nodadewethu. Kodwa futhi uyifundise ukuthi leyo ntukuthelo iphela ngokushesha kangakanani. Okusho ukuthi, siza ingane yakho iqonde ukuthi ukwenqatshwa nokugwenywa akuhlali njalo, kungashintsha . Yitshele ukuthi umngane oyigwemayo namuhla angakhuluma nayo futhi kusasa.
Khuluma ngobungani obunempilo nobungenampilo.
Chazela ingane yakho ukuthi ubungani obunempilo buyini nokuthi ubungani obungaphilile buyini. Mfundise ukuthi angabubona kanjani ubungani obunohlangothi olulodwa, noma obungamanga. Mtshele ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi abantu bahlulela abanye ngokubukeka kwabo, ukuziphatha kwabo, kanye nendlela abagqoka ngayo. Kodwa-ke, chaza ukuthi abantu abaphatha abanye kabi futhi babalulaze bavame ukwenza kanjalo ngoba abanakho ukuzethemba futhi bazama ukulawula abanye ukuze bafihle lokho.
Abaholi bamaqembu bangaba nokungaqiniseki ngempela.
Cabanga ngakho, umuntu ongumholi 'weqembu' angase akhathazeke kakhulu ngokuthandwa nokwamukelwa abanye kunomntwana okhishwe inyumbazane. Lokho abakuzwayo ngempela akukhona lokho abakubonisayo. Abantu abanjengalaba bangase bangazethembi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke tshela ingane yakho ukuthi ingabahluleli abantu ngokubukeka kwabo kwangaphandle.
Thola izindaba nama-movie ingane yakho engaziqonda.
Izincwadi eziningi, izinhlelo ze-TV, nama-movie abonisa abalingiswa abanqoba lolu hlobo lokulahlwa futhi ekugcineni banqobe. Lezi zindaba zifundisa umlayezo onamandla mayelana nokubaluleka kokuba qotho kuwe kanye nokubaluleka kokuba umngane omuhle. Isibonelo, izincwadi ezifana ne-"Blubber" kaJudy Blume zibonisa izingane ezincane ukuthi "amaqembu" angashintsha ngokushesha kangakanani. Izingane ezindala kanye nabantu abadala abasebasha bangaqonda ama-movie afana ne-"Mean Girls," "Angus," "The Breakfast Club," kanye ne-"Clueless."
Gxila emisebenzini yangaphandle kwesikole
Uma ingane yakho ingakahlanganyeli ezintweni ezinjalo, yibandakanye emisebenzini yangaphandle kwesikole. Izibonelo zifaka phakathi amakilasi obuciko, ezemidlalo, ubuciko bokulwa, ukufunda ulimi, noma ukuzithandela. Le misebenzi inikeza ingane yakho ithuba lokwakha iqembu elisha lomphakathi nokuthuthukisa amakhono amasha. Lokhu kuzoyisiza ukuba ihlakulele umuzwa wokuba yingxenye yeqembu lesikole kanye nenjabulo ngaphandle kweqembu lesikole.
Ingabe ingane yakho ihlezi 'eqenjini' futhi ihlukumeza abanye? Uma kunjalo, yini okufanele uyenze?
Ngezinye izikhathi ingane yakho ingaba yiyo ehlezi 'eqenjini' futhi ikhiphe abanye abantwana, ibahlekise, futhi ibaxhaphaze. Uma ubona into efana naleyo , udinga ukukhuluma nengane yakho ngayo ngokushesha. Namuhla, kusukela emibukisweni yamakhono kuya emibukisweni yangempela ku-TV, ukuziphatha okungekuhle nokuthethisa abanye kuboniswa njengento enkulu, ngakho ukufundisa izingane izinto ezinjengomusa, inhlonipho, nozwela sekuyinkinga enkulu emindenini.
Khuluma 'ngamandla' kanye 'nokulawula' ebunganini.
Khuluma nengane yakho ngokuthi amandla nokulawula kusebenza kanjani ebunganini. Zama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani inomuzwa wokuthi idinga ukuba seqenjini, nokuthi yiziphi izizathu zalokho. Khuluma ngokukhululekile ngokuthi ubani oseqenjini, ubani ongekho, nokuthi kwenzekani ezinganeni ezingaphandle (okungukuthi, ingabe azinakwa, ziyacwaswa, noma ziyaxhashazwa?). Khumbuza ingane yakho ukuthi ukuchitha isikhathi nabangani abambalwa kuhlukile ekukhipheni abanye ngamabomu .
Buza ingane ukuthi iyaziqhenya yini ngokuziphatha kwayo.
Buza ingane yakho ukuthi iyaziqhenya yini ngendlela eziphatha ngayo esikoleni, bese uyikhuthaza ukuthi icabange ngayo. Ungabuza imibuzo efana nokuthi, "Uyakujabulela ngempela uma uziphatha kanjalo?" "Ubungazizwa kanjani uma enye ingane ikwenza lokho?"
Ngaphezu kwalokho, cela othisha, abeluleki bezifundo, noma ezinye izikhulu zesikole ukuthi zithini ngemibono yabo ngalokho okwenzekayo ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwekilasi. Bangabuza nokuthi isikole sinazo yini izinhlelo zokusiza ukuphatha amaqembu kanye nokusiza abafundi abanemibono ehlukene ukuthi basebenzisane.
Ungamsiza kanjani ingane yakho ukuba ibe nobungane obuhle?
Ungasiza izingane zakho zakhe ubungane obunempilo futhi ugweme ukuhileleka kakhulu 'emaqenjini' ngokubanika lawa macebiso:
Thola ukuthi yini 'esebenzayo', hhayi 'efaneleka' nje kuphela
Cela ingane yakho ukuthi icabange ngalokho ekwazisayo, lokho ekuthandayo, nokuthi lezo zinto ziyafanelana yini neqembu ekulo. Buza imibuzo efana nale:
- 'Yisiphi isizathu esiyinhloko sokufuna ukuba kuleli qembu?'
- "Yiziphi izivumelwano okufanele uzenze ukuze ube kuleli qembu? Ingabe lezo zinhlawulo ziyakufanelekela?"
- 'Ubungenzenjani uma umholi weqembu ekutshela ukuthi uphathe kabi ezinye izingane, noma ekutshela ukuthi wenze into ongafuni ukuyenza?'
- 'Uyini umehluko phakathi kokugcona nokuxhaphaza, ukugcona nje, nokugcona ngendlela elimaza abanye?'
Batshele ukuthi bangayeki izinto abazithandayo.
Cabanga ngengane yakho ibilokhu ifuna ukudlala upiyano, kodwa ngokuzumayo inqume ukuthi "akumnandi" futhi ifuna ukukuyeka. Khuluma nengane yakho ngakho futhi uyisize ithole ikhambi. Mkhuthaze ukuba ahlanganyele emisebenzini ayijabulelayo futhi eyakha ukuzethemba kwakhe.
Khuthaza abangani abahlukahlukene
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ithole abangane abavela ezindaweni ezahlukene, izizinda, ubudala, kanye nezinto ezithandayo, abathandayo futhi abajabulela ukuba seduze nabo. Yiba yisibonelo sengane yakho ngokwenza abangane abaningi ngangokunokwenzeka, abaneminyaka nezinhlobo ezahlukene. Mtshele ukuthi angafunda okuningi empilweni ngokuxhumana nabantu abahlukahlukene kunokuchitha isikhathi nabantu abanjalo.
Cabanga 'ngekhwalithi' yobungani, hhayi 'isimo'.
Ukukhathazeka kakhulu ngokuthi izingane zakho zingabangane nabantu 'abafanele' futhi zisemaqenjini 'abafanele' kungabaholela ekukhathazekeni 'ngesimo'. Kunalokho , gxila ebunganeni obuhle nobusezingeni eliphezulu. Siza ingane yakho iqonde ukuthi noma inabangane abambalwa, isengabantu abahle nabathembekile.
Bafundise ukukhuluma ngokumelene nokwenza okubi nokumelela abanye.
Uma ingane yakho izizwa yesaba noma icindezelwa yilokho okwenzekayo 'emaqenjini', yikhuthaze ukuba izivikele yona kanye nabanye abakhishwa inyumbazane noma abaxhashazwayo. Yitshele ukuthi ingahlanganyeli kunoma yini ecabanga ukuthi ayilungile. Akunandaba ukuthi kumane kuyihlaya noma ukuhleba ngabanye.
Batshele ukuthi bathathe umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zabo
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba ibe nozwela kwabanye futhi ingavumelani nakho konke ngoba nje iqembu likusho. Khumbuza ingane yakho ukuthi umngane weqiniso uzohlala ehlonipha imibono yakho, izintandokazi zakho, kanye nokukhetha kwakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zihluke kangakanani. Kungaba nzima ukuvelela esixukwini ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa ekugcineni, fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi inesibopho salokho ekushoyo nekwenzayo.
Izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele uzikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)
Uma sibheka lokho ebesikhuluma ngakho, ukubhekana namaqembu kungaba nzima ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa khumbula, lezi zinto zingashintsha ngokushesha okukhulu. Iqembu onalo namuhla lingase liphele kusasa. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza abangane bangempela - abantu ongakhuluma nabo, uhleke nabo, futhi uthulule isifuba sakho kubo.
Imfihlo yangempela yokuba 'odumile' ngempela ukuzama ukuba uhlobo lomngane ofuna ukuba yilo: ohloniphayo, olungile, osekelayo, onomusa, othembekile, nolungile. Leso yisifundo esibaluleke kakhulu ongasifundisa ingane yakho.
Abangane besikole , amaqembu, amaqembu, ukubandlululwa, ukuxhashazwa, ubungane obunempilo, ukwesekwa kwabazali











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