E noʻonoʻo e hoʻomaka koke kāu kaikamahine e komo i nā apo pepeiao nani a me nā kūpeʻe lima āu i kūʻai ʻole ai nona. A i ʻole aia i kāu keiki nā CD hou loa a me nā mea uila i loko o kona lumi āu i ʻike ʻole ai. ʻOi aku ka ʻino, i kekahi lā e kāhea aku nā mākaʻi iā ʻoe a ʻōlelo aku ua hopu ʻia kāu keiki e ʻaihue ana i ka hale kūʻai. He mea kēia a kekahi makua e makemake ai e ʻike. Akā, ke manaʻo nei anei kēia e lilo kāu keiki i lawehala? Malia paha, akā ʻaʻole paha.
ʻOi aku ka maʻamau o kēia ma mua o kou manaʻo. ʻOi aku hoʻi nā kaikamahine a me nā keikikāne he 12, 13, 14 mau makahiki, a ʻoi aku paha ka ʻōpio, ke komo nei i kēia ʻano mea. Ma ke ʻano he kauka, ke lohe au i kahi keiki liʻiliʻi e hopu ʻia ana e ʻaihue ana i ka hale kūʻai, ʻaʻole wau e noʻonoʻo koke, 'ʻAuē, ʻo kēia ka maʻi noʻonoʻo koʻikoʻi loa.' Akā, hiki nō paha.
No ke aha lā i hoʻowalewale ʻia ai nā kamaliʻi liʻiliʻi e hana i nā mea e like me kēia?
Inā ʻoe e nīnau i nā keiki he nui i loaʻa i kēia ʻano, "No ke aha ʻoe i hana ai i kēlā?" ʻo kā lākou pane, "ʻAʻole au i ʻike." Akā, hiki ke loaʻa kekahi mau kumu no kēia. E nānā kākou i nā kumu nui.
- Makemake i nā mea nani: ʻO ka makemake e loaʻa nā mea hiki ʻole ke kūʻai ʻia a i ʻole hiki ʻole ke kūʻai ʻia ma ka home (e laʻa me nā lole hou loa, nā mea hoʻonani, nā mea pono kelepona).
- Kaomi a nā hoa: Ke hana nei i kekahi mea no ka mea ke hana nei nā hoaaloha no kahi "pilikia". Hana pū nā keiki i kēia mau mea ma muli o nā pilikia mai nā hoaaloha, e like me "Inā hiki iā ʻoe, e ʻaihue a hana hou." I kēia makahiki, ikaika loa ke kaomi a nā hoa.
- No ka leʻaleʻa a no ka pīhoihoi paha: Aia kekahi mau keiki e hana i kēia me ke kumu ʻole, e ʻike inā e hopu ʻia lākou a ʻaʻole paha, a i ʻole no ka pīhoihoi e hāʻawi mai ai.
- E hōʻike i kou mana: I ka wā e ulu ana nā keiki, makemake lākou e hōʻike i ko lākou mana ponoʻī a me ke kūʻokoʻa. Manaʻo lākou he mana ko lākou ma ka hana ʻana i kahi mea "hewa" a "maikaʻi ʻole paha."
- Nā pilikia noʻonoʻo ma lalo: I kekahi manawa, ʻaʻole kēia no ka leʻaleʻa wale nō. Hiki i nā keiki ke hana ma muli o nā pilikia ma ka home, ke kaumaha, ka manaʻo o ka hoʻowahāwahā ʻia, ka maikaʻi ʻole, a i ʻole ka manaʻo ʻole he waiwai ʻole . Hiki i kēia ke lilo i uē no ke kōkua.
ʻO ka mea nui, aia kahi ʻokoʻa nui ma waena o kahi keiki 12-13 makahiki e hana ana i kēia a me kahi keiki 15-16 makahiki e hoʻomau nei i ka hana ʻana. I ko lākou ulu ʻana, aʻo nā keiki e noʻonoʻo i nā hopena o kā lākou mau hana.
Eia nō naʻe, inā hoʻomau kēia ʻano ma hope o ka piha ʻana o nā makahiki 15, he pilikia paha ia me kahi ` Conduct Disorder` .A i ʻole he hōʻailona paha ia o kahi maʻi e like me ke kleptomania, ʻo ia hoʻi kahi maʻi noʻonoʻo kahi hiki ʻole ke kāohi ʻia ka ʻaihue.
He aha kāu e hana ai ma ke ʻano he makua?
ʻOiai he mea maʻamau kēia i ka wā ʻōpiopio, ʻaʻole ia he mea e lawe māmā ʻia. Inā kānalua ʻoe a i ʻole he hōʻike kāu e ʻaihue ana kāu keiki, he mea nui e kamaʻilio koʻikoʻi me lākou e pili ana i ia mea. Eia kekahi mau ʻanuʻu hiki iā ʻoe ke hana.
| Hana e hana ʻia | He aha ka mea e hana ai? |
|---|---|
| 1. E ʻōlelo mālie. | ʻAʻole e kōkua ka hoʻohewa ʻana a i ʻole ke kuʻi ʻana i kāu keiki. ʻO ka mea mua, e mālie a kamaʻilio me kāu keiki wale nō. E nīnau iā ia me ke aloha, "No ke aha i hana ai kāu keiki kāne/kaikamahine i kēlā?" E hoʻolohe i kāna mea e ʻōlelo ai. |
| 2. E wehewehe i nā hopena | E wehewehe i ke koʻikoʻi o kēia. "E haʻi iā ia i ka ʻino o nā mea ma mua o ka hoʻopaʻi ma ka home. E wehewehe pehea inā hopu ʻia ʻo ia e nā mākaʻi, inā pono ʻo ia e hele i ka ʻaha hoʻokolokolo ʻōpio, e kau ia i kahi māka ʻeleʻele ma kona wā e hiki mai ana." |
| 3. Kōkua e hoʻoponopono i ka hewa | E paipai i kāu keiki e hoʻihoʻi i ka mea i ʻaihue ʻia i ka hale kūʻai. E hele pū me ia. E hele e kala aku i ka mea nona ka hale kūʻai. Inā ʻo ia ka manawa mua, e kala aku paha lākou iā ʻoe me ka ʻole o ka hana kānāwai. He haʻawina maikaʻi kēia no ke keiki. |
| 4. E kuhikuhi i nā pōʻino o ke ao ma waho o ka ʻohana | E hāʻawi i ke keiki i kēia leka: "Ke hana nei ʻoe i kēia manawa me kahi mea ma waho o ka pōʻai palekana o ka ʻohana. I kahi manawa e like me kēia, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke pale mau iā ʻoe. Ke hoʻokomo nei ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka pilikia." Manaʻo nui nā keiki he nui i kēia leka. |
Āhea ʻoe e ʻimi ai i ke kōkua loea?
I ka manawa pinepine, ʻo ka makaʻu a me ka hilahila e hele mai me ka hopu ʻia ʻana i hoʻokahi manawa he haʻawina maikaʻi ia no ke keiki. Eia nō naʻe, inā hoʻomau kēia ʻano , a inā paha e hōʻike ana i nā hōʻailona weliweli ʻē aʻe ma waho aʻe o kēia, pono ʻoe e ʻimi i ke kōkua loea.
He aha nā ʻano ʻē aʻe i laila?
- Inā ʻoe e hana ana me ka hoʻowahāwahā a me ka hana ʻino ma mua o ka wā ma mua.
- Inā ua hoʻopilikia loa ʻia nā hana kula a ua hāʻule nā māka.
- Inā he kānalua no ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka lāʻau lapaʻau a i ʻole ka waiʻona .
- Inā ʻoe e hoʻonāukiuki ʻia i nā mea āpau a ke hōʻike nei i nā hōʻailona o ke kaumaha .
I loko o ia kūlana, me ka hoʻokaʻulua ʻole, e hālāwai me kāu kauka ʻohana (kauka) a kūkākūkā i kēia. E hiki iā ia ke loiloi pololei i ke kūlana o ke keiki a kuhikuhi iā ʻoe i kahi kauka noʻonoʻo a i ʻole kākāʻōlelo inā pono.
E hoʻomanaʻo, ʻo ka ʻaihue ʻana o ke keiki, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo mau he "keiki maikaʻi ʻole" ʻo ia. Hiki iā ia ke lilo i hōʻike waho o kahi pilikia a i ʻole ke kaomi i loko ona. No laila, ʻo ko kākou kuleana ma ke ʻano he mau mākua ke hoʻomaopopo iā ia a alakaʻi iā ia ma ke ala kūpono.
Leka Lawe-Home
- ʻOi aku ka maʻamau o ka ʻaihue hale kūʻai ma mua o kou manaʻo i ka wā ʻōpiopio, akā ʻaʻole pono e lawe māmā ʻia.
- ʻO ke kumu o kēia he mea maʻalahi paha e like me ka mana o nā hoa a i ʻole ka leʻaleʻa, a i ʻole he pilikia hohonu paha e like me ke kaumaha a me ke kaumaha.
- Ma mua o ka hoʻopaʻi ʻana i kāu keiki, e kamaʻilio mālie me ia a wehewehe i ke koʻikoʻi o ka hewa a me nā hopena.
- E kōkua i kāu keiki e hoʻoponopono i ka hewa (e laʻa, e hoʻihoʻi i ka mea). He haʻawina maikaʻi loa kēia.
- Inā hoʻomau kēia ʻano a hōʻike paha i nā hōʻailona pilikia ʻē aʻe (hana ʻino, haʻalele i ka hana kula), e ʻimi koke i ka ʻōlelo aʻo mai kāu kauka a mea hoʻoponopono paha.
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