Kodi mukukumbukira pamene munasonkhana pa chochitika cha banja, tsiku lobadwa, kapena phwando la banja, ndipo munakangana ndi mchimwene wanu kapena mlongo wanu chifukwa cha nkhani yaying'ono? Kodi mumamva ngati munali mwana ndipo mumamva ngati mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo zikukukulirani mkati? Mwina zinali nthabwala chabe, kapena mwina zinali ndemanga yopweteka. Kodi mukuganiza kuti izi ndi vuto kwa inu? Ayi konse. Ichi ndi chinthu chomwe chimachitika m'mabanja ambiri kuposa momwe mukuganizira.
N’chifukwa chiyani mpikisano/mkwiyo umenewu umapitirira ngakhale munthu atakula?
Chifukwa chachikulu cha izi ndi chisamaliro chomwe tinkalandira kuchokera kwa makolo athu tili ana. Mwina mumaganiza kuti makolo anu ankasamalira ndi kukonda m'bale wanu wina kuposa inu. Chingakhale chinthu chomwe chinachitikadi, kapena chingakhale chinthu chomwe mudamva (mudazindikira kusiyana) . Komabe, kumverera kumeneku ndiye chifukwa chachikulu cha mpikisano ndi mkwiyo pakati pa abale. Izi sizimangokhala paubwana. Kafukufuku wina wapeza kuti malingaliro amenewa akadalipo m'maganizo mwa anthu ngakhale atakhala ndi zaka 50 kapena 60, komanso ngakhale makolo awo atamwalira.
Monga akuluakulu, pakhoza kukhala mpikisano pa zinthu monga "Ndani ali wopambana kwambiri?" ndi "Ndani ali wosangalala kwambiri?" Mikangano imeneyi nthawi zambiri imabwera m'mawu. Izi zingachitike kudzera m'zinthu monga kunyoza ndi kunyoza munthu wina.
Zinthuzi zikapitirira kuseka mwaubwenzi, zimatha kukhudza kwambiri thanzi la maganizo la munthu. Makamaka ngati munthu m'modzi ali wokonzeka kuthana ndi mavutowa, koma winayo sali wokonzeka kutero, vutoli likhoza kuipiraipira.
Anthu ena amasiya kulankhulana ndi abale awo chifukwa cha mavuto amenewa. Izi sizimayamba mwadzidzidzi, zili ndi mbiri yakale yomwe imayamba kuyambira ali mwana.
N’chifukwa chiyani mavuto a ubwana amakutsatani mpaka mutakula?
Sitisankha abale athu. Choncho n'zachibadwa kukhala ndi mikangano mukakhala limodzi. Taganizirani izi, akutenga chimodzi mwa zoseweretsa zanu, sachita zomwe mukufuna. Zonse zimayamba ndi zinthu zazing'ono ngati izi.
Monga anthu, nthawi zambiri timadziyerekeza ndi anthu otizungulira. Popeza tili pafupi kwambiri ndi abale athu, timadziyerekeza ndi iwo poyamba. Ichi ndichifukwa chake timapatsidwa maudindo osiyanasiyana m'banjamo mosadziwa. Tangoganizirani kuti m'nyumba muli mwana wosamvera komanso mwana wodekha kwambiri. Mwana wosamvera angaganize kuti makolo amakonda kwambiri mwana wosamvera. Mwana wodekha angaganize kuti ayenera kungokhala ngati "mwana wabwino".
Ngati simupeza mwayi wotuluka mu malingaliro amenewa, mkwiyo ndi nsanje zidzayamba kukula m'maganizo mwanu pakapita nthawi. Izi ndi zomwe pambuyo pake zimayambitsa ndewu, mpikisano, komanso kuyesa kupambana wina ndi mnzake.
Ubale wautali kwambiri m'moyo wanu: Ubale
Mwina mwakhala nthawi yayitali ndi m'bale wanu m'moyo wanu. Nthawi yayitali kuposa abwenzi, okondedwa, kapena makolo. Ndicho chifukwa chake tikakumana ndi abale athu, mwachitsanzo pa chochitika cha banja, timakonda kubwerera ku zizolowezi zakale. Zimafunika khama pang'ono kuti tisiye zizolowezi zimenezo.
Chabwino, tsopano tiyeni tiyambe kufunafuna njira zothetsera vutoli, sichoncho?
Monga akuluakulu, timatha kuganiza ndi kupanga zisankho bwino kuposa ana. Chifukwa chake titha kuyesa kuthetsa mikangano iyi yomwe yakhalapo kwa zaka zambiri . Nazi malangizo ena oti muthandize.
1. Yesani kusintha maganizo anu pang'ono.
Choyamba, ganizirani izi kuchokera pa momwe mchimwene wanu amaonera. Zomwe zinamuchitikira zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri ndi zanu. Mwina simungakumbukire ngakhale nkhani yaying'ono yomwe inayambitsa ndewu. Koma malingaliro oipa omwe adabwera chifukwa cha nkhaniyi akadalipo.
Simuli munthu yemweyo amene munali muli mwana. Ndipo vomerezani kuti m'bale wanu wasintha. Muyang'aneni ndi maso atsopano. "Monga momwe timamangira ubwenzi, tifunika kumanga ubale watsopano wotchedwa ubale," akutero akatswiri a zamaganizo.
2. Tiyeni tikambirane modekha, osakwiya.
Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi apa. Khalani omveka bwino, koma odekha, pa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa iwo ndi zomwe zikukuvutitsani.
Mwachitsanzo, mungagwiritse ntchito chiganizo chonga ichi: "Ndikufuna kuti musiye [kuchita izi] chifukwa zimandipangitsa kumva [ngati simukundikhulupirira]." Kapena, "Ndikufuna kuti musiye kundifunsa mafunso okhudza [nkhaniyi] chifukwa zimandipangitsa kumva kuti ndikukakamizidwa."
Monga ana, sitingathe kulamulira mkwiyo wathu. Koma monga akuluakulu, tikhoza. Mutha kusiya kuganizira za mabala akale ndikupanga zisankho pakali pano.
| Zinthu Zoyenera Kuchita (Zochita) | Zosayenera kuchita |
|---|---|
| Mvetserani: Yesetsani kumvetsetsa maganizo a munthu winayo. Muloleni nayenso alankhule. | Musaganize kuti: Musadzisankhire nokha kuti, "Umu ndi momwe akuganizira." Mufunseni ndipo mudziwe. |
| Chifundo: Ganizirani momwe mungamvere mukanakhala kuti muli m'malo mwawo. | Musakonze vuto: Musayese kukonza vuto mwa kusintha munthu wina. Palibe amene amasangalala ndi zimenezo. |
| Landirani gawo lanu: Pali mbali ziwiri pa nkhondo iliyonse. Mvetsetsani zolakwa zanu. | Musamaganizire zakale: Musamadandaule ndi zinthu zakale monga, "Munali chonchi muli aang'ono." |
| Ikani malire: Ngati pali nkhani zomwe simukufuna kuzikamba, fotokozani momveka bwino. | Musaganize kuti ndi vuto lamatsenga: Ili ndi vuto lomwe lakhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali. Limatenga nthawi ndi khama kuti lithetsedwe. |
Musaope kupempha thandizo.
Nthawi zina, maubwenzi amenewa akhoza kukhala opweteka kwambiri komanso opweteka kwambiri. Pazochitika zotere, ndi bwino kukhazikitsa malire abwino kwa onse awiri m'malo moyesa kukakamiza ubale.
Ngati mwayesetsa kwambiri kukonza ubale wanu koma sukuyenda bwino, ndikofunikira kupeza thandizo la akatswiri. Mutha kulankhula ndi dokotala wa banja lanu ndipo, ngati kuli kofunikira, akutumizireni kwa munthu ngati mlangizi. Sikoyenera kuchita manyazi.
Uthenga Wopita Nawo Kunyumba
- Mikangano ya abale ndi alongo akuluakulu ndi yofala m'mabanja ambiri. Izi si vuto la banja lanu lokha.
- Yesetsani kukhala ndi moyo wamakono osati wakale. Nonse ndinu osiyana tsopano.
- Yang'anani m'bale wanu ndi maso atsopano. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa mbali yake.
- Fotokozani zosowa zanu ndi momwe mukumvera momveka bwino, koma modekha, popanda kukwiya.
- Kumanga ubale kumafuna nthawi ndi khama. Sizichitika mwadzidzidzi.
- Ngati mavutowa ndi ovuta kwambiri kuthetsa nokha, musazengereze kupempha thandizo. Lankhulani ndi dokotala wanu ndipo funsani uphungu wa akatswiri ngati pakufunika kutero.
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