Ngaba umntwana wakho uvele abe nomsindo aze akhale ngequbuliso? (Umsindo ovuthayo) - Masithethe ngale nto!

Xa umntwana wakho omncinci ngequbuliso ecaphuka, ekhala, aze aziqengqeleke phantsi ekhala, mhlawumbi uziva uxinzelelo olukhulu entliziyweni yakho, akunjalo? Ngamanye amaxesha awukwazi nokucinga ngento omawuyenze. Eli liva elijongene nabazali abaninzi. Ngoko ke namhlanje, masithethe ngezi ngxolo zomsindo, okanye into esiyibiza ngokuba yi-'( iingxolo zomsindo )' ebantwaneni .

Yintoni kanye kanye le ngxolo yomsindo?

Ngamafutshane, le yindlela umntwana akhupha ngayo iimvakalelo zakhe zomsindo, ukukhungatheka, okanye ukukhungatheka angenakukulawula ngequbuliso. Le asiyonto icwangcisiweyo. Ngamanye amaxesha banokukhwaza ngamazwi, okanye banokukhulula le ngqumbo ngokushukumisa imizimba yabo okanye ngokushukumisa amalungu abo. Abanye abantwana benza zombini ezi zinto.

Usenokufumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho unenkani kakhulu, ukhathaza abanye, kwaye ngokubanzi wenza izinto ezingathandekiyo. Oku kudla ngokuba ngenxa yokuba engazi ukuba angakuxelela njani kanye kanye into ayifunayo okanye indlela avakalelwa ngayo .

Khawucinge nje, uxelela umntwana omncinci ukuba abeke ithoyizi ecaleni, okanye xa usiya evenkileni uthi, "Ndiphe itshokolethi, " uthi hayi. Nokuba yinto encinci kangaka inokubangela ukuba aqengqeleke phantsi, akhale, aze akhabe izandla zakhe, nto leyo ebangela ingxolo enkulu. Oko kukuthi, indlela abasabela ngayo inkulu kakhulu kunesiganeko ngokwaso .

Ngaba sifanele soyike ezi ngxolo zabantwana abancinci?

Enyanisweni, ezi "Camper Tantrums" ziyinxalenye eqhelekileyo yokukhula komntwana . Zenzeka xa ezama ukuzimela ngakumbi. Le meko ixhaphake kakhulu phakathi kweminyaka eli-1 neli-4 ubudala. Abanye abantwana banokwenza oku kube kanye ngemini.

Kodwa njengoko beqala ukuya esikolweni baze bakwazi ukuthetha ngeemfuno zabo, le meko iyancipha kancinci kancinci. Ngokwesiqhelo, ezi ngxolo zihlala ukusuka kwimizuzu emibini ukuya kweli-15 .

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umsindo womntwana wakho uhlala ixesha elingaphezu kwemizuzu eli-15 kwaye umntwana uziphatha kakubi kakhulu, oko kusenokuba yinto exhalabisayo. Ukuba kunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo Eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukuthetha nogqirha .

Kutheni abantwana abancinci benomsindo kangaka? Zithini izizathu?

Zininzi izizathu zokuba abantwana babe nomsindo. Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziphambili:

• Ukukhathazeka: Ukukhathazeka okubangelwa kukungakwazi ukufezekisa into obuyiceba ukuyenza, xa ungakwazi ukwenza into kakuhle.
• Ingqwalasela iyafuneka:Xa ndifuna ingqalelo yakho.
• Ukufuna into ethile (ithoyi, ukutya): Xa ungayifumani.
• Ukuzama ukungenzi nto: Umzekelo, xa ucelwa ukuba ubeke izinto zokudlala ecaleni, okanye xa ucelwa ukuba uye ekhaya ngelixa udlala.
• Indlala : Abantwana abancinci bayaphoxeka kakhulu xa belambile.
• Ukudinwa: Ukudinwa kakhulu okanye ukungalali ngokwaneleyo kunokukwenza ucaphuke.

Ukongeza koku, kukho ingxabano enkulu ezingqondweni zabantwana abancinci. Oko kukuthi, banomnqweno omkhulu wokuzenzela izinto bodwa kwaye bazimele , ngelixa bekwafuna ingqalelo nothando lwabazali babo. Baphantsi koxinzelelo olukhulu phakathi kwaba babini. Kwakhona, ngokungafaniyo nabantu abadala, abakaphuhlisi izakhono zokumelana neemeko ukuze balawule iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bajongane nokukhungatheka. Ekubeni bengenazo izakhono zokuthetha zokuveza iimvakalelo zabo ngamazwi, baveza ezo mvakalelo ngendlela elula abayaziyo, oko kukuthi ngokukhala, ukukhala, nokuzabalaza. Kufana nokukhwaza besithi, "Ndifuna oku!"

Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ndingumzali ombi xa umntwana wam enomsindo?

Hayi suka! Ukucaphuka komntwana wakho akukwenzi ube ngumzali ombi. Kubalulekile ukuqonda oku. Ukucaphuka komntwana kuphenjelelwa bubuntu bakhe, indawo akuyo ngelo xesha, kunye nenyaniso yokuba yinxalenye yendalo yokukhula kwakhe . Le yinxalenye eqhelekileyo yokukhula . Ngoko ke ungazibeki tyala ngokungeyomfuneko.

Zithini iimpawu zomsindo ovuthayo? Uzibona njani?

Xa umntwana enomsindo, unokubona ezi mpawu zilandelayo:

• Ndisoloko ndikhala, ndikhala, kwaye ndikhwaza.
• Ukukhaba, ukubetha, mhlawumbi nokuluma.
• Bawangawangisa iingalo nemilenze yabo, bezama ngamandla.
• Ndibambe umphefumlo wam.
• Ngamanye amaxesha umzimba uyaqina , okanye utyhafe .

Senza ntoni xa umntwana enomsindo?

Kulungile, masibone ukuba simele siziphathe njani xa umntwana wethu enomsindo.

• Ukuphazamisa: Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana wakho uza kuba nomsindo, kodwa akabonakali engakwazi ukulawula, zama ngokukhawuleza ukuphambukisa ingqalelo yakhe. Mbonise into ayithandayo, mbandakanye komnye umdlalo okanye umsebenzi.
• Hlala uzolile: Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Xa umntwana wakho enomsindo, musa ukukhwaza, ukusongela, ukufundisa, okanye ukuphikisana. Ukwenza njalo kuya kuyenza ibe mandundu ngakumbi imisindo. Kamva, xa umntwana wakho ethule kwaye ethule, thetha ngendlela aziphatha ngayo.
• Musa ukuyityeshela ingqumbo:Oku kufundisa umntwana ukuba akanakuziphatha ngolu hlobo aze acele into ayifunayo, kwaye oku akwamkelekanga.
• Gcina umntwana wakho ebonakala: Ukuba usevenkileni okanye kwenye indawo kawonke-wonke, hlala umbona umntwana wakho kwaye nomntwana wakho ebonakala kuwe. Ukuba ukhathazekile ukuba umntwana wakho angazenzakalisa okanye azenzakalise abanye, msuse kwindawo engqongileyo.
• Qinisekisa ukhuseleko: Susa izinto ezinokuba yingozi (izinto ezibukhali, izinto ezinokuqhekeka) kwindawo ehlala umntwana. Ukuba umntwana wakho ngamanye amaxesha uzama ukuzilimaza, mbambe ngononophelo. Ukuba umntwana wakho uziphatha ngendlela engalawulekiyo, mthathe umse kwindawo ekhuselekileyo umshiye ade azole. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, ungamnika "ixesha lokuphumla". Oko kukuthi, zama ukumthumela kwigumbi elingenaTV okanye ezinye izinto zokudlala, apho anokuba yedwa okwethutyana.

Musa ukuzikhankanya ezi zinto:

• Ukuvumela izinto ezifunwa ngumntwana wakho, utshintshe ingqondo yakho: Oku kuya kunceda umntwana wakho afunde ukuba xa enomsindo, angafumana into ayifunayo ngokulila nangokulwa. Ukuba usekhaya kwaye uqinisekile ukuba umntwana wakho ukhuselekile, ungamshiya kwelinye igumbi.
• Musa ukumbetha, ukumluma, okanye ukumphindisela: Usenokucinga ukuba ukwenza njalo kuya kwenza umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ezi zinto ziyamlimaza. Kodwa okuchaseneyo kuyenzeka. Umntwana uya kucinga ukuba kulungile ukwenza oku kuba umama/utata uyakwenza. Endaweni yoko, mxelele ngokucacileyo ukuba oko akwenzayo kuyamlimaza kwaye akulunganga.

Wenza ntoni emva kokuba uphulukene nomsindo wakho?

Wakuba umsindo uphelile kwaye umntwana wakho ethobile, ungathetha naye ngokwenzekileyo. Ungathetha nangendlela onokuyenza ngayo ukuthintela umsindo ofanayo ukuba ungaphindi ubuye. Zama oku:

• Mncome umntwana wakho ngokuzola: Mncome umntwana wakho ngokuziphatha kakuhle nangezigqibo ezilungileyo. Abantwana abancinci bathanda ukuqatshelwa ngomsebenzi wabo omhle. Thetha ngqo kangangoko unako. Endaweni yokuthi nje, "Wenza kakuhle," thetha into efana nale, "Awuzange ukhwaze evenkileni, uthethe kancinci, nyana." Oku kunceda umntwana wakho afunde oko kulindelekileyo kunye nokuziphatha okwamkelekileyo.
• Qonda iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho: Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyayiqonda inkxalabo yakhe. Mxelele ukuba ufuna ukunceda. Abantwana bahlala befuna ingqalelo. Ngoko ke, ukubaqonda nokuthetha nabo kunokunceda ekunciphiseni iimvakalelo zabo.
• Bafundise ukubiza iimvakalelo zabo: Abantwana abancinci abanamagama okuchaza iimvakalelo zabo. Abazi ukuba bangaziveza njani iimvakalelo zabo ezibuhlungu, umona, umsindo, okanye ukudana. "Iingxolo zomsindo" yindlela abanokuziveza ngayo ezo mvakalelo. Banike amagama ezo mvakalelo. Umzekelo, "Ndiyabona ukuba unomsindo ngoku. Uyalila, kwaye ubuso bakho bubomvu."
• Fundisa indlela yokujongana neemvakalelo ezinzima:Bancede bafunde indlela yokujongana nengxaki ngaphandle kokukhathazeka. Emva koko baya kufunda ukuba banokuzisombulula ezinye zeengxaki zabo ngokwabo. Emva koko baya kuba ngabantu abazimeleyo ngakumbi kwaye bangabi nomsindo kangako.
• Yiba ngumzekelo omhle: Abantwana basoloko bejonga kubazali babo. Baxelisa indlela oziphatha ngayo. Xa unomsindo okanye ukhathazekile, bonisa umntwana wakho indlela enempilo ojongana ngayo nezo mvakalelo. Emva koko umntwana wakho uya kuqala ukuziphatha ngendlela efanayo.

Ngaba zikho iindlela zokuthintela ezi ngxaki zomsindo?

Inyaniso kukuba, awunakudala imeko engenamsindo kwaphela. Oku kungenxa yokuba abantwana bathetha ngeemfuno zabo neemvakalelo zabo. Yinto eqhelekileyo yokukhula. Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto onokuzenza ukunciphisa ukuphindaphindeka nobukhali bezi msindo:

• Banike ukhetho: Banike ukhetho ngaphakathi kwemida efanelekileyo. Umzekelo, ukukhetha phakathi kweempahla ezimbini, okanye ukukhetha phakathi kokutya okubini. Xa benokukhetha, abantwana baziva belawula. Kodwa qiniseka ukuba ukhululekile ngokukhetha phakathi kwezinto ezimbini. Musa ukubanika ithemba lobuxoki.
• Lungiselela utshintsho: Utshintsho olufana nokushiya indlu okanye ukubuya ekudlaleni lunokuba nzima ebantwaneni. Ngoko ke, balungiselele olu tshintsho ngaphambi kokuba lwenzeke. Utshintsho olukhulu (usana olutsha olujoyina usapho, ukufuduka kwendlu), kungcono nangakumbi ukumlungiselela umntwana wakho.
• Jonga indlela otya ngayo kunye nendlela olala ngayo: Ngamanye amaxesha, ukucaphuka kunokubangela ukuba umntu abe nomsindo. Le ndlela yokuziphatha inokubangelwa kukutya okungondleki kakuhle kunye nokungalali ngokwaneleyo . Ngoko ke, qiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho utya ukutya okunesondlo kwaye ulala ngokwaneleyo.

Ndingathetha nini nogqirha malunga nomsindo womntwana wam omncinci?

Kungcono ukuthetha nogqirha womntwana wakho kwezi meko zilandelayo:

• Ukuba ezi ngxolo ziyaqhubeka emva kokuba umntwana eneminyaka emi-4 ubudala , okanye ukuba ziya ziphindaphindeka.
• Ukuba umntwana uyazilimaza, wenzakalisa abanye, okanye utshabalalisa izinto zasekhaya xa enomsindo.
• Ukuba umntwana ubamba umphefumlo wakhe xa enomsindo (ingakumbi ukuba ulahlekelwa zingqondo ngelo xesha).
• Ukuba umntwana uhlala eneentloko ezibuhlungu, isisu esibuhlungu, kunye "nexhala" (uloyiko/ixhala elingeyomfuneko) .
• Usenokukufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukujongana nale misindo, kwaye usenokungazi ukuba ungajongana njani nayo ngokukhuselekileyo.

Xa ubona ugqirha, uza kukubuza imibuzo malunga nokudumba. Le mibuzo iza kumnceda aqonde ukuba oku kuqhelekile okanye kukho into ekufuneka ayixhalabele:

• Zenzeka nini ezi ntshukumo zomsindo?
• Yintoni edla ngokwenzeka ngaphambi kokuba ucaphuke?
• Wenza ntoni xa umntwana wakho enomsindo?
• Ube nomsindo ixesha elingakanani?
• Uphendula njani kuloo nto?
• Umntwana uziphatha njani xa engacaphukanga?
• Ingaba bekukho utshintsho olukhulu kwimeko yasekhaya okanye kwimeko yesikolo?
• Ngaba ukhe wafudukela kwenye indawo kutshanje?
• Ngaba kubekho utshintsho olukhulu kusapho (uqhawulo-mtshato, ukuzalwa komntwana omtsha)?
• Ingaba kukho into eyenze umntwana okanye nabani na kusapho wamenzakalisa okanye wamenzakalisa?
• Ngaba umntwana unezinye iingxaki, umzekelo, iingxaki zokulala okanye iingxaki zokuziphatha?

Masikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Ukucaphuka ngokukhawuleza, nangona kucaphukisa kancinci, kuyinxalenye eqhelekileyo yokukhula komntwana. Abantwana abancinci, ingakumbi abo baneminyaka ephakathi kwe-1 ne-4 ubudala, badla ngokuba nomsindo ngokukhawuleza, nokuba bacaphuka kanye okanye kabini ngosuku. Oku kudla ngokubangelwa kukungqubana phakathi kwesidingo sabo sokuzimela kunye nesidingo sabo sokunakekelwa ngabazali. Kwakhona, abantwana abancinci basenokungakwazi ukuthetha iimvakalelo zabo.

Xa umntwana wakho ekhathazekile, hlala uzolile kangangoko unako. Zama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho. Nje ukuba umntwana wakho athobe, mnike amagama eemvakalelo zakhe kwaye umfundise indlela yokujongana bhetele nokukhathazeka kwakhe.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umsindo womntwana wakho uhlala ixesha elingaphezulu kwemizuzu eli-15, udlamkile kakhulu, okanye uyaqhubeka emva kweminyaka emi-4 ubudala, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ufune ingcebiso kagqirha. Kwakhona, ukuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukujongana nale meko, ungathandabuzi ukucela uncedo.

Umsindo wabantwana , umsindo wabantwana abancinci, umsindo ovuthayo, ukuziphatha kwabantwana, iingcebiso zokukhulisa abantwana, ulawulo lwabantwana, isayikholoji yabantwana