Ngaba yonke into kufuneka ibe 'yigqibelele'? Kukho icala eliyingozi koku (ukuthanda ukugqibelela)

Ngaba ukho umntu omaziyo ocinga ukuba nokuba wenza ntoni na, kufuneka igqibelele, ngaphandle kwempazamo encinci? Mhlawumbi nawe uvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo. Nangona kunokubonakala ngathi yinto elungileyo ukwenza into ethile kanye, ngaphandle kweziphene, oku kuyinto ebangela uxinzelelo kwaye inokuchaphazela kakubi ubomi bethu. Namhlanje sithetha ngale meko yengqondo yokuba 'yonke into mayigqibelele', oko kukuthi, ukuthanda ukugqibelela .

Yintoni kanye kanye into yokuba umntu ugqibelele?

Ngamafutshane, yimfuno enamandla yokuba yonke into igqibelele, ukuba ngokugqibeleleyo, nokubonwa ngabanye njengento epheleleyo. Kodwa oku kwahlukile kakhulu ekuzameni ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho. Ukuzama ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho kusempilweni. Kodwa ukufuna ukugqibelela yimeko yengqondo engalunganga apho uzibeka uxinzelelo, uzibekele usukelo olungenakwenzeka, uze udandatheke xa ungazifikeleli.

Kukho iintlobo ezimbini eziphambili zokuthanda ukugqibelela. Zombini zibeka imigangatho ephezulu. Kodwa abantu abafuna ukugqibelela ngendlela engafanelekanga bafumana uxinzelelo olukhulu xa bengaphumeleli ukufezekisa ezo njongo.

Ngokutsho kophando , le meko inamacandelo amathathu:

• Ukuthanda ukugqibelela okujolise kuwe: Ukulindela ukugqibelela kuwe.
• Ukuthanda ukugqibelela okujolise kwabanye: Ukulindela ukugqibelela kwabo bakungqongileyo (usapho, abahlobo, abasebenzi).
• Ukuthanda ukugqibelela okumiselwe luluntu: Ukunyamezela phantsi koxinzelelo oluvela kuluntu okanye kwabanye ukuze ugqibelele.

Nokuba uluhlobo luni na, uzibekela imithetho enzima kakhulu nengqongqo. Oku kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuba kuncede. Makhe sibone ukuba yintoni na.

1. Ukulibazisa kunye nokuncipha kwemveliso

Kuyamangalisa ukuba abantu abazama ukwenza yonke into kakuhle nangokugqibeleleyo badla ngokulibazisa. Oko kuthetha ukuba abanamveliso ingako. Kutheni kunjalo?

Khawuthelekelele uneprojekthi enkulu ekufuneka uyenze. Njengomntu ofuna ukugqibelela, uceba ukuyenza ngokuchanekileyo ngokupheleleyo, nokuba kuncinci kangakanani na. Kodwa uxinzelelo lokuba kufuneka igqibelele kangakanani ikwenza woyike ukuqala iprojekthi. Ucinga, "Owu, andisoze ndigqibelele njengoko ndicinga," uze uyibeke ecaleni iprojekthi de kube sekupheleni.

2. Ubuthathaka bengqondo kunye noxinzelelo oluphezulu

Njengomntu othanda ukugqibelela, uthwala uxinzelelo olukhulu emagxeni akho. Oku kungenziwa nguwe ngokwakho, okanye kungaba yinto ocinga ukuba ivela kuluntu. Olu xinzelelo lugqithisileyo lunokukwenza ube buthathaka kakhulu engqondweni. Oku kuvula ithuba lokufumana ezinye iingxaki zengqondo.

Ezinye zazo zezi:

• Ixhala kunye nokudakumba
• Iingcinga zokuzibulala
• Ubulolo
• Ukungabi namonde nokukhungatheka
• Umsindo
• Ukuzingisa kakhulu kunye nokunyanzelisa

Ukongeza, usenokuba sengozini yesifo esibizwa ngokuba yi-Imposter Syndrome . Kulapho uziva ngathi, "Andifanelekanga kwesi sikhundla, kulo msebenzi, kolu lwalamano. Andilunganga njengabanye. Ndiyabakhohlisa abantu." Ezi ngcinga zinokukuthintela nokukwazi kwakho ukugqwesa emsebenzini okanye kwizifundo zakho.

3. Ixhala kunye noxinzelelo

Kukho ulwalamano olusondeleyo phakathi kokuthanda ukugqibelela kunye noxinzelelo/uxinzelelo. Xa ungaphumeleli ukuhlangabezana nemigangatho ephezulu ozibekele yona, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo oluvayo lunokubangela ixhala. Ukuba le meko iyaqhubeka, ingakhokelela kuxinzelelo.

Abanye abantu abazibonisi ezi mvakalelo ngaphandle. Bafihla ixhala labo, usizi, kunye nokukhungatheka, baze bazenze bancume 'ngokugqibeleleyo'. Le yimeko eyingozi kakhulu. Kuba nokuba uphoxekile bubomi kwaye uneengcinga zokuzibulala, akukho mntu waziyo ngayo. Usenokuziva ungento yanto.

Ukuba uziva ezi mvakalelo, nceda ungabi wedwa. Thetha nomntu omthembayo. Okanye ngokuqinisekileyo bonana nogqirha wakho nithethe ngale nto.

4. Iingxaki zempilo yomzimba

Olu xinzelelo lunokuchaphazela nomzimba. Abanye abantu banokuba neengxaki zokutya. Umzekelo yi -Orthorexia Nervosa . Oku kwenzeka xa umntu enemithetho eqinileyo nengqongqo malunga noko akutyayo noko akuselayo, aze azive enetyala elikhulu kwaye exinezelekile ukuba uphambuka kancinci kuloo ndlela yokutya.

Le mfuneko inzulu yokulawula yonke into ebomini ngamanye amaxesha inokukhokelela kwi-Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).Ingakhula ibe sisifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuba yi-perfectionism. Ukuthanda ukugqibelela ngumnqweno onamandla wokulawula. Xa olo lawulo lulahlekile, ezinye iingxaki zengqondo zinokuvela.

5. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu

Esinye isiphumo esibi kukuxinezeleka kubudlelwane bakho nosapho lwakho, iqabane lakho kunye nabahlobo. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba ulindele imigangatho efanayo 'egqibeleleyo' kwabanye okulindeleyo kuwe, apho kuvela khona iingxaki.

Usenokufumana amaphutha nakwizinto ezincinci ezenziwa liqabane lakho. Usenokuba nolindelo olungenakwenzeka kubantwana bakho. Usenokungoneliseki ngumsebenzi owenziwa ngabanye emsebenzini. Oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo olukhulu kwabo bakungqongileyo kwaye kubenze bazihlukanise nawe. Oku akulunganga kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.

6. Ukungakwazi ukuphila ngoku

Ingqondo yomntu othanda ukugqibelela isoloko isebenza. Awukho kwixesha langoku, usengqondweni yakho. Usenokuba ukhalaza ngento eyenzekileyo kwixesha elidlulileyo ("Ukuba bendiyenzile ngcono kancinci ..."), okanye uceba indlela yokwenza into ngokugqibeleleyo kwixesha elizayo.

Oku kubangela ukuba ulahlekelwe luvuyo noxolo lwangoku. Xa uthetha nomhlobo, uchitha ixesha nosapho, okanye undwendwela indawo entle, ingqondo yakho ayikho apho. Oku kukwenza uzive unesizungu kwaye udanile ngakumbi.