Intlungu kunye nobulolo esibuvayo xa silahlekelwa ngumntu osondeleyo kuthi kwaye simthanda kunzima ukubuchaza, akunjalo? Kuyafana naxa silahlekelwa kakhulu ebomini bethu ngenxa yengozi okanye intlekele yendalo. Olu sizi lunzulu kunye nentlungu yinto esiyibiza ngokuba "yintlungu." Oku kuqhelekile, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha olu sizi luba nzima kakhulu ukuluthwala. Ngoko ke namhlanje, masithethe ngokuba yintoni intlungu kunye nendlela esinokufumana ngayo uncedo lokujamelana nayo.
Yintoni iNgcebiso ngeNgxaki?
Ngamafutshane, ingcebiso ngentlungu lunyango lobuchwephesha olukunceda ukujongana nokulawula intlungu enzulu ozivayo. Lukunceda uqonde iimvakalelo zakho, ungalwi nazo, kwaye uphile ngenyaniso yakho entsha.
Ingcali yezengqondo u-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wafumanisa amanqanaba amahlanu aphambili entlungu ngo-1969. Nangona kungengabo bonke abantu abadlula kuzo zonke ezi zigaba ngokulandelelana kwazo, kubalulekile ukuba bazazi.
- Ukukhanyela: Ukucinga, "Hayi, oku akunakwenzeka."
- Umsindo : Ukucaphuka ngawe, kwabanye, nakuThixo, ubuza, "Kutheni oku kwenzeke kum?"
- Ukuxoxisana: Ukuzama ukutshintsha imeko ngokucinga izinto ezinje, "Ukuba bendikwenzile oku, ngesaphila."
- Uxinzelelo: Iimvakalelo zosizi olunzulu, isizungu, kunye nokulahlekelwa ngumdla kuyo nayiphi na into.
- Ukwamkela: Ukuvuma ukuba ilahleko yenzekile kwaye uzimisele ukuqhubeka nelo nyaniso.
Khumbula, wonke umntu uziva ebuhlungu ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Akukho xesha okanye ucwangco olumiselweyo. Abanye abantu baziva ezibini okanye ezintathu kwezi zigaba, ngelixa abanye baziva ngendlela eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo.
Ngeli xesha, unokufumana iimpawu ezifana nezi:
- Ndiziva ndothukile kakhulu
- Ukungakholwa
- Ixhala kunye nokungazoli
- Uxinzelelo lwengqondo oluqatha
- Ukungalali
- Umnqweno wokutya
Ukuba ezi mvakalelo zikwenza kube nzima kuwe ukusebenza ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, luphawu lokuba udinga uncedo. Abanye abantu bayachacha kwiinyanga ezi-6, kodwa abanye banokuthatha unyaka okanye ngaphezulu.
Ngaba kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlungu?
Ewe, uhlobo lwentlungu lunokwahluka ngokuxhomekeke kuhlobo lokulahlekelwa esikufumanayo kunye nolwalamano esinalo naloo mntu okanye into leyo. Makhe sijonge ezinye zezona ntlobo ziphambili.
Intlungu Enzima
Uninzi lwabantu lufunda ukulawula intlungu yabo ngokuhamba kwexesha. Kodwa kwabanye abantu (malunga ne-15%) le ntlungu inokuhlala unyaka nangaphezulu, kwaye inokuba nzima kakhulu. Oku kubizwa ngokuba yintlungu enzima . Ingenza kube nzima ukusebenza kubomi bemihla ngemihla.
| Iimpawu zentlungu enzima | |
|---|---|
| Ukuziva ulusizi oluqatha nolungapheliyo kunye nokubandezeleka kwengqondo. | Ndisoloko ndinqwenela ukuba ungadibana nomntu olahlekileyo kwakhona. |
| Ukuziva ungenanto kwaye ungenathemba ngobomi. | Ukuhlala ndicinga ngomntu olahlekileyo okanye indlela asweleke ngayo. |
| Kunzima ukukhumbula neenkumbulo ezimnandi zomntu olahlekileyo ngovuyo. | Ukuphepha nantoni na (iindawo, izinto) ekukhumbuza umntu olahlekileyo. |
| Ukulahlekelwa yimvakalelo yokuba ungubani, ukuziva ulahlekelwe bubuntu bakho. | Ukuzama ukuhlala wedwa, kude nabahlobo nosapho. |
Intlungu Ebuhlungu
Khawuthelekelele indlela obuya kuziva ngayo ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntu omthandayo ngequbuliso, njengakwingozi, okanye ukuba ubusibonile eso siganeko ngamehlo akho. Intlungu eyenzeka kwimeko enjalo inokubizwa ngokuba yintlungu ebuhlungu . Ezi mvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha zinokuvela kwiiyure, iintsuku, okanye iiveki emva kwesi siganeko. Oku kunokuba ngamava anzima kakhulu kwaye ayoyikisayo ukujongana nawo. Ukuba uhlangabezana nale meko, bona ugqirha wakho ngoko nangoko kwaye ucele uncedo.
Isifo sentliziyo esaphukileyo
Nangona intlungu ingenakumbulala umntu, uxinzelelo lomothuko ngequbuliso lunokuchaphazela intliziyo. Xa uziva ulusizi olugqithisileyo, umzimba wakho ukhupha iihormone ezininzi zoxinzelelo. Oku kunokubangela ukuba inxalenye yentliziyo yakho idumbe kwaye igazi lakho limpompe ngokungacwangciswanga. Usenokuba neentlungu zesifuba, ezifana nokuhlaselwa yintliziyo. Oku kubizwa ngokuba yi -broken heart syndrome . Kodwa ungakhathazeki, uninzi lwabantu luyaphila kwiiveki ezimbalwa.
Ubudlelwane phakathi kosizi kunye nokudakumba
Iimpawu zentlungu, ezinje ngosizi, ixhala, kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, zifana kakhulu nezo zoxinzelelo. Nangona kunjalo, ezi meko zahlukile. Nangona kunjalo, intlungu ingakhokelela kuxinzelelo, olunokwenza intlungu ibe mandundu. Ke ngoko, ukuba unale mpawu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha nogqirha, ugqirha wengqondo, okanye umcebisi.
Ziziphi iindlela ezisetyenziswayo xa kucetyiswa abantu abasweleyo?
Kukho iinjongo ezine eziphambili zokunika iingcebiso ngentlungu:
- Ukunceda ukwamkela ukuba ilahleko yinto yokwenyani.
- Isikhokelo sokujongana nentlungu yosizi.
- Ukunceda ukuqhelana nobomi ngaphandle komntu olahlekileyo.
- Ukufumana iindlela zokuqhubela phambili ebomini, ngelixa ugcina ulwalamano nomntu olahlekileyo entliziyweni yakho.
Ngenxa yesi sizathu, iingcali zengqondo okanye abacebisi basebenzisa iindlela ezifana neCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) okanye iPsychotherapy .
| Indlela yokunika iingcebiso | Inkcazo |
|---|---|
| Ebhekisa kwincoko | Ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba uthethe ngokulahlekelwa, umntu olahlekelwe nguye, kunye neemeko ezikhokelele ekufeni. |
| Ukuqatshelwa kweemvakalelo | Ucelwa ukuba uchaze iimvakalelo ozivayo (usizi, umsindo, ukuziva unetyala). |
| Amaqhinga okuthintela | Amaqhinga okulwa nobunzima aphuhliswa ukuze ajongane neentsuku ezikhethekileyo ezifana nemihla yokuzalwa kunye nezikhumbuzo. |
| Ukuchonga iindlela zokuziphatha eziyingozi | Ukuchonga nokunceda ukoyisa iindlela zokuziphatha eziyingozi eziyingozi kubomi bemihla ngemihla. |
| Ukwakha ubuwena obutsha | Ikunceda wakhe ubudlelwane obutsha kwaye udale ubuwena obutsha ebomini. |
Unokunceda njani abantwana ukuba bajamelane nentlungu?
Abantwana baziva intlungu ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunabantu abadala. Ekuqaleni abaqondi ukuba ilahleko injani kunye nempembelelo yayo ebomini babo. Bafunda ukulila ngokubukela abantu abadala. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba nenyani kwaye uthethe ngqo xa uthetha nomntwana ngale nto.
Ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntu omthandayo, kubalulekile ukufuna uncedo lomcebisi wabantwana ukuze akuncede ufunde indlela yokujongana nentlungu ngendlela enempilo. Ungabandakanyeka nakwi-family therapy njengentsapho. Unganceda umntwana wakho aqonde le lahleko ngemisebenzi efana nokubalisa amabali nokudlala.
Ndingayifumana njani ingcebiso?
Ukuba intlungu yakho ikwenza kube nzima ukusebenza, kungcono ukufuna uncedo lweengcali. Akukaze kube kudala kakhulu okanye kube sebusuku kakhulu ukufuna uncedo. Kodwa okukhona ufuna uncedo ngokukhawuleza, kokukhona unokukwazi ukukhawuleza ukwakha amandla owadingayo ukuze uhlangabezane nalo.
Ungathetha nogqirha wakho wosapho uze ufumane isalathiso kwingcali yezengqondo okanye umcebisi ofanelekileyo. Ungafumana noncedo kwiiyunithi zempilo yengqondo kwizibhedlele zikarhulumente. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukucela uncedo kwaye ungabandezeleki wedwa.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu xa ufelwe ngumntu omthandayo. Asikobuthathaka.
- Wonke umntu ulila ngokwahlukileyo kwaye ixesha elithathwayo lahlukile. Musa ukuzithelekisa nabanye.
- Ukuba intlungu yakho inzima kangangokuba ikuthintela ekwenzeni imisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla, ungathandabuzi ukufuna uncedo lweengcali. Thetha nogqirha wakho.
- Khathalela impilo yakho yomzimba neyengqondo ngeli xesha. Yitya kakuhle, qhelisa umzimba kangangoko unako, kwaye ulale ngokwaneleyo.
- Yiba nomonde kuwe. Zinike ixesha lokuphola.
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