Sonke siye sahlangabezana nosizi nentlungu eza nokulahlekelwa ngumntu okanye into esiyithandayo. Kufana nesithuba esikhulu ngaphakathi. Ngamanye amaxesha sihamba neemvakalelo ezininzi ezifana nomsindo kunye nesizungu. Oku sikubiza ngokuba 'yintlungu'. Kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Kodwa ukwazi indlela yokujongana nezi mvakalelo, indlela yokuzinyamekela, kunye nendlela yokucela uncedo xa kuyimfuneko, kuya kukunika amandla amakhulu okudlula kweli xesha linzima.
Yintoni kanye kanye intlungu?
Ngamafutshane, intlungu yindlela yemvelo yokusabela xa ulahlekelwe yinto exabisekileyo kuthi. Le lahleko inokuba ngeendlela ezininzi.
- Ukufa komntu omthanda kakhulu.
- Ukuqhawuka kothando okanye umtshato.
- Ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi .
- Ingxaki yempilo, efana nesifo esingapheliyo.
- Ukushiya indlu okanye ilali ohlala kuyo uye kwenye indawo.
Intlungu inokubakho nakuphi na utshintsho olukhulu ebomini olufana nolu. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba wonke umntu azive ngendlela eyahlukileyo intlungu. Omnye umntu usenokungaziva ngendlela oziva ngayo. Akukho nto imbi ngaloo nto.
Ngaba kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlungu?
Ewe, intlungu ingahlulwahlulwa ibe ziintlobo ngeentlobo ngokuxhomekeke kwindlela esivakalelwa ngayo. Ukuzazi ezi zinto kuya kukunceda uqonde iimvakalelo zakho.
| Uhlobo lwentlungu | Ingcaciso elula |
|---|---|
| Intlungu Enganzima | Olu lolona hlobo luxhaphakileyo. Usizi nentlungu zivakala kakhulu kwiinyanga ezi-6 zokuqala emva kokulahlekelwa. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, ezo mvakalelo ziyaphela kancinci kancinci. |
| Intlungu Elindelekileyo | Intlungu kukuziva ulusizi ngaphambi kokuba ulahlekelwe. Umzekelo, xa ilungu losapho lifunyaniswa linesifo esinganyangekiyo, intlungu ehambisana nokuziva ukuba alisekho. |
| Usizi Oluthintelweyo | Ukubambelela kusizi nokuzama ukungacingi ngalo kunokubangela iimpawu zomzimba ezifana nokuxinana kwesifuba, ukungalali, kunye nobunzima bokuphefumla. |
| Usizi Olulibazisekileyo | Intlungu ingaqala kwiiveki, kwiinyanga, okanye kwiminyaka emva kokulahlekelwa, ngaphandle kokuqaphela kangako ngelo xesha. Le ntlungu ingavela emva kokufa, xa uxakekile yiloo misebenzi, uze emva koko ukhululeke. |
| Intlungu Ebuhlungu | Intlungu ehambisana nokulahlekelwa inokuba nkulu kangangokuba akunakwenzeka ukwenza imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla. Intlungu inzima kangangokuba akukho zinkumbulo zintle zomntu olahlekelweyo ezifika engqondweni. |
| Intlungu Ehlangeneyo | Intlungu ebangelwa sisiganeko esichaphazela iqela elikhulu labantu ngaxeshanye. Umzekelo, intlungu efunyanwa luluntu lonke ngenxa yento efana netsunami, uhlaselo lwePasika, okanye ubhubhane. |
| Ingxaki Yokulila Enzima Okanye Ende | Ukuba intlungu iyanda endaweni yokuncipha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye ukuba ukulahlekelwa akwamkelekanga kwaphela, oku kunokuba njalo. Ukuba unale mpawu, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ubone ugqirha. |
Ukuba ucinga ukuba unentlungu enzima, musa ukulibazisa ukufuna uncedo. Ibaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yakho yengqondo.
Amanqanaba amahlanu entlungu
Ngeminyaka yoo-1960, u-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ( ELISA)UBeth Kübler-Ross, ugqirha wengqondo, uchonge amanqanaba amahlanu aphambili apho abantu bajongana nentlungu. Kodwa khumbula, la manqanaba awafiki ngokulandelelana okufanayo kuwo wonke umntu. Abanye abantu banokuwafumana ngalinye ngexesha. Amanye amanqanaba asenokungaphunyezwa. Ukuzazi ezi zinto kunokukunceda uqonde ukuba into oyivayo iqhelekile.
1. Ukungavumi: Imvakalelo yokuqala efika engqondweni xa ufumanisa ukuba kukho umntu olahlekelweyo kukuba, "Hayi, oku akunakwenzeka." Ingqondo iba ndindisholo, ingakwazi ukuziva nantoni na. Le yindlela yokuzikhusela esetyenziselwa ukubaleka okwethutyana intlungu enganyamezelekiyo.
2. Umsindo: Njengoko uqala ukuqonda inyaniso yemeko, umsindo uqala ukuhamba nentlungu. Uzibuza ukuba, "Kutheni le nto yenzeke kum?" Lo msindo ungajoliswanga kwabanye, koogqirha, kuThixo, kodwa nakubantu omthandayo owakushiyayo. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo.
3. Ukuxoxisana: Kule nqanaba, iingcinga ezinje ngokuthi "Ukuba bendikwenzile oko, ngekungazange kwenzeke oku" zifika engqondweni. "Ukuba nje..." iingcinga zizalisa ingqondo. Abanye bade bazame ukuxoxisana noThixo, njengokuthi "Ukuba nje bendinokumsindisa, bendinokukwenza oku."
4. Uxinzelelo: Xa uyiqonda ngokwenene ilahleko kunye nempembelelo yayo ebomini bakho, uqala ukuziva usizi olukhulu kunye nosizi. Izinto ezifana nokulila kakhulu, iingxaki zokulala, kunye nokuphelelwa ngumdla wokutya ziyenzeka ngeli xesha. Kuqhelekile ukuziva unesizungu kwaye ungenakunceda.
5. Ukwamkela: Eli linqanaba lokugqibela lentlungu. Apha, uyamkela ukuba okwenzekileyo yinyani. Uyaqonda ukuba awunakuyitshintsha. Nangona intlungu ingapheli ngokupheleleyo, uqala ukwenza isigqibo sokuqhubeka nobomi bakho.
Intlungu ichaphazela njani umzimba nengqondo yakho?
Usizi aluyonto nje eyenzeka engqondweni, kodwa luchaphazela nomzimba. Uxinzelelo olukhulu olubangelwa lunokukhokelela kwiimpawu ezahlukeneyo zomzimba nezeemvakalelo.
| Uhlobo oluneempawu | Izinto ezinokuviwa |
|---|---|
| Iimpawu Zomzimba | |
| Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo |
|
| Iimpawu Zeemvakalelo | |
| Iimvakalelo |
|
Zithini Izinto Ezibangela Usizi?
Ezi zizinto ezikukhumbuza ngequbuliso ngomntu okanye into oyilahlekileyo. Ingoma oyivayo xa uhamba, ivumba elithile, ubona indawo ethile, okanye usuku olukhethekileyo njengosuku lokuzalwa okanye isikhumbuzo zinokunyusa ngequbuliso usizi lwakho. Ezi zibizwa ngokuba yi-'Grief Triggers'. Kuqhelekile ukuba ezi zinto zenzeke rhoqo kwizigaba zokuqala.
Ungaphila njani ngempumelelo nale ntlungu?
Intlungu ayisosifo esifuna ukunyangwa, yinkqubo ekufuneka ilawulwe. Kukho izinto ezininzi ezinokunceda koku.
- Zinike ixesha: Le yinkqubo. Awunakuphila ngobusuku obunye. Yamkela iimvakalelo zakho. Ukuba ufuna ukulila, khala. Akukho nto imbi ngaloo nto.
- Thetha nabanye: Musa ukuzenza ikheswa. Ukuthetha nomhlobo okanye ilungu losapho oluthembekileyo ngeemvakalelo zakho kunokuba luncedo kakhulu.
- Zikhathalele: Zilolonge kangangoko unako, yitya ukutya okunesondlo, kwaye ulale ngokwaneleyo. Ezi zinto ziya kuqinisa umzimba wakho kunye nengqondo yakho.
- Ziphephe utywala neziyobisi: Musa ukuzisebenzisa ezi zinto ukuze ulibale iintlungu zakho. Nangona zinokukunika isiqabu sexeshana, ziya kuzenza zibe mandundu iingxaki zakho.
- Buyela kwizinto ozithandayo: Kancinci kancinci qala ukwenza izinto obukade uzonwabela kwakhona.
- Fumana iNgcebiso ngeNgxaki yokuHlupheka: Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukumelana nale ntlungu wedwa. Ngamaxesha anjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna uncedo kumcebisi wezempilo yengqondo. Baza kukufundisa indlela yokujongana nale mvakalelo.
Okubaluleke kakhulu: Ukuba intlungu yakho ichaphazela ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla kangangokuba awukwazi ukusebenza, kwaye ayiphucukanga emva kweenyanga ezi-6, nceda ubone ugqirha wakho. Angakunika ulwalathiso olufunayo.
Singamnceda njani umntu okwintlungu yokufelwa?
Ukuba umhlobo okanye isalamane sakho sidlula kolu hlobo losizi, ungasinceda.
- Yiba nabo: Buza, "Nifuna ndikwenzele ntoni?" Bona ukuba bafuna ukuthetha, okanye bafuna nje ukuba nawe.
- Nceda ngemisebenzi yasekhaya: Nokuba uncedo oluncinci, njengokuya evenkileni uze uphathele umntu into okanye ulungiselele ukutya, lunokwenza umahluko omkhulu ngelo xesha.
- Yiba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo: Endaweni yokubanika icebiso, phulaphula oko bakuthethayo.
- Musa ukuthetha izinto ezinje, “Yintoni leyo, izinto ezimbi kakhulu ziyenzeka ebantwini,” okanye “Libala ngayo ngoku.” Oko kuyayithoba imbandezelo yabo.
- Kuphephe ukuthetha izinto ezinje, "Bekukuhle ukuba kwenzeke into ethile," okanye "Ukwindawo engcono ngoku." Oku kuya kubathintela ekuvezeni iimvakalelo zabo zokwenyani.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Usizi luyindlela yendalo yokusabela xa ulahlekelwe. Asikuko ukugula.
- Wonke umntu uziva ngendlela eyahlukileyo intlungu. Akukho ndlela ilungileyo nengalunganga yokwenza loo nto.
- Usizi lunokubangela iimpawu zomzimba nezengqondo.
- Ukucela uncedo lokuphumelela kweli xesha linzima akubobuthathaka, koko ngamandla.
- Ukuba intlungu yakho ayipheli ngokuhamba kwexesha kwaye ichaphazela ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, ungathandabuzi ukubona ugqirha okanye umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo .
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