Ngaba ukhathazekile ngomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo? Masithethe ngokuzibulala komntwana okwishumi elivisayo.

Ndiyazi ukuba le yingongoma enzima kakhulu neyinobuzaza ukuthetha ngayo. Kodwa, akungcono na ukuba singathethi ngento efana nale enxulumene nobomi babantwana bethu abancinci? Ukuzibulala kuxa umntu ezibulala. Uninzi lwexesha, kubangelwa kukuphelelwa lithemba okukhulu, ukukhungatheka, okanye ukungakwazi ukufumana isisombululo kwingxaki engasombululekiyo. Ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana omncinci ngale ndlela yintlungu enganyamezelekiyo kusapho, kubahlobo, nakuluntu lonke.

Kutheni abantwana bethu abancinci betsaleleka kwizinto ezinjalo?

Enyanisweni, izizathu zokuba umntu oselula azibulale zinzima kakhulu. Kunzima ukusho isizathu esinye kuphela. Eli lixesha lokudideka okukhulu, apho iimvakalelo zidla ngokuba nzima khona. Kulapho ke ukuzibulala kunye nokuzama ukuzibulala kuxhaphake kakhulu.

Ngokweengxelo ezivela kwi-World Health Organisation (WHO) kunye neminye imibutho, ukuzibulala sesona sizathu sesibini sokufa phakathi kwabantwana abaneminyaka eli-10-14 kunye nesizathu sesithathu sokufa phakathi kwabantu abaselula abaneminyaka eli-15-24 (emva kweengozi nokubulawa kwabantu). Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukuzama ukuzibulala kuqheleke kakhulu kunokuzibulala ngokoqobo.

Iingozi ezinokubakho kwizinto zasekhaya

Le yingongoma ebaluleke kakhulu. Ingakumbi ukuba kukho izinto ezifana nezibhamu endlwini, umngcipheko wokuzibulala uphezulu kakhulu. Kumazwe afana neMelika, kuthiwa ama-60% okuzibulala abangelwa zizibhamu. Ke ngoko, ukuba unento enjalo endlwini yakho, ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka uyigcine kude nabantwana, uyisuse imipu, kwaye uyivalele kakuhle.

Ngokufanayo, ukugqithisela amayeza kakhulu yimbangela eqhelekileyo yokuzibulala kunye nokuzama ukuzibulala. Lumka ngamayeza athengiswa ngaphandle kwemvume kagqirha kunye namayeza abhalwe ngugqirha. Abanye abantu abaselula babelana ngamayeza nabahlobo babo esikolweni, okanye bawagcine kwiingxowa zabo okanye kwiilokhari. Yingakho kubalulekile ukujonga ngokusondeleyo onke amayeza ekhaya.

Ingaba kukho umahluko phakathi kwamantombazana namakhwenkwe?

Xa kufikwa ekuzibulaleni, kukho umahluko phakathi kwamantombazana namakhwenkwe. Amantombazana anamathuba aphindwe kabini kunamakhwenkwe okucinga nokuzama ukuzibulala. Adla ngokuzama oku ngokuthatha amayeza amaninzi okanye ngokuzisika.

Nangona kunjalo, abafana banamathuba aphindwe kane okuzibulala kunamantombazana. Iingcali zikholelwa ukuba oku kungenxa yokuba abafana basebenzisa iindlela ezibulalayo ngakumbi.

Ngabaphi abantwana abancinci abasengozini enkulu?

Sonke siye sadlula ebutsheni bethu. Nangona yayintle, sikhumbula ukuba yayilixesha elididayo nelididayo phakathi kobuntwana nobudala. Kwelinye icala, kukho ulindelo olukhulu, kwaye kwelinye icala, kukho uxinzelelo olukhulu kunye noxanduva. Kukho uxinzelelo lokwamkeleka kubahlobo, ukuqhuba kakuhle esikolweni, nokuba noxanduva.

Ngokufanayo, ngeli xesha, abantwana baqala ukucinga ngezinto ezifana nobuntu babo kunye nobudlelwane. Baziva befuna inkululeko kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bayangqubana nemithetho yabazali babo.

Abantwana abancinci, ingakumbi abo baneengxaki zempilo yengqondo , banamathuba amaninzi okuba neengcinga zokuzibulala .

Umzekelo:

• Ixhala
• Uxinzelelo
• Ukuxhuzula
• Ukungalali

Kwakhona, abantwana abajongene notshintsho olukhulu ebomini (uqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali, ukufudukela kwindawo entsha, umzali oshiya ikhaya ngenxa yenkonzo yasemkhosini, iingxaki zemali zentsapho) kunye nabantwana abaxhatshazwayo, abacalucalulwa ngokobuhlanga, okanye ababekwa ibala ngenye indlela basengozini enkulu.

Khawucinge nje, ngamanye amaxesha into ebonakala ngathi yinto encinci kuthi inokuba yingxaki enkulu kumntwana omncinci.

Nazi ezinye izinto ezibangela umngcipheko :

• Izifo zengqondo, ingakumbi ukudakumba, isifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuba yi-bipolar disorder, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi notywala (enyanisweni, ama-95% abantu abafa ngokuzibulala banesifo sengqondo ngelo xesha).
• Iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo olukhulu, ukucaphuka, kunye nokungazinzi.
• Ukuphelelwa lithemba kunye neemvakalelo zokungabi nto eza noxinzelelo.
• Ndikhe ndazama ukuzibulala ngaphambili.
• Ukuba nembali yosapho lwakho yokudandatheka okanye ukuzibulala.
• Ukuxhatshazwa ngengqondo, ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo.
• Ukungabikho kweqela elixhasanayo, ukungabikho kolwalamano oluhle nabazali okanye abahlobo, ukuziva ulahliwe kuluntu.
• Ukungaxhaswa lusapho okanye luluntu xa bekwimeko yokubuza ubuwena babo ngokwesini kunye/okanye isini. (Lo ngumba onzima kakhulu, abo bantwana badinga uthando nokuqonda okuninzi).

Ziziphi iimpawu ezinokusinceda siqaphele oku kwangethuba?

Amaxesha amaninzi, abantwana abancinci abazibulalayo baye banike abantu ababathandayo isilumkiso okanye banike iingcebiso ngaloo nto kwangethuba. Ngoko ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abazali baziqaphele ezi mpawu zezilumkiso. Kulapho kuphela apho banokunika uncedo olufunekayo kwabo bantwana ngokukhawuleza.

Ezi mpawu zihlala zibonakala emva kwesiganeko esixinezelayo, njengengxaki esikolweni, ukwahlukana nesoka/intombi, ukusweleka komntu omthandayo, uqhawulo-mtshato, okanye ingxabano enkulu yosapho.

Umntwana omncinci ocinga ngokuzibulala angenza izinto ezinje:

• Kukho intetho rhoqo yokuzibulala okanye ukufa.
• Iingcebiso ezinje ngokuthi "Andisayi kuphinda ndibe lapha."
• Ukuthetha ngokuphoxeka okanye ukuziva unetyala.
• Ukuba kude nabahlobo okanye usapho.
• Babhala iingoma, imibongo, neeleta malunga nokufa, ukwahlukana, kunye nokulahlekelwa.
• Ngequbuliso baqala ukunika abantwana babo abancinci kunye nabahlobo izinto ezixabisekileyo ababezixabisa kakhulu (umz. iincwadi, amathoyizi, iimpahla).
• Uphelelwa ngumdla kwizinto obukade uzonwabela.
• Kuba nzima ukugxila nokucinga ngokucacileyo.
• Kukho utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokutya okanye yokulala (ngokungalindelekanga nditya kakhulu/ndingatyi, ndilala kakhulu/ndingalali konke konke).
• Uthatha inxaxheba kwimisebenzi enobungozi (umz., ukuqhuba ngesantya esiphezulu, ukusebenzisa iziyobisi).
• Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kumsebenzi wesikolo nemidlalo.

Singenza ntoni njengabazali?

Njengoko besitshilo ngaphambili, ulutsha oluninzi lunika iimpawu zokulumkisa ngaphambi kokuba luzame ukuzibulala. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi mpawu. Nangona kungekuko konke ukuzibulala okunokuthintelwa, ukuqaphela nokuthatha amanyathelo okunceda umntu oselula osweleyo kunokwenza umahluko omkhulu.

Abanye abantu abadala bacinga ukuba, "Aba bantwana benza oku ukuze bafumane ingqalelo." Kodwa ukuba asikunaki kuba sicinga ukuba kufuna ingqalelo, oku kwenza umntwana abe sengozini yokuzenzakalisa. Ukuya kwigumbi longxamiseko, ukubona ugqirha, okanye ukuya kwiziko lonyango lokuhlala asizozinto abantwana abancinci abadla ngokufuna ukuzenza - ngaphandle kokuba badandathekile ngokwenene, becinga ngokuzibulala, okanye ubuncinane benqwenela ukuba bafe. Ngoko ke, musa ukuzithatha ezi mpawu zesilumkiso njenge "zokufuna ingqalelo," kufuneka zithathwe nzulu kakhulu.

Jonga ngononophelo, mamela ngononophelo.

Mqaphele umntwana omncinci oxinezelekileyo nozithuleleyo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukudakumba kubantwana abancinci, njengoko kunokwahluka kwiimpawu esizicinga ngokuba kukudandatheka. Umzekelo, endaweni yokuba lusizi ngalo lonke ixesha, ukhale, kunokubonakala kwizinto ezifana nokuba neengxaki nabahlobo, amanqaku aphantsi, iingxaki zokulala, ukuba nomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha, nokuba ndlongondlongo.

Gcina imizila yonxibelelwano ivulekile kangangoko unako. Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyamkhathalela, uyamxhasa kwaye uyamthanda. Ukuba umntwana wakho ukuxelela into esengqondweni yakhe, mbonise ukuba uyithatha nzulu. Cinga ngayo, ukulwa nomhlobo wakho kusenokungabi yinto enkulu kuwe, kodwa kunokuba nzima kakhulu kwaye kumkhathaze umntwana omncinci. Musa ukuyinciphisa okanye ungayinaki into umntwana wakho ajongene nayo. Oko kunokwenza ukuba ukukhungatheka kwakhe kube kubi ngakumbi.

Ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki yokuthetha nawe, cebisa ukuba uthethe nomnye umntu. Umzekelo, esinye isizalwana, umfundisi, umqeqeshi, umcebisi wesikolo, okanye ugqirha womntwana wakho.

Musa ukoyika ukubuza imibuzo.

Abanye abazali bayoyika ukubuza abantwana babo ukuba ngaba bakhe bacinga ngokuzibulala okanye ngokuzilimaza. Abanye bacinga ukuba ukubabuza kuya kufaka loo ngcinga engqondweni yomntwana wabo.

Kodwa, kulungile ukubuza, nokuba kunzima. Ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba luncedo ukuchaza isizathu sokuba ubuze. Umzekelo, ungathi: "Nyana/ntombi, ndiqaphele ukuba ubuthetha ngokufuna ukufa. Ngaba ngokwenene uneengcinga zokuzibulala?"

Sifumana njani uncedo?

Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho ucinga ngokuzibulala, fumana uncedo ngoko nangoko. Ugqirha wakho wosapho angakuthumela kwingcali yezengqondo okanye kwingcali yezengqondo. Okanye, ungafumana uluhlu loogqirha abakwindawo okuyo kwisebe lezengqondo lesibhedlele sakho sasekuhlaleni. Ungafumana olu lwazi nakwintlangano yakho yezempilo yengqondo yasekuhlaleni okanye kwimibutho yezonyango yesithili.

Kwimeko yongxamiseko, ungafowuna okanye uthumele umyalezo obhaliweyo kwezi nombolo zefowuni zamazwe ngamazwe:

• 988 Umnxeba Wokuzibulala Nokuxakeka: Ungafowunela okanye uthumele umyalezo ku-988. Ungaqhagamshelana nabo kwiwebhusayithi yabo.
• UTrevor Lifeline kuluntu lwe-LGBTQ: Fowunela ku-1-866-488-7386 okanye uthumele umyalezo othi START ku-678678. Ungaqhagamshelana nabo kwiwebhusayithi yabo.

Ezi ziinkonzo zasimahla kunye neengcali eziqeqeshiweyo. Iincoko zakho ziya kugcinwa ziyimfihlo. Ezi ziinkonzo zamazwe ngamazwe. Ungafumana uncedo ngazo, okanye ujonge ukuba kukho inkonzo efanayo na eSri Lanka. Nangona kunjalo, xa kukho imeko engxamisekileyo, fowunela iNkonzo yeeAmbulensi yaseSuwaseriya ka-1990 ngoko nangoko, okanye uye kwisibhedlele esikufutshane.

Ukuba umntwana wakho usengxakini, igumbi lakho lengxakeko elikufutshane lingenza uvavanyo lwengqondo kwaye likuthumele kwizixhobo ezifunekayo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba umse umntwana wakho kwigumbi lengxakeko, wakhoThetha nogqirha.

Ukuba wenze idinga lokubonana nomcebisi wezempilo yengqondo , qiniseka ukuba uyaya kwidinga, nokuba umntwana wakho uthi, "Ndiphilile ngoku," okanye "Andiyi." Iingcinga zokuzibulala zinokufika zihambe. Nangona kunjalo, umntwana wakho udinga uncedo lokuphuhlisa izakhono zokulawula ezi ngcinga kunye nokuziphatha ngexesha lengxaki.

Ukuba umntwana wakho akafuni ukuya kwintlanganiso, xelela ingcali yezempilo yengqondo. Ngokuya kwiseshoni wedwa okanye ngokusebenzisana nengcali, ungamgcina umntwana wakho evulelekile ukuze afumane uncedo aludingayo. Ingcali iya kukufundisa neendlela zokwenza umntwana wakho afune ukufumana uncedo.

Khumbula, ingxabano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana inokwenza izinto zibe mbi nangakumbi kumntwana omncinci oziva eyedwa, engaqondwa kakuhle, okanye engaxatyiswanga, kwaye anokuba neengcinga zokuzibulala. Fumana uncedo kwiingxaki zosapho kwaye uzilungise ngendlela ephilileyo. Ukuba kukho nabani na kusapho lwakho onembali yokudakumba, ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi, okanye ubundlobongela basekhaya, xelela ingcali yakho yezempilo yengqondo. Thetha nangezinye iimeko ezixinzelelekileyo ekhaya (umz., indawo ehlala inzima).

Ukuba umntwana usweleke ngokuzibulala...

Kubazali, ukufa komntwana yintlungu engenakucingelwa. Kubazali abalahlekelwe ngumntwana ngokuzibulala, intlungu nosizi lunokuba nzulu nangakumbi. Ezi mvakalelo zisenokungaze ziphele ngokupheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, abo baye bajongana namava anjalo banokuthatha la manyathelo ukuqala uhambo lokuphiliswa:

• Hlala unxibelelene nabanye abantu. Emva kokuzibulala, amalungu osapho anokuziva eyedwa, engaqinisekanga ukuba makathini kubahlobo okanye ukuba angamnceda njani. Ungathetha ngomntwana wakho, iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye ufumane abantu abaza kukuxhasa. Ukuba abantu abakungqongileyo babonakala bengathandi ukuthetha nawe, qala incoko ngokwakho uze ubacele uncedo.
• Khumbula ukuba amanye amalungu osapho ayalila kwaye wonke umntu ulila ngokwahlukileyo. Abanye abantwana bakho, ngakumbi, banokuzama ukumelana nentlungu yabo bodwa, benethemba lokuba abayi kuba ngumthwalo kuwe. Xhasanani ngelixa kukho iinyembezi, umsindo, kunye nokuthula. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, fumanani uncedo kunye nenkxaso kunye.
• Lindela ukuba izikhumbuzo, imihla yokuzalwa, kunye neeholide zibe nzima. Iintsuku ezibalulekileyo kunye neeholide zinokubuyisa iimvakalelo zokulahlekelwa kunye nokuxhalaba. Ngaloo mihla, yenza oko kulungele iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo - nokuba kukuchitha ixesha nosapho kunye nabahlobo, okanye ukuchitha usuku ucamngca ngokuthula.
• Qonda ukuba kuqhelekile ukuziva unetyala uze ubuze, "Kwenzeke njani oku?" Kodwa kubalulekile nokuqonda ukuba usenokungafumani zimpendulo uzifunayo. Ukuphiliswa ngokuhamba kwexesha kuza xa ufika kwindawo yokuxolela umntwana wakho nawe.
• Amaqela eengcebiso kunye nenkxaso angaba yindlela entle yokukunceda uqonde ukuba awuwedwa. Ngamanye amaxesha, iintsapho ezilahlekelwe ngabantwana ngale ndlela ziba yinxalenye yenethiwekhi yokuthintela ukuzibulala enceda abazali, ulutsha kunye nezikolo ukuthintela iintlekele ezinjalo kwixesha elizayo.

Ungamnceda njani umntwana omncinci ojongene nokuzibulala komhlobo wakhe?

Wenza ntoni ukuba umntu umntwana wakho amaziyo uye wazama ukuzibulala okanye wafa ngokuzibulala? Okokuqala, qaphela iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho. Abanye abantwana abancinci bathi baziva benetyala—ingakumbi abo bavakalelwa kukuba bekufanele ukuba baziqonde ngcono izenzo namazwi omhlobo wabo.

Abanye bathi banomsindo ngomntu ozame/ozibulele ngokwenza into yokuzingca. Abanye bathi abaziva kangako okanye abazi ukuba bangaziveza njani iimvakalelo zabo. Qinisekisa umntwana wakho ukuba akukho mvakalelo ilungileyo okanye engalunganga, kwaye kulungile ukuthetha ngayo xa sele ekulungele.

Xa umntu ezama ukuzibulala aze asinde, abantu banokoyika kwaye bangakhululeki ukuthetha ngaloo nto. Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba angabi kude naye ngexesha elinje - kulapho kufuneka umntu aqhagamshelane nabanye abantu.

Izikolo ezininzi, emva kokuba umfundi ezibulele, zizisa abacebisi abakhethekileyo ukuze bathethe nabafundi baze babancede bakwazi ukumelana nazo. Ukuba umntwana wakho ujongene nokuzibulala komhlobo okanye umfundi afunda naye, sebenzisa ezi zixhobo, okanye umkhuthaze ukuba athethe nawe okanye nomnye umntu omdala omthembileyo.

Okokugqibela, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule...

Ukuzibulala yingxaki enzima, kodwa idla ngokuthintelwa. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nolutsha lwethu, ukubanika uthando nenkxaso, nokumamela oko bakuthethayo.

Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki, ungaze ungathandabuzi ukufuna uncedo lweengcali. Ayilophawu lobuthathaka, luphawu lwamandla. Awuwedwa kolu hambo. Ukucela uncedo, ukunika uncedo, zezona zinto sinokukwenza ukukhusela abantwana bethu.

Ukuzibulala , abantwana abancinci, impilo yengqondo, ukudakumba, izinto ezinobungozi, inkxaso yabazali, iingcebiso