Khawucinge ukuba uzama ukuyeka ukutshaya, okanye uzama ukunciphisa umzimba uze uqale ukuzilolonga . Ufuna ngokwenene ukukwenza oko. Kodwa emva koko wenza impazamo encinci uze uthi, "Owu, andinakukwenza oku..."? Ngelo xesha, indlela othetha ngayo nawe ingatshintsha lonke uhambo lwakho. Ingakushukumisa okanye ikutyhafise ngokupheleleyo.
Wena, amandla endlela othetha ngayo nawe.
Masithethe kancinci ngophando olwenziweyo ngale nto. Iqela labadlali be-water polo banikwe isakhono esitsha sokuziqhelanisa. Elinye iqela laxelelwa ukuba lithethe izinto ezakhayo kulo ngelixa lisenza. Oko kuthetha izinto ezinje, "Ndingakwenza oku," kunye "Ndilungile." Elinye iqela laliziqhelanisa ngokwesiqhelo ngaphandle kokuthetha nto.
Iziphumo bezimangalisa. Abadlali abondla ubuchopho babo iingcinga ezintle baphucuke kakhulu kunabanye. Babenengcinga ezimbalwa ezingafunekiyo ezingqondweni zabo. Oku kwabavumela ukuba bagxile ngokupheleleyo koko babekufunda.
Ngoko ke xa uzifumana uneengcinga ezimbi nezingalunganga, ungayibuyisela njani ingqondo yakho kwicala elihle nelilungileyo? Makhe sijonge ezinye iindlela zokukunceda wenze loo nto.
Ngaba uthetha wedwa njengomhlobo?
Khawucinge ngomhlobo wakho osenyongweni, masithi igama lakhe ngu-'Kasun', ecaphukile kakhulu kukuba kukho into engahambanga kakuhle. Uyamthethisa? Ngaba uyamlimaza nangakumbi ngokuthi, "Awunakukwenza loo nto kakuhle"? Hayi, akunjalo? Okwenzayo kukumenza aqiniseke ngokuthi, "Kulungile, mfo, kunjalo. Masiphinde sizame," akunjalo?
Kodwa xa sithetha sodwa, sidla ngokwenza okwahlukileyo koko. Xa into encinci ingahambi kakuhle, siyazigxeka. Sicinga izinto ezinje, "Andinakuze ndikwenze oku," "Ndilivila kakhulu." Ukuba ilizwi elingaphakathi entlokweni yakho lifana nomntu ongafuniyo ukuba naye, lixesha lokutshintsha elo lizwi.
Ngexesha elizayo xa uzisola, cinga ngale nto: "Ukuba umhlobo wam osenyongweni ebekunye nam ngoku, zeziphi izinto endinokuzithetha kuye?" Ngendlela efanayo, thetha nawe ngobunono nangobubele, njengokuba ubuya kwenza kumntu omthandayo .
Ukuba icebiso olinika wena alilunganga ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungalinika umhlobo wakho osenyongweni, elo cebiso alilunganga nakuwe.
Bhala phantsi impumelelo yakho! Loo nto inamandla amakhulu.
Xa siziva sidakumbile, kulula ukulibala zonke izinto ezilungileyo esizisebenzele nzima ukuze sizifezekise. Khawuthelekelele uzama ukunciphisa umzimba. Ukuba ufumana ubunzima obuncinci ngenye imini, unokucinga, "Owu, yonke into endiyisebenzele nzima ixesha elide ichithekile."
Kodwa ukuba ubhala phantsi impumelelo yakho, oko kukuthi, inkqubela oyenzileyo, ndaweni ithile, unobungqina obubonakalayo bemizamo yakho.
Kulungile ukugcina umkhondo wobunzima bakho, kodwa kusenokunganeli, ingakumbi ukuba unesisindo esininzi ekufuneka usilahle.
Ngoko ke, ziqhelise ukubhala phantsi ezinye izinto ezimbalwa. Umzekelo:
- Uzilolonga ixesha elingakanani ngosuku?
- Awuzange utye isidlo sakusasa ?
- Ngaba uye waya ejimini?
- Inani lamaxesha okhethe ukutya isiqhamo endaweni yokutya ibhisikithi.
Xa ubhala phantsi ezo zinto zincinci, xa ingcinga embi ifika engqondweni yakho uze uzame ukuzitshabalalisa, ungayithatha loo ncwadi uyijonge. Emva koko uza kubona, "Zingaphi izinto ezilungileyo endizenzileyo?" Ungavuya ngazo zonke.
'Iimpazamo' 'ziimpendulo' nje zokufunda!
Mhlawumbi ukhe weva intetho ethi, "Akukho kusilela, yimpendulo kuphela." Oko kuthetha ukuba xa into ingahambi ngendlela oyifunayo, endaweni yokucinga ngayo, yijonge ngendlela echanekileyo nangaphandle kwemvakalelo.
Makhe sijonge umzekelo: Unyuke malunga nekhilogram enye ubunzima.
- Impendulo yokungaphumeleli: "Owu Thixo wam, le veki yintlekele. Andisoze ndibe mncinci."
- Impendulo Eyakhayo: "Hmm... Ndityebile kancinci. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba isosi yesoya endandiyitye ngesidlo sangokuhlwa izolo yayinetyuwa eninzi. Kuya kufuneka ndiyiphephe loo nto kwiveki ezayo."
Uyawuqonda umahluko? Eyokuqala iyakutyhafisa. Eyesibini ikwenza ufunde kwimpazamo yakho.
Ukuze siqonde ngcono le ngcamango, makhe sijonge iindlela ezimbini zokucinga ezivezwe yingcali yezengqondo uCarol S. Dweck.
| Ingqondo | Inkolelo |
|---|---|
| Ingqondo Ezinzileyo | Inkolelo yokuba iimpawu zomntu, izakhono zakhe, okanye iziphiwo zakhe azinakutshintshwa. Umzekelo: "Ndilivila ngokwemvelo, kwaye andinakukutshintsha oko." |
| Ingqondo Yokukhula | Inkolelo yokuba ndingazama ukuphucula. Umzekelo: "Nangona ndilivila kancinci, ndingakwazi ukusebenza ukuba ndiyazama." |
Ingcinga yesibini isoloko idala ithemba. Xa ususa ingcamango 'yeempazamo' kwinjongo yakho, okuseleyo kukuphumelela nokufunda .
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Xa uthetha nawe, thetha ngobubele nangobulali, njengokuba ubuya kwenza kumhlobo wakho osenyongweni.
- Bhala phantsi kungekuphela nje iinjongo ezinkulu, kodwa kwanoloyiso oluncinci olufikelela yonke imihla (umz. ukutya iqhekeza lesiqhamo) uze wonwabe ngazo.
- Ukuba kukho into engahambanga kakuhle, musa ukuyibona njengempazamo, kodwa yibone njengempendulo onokufunda kuyo kwixesha elizayo.
- Soloko 'ucinga ngokukhula'. Oko kukuthi, kholelwa ukuba nantoni na ingaphuculwa ngomzamo.
- Ukuba iingcinga ezimbi ziyakuphazamisa ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, ungaze ungathandabuzi ukuthetha nogqirha wakho ngaloo nto.
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