Ngaba ubona yonke into ngendlela enethemba? Okanye ngendlela engalindelekanga? Masithethe ngale nto (ithemba)!

Unjani namhlanje? Ziphe ixesha lokuyeka ukufunda eli nqaku uze ucinge ngezinye zezinto ezenzekileyo kuwe namhlanje. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, thatha ipeni nephepha uze ubhale phantsi iziganeko ezimbalwa ezikhethekileyo ozikhumbulayo. Masibone ukuba ubhala ntoni.

Ngoko ke, ubucinga ntoni? Ngaba usuku lwakho beluzele zizinto ezintle kakhulu? Into efana nokuthi, “Namhlanje ibilusuku oluhle! Umakhulu upheke isidlo sakusasa. Bendinabahlobo bam esikolweni, kwaye ixesha lesiNgesi lanamhlanje belibi kakhulu!” Okanye ngaba ingqondo yakho ibizulazula kwiindawo ezingafanelekanga? Into efana nokuthi, “Umakhulu upheke isidlo sakusasa kwaye bendifike emva kwexesha, kwaye ndiphoswe yibhasi. Abahlobo bam bachithe ixesha lesidlo sasemini befunda ngolu hlelo lweTV ludinayo. Namhlanje ibilusuku lwesiNgesi! Andizithandi kwaphela iiLwesine!”? Kukho ingqiqo enkulu ekucingeni ngale ndlela.

Yintoni ukuba nethemba kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba?

Ngamafutshane, ukuba nethemba kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba ziindlela ezimbini zokujonga izinto nokucinga. Iingqondo zethu ezimbini.

Umntu onethemba uhlala ebona icala elihle lezinto. Ulindele ukuba yonke into ihambe kakuhle. Ukwakholelwa ukuba unetalente kunye nokukwazi ukwenza izinto ezilungileyo zenzeke. Bahlala benemvakalelo yokuba, "Owu, ndingayilungisa le nto."

Kwelinye icala, sibabiza abantu abafumana iimpazamo kuyo yonke into, ababona yonke into ngombala omnyama nomhlophe, ngokuthi “abalithemba.” Umntu olithemba uhlala ecinga ukuba izinto ziza kuhamba gwenxa, okanye ukuba uhlala ecinga ngezinto ezingahambanga kakuhle. Basenokuhlala benengcinga ethi, “Oku akuyi kulunga.”

Kodwa nantsi into. Akukho namnye kuthi ohlala enethemba okanye ohlala enethemba. Nangona kunjalo, sonke sithambekele ekuthandeni ngakumbi kwenye yezi ndlela zimbini zokucinga. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba nokuba ungumntu othanda izinto ezimbi, akufuneki ube njalo ngalo lonke ixesha! Sonke singayitshintsha indlela esijonga ngayo izinto kancinci size sibe nethemba ngakumbi. Yinto esinokuyifunda.

Kutheni ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo kulungile kuwe?

Abaphandi, oko kukuthi, izazinzulu, bebefunda ngabantu abanethemba ixesha elide. Bathi ukuba nesimo sengqondo esihle kusinceda sonwabe , siphumelele ebomini, kwaye sibe sempilweni.

Cinga nje, ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo kukunika ezi zibonelelo:

• Impilo yengqondo : Ukuba nethemba kukudandatheka , oko kukuthi, ``( ukudakumbaKufana nesihlangu esinokukukhusela kwiimeko ezifana ``(Depression)``. Mhlawumbi usengozini yokuba ``(Depression)``, kodwa ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo kunokunceda ekuthinteleni oko.
• Ukumelana noXinzelelo: Xa unembono entle, ufumana amandla amaninzi okumelana noxinzelelo lobomi, oko kukuthi, "Uxinzelelo." Xa kuvela ingxaki, awuphakuzeli, kodwa uyijonga ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
• Ubomi Obude: Musa ukumangaliswa, kufunyenwe ukuba ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo kunokunceda abantu baphile ixesha elide kwaye kubancede baphile ixesha elide. Oko kuthetha ukuba kubalulekile ekuphileni ubomi obusempilweni nobonwabisayo.
• Ukufunda ukuba nesimo sengqondo esihle: Eyona nto ingcono kuyo yonke le nto kukuba ungafunda ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo, nokuba indlela ocinga ngayo ithambekele kwizinto ezimbi. Yinto enokuqeqeshwa.

"Ukuba nethemba akuyondlela yokucinga nje kuphela, kodwa sisitshixo sobomi obusempilweni."

Abantu abanethemba kunye nabantu abacinga ukuba izinto azihambi kakuhle bazijonga njani iziganeko?

Ukuba nethemba akuthethi nje ukubona icala elihle lezinto, okanye ukulindela izinto ezilungileyo. Yindlela yokucinga, yokutolika, into esele yenzekile.

Cinga ngale ndlela. Xa into elungileyo isenzeka , abantu abanethemba bacinga ngento abayenzileyo ukuze ibe ntle kangaka. Babona izakhono zabo njengezinto ezihlala zihleli, ezizinzileyo. Bakwacinga nangendlela ezi zinto zilungileyo ezivula ngayo indlela yezinto ezilungileyo. Umzekelo, ukuba baphumelele kakuhle kuvavanyo, umntu onethemba unokucinga, “Ndiphumelele kuba ndifunde nzima. Ndingazenza ezi zinto. Oku kuya kundinceda ndifumane umsebenzi ongcono.”

Kodwa, xa izinto zingahambi njengoko bekucwangcisiwe , kukho elinye icala. Abantu abanethemba abazigxeki. Babona ukusilela njengento yexeshana . Xa kwenzeka impazamo, abantu abanethemba bayibeka kwimeko ethile okanye kwisiganeko esithile, kungekhona kwizakhono zabo. Ngenxa yokuba bengaboni ukusilela njengeentsilelo zobuqu, abantu abanethemba bayakwazi ukubuya emva kokuphoxeka kunabo banethemba.

Nantsi umzekelo omncinci. Bobabini uNimala noSupunu baya kwiinzame zokungena kwiqela lebhola yomnyazi yesikolo. Akukho namnye kubo onokungena kwiqela. Bobabini balusizi, kodwa bajongana nalo ngendlela eyahlukileyo.

UNimal unethemba. Ucinga oku: “Bekukho abadlali abaninzi abanetalente kwizilingo, kwaye bekukho iindawo ezimbalwa kwiqela. Ngoko ke ndizilolonge kangangoko ndinako, kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndidlale kakuhle! Umqeqeshi undinike ingxelo entle. Ndiza kusebenza koko akuthethileyo kwaye ndibukele yonke imidlalo kule sizini. Emva koko ndiza kuba nethuba elingcono kunyaka ozayo.”

Uyabona? UNimal ugxila kwimeko ethile, kungekhona kwiziphene zomntu. Akayiboni le meko njengehlala ihleli. Ulindele ngokupheleleyo ukuba akwazi ukungena kwiqela kunyaka ozayo, kwaye sele ecinga ngento ekufuneka ayenze ukuze aphumelele.

USupun ubonakala ephelelwe lithemba kancinci. Ucinga oku: “Akumangalisi ukuba ndingaqondwa kakuhle – bendingumntu obuthathaka kakhulu kwiimvavanyo, kwaye umqeqeshi akabonakali endithanda kangako. Akukho nto iya kundihambela kakuhle. Ndimele ndivume, andingomdlali olungileyo kangako.” Ngokungafaniyo noNimal, uSupun uthatha le ngxaki ngokwakhe. Uzigxeka, kwaye ucinga ukuba izinto zangaphandle (abaqeqeshi, ubomi) ziyasebenza kuye. Okubi nangakumbi, esi siganeko sinye simenze wathandabuza izakhono zakhe kwezemidlalo.

Khawucinge ngoku, ngowuphi kwaba babini onokuthi akhathazeke ixesha elide? Ngowuphi onokuthi aqhelise ngakumbi aze azame kwakhona? Ngowuphi onokuthi ayeke? Impendulo icacile, akunjalo?

Ingcinga eyakhayo ikwakha njani ukuqina kwakho?

Ukucinga ngendlela eyakhayo kusenza sibone iziganeko ezidanisayo njengezexeshana , oko kuthetha ukuba singaphila kuzo. Kusiqinisa ukuba sizame kwakhona endaweni yokunikezela. Kusivumela ukuba sigcine iinjongo namaphupha ethu engqondweni, kwaye sisebenze nzima ukuwafezekisa. Ngenxa yoko, abantu abanethemba baziva belawula ngakumbi iimeko zabo, kwaye banokuzithemba okuphezulu. Banokuzithemba okuhle nokuzixabisa .

Kwelinye icala, ukucinga ngokuphelelwa lithemba kusikhokelela ekubeni sizithathele ingqalelo izinto ezidanisayo kunye nokungafunwa. Kusenza zibonakale zihleli ixesha elide kunokuba zinjalo ngokwenene. Xa sinembono yokuphelelwa lithemba, sihlala sigxila kwizinto ezimbi zemeko ethile, kwaye naziphi na izinto ezintle ziyagqunywa. Xa izinto zingahambi njengoko bekucwangcisiwe, ukucinga ngokuphelelwa lithemba kwenza kube nzima ukumelana nazo.

Ingaba oku kukubona yonke into ngendlela eqaqambileyo? (Ithemba Eliqinisekileyo)

Hayi, akunjalo. Ukuba nethemba akuthethi ukuba yonke into yintsomi, akuthethi ukuba yonke into iyinto engaqhelekanga. Abantu abanethemba abazityesheli iingxaki okanye benze ngathi yonke into ebomini igqibelele. Bagxila kwizinto ezilungileyo kwimeko ethile nakwizinto abanokuzenza ukuze benze izinto zibe ngcono.

Abantu abanethemba lokuphumelela banentembelo yokwenene . Kungenxa yokuba bakulungele. Bayazi ukuba kufuneka bafunde nzima ukuze baphumelele uviwo olunzima. Bayazi ukuba abanakungena kwiqela lebhasikithi ngaphandle kokuziqhelanisa.

Ngamafutshane, ukuba nethemba kuthetha isenzo. Kuthetha ukufumana ulungelelwano oluphilileyo phakathi kokucinga ngendlela eyakhayo neyokwenyani.

Ngaba ufuna iingcinga ezingathandekiyo?

Ukucinga ngendlela engafanelekanga kunokusitsalela phantsi – ngoko ke kulungile ukwazi ukuba indlela yokucinga engalunganga inokutshintshwa. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ucime zonke iingcinga ezimbi.

Ngamanye amaxesha, indlela yokucinga ethi “Yintoni elungileyo?” isinceda sibone ingxaki. Ukucinga ngento enokuthi ihambe kakubi kunokusinceda siphephe iingozi ezingeyomfuneko.

Cinga ngale ndlela. Umntakwenu ukuthumelela umyalezo ngelixa uqhuba. Ingqondo yakho engalunganga iyakulumkisa: “Hee, oku akulunganga!” Ngoko ke umxelela ukuba ayeke, ubuncinane ngenxa yokhuseleko lwakhe, nangenxa yakho. Kule meko, udibanisa ingcinga engalunganga (“Ukuba ndithumela umyalezo ndize ndiqhube, ndingangena engozini!”) kunye nesenzo esihle (“Ndiyazi ukuba ndingenza into ethile ukuze ndiyeke oku.”).

Sonke sidlula kumaxesha anzima ngamanye amaxesha. Kusenokuvakala ngathi akukho nto ihamba kakuhle. Xa siziva sidakumbile, kulungile ukuvuma iimvakalelo zethu nokuthetha ngento engalunganga. Ukuthetha ngezinto nomntu omthembayo kunokukunceda uzive ungcono kwaye kukukhumbuze ngamathuba akho amahle. Into ebalulekileyo kukungabambeki kwimikhwa yezinto ezingalunganga. Ukuba wenza njalo, neengcinga ezimbi zinokukunceda uqhubeke phambili.

Singaba njani nethemba elingakumbi?

Ukuba uhlala ungumntu othanda ukuphelelwa lithemba, unokuba nobuchule bokubona izinto ezintle. Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzizama:

• Xa izinto ezintle zisenzeka, ziqaphele kwaye uzixabise. Ekupheleni kosuku ngalunye, zinike imizuzu eli-10 ukucamngca ngosuku uze ufumane izinto ezimbalwa onokuzibulela. Zibhale phantsi kwijenali okanye kwi-app ekhuthazayo kwifowuni okanye kwithebhulethi yakho. Akunamsebenzi nokuba yinto encinci, njengokuthi, "Umntu undincumele namhlanje."
• Qeqesha ingqondo yakho ukuba ikholelwe ukuba ungenza izinto ezilungileyo zenzeke ebomini bakho. Ziqhelise ukuzixelela izinto ezithile onokuzenza ukuze uphumelele. Umzekelo: “Ukuba ndiyafunda, ndingafumana amanqaku amahle.” “Ukuba ndiyaqhelisela, ndiza kuphumelela kakuhle kuloo nkqubo.” “Ukuba ndiyaya kuloo nkqubo yokuzithandela, ndiza kwenza abahlobo abatsha.”
• Musa ukuzibeka ityala xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle. Lithini ilizwi elingaphakathi entlokweni yakho xa izinto zingahambi njengoko bekulindelwe? "Ndingaphumeleli kuvavanyo lwezibalo kuba andikwazi kakuhle izibalo."Endaweni yokucinga, “Ndingaphumeleli olo vavanyo kuba andizange ndifunde ngokwaneleyo. Andiyi kuphinda ndivumele oko kwenzeke kwakhona!” Endaweni yokucinga, “U-Anuradha undishiyile kuba ndingento yanto,” cinga, “Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba kutheni ukwahlukana nomntu kubuhlungu kangaka, kodwa ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bam kundenza ndizive ndingcono kwakhona.”
• Xa kwenzeka into entle, zinike udumo. Cinga ngento oyenzileyo ukuze ufumane iziphumo ezilungileyo. Ngaba uzilungiselele kakuhle iimviwo? Ngaba uziqhelise ngokuzimisela? Cinga ngamandla owasebenzisileyo nendlela akunceda ngayo ukuba uphumelele. Ungoyiki ukucinga, “Ndim owenze oku!”
• Zikhumbuze ukuba iingxaki zezokwexeshana. Kwakuba nje kukho into engahambi kakuhle, zikhumbuze ukuba iza kudlula – kwaye wenze isicwangciso sokuyenza yenzeke. Umzekelo: “Iziphumo zam ze-A-level bezingalunganga njengoko bendilindele, kodwa ndingafunda ngakumbi ndize ndiphinde ndibhale uviwo.”
• Jonga indlela abanye abathetha ngayo ngabo. Ngaba abahlobo bakho nosapho lwakho banomdla okanye bangalunganga? Umzekelo, ngaba utata wakho uthi, “Ndipheke ii-hot dog, ndingumpheki ombi!” Okanye uthi, “Ndipheke ii-hot dog kuba ndiphazanyiswe kukubukela inja isukela unomatse!”

Zama ukufaka le mikhwa ebomini bakho kancinci kancinci. Ekuqaleni kusenokuvakala kunzima, kodwa emva kwexesha elithile, uya kubona umahluko.

Ngoko ke, umyalezo wokugqibela oza kugoduka nawo:

Ngoku uyaqonda ukuba ukuba nethemba yindlela efundwayo yokucinga . Oko kuthetha ukuba ukuphelelwa lithemba yinto esinokuyiyeka !

Oku kungathatha ixesha, ngoko ke ungatyhafi. Njengoko usiya uqaphela ezi ndlela zimbini zokucinga, uya kubona kancinci kancinci iindlela zokuba nethemba. Qhubeka uzixelela oku, "Ndingaba nethemba ngakumbi, ndiza kuqhubeka ndiziqhelisela oku!"

Khumbula, inyathelo ngalinye elincinci libalulekile. Yonke imizamo oyenzayo yokutshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo ikusondeza kancinci kulonwabo, impumelelo, kunye nempilo . Ngoko ke, masiqale olu hambo luhle namhlanje! Ndikunqwenelela ithamsanqa!