Yintsimbi yesi-5:30 emva kwemini. Mhlawumbi usesendleleni ebuya emsebenzini. Intombi okanye unyana wakho okwishumi elivisayo usandula ukufika ekhaya evela esikolweni. Kodwa benza ntoni ekhaya bodwa? Ngaba bachitha ixesha nabahlobo babo kwaye benza into engafanelekanga? Ngaba unazo naziphi na ezi zinto zincinci zoloyiko okanye amathandabuzo engqondweni yakho? Ukuba uvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela, awuwedwa. Le yingxaki abazali abaninzi abajongene nayo kule mihla.
Kwintlalo yanamhlanje, bobabini abazali bayasebenza. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho umntu omnye kuphela okhathalela abantwana kusapho. Ngenxa yoko, abantwana badla ngokubuya ekhaya emva kwesikolo ngaphandle kolwalathiso lomntu omdala. Sithetha ngabantwana abancinci. Kubantwana abancinci, kukho imisebenzi emininzi yasemva kwesikolo kunye neeklasi ekufuneka bathathe inxaxheba kuzo. Kodwa kubantwana abancinci abaphakathi kweminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-18, zimbalwa kakhulu iinkqubo ezifanelekileyo nezibagcina bexakekile.
Kutheni kufuneka sicinge ngale nto kangaka?
Oku kunzulu ngakumbi kunokuba sicinga. Izifundo ezahlukeneyo zifumanise ukuba abantwana abancinci abachitha ixesha bodwa ngaphandle kokubekwa esweni ngumntu omdala basengozini enkulu yokwenza izinto ezimbi .
Cinga ngoku: Uphando olwenziwe yi-American Academy of Pediatrics lufumanise ukuba abantwana abaneminyaka esi-8 ubudala abachitha iiyure ezingaphezu kwe-10 ngeveki bodwa banamathuba angama-10% okuzama iziyobisi ezifana ne-marijuana. Banamathuba aphindwe kabini okutshaya nokusela utywala kunabantwana abasoloko bephantsi kweliso lomntu omdala.
“Ukushiya abantwana bengenabani yingxaki enkulu ebangela izinto ezifana nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi nokukhulelwa kwabakwishumi elivisayo,” utshilo uPhilip B. Cunningham, MD, uprofesa wezifo zengqondo kwiYunivesithi yezonyango yaseSouth Carolina. “Ngoko ke ukuba umntwana wakho ushiywa yedwa emva kwesikolo ude ufike ekhaya, usemngciphekweni omkhulu wokungena engxakini.”
Ngoko ke, zeziphi izisombululo esinokuzifumana kule ngxaki ngaphandle kokuyeka umsebenzi wakho uze uhlale ekhaya? Masithethe ngayo.
Asikuko oko sikwenzela abantwana bethu, koko abantwana bethu abanokusenzela kona!
Kufuneka sitshintshe indlela esicinga ngayo ngale ngxaki kancinci. Endaweni yokucinga, "Singabanyamekela njani abantwana bethu?", kungcono ukuqala ukucinga, "Bangasenzela ntoni aba bantwana, kuluntu?"
Ngamafutshane, ukuthumela abantwana kwinkonzo yoluntu sisisombululo esihle. Khawucinge nje, oku kunika ithuba elihle lokusebenzisa ixesha labo lokuphumla ngendlela eluncedo.
- Nceda ikhaya labalupheleyo elikufutshane.
- Babandakanyeke kwimisebenzi eqhelekileyo etempileni, ecaweni, okanye etempileni.
- Ukuba umntwana wakho uyazithanda izilwanyana, mkhuthaze ukuba azinikele kumbutho onceda izilwanyana.
Xa umntwana ebandakanyeka kwinto entle efana nale, amathuba okuba ahambe ngendlela engalunganga ayancipha kakhulu. Kwakhona, umntwana uqala ukuziva exabisekile kwaye enoxanduva.
Enye ingcinga entle kukudibana nabamelwane bakho nize nenze amalungiselelo amancinci. Umzekelo, ungaxelela abanye abazali, "Ndingumzali osebenzayo, kodwa ndingachitha iiyure ezintathu ngeveki ndenza into ethile nabantwana abakwindawo yethu." Ukuba unokutshintshana ngokubukela abantwana, luncedo olukhulu kuye wonke umntu.
Masichaze oku ngakumbi kwitheyibhile engezantsi.
| Ukuziphatha Okuyingozi | Enye indlela elungileyo |
|---|---|
| Ukuchitha ixesha, ukunxulumana nabahlobo abangalunganga. | Ukuzinikela kumdlalo othile, ukudlala isixhobo somculo, ubugcisa, okanye ezinye izinto ozithandayo. |
| Ukuchitha ixesha ngokungeyomfuneko kwi-intanethi okanye kwimidlalo yevidiyo. | Khuthaza inkonzo yoluntu, ukuvolontiya, okanye ukuya kwithala leencwadi. |
| Ukuhendelwa kwiziyobisi, icuba, njl.njl. | Ukuchonga italente yomntwana nokubanceda bayiphuhlise. (umz. amashishini amancinci, imisebenzi yezandla) |
| Ukuhlala ndiyedwa kwaye ndidandathekile. | Ukunceda ekwakheni ubudlelwane nomntu omdala othembekileyo (utitshala, umqeqeshi, isalamane). |
Ukubaluleka kokuthetha nomntwana wakho
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngaphezu kwayo yonke into kukugcina unxibelelwano oluhle nomntwana wakho .
"Uphi umntwana wakho? Ngoobani abahlobo bakhe? Benza ntoni?" Kusenokubonakala ngathi yinto 'embi' ukubuza ngezi zinto, kodwa luxanduva lwabazali. Yindalo yabantwana abancinci ukuzama ukutyhala loo mida. Sifanele siyiqonde loo nto size sibakhokele ngothando.
Xa uthetha nabantwana, musa ukubaphatha njengezidenge, eziyingozi, okanye ezisoloko zenza iimpazamo. Endaweni yoko, thetha ngokuzithemba ukuba "lo mntwana unokunikwa uxanduva, ukuba uyakwazi ukuqonda okulungileyo nokungalunganga." Kwakhona, ukuba uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba angenzi into ethile, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ube ngumzekelo ngokungayenzi wena.
Ezinye izinto onokuzenza:
- Yazi abahlobo bomntwana wakho: fumana ukuba bangoobani, bahlala phi, kwaye bangoobani abazali bakhe. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, thetha nabo bazali .
- Ukubeka iliso umgama: Yila inkqubo yokubeka iliso kumntwana wakho ngelixa usemsebenzini.
- Misela ixesha elithile lokubuya ekhaya.
- Bacele ukuba bakunike yonke into xa ufika ekhaya.
- Cela ummelwane othembekileyo ukuba ajonge umntwana ukuze abone ukuba ubuye na ekhaya.
Ezi zinto zingabonakala ngathi zinzima, kodwa khumbula, akukho nto ibaluleke ngaphezu kokhuseleko nekamva lomntwana wakho.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Nangona umntwana wakho esemncinci, usadinga ukujongwa ngumntu omdala kunye nesikhokelo. Musa ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo kuba "ngoku sele ekhulile."
- Musa ukuvumela ixesha lomntwana wakho lokuphumla lichithwe. Mqondise kwimisebenzi eyakhayo efana nemidlalo, izinto azithandayo, kunye nenkonzo yoluntu.
- Thetha nomntwana wakho rhoqo. Mphathe ngentlonelo, mamela imibuzo yakhe, kwaye wenze imeko-bume ekhaya apho unokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo.
- Yazi abahlobo bomntwana wakho kunye nabazali bakhe. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kukhuseleko lomntwana wakho.
- Ukuba ubona utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo (umz., umsindo ogqithisileyo, ukuba yedwa ngalo lonke ixesha, ukungawenzi umsebenzi wesikolo) ongenakukuqonda, okanye ukuba ukrokrela ukuba usebenzisa into efana neziyobisi, akukabi lixesha lokuthetha ngayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna ingcebiso kugqirha othembekileyo (ugqirha) .
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