Sonke sithi "ngiyabonga" noma "ngiyabonga" okungenani izikhathi ezimbalwa ngosuku, akunjalo? Sekuyiyingxenye yempilo yethu yansuku zonke manje. Kodwa empeleni, kunini lapho wagcina khona ukubonga ngempela ngomuntu noma into ethile empilweni yakho, futhi wama nini wacabanga ngakho? Cishe awukhumbuli lutho ngokushesha. Lokho kuvamile. Ake sixoxe ngalokhu ngokujulile namuhla.
Kusho ukuthini ngempela lokhu kubonga?
Kukhona abanye abantu abahlala becabanga ngezinto ezinhle empilweni. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, akusikho lokho okusebenzela wonke umuntu. Ngokusho kukaDkt. Courtland Dahl, umcwaningi eNyuvesi yaseWisconsin-Madison, isizathu salokhu sihlobene nebhayoloji yethu kanye nokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Uthi, "Savela ukuze sisinde, kunokuba sijabule. Ngakho-ke, ngokomlando, kusisize ukuba sisinde ngokunaka kakhulu izingozi nezinto ezimbi empilweni."
Kodwa izinsongo ezinkulu esibhekene nazo namuhla yizinkinga ezibangelwa ukucindezeleka . Njengokungalali, ukucindezeleka, izifo zesimiso sokugaya ukudla, izifo zenhliziyo nokunye okuningi. Ngakho-ke lo mkhuba wokubonga ungaba usizo olukhulu ekunqobeni lezi zinsongo.
Kalula nje, ukubonga kusho ukuqaphela izinto ezinhle ezimpilweni zethu nokuqonda ukuthi sizitholile kanjani. Lokho kusho abanye abantu, abazali, abangane, noma amandla aphezulu ngemuva kwalezo zinto ezinhle. Ukuzijwayeza lokhu kubonga kusho ukuqaphela lowo muzwa enhliziyweni yakho noma ukuveza ukubonga kwabanye ngokusuka enhliziyweni yakho.
Ungase ucabange ukuthi lokhu kuyifilosofi noma akunamsebenzi, kodwa kunezizathu eziningi zokuzama lo mkhuba.
Ziyini izinzuzo zempilo zokuba nokwazisa?
Izinzuzo zalo mkhuba sezifakazelwe ngokwesayensi. Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi abantu ababonga njalo bayajabula, balala kangcono, futhi banokuvuvukala okuncane emizimbeni yabo . Akukhona lokho kuphela, banamathuba amancane okuthola ukucindezeleka, futhi bayakwazi nokululama ngokushesha ngemva kwesenzakalo esibuhlungu.
Kokunye ukuhlola, abantu abanesifo senhliziyo esingenazimpawu bacelwa ukuba babhale phansi ukubonga nsuku zonke. Ngokumangazayo, ngemva kwamasonto ayisishiyagalombili, amazinga abo e-C-Reactive Protein (CRP), uphawu lokuvuvukala, ancipha kakhulu. Nakuba lolu cwaningo lungakufakazeli ngokuqondile, lusikisela ukuxhumana okucacile phakathi kokubonga nempilo.
Kwenzekani ebuchosheni?
Kusenocwaningo oluncane ngalokho okwenzeka ebuchosheni bethu uma sibonga. Kodwa olunye ucwaningo oluncane, olusebenzisa isithwebuli se-magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) esisebenzayo, luqaphe ukusebenza kobuchopho babantu lapho bezizwa bebonga. Luthole ukuthi lapho abantu bezizwa bebonga, babesebenza kakhulu ezindaweni zobuchopho ezihlobene nozwela kanye nobudlelwano bomphakathi .
Olunye ucwaningo olukhulu lwaluhilela abantu abacishe babe ngu-300 abaphathwa yi-psychotherapy. Iqembu elilodwa lathola ukwelashwa kwengqondo kuphela. Elinye iqembu labhala ngemizwa yalo kanye nokwelashwa. Iqembu lesithathu labhalela abantu abababongayo izincwadi, kanye nokwelashwa. Imiphumela ibonise ukuthi iqembu elabhala izincwadi zokubonga lalinempilo yengqondo engcono kakhulu kunezinye. Lokhu kuthuthuka kwaqhubeka emavikini ayi-12 ngemva kokuphela kocwaningo.
Into ebalulekile ukuthi, ukuze ubonge akudingeki ukuthi uhlale umomotheka futhi ujabule. Eqinisweni, lo mkhuba uzuzisa kakhulu labo ababhekene nezikhathi ezinzima kakhulu empilweni yabo. Ngoba yilo muzwa wokubonga kanye nokuxhumana esinakho nabanye okusisiza sibhekane nezikhathi ezinzima.
Nokho, singawuhlakulela kanjani lo mkhuba wokubonga?
Ukubonga kuyikhono esingalisebenzisa futhi silijwayele. Esikhundleni sokucabanga nje ngokubonga nsuku zonke, abantu abaningi bakuthola kuwusizo ukubekela eceleni isikhathi esithile salokhu. Ungazama eyodwa noma ngaphezulu yalezi zindlela.
| Indlela | Ungakwenza kanjani? |
|---|---|
| Ukuqamba izinto ezintathu ekugcineni kosuku | Njalo ebusuku ngaphambi kokuba ulale, cabanga ngezinto ezintathu obonga ngazo. Futhi kungani. Kungaba yinto elula njengokuthi, "Namuhla ngiyabonga ukuthi umngane wami ukhulume nami ngoba kungisize kakhulu." Ukwenza lokhu nomlingani wakho kungaba yinzuzo enkulu ebudlelwaneni benu. |
| Ukubhala incwadi yokubonga | Thatha ipeni ubhale incwadi eya kumuntu oye waba yigugu empilweni yakho (umama, ubaba, uthisha, umngane). Yibhale ngemininingwane eminingi ngangokunokwenzeka. Into efana nokuthi, "Uyazi ukuthi ngikwazisa kangakanani ngokungisiza ngalolo suku?" Uma kungenzeka, mfundele incwadi. Izobalethela injabulo enkulu futhi. Uma kunzima ukwenza kanjalo, bhala incwadi bese uyigcina nawe. |
| Ukulalela/ukufunda izindaba zokubonga | Kunezincwadi eziningi, ama-podcast, kanye ne-TED Talks mayelana nokubonga. Ukufunda noma ukulalela into efana nale imizuzu embalwa ngosuku kuzoqala ukushintsha indlela ocabanga ngayo. |
| Ukudala Ibhodi Lokubonga | Yenza ibhodi elinezithombe zabantu, okuhlangenwe nakho, nezinto ozibongayo ngazo. Libeke endaweni ovame ukulibona kuyo, njengasekhishini lakho noma ehhovisi. Lizokulethela injabulo encane njalo uma ulibona. |
| Ukuzijwayeza njengokuzindla | Imikhuba yansuku zonke iyasiza kakhulu. Ungakha ukuzindla kwakho kokubonga. Okudingeka ukwenze nje ukuhlala buthule, uvale amehlo akho imizuzu embalwa, bese ugxila ezintweni ezinhle empilweni yakho, ezinkulu nezincane. |
Faka le mikhuba empilweni yakho. Ungalindeli izinguquko ezinkulu ngobusuku obubodwa. Kodwa kancane kancane, uzobona ukuthi lo mkhuba omncane ungawenza umehluko ongakanani empilweni yakho yengqondo neyomzimba.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukubonga kuyikhono esingalifunda futhi silithuthukise libe umkhuba. Kujula kakhulu kunokumane sithi "ngiyabonga."
- Lo mkhuba unezinzuzo ezicacile empilweni yakho yengqondo neyomzimba, njengokulala kangcono, ukucindezeleka okuncishisiwe, kanye nokuvuvukala okuncishisiwe emzimbeni.
- Akudingeki ujabule ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuze ubonge. Eqinisweni, lo mkhuba ungaba amandla amakhulu ngezikhathi ezinzima empilweni.
- Qala ngento elula, njengokucabanga ngezinto ezintathu ozibongayo ngosuku noma ukubhalela othile incwadi.
- Uma usenenkinga yokulawula imicabango emibi, ukudabuka, kanye nokukhungatheka okuhlala kubuya engqondweni yakho ngisho nangemva kokwenza lezi zinto, ungalokothi unqikaze ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho ngakho.
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