Zicabange uxoxa nomlingani wakho. Ingxoxo iphenduka kancane kancane ibe yimpi. Kungazelelwe, uzizwa sengathi konke okungaphakathi kwekhanda lakho kuphazamisekile, awukwazi ukucabanga, usala nentukuthelo, ukudabuka, nokwesaba. Kuzwakala sengathi idamu liqhumile futhi imizwa eminingi ikuza phezu kwakho... Awukwazi ukuthola amagama, awukwazi ukucabanga ukuthi wenzeni. Ufuna nje ukuphuma lapho ngandlela thile. Wake wabhekana nento efana nale? Yilokhu esikubiza ngokuthi i-Emotional Flooding .
Kalula nje, kuyini ukukhukhuleka kwemizwa?
Ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo akusona isifo. Kuyisimo sengqondo esisibhekana naso. Kalula nje, kulapho imizwa yakho (njengokudabuka, intukuthelo, ukwesaba) ingasabekezeleleki ngenxa yesigameko, bese ulahlekelwa ukulawula imizwa yakho. Njengoba nje ukwengeza amanzi ebhakedeni lamanzi kubangela ukuthi ligcwale, lapho imizwa yakho iba nzima kakhulu ukuyisingatha, iyagcwala.
Kufana nokuhluba izingqimba zika-anyanisi. Uma sihluba izingqimba, kuningi okwenzekayo ngemuva kwezigcawu. Isenzakalo, indlela osibona ngayo lesi senzakalo, indlela ozizwa ngayo ngaso, nendlela osabela ngayo kulowo muzwa... zonke lezi zinto ziyahlangana ukuze zidale ulwazi lwe-Emotional Flooding. Ngisho nezazi zengqondo ziye zalwa amashumi eminyaka ukuthola imininingwane eqondile.
Yiziphi izimpawu eziyinhloko ozizwayo ngezikhathi ezinje?
Izimpawu zokukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo azifani kuwo wonke umuntu. Kungaba nzima futhi ukuzihlukanisa ngoba zifana nezimpawu zezinye izimo ezicindezelayo. Ake sibheke izimpawu eziyinhloko.
| Isici | Kalula nje... |
|---|---|
| Ukucabanga izinto ngendlela engalungile, engemihle (Kuthinta ukubandlulula kokulinganisa) | Lokhu kwenzeka lapho ubheka ukuziphatha komuntu noma isenzakalo ngendlela embi noma engalungile. Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho evala umnyango, ucabanga ngokushesha ukuthi, "Uthukuthele kakhulu futhi uzama ukungithethisa." Lokhu kusho ukuthi uqonda kabi izenzo zakhe. Ubona lesi senzakalo njengento engacabangeki, engabekezeleleki, futhi edidayo. |
| Ukuziphatha kokuphunyuka | Uzizwa unesidingo esikhulu sokubaleka, ukugijima, noma ukufihla isimo esingokomzwelo. Noma ungase ukhale ngokuzumayo, uzama ukuqeda isimo ngokushesha okukhulu. Lokhu kufana kakhulu nempendulo yokuzivikela ebuchosheni bethu ebizwa ngokuthi (ukulwa, ukubaleka, noma ukuqandisa) . Okusho ukuthi, ubuchopho buzama ukukusindisa esimweni esiyingozi nesicindezelayo. |
| Imisebenzi engahlelekile | Uma ubuchopho bakho bungena 'emodini yokusinda', okusho ukuthi buqala ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuzivikela, ulahlekelwa ikhono lokucabanga kahle. Ulahlekelwa ikhono lokwenza izinqumo ezinengqondo, ukwakha impikiswano eqondakalayo, noma ukuhlala uzolile. Lolu hlobo lokudideka kwengqondo luyisibonakaliso esiyinhloko sokukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo. |
Yiziphi izimo ezingase zenzeke ukuze lesi simo senzeke?
Nakuba ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo kwaqala kwaxoxwa ngakho maqondana nemibhangqwana eshadile, ucwaningo seluthole ukuthi kungenzeka kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano.
Ushadile noma uthandana
Lesi simo sivame ukubonakala ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi kulabo lapho kwenzeka khona ubudlova obuseduze kwabalingani (IPV) . Kodwa akugcini nje ebudlelwaneni obunjalo. Izingxabano nazo zivame phakathi kwemibhangqwana evamile. Kodwa-ke, umuntu othambekele kulolu hlobo lwezikhukhula ngokomzwelo angase asabele ngokweqile ngisho nasentukuthelweni encane evela kumlingani wakhe. Khona-ke ukuxhumana phakathi kwalaba ababili kuyaphela ngokuphelele. Imibhangqwana enjalo nayo ayinawo amandla okuxazulula izingxabano.
Phakathi kwabazali nezingane
Lokhu kungabonakala naphakathi kwabazali nezingane. Ikakhulukazi uma izingane zinezinkinga zokuziphatha. Lapho izinkinga zokuziphatha zengane zinzima kakhulu, kulapho kungenzeka khona ukuthi abazali ababhekana nezikhukhula ngokomzwelo bazophendula ngokhahlo enganeni. Bangase basebenzise izindlela ezinzima ukujezisa ingane, noma bangase bahlale bethukuthelele ingane. Okwenzekayo lapha ukuthi abazali bachaza kabi ukuziphatha kwengane , bathukuthele ngakho, futhi bajezise ingane ngokhahlo ukuze bayeke ukuziphatha.
Endaweni evamile
Lokhu akugcini nje ebudlelwaneni. Cabanga ukuthi uwise ipuleti ekhishini waliphula. Ngisho noma kungelona udaba olukhulu, kungazwakala njengenhlekelele enkulu. Ungase uthukuthele kakhulu futhi ufune ukubalekela isimo ofuna ukuhamba ngaso ngaphandle kokuthatha amapuleti aphukile.
Ubudlelwano phakathi kokukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo kanye nokulimala
Kukhona ukuxhumana okuqinile phakathi kwezehlakalo ezibuhlungu zesikhathi esidlule kanye nokukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo.
Abantu abake bahlukunyezwa noma baphathwa kabi esikhathini esidlule banamathuba amaningi okuthola lesi simo. Ukulimala ngokomzimba, njengokulimala kobuchopho okubuhlungu, nakho kungabangela ushintsho esimweni sengqondo somuntu kanye nokuziphatha kwakhe, okuholela ekukhukhuleni ngokomzwelo.
Akukhona lokho kuphela, izingane ezazijeziswa kanzima ngabazali bazo beseyizingane zinamathuba amaningi okubhekana nezimo ezikhukhulayo ngokomzwelo njengalezi lapho sezikhulile.
Ungaphunyuka kanjani futhi ulawule lesi simo?
Ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo kuyinkinga eyinkimbinkimbi, ngakho-ke asikho ikhambi elifanele bonke. Kodwa kunezinto esingazenza ukuze sikulawule.
1. Thatha isikhathi sokuphumula.
Lena yinto elula nesheshayo ongayenza. Noma nini lapho wena noma umlingani wakho nizwa le mizwa ifika, sukani esimweni isikhashana. Ngemva kwemizuzu engaba ngu-20 nihlukene futhi nizolile, ukuqina kwaleyo mizwa kuzoncipha.
Abazali bangasebenzisa le ndlela. Uma uzizwa ngale ndlela ngenkathi unomntwana wakho, ngaphambi kokuba usabele ngokushesha enganeni, suka kuleso simo isikhashana. Beka ingane endaweni ephephile, uye kwelinye igumbi bese wehlisa umoya. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nomuntu ozokusiza ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi. Cela umngane noma isihlobo omethembayo ukuthi siqaphe ingane yakho uze wehlise umoya.
2. Funda amakhono okubekezelela ukucindezeleka
Uma lokhu kwenzeka njalo, kubalulekile ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe . Ungakhuluma nodokotela wakho bese uthola i-referral kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ofanelekayo. Ngokwelashwa noma ukwelulekwa, ungafunda izindlela zokuphatha imizwa yakho nokuzola ingqondo yakho ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi.
Imibhangqwana ingazuza kakhulu ngokwelulekwa kwemibhangqwana, okungasiza izinhlangothi zombili ukuqonda isimo futhi zifunde izindlela ezingcono zokuxazulula izingxabano.
3. Shiya ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo.
Uma usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, into ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyenze ngaphambi kokuthi ucabangele i-Emotional Flooding ukufuna usizo lokuphuma ebudlelwaneni . Lokhu kungaba nzima ukukwenza wedwa. Sicela ufune usizo lokuphuma. Umngane omethembayo, ilungu lomndeni, noma udokotela wakho.Khuluma nothile ngalokhu bese uthola ukwesekwa okudingayo.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo kuyinto lapho imizwa iba namandla khona futhi ungakwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho. Akusikho ubuthakathaka bakho.
- Lokhu kungenzeka kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano, noma ngisho nalapho ninodwa.
- Ukuqaphela izimpawu kuyisinyathelo sokuqala (ukucabanga izinto ngendlela engafanele, ukufuna ukubaleka, ukuzizwa udidekile).
- Ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi, "isikhathi sokuphumula," okusho ukuthi uphume endaweni isikhashana, kuyindlela engcono kakhulu nesheshayo yokuzola ingqondo yakho.
- Uma lesi simo sihlala sithinta impilo yakho, sicela ufune usizo lochwepheshe. Unganqikazi ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho noma umeluleki.
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