Ngaba uyayiva intlungu nosizi lomhlobo wakho osenyongweni xa ejongene nento ethile? Okanye ngaba ngequbuliso ukhe ucinge, "Owu, bendiya kuziva njani ukuba bendilapho?" xa umntu ekuxelela ibali lakhe? Yileyo ndlela esibiza ngayo ukukwazi ukuzibeka ezihlangwini zomnye umntu nokuqonda oko akuvakalelwayo. Eli likhono elixabisekileyo eliqinisa ubudlelwane bethu nabantu kwaye lakha uluntu olunobubele.
Yintoni kanye kanye 'uvelwano'?
Ngamafutshane, uvelwano kukukwazi ukufumana amava omnye umntu, ukucinga ngokwembono yakhe, nokuqonda iimvakalelo zakhe. Oku kusinceda siqonde iimfuno, iimvakalelo, kunye namava abanye kuyo yonke into ukususela kubuhlobo bethu ukuya kubudlelwane bosapho ukuya kubudlelwane basemsebenzini.
Kodwa abantu abaninzi bayayibhidanisa le nto 'novelwano.' Kukho umahluko omncinci kodwa obalulekileyo phakathi kwezi zimbini.
Uvelwano kukuvelana nomntu xa edakumbile. Oko kuthetha ukuba sima ngaphandle sicinge, "Owu Thixo wam." Kodwa uvelwano luhamba inyathelo eliya phambili, sibeka iinyawo zethu ezihlangwini zaloo mntu size sizame ukuqonda amava ngokungena nzulu ngaphakathi.
Kukho iintlobo ezimbini eziphambili zovelwano. Makhe sijonge ukuba ziyintoni na.
| Uhlobo lovelwano | Kalula nje... |
|---|---|
| Uvelwano Lweemvakalelo | Kulapho sivakalelwa ngendlela efanayo naleyo omnye umntu avakalelwa ngayo. Khawuthelekelele ukuba umhlobo wakho akaphumelelanga kuvavanyo kwaye ulusizi. Ukuba ngelo xesha nawe uziva ulusizi kwaye ukhathazekile, olo luvelwano lweemvakalelo. Kuthetha ukuba iimvakalelo zabo ziyakosulela kuwe. |
| Uvelwano lwengqondo | Oku kwahlukile. Okwenzekayo apha kukuba uyaqonda ngokwengqondo ukuba omnye umntu uziva njani, kutheni evakalelwa ngaloo ndlela. Usenokungaziva ngendlela efanayo, kodwa uyiqonda kakuhle indlela aziva ngayo. Esi sisakhono esinokuphuhliswa ngokuziqhelanisa. |
Ingqondo yethu iyidala njani le mvakalelo?
Le yinto engaqhelekanga kakhulu. Nezazinzulu azikaqiniseki ngokupheleleyo ngale nto okwangoku. Kodwa kukho izimvo ezimbalwa eziphambili.
- Ithiyori yokulinganisa: Ezinye iingcali ze-neuroscientist zithi xa sibona iimvakalelo zomnye umntu, iingqondo zethu " zilinganisa " loo mvakalelo ifanayo. Oko kukuthi, kufana nokuba senza loo mvakalelo ngaphakathi kweengqondo zethu.
- IiNeuron zeSipili: Enye ingcamango kukuba oku kubangelwa liqela elikhethekileyo leeseli ezingqondweni zethu elibizwa ngokuba yi "mirror neurons." Xa sibona umntu encuma okanye edakumbile, ezi neuron ziyavutha kwaye zisinceda siqonde loo mvakalelo. Kufana nokujonga esipilini.
- Inkqubo yobukrelekrele: Abanye bathi le yinto yobukrelekrele ngokupheleleyo. Oko kukuthi, sifunda sisebancinci indlela yokuziphatha nokuziva ngayo kwimeko ethile.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba yinyani into yokuba indibaniselwano yazo zonke ezi zinto ichaphazela ubuchule bethu bokuvelana .
Indlela yokuziqhelanisa novelwano kubomi bemihla ngemihla?
Uvelwano yinto esizalwa nayo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha lunokuncipha njengoko siphila ubomi. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba yinto esinokuyiphuhlisa ngokuziqhelanisa. Nazi ezinye izinto ezilula onokuzizama.
1. Yiba nomdla kubantu ongabaziyo.
Abantu abanovelwano oluphezulu banomdla kakhulu ngabanye abantu. Abajongi nje abantu baze bajonge kude. Khawuthelekelele, uhlala usebhasini, unomncedisi wevenkile, nomntu omtsha eofisini, unelizwi elinye okanye amabini. Endaweni yokubuza, "Unjani umsebenzi?", fumana okuncinci ngobomi babo, izimvo zabo. Vuselela loo mdla wemvelo esasinawo xa sasisengabantwana. Emva koko sinokuqonda iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphila zabantu abahlukeneyo.
2. Zama ukubona izinto ezifanayo kunokwahluka.
Sonke sineembono ezahlukeneyo ngokungaziyo ezingqondweni zethu. Sithanda ukwahlula abantu ngokwebala labo, unqulo lwabo, ummandla wabo (njengelali/'iColombo'), kunye nomsebenzi wabo. Kodwa endaweni yokwenza oko, zama ukubona ukufana okungasemva kwazo zonke ezo mahluko. Sonke sifuna uthando, sikhathalele ukhuseleko lweentsapho zethu, kwaye sifuna ukonwaba . Xa siqonda ukuba ezi mvakalelo zisisiseko zabantu ziqhelekile kubo bonke, kuba lula kakhulu ukuqonda omnye umntu.
3. Zama ukubeka iinyawo zakho kwindawo yomnye umntu.
Le yindlela enamandla kakhulu. Khawucinge ukuba umntu eofisini yakho uhlala efika emva kwexesha. Ngaphambi kokuba umgxeke, cinga, "Ukuba bendinguye, kutheni ndifika emva kwexesha?" Mhlawumbi banomntu ogulayo ekhaya? Ngaba ibhasi abayisebenzisayo ukuya emsebenzini ihlala ifika emva kwexesha? Ngaba banengxaki esingayaziyo thina? Ngaphambi kokuba ugxeke izenzo zomnye umntu, zama ukuqonda isizathu seso senzo.
4. Mamela ngononophelo, kwaye wabelane nawe ngeyakho.
Uvelwano aluyondlela yodwa. Luyindlela yodwa. Kubalulekile ukumamela ngononophelo oko kuthethwa ngomnye umntu, nokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho neengcinga zakho ngokunyanisekileyo. Xa uthembela umntu kwaye umxelele okusengqondweni yakho, loo mntu uziva enamandla okuthetha nawe. Le yindlela obakheka ngayo ubudlelwane obuqinileyo nobunokuthembana.
5. Zibandakanye nomsebenzi wenkonzo yoluntu
Uvelwano alupheleli kumntu ngamnye. Lungasasazeka kuluntu lonke, kuluntu lonke. Joyina 'i-shramadan' etempileni yelali yakho, usebenze kwiziko loluntu, okanye uthathe inxaxheba kwinkqubo enceda abo bachaphazelekileyo yintlekele. Ngezinto ezinje, sifumana amava obomi babantu abakwizinga ezahlukeneyo.
Ukungabikho kovelwano kunokunxulunyaniswa neemeko ezithile zempilo yengqondo. Umzekelo, abantu abanengxaki yobuntu obungavisisaniyo nabantu kunye nengxaki yobuntu obuthanda ukuzithanda banamanqanaba aphantsi kakhulu ovelwano. Kodwa khumbula, ayinguye wonke umntu onenqanaba elifanayo lovelwano. Oko akuthethi ukuba unesifo sengqondo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ukungabi navelwano kwakho kunempembelelo enkulu kubudlelwane bakho nakubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, kufanelekile ukuthetha nomcebisi okanye ingcali yezempilo yengqondo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Uvelwano luthetha ukuzama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye ngokwembono yabo, endaweni yokucinga "Owu Thixo wam!" xa bejamelene nokubandezeleka kwabo.
- Esi sisakhono esibalulekileyo esinokusiphuhlisa ngokuziqhelanisa. Nangona sisenokungenzeki ngobusuku obunye, sinokufundwa ngokuhamba kwexesha.
- Mamela ngononophelo oko kuthethwa ngabanye, yiba nomdla wokwazi ngobomi babo, kwaye uzame ukubona ukufana kunokwahluka.
- Uvelwano lubalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuqinileyo nobonwabisayo phakathi kwabantu.
- Ukuba unengxaki ngale nto, ungafumana ulwalathiso ngokuxoxa ngayo nogqirha.
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