Ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci uhlala ekhala? Masithethe ngengqumbo ebangelwa ngumsindo!

Owu, ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci usuka athukuthele, akhale, aze aziqengqele phantsi? Ngamanye amaxesha awukwazi ukuqonda ukuba wenze ntoni, akunjalo? Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana abancinci, abaneminyaka emibini okanye emithathu ubudala, babe nolu hlobo lwengqumbo, okanye njengoko sitsho ngesiNgesi, ``Temper Tantrums''. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha nabantwana abadala banokwenza ngale ndlela, bengakwazi ukulawula umsindo wabo kunye nokukhungatheka.

Zithini ezi mpawu zomsindo? Masiziqonde ngokulula!

Ngamafutshane, ezi "Temper Tantrums" ziyindlela yokuba umntwana akhuphe ngequbuliso iimvakalelo ezinamandla (ezifana nomsindo, usizi, ukukhungatheka) angenakuzilawula. Khawuthelekelele, umntwana omncinci akazi ukuba angayichaza njani into ayifunayo ngamazwi. Emva koko ukhupha ingxaki yakhe yangaphakathi ngale ndlela.

Ngeli xesha, umntwana angaziphatha ngale ndlela:

• Ekhwaza kakhulu kwaye ekhala .
• Ulele phantsi, eqengqeleka , ejika iingalo nemilenze yakhe.
• Ukuphosa izinto eziza ezandleni zakho.
• Bazibetha , bezibetha iintloko zabo ndaweni ithile.
• Abanye abantwana basenokubamba umphefumlo .
• Ukuzama ukubetha nokuluma abanye (wena, abantakwenu).

Into ebalulekileyo kukuba, oku akuyonto eyenziwa ngumntwana kuba "embi." Kuphela nje ingqondo yakhe encinci ayikwazi ukulawula ezo mvakalelo ngelo xesha.

Kutheni uziphatha ngokungakhathali kangaka, mntwana wam? Zithini izizathu?

Zininzi izizathu zokuba umntwana angaziphathi kakuhle ngolu hlobo. Makhe sijonge ezinye zezizathu eziphambili.

Emncinci (malunga neminyaka eyi-1-4 ubudala)

Abantwana abakule minyaka banamathuba amaninzi okuba ``ne-Temper Tantrums``. Izizathu zoku zezi:

• Ukungakwazi ukuthetha kakuhle: Abanawo amazwi okuthi balambile, badiniwe, bafuna into ethile, okanye banengxaki. Ngoko ke le yingxaki ebafikela xa bengazi ukuba bayithetha njani.
• Ukuzama ukuzenzela izinto ngokwabo: Kule minyaka, bayaliqonda ihlabathi kancinci kancinci baze bacinge, "Ndingayenza ngendlela yam!" Kodwa abakwazi ukwenza yonke into. Le yindlela umsindo ophuma ngayo xa bengakwazi ukulungisa ithoyizi okanye ukunxiba izihlangu zabo.
• Ukudinwa, indlala, ukungalali : Iintsana azicaphuki nje kuphela xa zingafumani kutya okanye ubuthongo obaneleyo, kodwa nathi siyacaphuka. Oku kunzima kakhulu kubantwana abancinci ukukunyamezela.
• Izinto ezintsha, utshintsho: Xa besiya kwindawo entsha, bedibana nabantu abatsha, okanye betshintsha imisebenzi yabo yemihla ngemihla, banokuxhalaba ngequbuliso.

Abantwana abadala (emva kweminyaka emi-4)

Abantwana abakwiminyaka yesikolo nabo bangaziphethe ngale ndlela ngamanye amaxesha.

• Uvavanyo lwemida: Kukho amaxesha apho benza oku ukuze babone, "Uza kwenza ntoni umama ukuba ndenza oku?"
• Ubunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo ezinamandla :Basafunda indlela yokujongana neemvakalelo ezinje ngomsindo, usizi, umona, kunye noloyiko xa zivela.
• Ukuze ufumane ingqalelo: Ngamanye amaxesha xa uxakekile, umntwana wakho usenokuziphatha ngale ndlela ukuze afumane ingqalelo yakho.
• Ukuziphatha okufundiweyo: Ukuba umntwana ukhe wakhala, wakhala, wacela into ethile, waza wayifumana, usenokufunda athi, "Owu... ukuba ndenza oku, ndiza kuyifumana into endiyifunayo."
• Iingxaki ekhaya okanye esikolweni: Mhlawumbi uxinezeleko olubangelwa zizinto ezifana nengxaki ekhaya okanye ukulwa nomhlobo esikolweni lunokuphuma ngolu hlobo.
• Ezinye iimeko ezifihlakeleyo: Nangona zingaqhelekanga, iimeko ezifana ``(ADHD)`` (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), ``( Autism Spectrum Disorder )``, okanye izinto ezifana nokuxhalaba kakhulu nazo zinokubangela utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha kwabantwana. Ukuba unamathandabuzo malunga noku, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ubone ugqirha.

Ngaba zonke ii-pranks ziyafana?

Hayi, kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo ze-tantrums. Ezinye zibangelwa kukukhungatheka komntwana ngokwenene (ii-Frustration tantrums). Ezinye zibangelwa kukukhungatheka okufunwa yingqwalasela. Ngamanye amaxesha, umntwana usebenzisa eli qhinga ukuze afumane into ayifunayo (ii-Manipulative tantrums). Abanye abantwana banokufumana "i-Sensory Overload" ukuba inqanaba lengxolo liyanda ngequbuliso okanye ukuba baya kwindawo enabantu abaninzi.

Kwakhona, ubukhali kunye nobude bezi ngxolo ziyahluka ukusuka kumntwana ukuya komnye. Abanye abantwana bayazola kwimizuzu embalwa, ngelixa abanye banokuthatha ixesha elide.

Singabazali, singayilungisa njani le nto? Singamnceda njani umntwana wethu?

Kulungile, ngoko ke sifikelele kweyona nxalenye ibalulekileyo. Singamnceda njani umntwana size sihlale sizolile ngexesha elinje?

1. Masizame ukuthintela ububi ngaphambi kokuba bubekho! (Ukuthintela kungcono kunonyango!)

• Misela inkqubo eqhelekileyo: Ukutya ngexesha, ukulala ngexesha, nokudlala ngexesha kubaluleke kakhulu ebantwaneni. Oku kuya kubanceda bazive bekhuselekile kwaye kunciphise ukuxhalaba okungeyomfuneko.
• Vumela ukhetho oluncinci: Xa uvumela umntwana wakho ukuba enze izigqibo ezincinci ezifana nokuthi, "Ufuna ukusela kwindebe ebomvu okanye eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka?", uziva ngathi uyakwazi ukuzilawula.
• Mncome umntwana wakho ngokuziphatha kakuhle: Xa umntwana wakho esenza into elungileyo, edlala ngokuzolileyo, mncome kancinci njengokuthi, "Owu, ulungile kakhulu, jonga indlela ozibeke ngayo izinto zokudlala kakuhle." Emva koko baya kukhuthazeka ukuba benze ezo zinto zilungileyo kwakhona.
• Bafundise ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo: Bafundise amagama anje ngokuthi "Uyadakumba?", "Ubonakala unomsindo," kunye "Uyavuya?" Oku kuya kubanceda bafunde ukuchaza iimvakalelo zabo ngamazwi.
• Cinga ngeengxaki ezinokubakho kwangaphambili: Khawucinge ukuba uya evenkileni uyokuthenga ukutya. Ukuba uya xa ulambile, umntwana wakho unokuba nethuba lokulila aze acele into ethile. Ngoko ke, yiza nento eza kugcwala isisu sakho ngaphambi kokuba uhambe.

2. Izinto onokuzenza xa kwenzeka into embi:

Le yeyona nxalenye inzima, kodwa ukuba ukhumbula oku, ungayilawula imeko ngokubanzi.

• Hlala uzolile! Le yinto yokuqala neyona ibalulekileyo . Ukuba uyacaphuka okanye ukhala, umntwana uya koyika ngakumbi aze azame ngamandla. Phefumla nzulu uze ucinge, "Ndifuna ukuhlala ndizolile."
• Cinga ngokhuseleko lomntwana: Jonga ukuba umntwana usengozini yokuzilimaza, yokulimaza abanye, okanye yokuzenzakalisa impahla yakhe. Ukuba kunjalo, mse kwindawo ekhuselekileyo.
• Musa ukuyihoya loo ndlela yokuziphatha, hayi umntwana: Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uyasokola ukufumana ingqalelo (kwaye ukuba umntwana ukhuselekile), ungayihoyi loo ndlela yokuziphatha okwethutyana. Kodwa ungamshiyi umntwana wakho yedwa. Hlala ukufutshane, kodwa ungaphenduli kwindlela yokuziphatha.
• Qinisekisa iimvakalelo: Nje ukuba umntwana wakho azole kancinci, thetha into efana nale, "Ndiyaqonda ukuba ubucaphukile/udanile ngokungayifumani le nto yokudlala." Oku kwazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyayiqonda.
• Ikhefu elifutshane (`Ixesha lokuphumla`): Oku akusebenzi kuwo wonke umntu, kodwa kusebenza kwabanye abantwana. Nika umntwana wakho ixesha elifutshane lokuphumla elifanelekileyo ngokweminyaka yakhe (umz. imizuzu emi-3 kumntwana oneminyaka emi-3 ubudala) uze umshiye yedwa kwindawo ezolileyo, engenazinto zokudlala. Oku akufanele kusetyenziswe njengesohlwayo, kodwa njengendlela yokunika umntwana wakho ithuba lokuzola.
• Ukuphazamiseka: Oku kusebenza kakuhle kubantwana abancinci kakhulu (abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-2 ubudala). Ngequbuliso khombe ngefestile uthi, "Khangela, nantsi intaka entle ngaphandle!" okanye ubanike enye ithoyi.

3. Emva kokuba i-prank iphelile:

Umsebenzi obaluleke kakhulu uza emva kokuba umntwana ezolile.

• Ukugona nokuthuthuzela ngothando: Yithi, "Mama/Tata uyakuthanda kakhulu. Siyakuthanda nokuba unomsindo."
• Thetha ngesiganeko (xa umntwana ethule ngokupheleleyo): Buza izinto ezinje, "Kutheni unomsindo kangaka?", "Ubucinga ntoni?" Mamela oko kuthethwa ngumntwana.
• Bafundise indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zabo kwixesha elizayo: "Kwixesha elizayo xa unomsindo, xelela uMama/uTata, okanye masibale siye kwi-10, okanye uphefumle nzulu uze ukhuphe kancinci."
• Musa ukumnika umntwana into ayicelayo ngenxa yenzondo: Ukuba umnika ithoyizi okanye ukutya umntwana akucelileyo ngoko nangoko emva kokuba ekhale waza wakhala, umntwana uya kufunda ukuthi, "Owu... ukuba ndenza oku, ndiza kufumana into endiyifunayo." Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba ungamniki loo nto ayicelileyo ngoko nangoko, nokuba sele ezolile.

Ungaze uzenze ezi zinto!

• Musa ukukhwaza, ukumbetha, ukumthethisa, okanye ukumsongela umntwana wakho. Oku kuya kuyenza ibe mandundu imeko. Umntwana uya koyika ngakumbi aze aphelelwe kukuthemba.
• Musa ukunika umntwana wakho into ayicelayo xa enengxaki. Ukwenza njalo kuya kwandisa indlela aziphethe ngayo.
• "Ukuba uyeka ukulila, ndiza kukunika itshokolethi."Musa ukunyoba njengokuthi “Ndiza kukunika enye.” Oko kuya kufundisa umntwana izinto ezingalunganga.
• Musa ukumhlazisa umntwana wakho ngamazwi anjengokuthi “Ungumntwana ombi” okanye “Sidenge.” Oku kuya konakalisa ukuzithemba komntwana.
• Musa ukuzithelekisa nabanye abantwana. Musa ukuthetha izinto ezinje, "Jonga indlela unyana wakho alunge ngayo, nguwe wedwa osokola ngolu hlobo."

Sifanele sifune nini ingcebiso yezonyango?

Amaxesha amaninzi, ezi "Temper Tantrums" ziyaphela xa ukhula. Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezinje, ngokuqinisekileyo licebo elihle ukubonana nogqirha wabantwana okanye ugqirha wengqondo ukuze ufumane ingcebiso:

• Ukuba umsindo womntwana uxhaphake kakhulu (izihlandlo ezininzi ngemini).
• Ukuba inkohlakalo enye ihlala ixesha elide (ngaphezulu kwemizuzu engama-30) .
• Ukuba umntwana uziphethe kakubi kakhulu (uyazenzakalisa kakhulu, ubetha abanye kakhulu, uyaphula izinto).
• Ukuba ezi zinto zimbi ziyaqhubeka nangona sele zineminyaka emi-4 ukuya kwemi-5 ubudala .
• Ukuba umntwana uyasokola, ubambe umphefumlo, ujika abe luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, okanye ubonakala ngathi akazi nto.
• Ukuba ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziphazamisana nemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yomntwana (umsebenzi wesikolo, umdlalo).
• Ukuba oku kube luxinzelelo olukhulu kusapho lonke , ukuba kunzima kakhulu kubazali ukuba banyamezele.
• Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho une-ADHD, i-Autism Spectrum Disorder, i-Speech and Language Delay, okanye enye ingxaki yokukhula.

Khumbula, ukucela uncedo akubonisi ubuthathaka. Kungakunceda kakhulu wena nomntwana wakho.

Bazali, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nani nizikhathalele!

Ukujongana "nomsindo ovuthayo" womntwana kunokuba yinto edinisayo. Nawe ngamanye amaxesha unokuziva unomsindo, uphoxekile, kwaye uzibuze, "Ndenza ntoni?" Kuqhelekile kakhulu.

• Khumbula ukuba awuwedwa. Abazali abaninzi bayadlula kolu tshintsho.
• Thetha neqabane lakho ngale nto nize nincedane.
• Yabelana ngento oyicingayo nomhlobo okanye ilungu losapho olithembayo.
• Zinike ixesha lakho nanini na xa kunokwenzeka. Phumla, yenza into oyithandayo.
• Ukuba ujongene nobunzima, ungathandabuzi ukucela uncedo kumcebisi.

Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya

Kulungile, ngoko ke sithethe kakhulu namhlanje, akunjalo? Nazi izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule:

• Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana babe neentloni, ingakumbi besebancinci. Yinto yokukhula kwabo.
• Umonde, ukuzola, kunye nokungaguquguquki zezona ndlela zilungileyo zokunceda kule nto.
• Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba aziqonde aze azilawule iimvakalelo zakhe .
• Uxolo lwakho lwengqondo lubalulekile.
• Ukuba, nangona wenza konke okusemandleni akho, usenenkxalabo malunga nokuziphatha komntwana wakho , ungoyiki ukufuna uncedo lweengcali.

Olu hambo lunokuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa ungakwenza oku! Ungumama/tata olungileyo. Qhubela phambili ngokuzithemba!

Ububi babantwana , umsindo ovuthayo, iingcebiso zabazali, ukuziphatha kwabantwana, iingxaki zokuziphatha, ingqondo yabantwana, ukulawulwa kweemvakalelo