Ngaba nawe ubambeke 'kwiqela' esikolweni? Makhe sithethe ngendlela yokujongana nale 'qela'!

Sonke sithanda ukuba nabahlobo. Xa sichitha ixesha nabahlobo, sithetha, sidlala, okanye sichitha ixesha kunye, siziva sonwabile kakhulu, akunjalo? Xa sikwiqela elinjalo, izinto ezininzi ebomini zibonakala zilula, siziva ngathi sinokhuseleko. Kukho amaqela abahlobo, kwaye avulelekile kakhulu kwabanye, kwaye aguquguquka kakhulu. Ayamkela nabani na oza kuthi, 'Yiza ujoyine nathi.' Nangona kunjalo, amaqela abizwa ngokuba 'zii-clique' esiza kuthetha ngawo namhlanje ahlukile kakhulu. Anemiqathango kakhulu, kwaye abonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu onokuwajoyina. Anesimo sengqondo esithi 'leli liqela lethu, alivumelekanga kwabanye.' Kodwa ndineendaba ezimnandi kuwe, uninzi lwexesha, la 'maqela' ayanyamalala ekupheleni kwesikolo. Ngoko ke, kude kube ngoko, masithethe kancinci ngala 'maqela' kunye nendlela yokujongana nawo?

Yintoni umahluko phakathi kweqela eliqhelekileyo labahlobo kunye neqela elibizwa ngokuba 'yiqela'?

Kulungile, masibone ukuba ezi ntlobo zimbini zahluke njani. Ukuba uyakuqonda oku, izinto ezininzi ziya kucaca kuwe.

Amaqela aqhelekileyo abahlobo akhiwa ngokusekelwe kwizinto esifana ngazo sonke, njengemidlalo esiyidlalayo, izinto esizithandayo , iiklasi, okanye indawo esihlala kuyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha unxibelelwano losapho. Khawuthelekelele ukuba ukwiqela le-chess esikolweni, kwaye uba ngumhlobo nabanye abafana abakwelo qela, akunjalo? Yiyo loo nto kunjalo. Abantu abakwelo qela banokudibana ngokukhululekileyo baze bathethe nabantu abangaphandle kweqela. Akukho mntu uya kubagxotha okanye abakhuphele ngaphandle ngokwenza njalo. Basenokungenzi yonke into kunye - kwaye kulungile oko. Mhlawumbi umhlobo wakho we-chess akadlali ikhilikithi, kodwa loo nto ayiyongxaki. Bayahloniphana.

Nangona kunjalo, nangona amaqela ngamanye amaxesha enziwa ngokusekelwe kwizinto abazithandayo, uninzi lwexesha eyona nto iphambili ijoliswa kuyo 'kwisikhundla' sabo okanye 'ukuthandwa'. Khawuthelekelele iqela labantu esikolweni abacinga ukuba liqela 'elihle kakhulu'. Indlela abanxiba ngayo, indlela abathetha ngayo, iindawo abaya kuzo... bazama ukubonisa ukuba bangcono kakhulu. La 'maqela' adla ngokulawulwa liqela labantu abafana neenkokheli. Ngabo bagqibayo ukuba ngubani 'ongaphakathi' kwaye ngubani 'ongaphandle'. Abantu abakweli 'qela' benza izinto ezininzi kunye.Ukuba umntu uba ngumhlobo womntu ongaphandle kweqela, usenokungamkeleki aze ahlekiswe. Usenokuva izinto ezinje, 'Owu... ngaba nawe uthetha naloo mntu? Akafanelani neqela lethu.' Ngamanye amaxesha la 'maqela' anokuba nogonyamelo olukhulu, kwaye ayonwabela ukujongela phantsi abanye.

Kalula nje:

• Amaqela abahlobo:
• Yakhelwe kwizinto ezifana nezinto esinomdla kuzo, ezemidlalo , imisebenzi, iiklasi, iindawo esihlala kuzo, kunye nonxibelelwano losapho.
• Amalungu eqela anenkululeko yokunxibelelana nabantu bangaphandle. Akukho mntu kufuneka oyike ukushiywa ngaphandle.
• Akunyanzelekanga ukuba nenze yonke into kunye. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo.
• Ngokuqhelekileyo kuvulelekile kubantu abatsha ukuba bajoyine.
• 'Amaqela':
• Nangona isenokuba isekelwe kwingqiqo eqhelekileyo, uninzi lwabantu lujonga 'isikhundla' okanye 'ukuthandwa'.
• Iqela labantu, njengeenkokheli, lilawula. Liyagqiba ukuba ngubani oza 'kungena' kwaye ngubani oza 'kuphuma'.
• Amalungu eqela enza izinto ezininzi kunye.
• Ukuba unxulumana nomntu ongaphandle kweqela , unamathuba amaninzi okuthi ungamkeleki kwaye uhlekiswe.
• Kunzima kakhulu kubantu abatsha ukujoyina, kwaye uninzi lwexesha ababavumeli nokuba bajoyine.

Yintoni ekuncedayo ukuba ujongane nezi 'qela'?

Nokuba ukwiqela okanye ungaphandle kwalo, ezi zinto zingenza ubomi bakho bube nzima kancinci. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, kukho iindlela zokujongana noku. Makhe sibone ukuba zithini.

Zazi wena – kunye nodumo lwakho.

Khawucinge ukuba ukwiqela elithile. Okokuqala, zibuze, ngaba ufuna ukuba kweli qela kuba ufuna ukwamkelwa, kuba uzive unesizungu, okanye kuba uvumelana ngokwenene neengcinga zabo kunye nemilinganiselo yabo? Ngamanye amaxesha singena kwiqela elingalunganga singazi, akunjalo? Ngaba iqela lakho labahlobo libe luhlobo lweqela ongalithandiyo? Umzekelo, ngaba liye laba liqela elihleka abanye kwaye libajongela phantsi endaweni yokunceda abanye? Ngaba abantu bakujonga ngendlela elungileyo okanye embi ngokusekelwe kubahlobo onxulumana nabo? Ngaba kufana nokuthi, 'Lo mntwana ukwelo qela ulungile ngokwenene,' okanye 'Owu, loo mntu ukhohlakeleyo ocaphukisa abanye'? Oku kukwenza uzive njani? Ngaba ungazingca ngendlela wena nabahlobo bakho enibaphatha ngayo abanye? Zibuze le mibuzo. Kufana nokuzijonga esipilini. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuphila ngokwentliziyo yakho.

Qhubeka usenza izinto ezikwenza wonwabe.

Musa ukuvumela naliphi na iqela likuphembelele ukuba ulahle izinto ozithandayo, okanye uchithe ixesha lakho nemali yakho kwizinto ezingabalulekanga kuwe. Khawuthelekelele ukuba uthanda ukuzoba, kodwa abantu 'kwiqela' lakho bayakuhleka bathi, 'Yintoni leyo?' Musa ukuyeka ukuzoba ngenxa yoko. Zibandakanye nezinto ezikwenza uzive uxabisekile kwaye ungowakho. Kuba, xa ulungile kwinto ethile, xa wenza into oyithandayo, uzive uqinisekile kwaye wonwabile ngawe. Yiloo nto ebizwa ngokuba 'kukuzithemba'. Ngoko ke, unokuba nobuchule kwezemidlalo, ucule, udlale isixhobo somculo, uzobe, okanye uthathe inxaxheba kwidrama. Okanye ujoyine iiklabhu ezahlukeneyo zemfundo esikolweni - iklabhu yesayensi, iklabhu yoncwadi, iklabhu yengxoxo, njl. Ezi zinto aziyi kukwenza uzive ulungile ngawe kuphela, kodwa ungadibana nabahlobo abatsha abathanda izinto ezifanayo nawe. Kukho iindawo onokuvolontiya kuzo ngaphandle kwesikolo. Ndwendwela iindawo ezifana neendawo zokukhusela izilwanyana, izibhedlele, amakhaya abantu abadala, okanye iigadi zoluntu. Sikwaziva sihle xa sinceda abanye.

Gcina ubuhlobo bakho buvulekile kwaye buhlukahlukene.

Ukuvalelwa kwiqela elinye labahlobo kunokukuthintela kwihlabathi lakho. Khawuthelekelele ukuba neqela elifanayo labantu ngamaxesha onke. Emva koko awuyi kufumana zimvo ezintsha, awuyi kufunda izinto ezintsha, kwaye awuyi kuqaphela ukuba bangaphi abantu abahlukeneyo ehlabathini. Ngoko yenza abahlobo nabantu abavela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo, abaneemvelaphi ezahlukeneyo, nabathanda izinto ezahlukeneyo. Mhlawumbi umntwana othuleyo eklasini yakho ungumzobi onetalente kakhulu. Umntakwenu omdala osecaleni unokuba namava ongenakuze uwacinge. Kuxa sisebenzisana nabantu abahlukeneyo apho sifunda khona ngobomi nabantu. Fumana abantu abafanelana neengcinga zakho, iinjongo zakho , kunye nokuziphatha kwakho. Inkxaso yabahlobo abalungileyo ngumthombo omkhulu wamandla xa ukhathazekile okanye ukhathazekile, njengesibane esikhanyisa ebumnyameni.

Zimele wena nabanye.

Yiba novelwano ngeemvakalelo zabanye abantu. Musa ukunikezela kwingcinezelo embi yoontanga. Musa ukwenza into ocinga ukuba ayilunganga, nokuba abanye bayayenza. Khumbula, abahlobo bokwenene abasoze bakunyanzele okanye benze izicelo ezingeyomfuneko. Baza kuzihlonipha izigqibo zakho. Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo uyaxhatshazwa - nokuba kuyenzeka ubuso ngobuso okanye kwi-intanethi - xelela abazali bakho, umcebisi wesikolo, okanye utitshala ngokuqinisekileyo.Akukho nto inokuba neentloni ngayo le nto, ukhuseleko lwakho yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Nciphisa ixesha olichitha nabantu abahleba ngabanye abantu kwaye baphatha abanye kakubi. Ukuba ubona umntu eziphatha ngolu hlobo, mmele ukuba unako. Ngamanye amaxesha igama lakho elinye linokwenza umahluko omkhulu.

Lumka ngezinto ozithumela kwi-intanethi.

Imidiya yoluntu ibe yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bethu kule mihla. Ngoko ke, lumka amaqela akwi-intanethi kunye namaqela asebenzisa iiwebhusayithi zonxibelelwano. Ngale ndlela, abantu banokumema abahlobo babo abambalwa kuphela ethekweni, okanye bashiye izimvo ezimbi, izithuba, kwaye babeke abanye phantsi. Abanye bade benze iiprofayili zobuxoki ukuze bacaphukise abanye. Ke ngoko, bubulumko ukugcina iprofayili yakho iyimfihlo. Cinga kabini ngezithuba kunye neefoto ozithumelayo. Cinga malunga nokuba ezi ziya kuze zibe yingxaki kuwe na. Ukuxhatshazwa kwi-intanethi yenye into eyingozi yala maqela.

Yintoni enye ofuna ukuyazi ngezi 'Cliques'?

Kukho enye into ekufuneka uyazi. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abakwiqela ngokwabo bafuna ukuhamba. Kuba abafuni ukunamathela kwimithetho yeqela, ukucalula abanye, nokulimaza abantu. Asinguye wonke umntu okwiqela elineenjongo ezimbi, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha babanjwa kulo bengaqondanga. Mhlawumbi bayoyika ukuba ukuba baya kuhamba, baya kuba bodwa.

Ngoko ke, endaweni yokuxhalabela kakhulu ukuba ungowaliphi iqela lentlalo, zama ukuba ngumhlobo olungileyo kubo bonke abantu. Oko kuthetha ukuba nentlonelo, ukukhathalela, ukunyaniseka, nobubele kwabanye. Yiba ngumhlobo ofuna ukuba naye. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba nguwe, uphile ngokwemilinganiselo yakho. Xa uthembekile kuwe kwaye uthembekile, abahlobo abalungileyo baya kukurhangqa.

Okokugqibela, kukho izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Kulungile, ngoko ke kukho izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzithathele ingqalelo koko sithethe ngako. Ezi zifana nemiqondiso ekubonisa indlela ohamba ngayo.

• Ungaze ulibale ukuba ungubani kwaye zithini izithethe zakho. Musa ukuzitshintsha ukuze ungene 'kwiqela'. Intliziyo yakho iyazi okulungileyo nokungalunganga.
• Fumana abahlobo bokwenene. Zingqonge ngabantu abakuxhasayo, abakuqondayo, nabakuncedayo ukuba uveze okona kulungileyo kuwe. Ubuhlobo bubudlelwane obuhle phakathi kwabantu ababini, abunakuba luxinzelelo.
• Baphathe ngobubele nangentlonelo abanye. Musa ukoyika ukumela umntu ukuba ubona ecalulwa. Nokuba uncedo oluncinci oluvela kuwe lunokuba luncedo olukhulu komnye umntu.
• Lumka nakwihlabathi le-intanethi. Khusela ubumfihlo bakho. Cinga ngabantu ababona yonke into oyithumelayo.
• Khumbula,Uninzi 'lwamaqela' onawo esikolweni luya kunyamalala emva kwexesha elithile. Ubomi bukhulu kakhulu kunoko. Ngoko ke musa ukuvumela oku kube sisiphelo sehlabathi. Cinga ngekamva lakho, ulonwabo lwakho.

Ungumntu oxabisekileyo kakhulu. Musa ukuvumela naluphi na 'udidi' lunciphise ixabiso lakho! Yiba nguwe, kwaye ihlabathi liya kukuthanda.

Amaqela, abahlobo, abahlobo besikolo, amaqela, ukubekelwa ecaleni, ubudlelwane bezentlalo, ulutsha , impilo yengqondo , ukuxhaphaza