Uma utholakala unomdlavuza, kufana nombani oshaya impilo yakho. Ngokuphazima kweso, konke ebesikuphupha kuyaphenduka. Ukugxila kwethu kusekulashweni , ekuhlinzweni, nasemithini. Kodwa ngemuva kwakho konke lokhu, kukhona into esingacabangi ngayo, into evame ukusiphula ngaphakathi. Leso yisimo sengqondo salolu hambo. Namuhla, sizokhuluma ngale mpi engokomzwelo, ngokusekelwe endabeni yowesifazane osemusha owabhekana nesimo esinjalo.
Indlela impilo eyashintsha ngayo
Lena indaba yowesifazane osemusha ogama lakhe linguCarissa. Ngaphambi kokuba umdlavuza uhlasele, wayefana nami nawe, eneminyaka engamashumi amabili. Wayethembisene umshado, esebenza esaluni yobuhle, futhi ephila kamnandi nabangani bakhe. Wayethuthele endlini entsha nesoka lakhe futhi wayephupha ngomshado wakhe. Impilo yayihamba kahle kakhulu.
Ngolunye usuku ngesikhathi egeza, wezwa iqhubu ebeleni lakhe. Lapho eya emtholampilo, bathi njengoba eneminyaka engu-30 kuphela, kwakungeyona into embi kangako, futhi uzobuya ezinyangeni eziyisithupha. Odokotela bacabanga ukuthi kungaba isimila esinamafutha, "i-Lipoma" engenawo umdlavuza.
Kodwa ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha, wezwa iqhubu likhula. Wayengakwazi ngisho nokubona udokotela ngesikhathi ngenxa ye -COVID-19 . Nakuba ayeqala ukwesaba kakhulu, wazitshela ukuthi njengoba esemncane futhi kungekho muntu emndenini wakhe owayenomdlavuza, ngeke kube nenkinga.
Ekugcineni, udokotela wakhuluma wamnika izindaba ayengafuni ukuzwa. "Unomdlavuza." Amagama awakwazi ukuchaza ukushaqeka akuzwa ngaleso sikhathi. Ukuhamba ngemoto imizuzu emihlanu ukuya ekhaya kwazwakala sengathi kuyinto engapheli. Wayecabanga ngomshado wakhe, lapho ezwa ngokuzumayo ukuthi unohlobo lomdlavuza webele olubizwa ngokuthi `(Isigaba II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)`.
"Kungani lokhu kwenzeke kimi? Ngingumuntu omuhle. Ngisiza wonke umuntu. Kungani lokhu kwenzeke kimi?" Lo mbuzo wawubuya engqondweni yakhe.
Inkinga enkulu kuye ukuthi wayebhekene nakho konke lokhu eneminyaka yakhe. Lapho eqala ukwelashwa ngamakhemikhali , abanye abantu ababeza bezokwelashwa kwakungabesifazane abaseminyakeni yabo yo-50, 60, 70. Wayengumuntu omncane kunabo bonke ekamelweni. Bambheka sengathi, 'Wenzani lo mntwana omncane lapha?' Wayezibuza into efanayo ngempela.
Lezo zinsuku zadlula njengephupho.
Ngemva kokuqala ukwelashwa, ngazizwa ngingenamizwa. Kwakungathi ngizibuka ngaphandle komzimba wami. Kwakukhona ukwelashwa okuqhubekayo, ukuhlinzwa, imithi... odokotela abangifundisa ngemithi, ukuya emakilasini, ukunginika izinto zokufunda, nezinto eziningi engingazenzela isikhathi sazo. Konke lokhu kwenzeke ngesikhathi se-COVID-19, ngakho kwadingeka ngenze konke ngedwa.
Ngokusho kukaCarissa, ngaleso sikhathi wayengenazo nhlobo imizwa. Njengerobhothi.
Izinselele ezengeziwe ezihlangatshezwe ngesikhathi sokwelashwa
- Ukucabanga ngabantwana: Ngaphambi kokuqala i-chemotherapy, wayeqandisile amaqanda akhe ngoba wayengenakukwazi ukulahlekelwa ithuba lokuba nomntwana esikhathini esizayo. Inqubo ye-IVF, kanye nokujova njalo okwakudingeka akwenze esokeni lakhe, kwakuwumthwalo omkhulu.
- Ukulahlekelwa izinwele: Njengabesifazane abaningi, uCarissa wakuthola kunzima ukulahlekelwa izinwele zakhe. Njengochwepheshe wezimonyo, wayeziqhenya ngezihluthu zakhe ezinde nezijiyile. Lapho izinwele zakhe ziqala ukuqhekeka zibe yizicucu, wayazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuzisika. Lapho isoka lakhe ligunda ikhanda, wazizwa sengathi uzoyeka ukukhala. Ngesikhathi ehlela umshado, waqaphela ukuthi kungaba nzima kangakanani ukuthenga izingubo zomshado ezingenazinwele.
Indlela yokubhekana nalezi zikhathi ezinzima
Lapho ukuba ndikindiki esasinakho ngesikhathi sokwelashwa kunyamalala, kwaba usizi olukhulu. Lapho sithola ukwelashwa, sisuke "sisesimweni sokusinda". Kuphela uma lowo mkhuba usuphelile, sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga ngalokho esikulahlekile. Kunjengokungathi sililela impilo yethu yakudala.
Kodwa uCarissa wayekuqonda ukucindezeleka. Manje usebonana nodokotela wezokwelapha futhi uyilungu leqembu lokusekelana elinabantu abanolwazi. Umndeni nabangane bangamandla akhe amakhulu.
Into emangalisa kakhulu kwakuwukusekelwa engakuthola kubantu engingabazi engangingakaze ngibabone. "Into eyodwa umdlavuza owangifundisa yona ukuyeka ukuzama ukujabulisa abanye abantu. Ngifunde ukuthi akukubi ukucabanga ngezidingo zami nokwamukela usizo kwabanye."
Manje usethatha ukwelashwa ngama-hormone. Kunemiphumela emibi. Ukushisa komzimba, ukushintshashintsha kwemizwa, kanye nokungalali. Kusenezinsuku lapho ekhala khona endlini yokugezela. Kodwa ufunda ukuphila usuku ngalunye ngesikhathi. Ukulalela ingoma emnandi, ukukhuluma nomngane, kanye nokuhlela umshado wakhe wesikhathi esizayo kumlethela injabulo.
"Lokhu kunzima, kodwa ngihlala ngizama ukucabanga ngohlangothi oluhle. Ngoba ngiyazi ukuthi ukucabanga yilokho okubalulekile."
| Inselele yemizwa | Indlela okuzwakala ngayo | Izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nesimo |
|---|---|---|
| Ukushaqeka nokuphika | Imizwa efana nokuthi "Lokhu akunakwenzeka kimi", "Kungani mina?". Umuzwa wokungakwazi ukucabanga lutho. | Khuluma nomuntu omethembayo. Buza udokotela wakho imibuzo ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uyasiqonda isimo. |
| Ukuba ndikindiki ngesikhathi sokwelashwa | Umuzwa wokungabi namizwa. Umuzwa wokubukwa ungaphandle komzimba wakho. | Cabanga nje ngosuku olulodwa ngesikhathi. Ungazami ukulawula yonke into ngesikhathi esisodwa. Jabula ngezinto ezincane. |
| Usizi nosizi | Ukuzizwa udabukile ngempilo yakudala eyalahleka ngemva kokwelashwa. Usizi olubangelwa izinto ezifana nokulahlekelwa izinwele. | Yamukela ukuthi ukuzizwa udabukile kuyinto evamile. Bona umeluleki noma ujoyine iqembu lokusekela. |
| Ithemba nokuqhubekela phambili | Kunezinsuku ezinhle nezimbi. Ukuhlela ikusasa kukwenza ujabule. | Zinike isikhathi sezinto ozithandayo. Ungesabi ukucela usizo kwabanye. Zijwayeze ukucabanga okuhle. |
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukwelashwa komdlavuza kuyimpi engokomzimba kanye nempi enkulu yengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuzilungiselela kokubili.
- Kujwayelekile ngokuphelele ukuzwa imizwa efana nokushaqeka, ukwesaba, ukudabuka, intukuthelo, kanye nokungazweli. Zivumele uzizwe imizwa yakho.
- Ungazami ukuhamba lolu hambo wedwa. Thola usizo emndenini, kubangani, futhi uma kudingeka, kuchwepheshe (njengomeluleki). Kungamandla, hhayi ubuthakathaka.
- Akukubi ukulila ngempilo yakho yakudala. Lolo sizi luzokusiza ukuthi uqhubekele phambili neqiniso lakho elisha.
- Gxila ezintweni ongakwazi ukuzilawula. Ziphathe usuku ngalunye. Cabanga ngempilo yakho yengqondo kanye nempilo yakho yomzimba.
- Uma wena noma othile omaziyo ebhekene nalokhu, khuluma ngempilo yakhe yengqondo futhi, uma kudingeka, mthumele kudokotela ukuze athole usizo.
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