Ubuhlungu nesizungu esizizwayo lapho silahlekelwa umuntu oseduze nathi futhi simthanda kunzima ukukusho, akunjalo? Kuyafana nalapho sibhekene nokulahlekelwa okukhulu empilweni yethu ngenxa yengozi noma inhlekelele yemvelo. Lokhu kudabuka okujulile nobuhlungu yilokho esikubiza ngokuthi "usizi." Lokhu kuvamile, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kudabuka kuba nzima kakhulu ukukuthwala. Ngakho-ke namuhla, ake sixoxe ngokuthi luyini usizi nokuthi singaluthola kanjani usizo lokubhekana nalo.
Kuyini Ukwelulekwa Ngezinkinga Zokuhlushwa?
Kalula nje, ukwelulekwa ngosizi kuyindlela yokwelapha yobungcweti ekusiza ukuthi ubhekane futhi uphathe usizi olujulile nobuhlungu obuzwayo. Kukusiza ukuthi uqonde imizwa yakho, ungalwi nayo, futhi uphile ngeqiniso lakho elisha.
Udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wathola izigaba ezinhlanu eziyinhloko zosizi ngo-1969. Nakuba kungebona bonke abantu abadlula kuzo zonke lezi zigaba ngokulandelana, kubalulekile ukuzazi.
- Ukuphika: Ukucabanga, "Cha, lokhu akunakwenzeka."
- Intukuthelo : Ukuzizwa uthukuthelele wena, abanye, ngisho noNkulunkulu, ubuza ukuthi, "Kungani lokhu kwenzeke kimi?"
- Ukuxoxisana: Ukuzama ukushintsha isimo ngokucabanga izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ukube bengikwenzile lokhu, ngabe usakhona."
- Ukucindezeleka: Imizwa yokudabuka okukhulu, isizungu, nokulahlekelwa isithakazelo kunoma yini.
- Ukwamukela: Ukuvuma ukuthi ukulahlekelwa kwenzekile futhi unquma ukuqhubeka nalelo qiniso.
Khumbula, wonke umuntu udabukile ngendlela ehlukile. Akukho sikhathi noma uhlelo olubekiwe kulokhu. Abanye abantu babhekana nezigaba ezimbili noma ezintathu zalezi, kanti abanye bangase babhekane nalolu sizi ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele.
Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, ungase uzwe izimpawu ezifana nalezi:
- Ukuzizwa ushaqekile kakhulu
- Ukungakholwa
- Ukukhathazeka nokungaphumuli
- Ukucindezeleka okukhulu kwengqondo
- Ukungalali
- Isifiso sokudla
Uma le mizwa ikwenza kube nzima ngawe ukusebenza empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi udinga usizo. Abanye abantu bayalulama zingakapheli izinyanga eziyisithupha, kodwa abanye bangathatha unyaka noma ngaphezulu.
Ingabe kunezinhlobo ezahlukene zosizi?
Yebo, uhlobo losizi lungahluka kuye ngohlobo lokulahlekelwa esibhekana nakho kanye nobuhlobo esibe nabo nalowo muntu noma into. Ake sibheke ezinye zezinhlobo eziyinhloko.
Usizi Oluyinkimbinkimbi
Iningi labantu lifunda ukulawula usizi lwabo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kodwa kwabanye abantu (cishe u-15%) lolu sizi lungahlala unyaka noma ngaphezulu, futhi lungaba nzima kakhulu. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi . Kungenza kube nzima ukusebenza empilweni yansuku zonke.
| Izici Zosizi Oluyinkimbinkimbi | |
|---|---|
| Ukuzwa ukudabuka okukhulu nokuqhubekayo kanye nobuhlungu bengqondo. | Ngihlala ngifisa sengathi ungaphinde uhlangane nomuntu olahlekile. |
| Ukuzizwa ungenalutho futhi ungenathemba ngokuphila. | Ukucabanga njalo ngomuntu olahlekile noma ukuthi washona kanjani. |
| Kunzima ukukhumbula ngisho nezinkumbulo ezinhle zomuntu olahlekile ngenjabulo. | Ukugwema noma yini (izindawo, impahla) ekukhumbuza ngomuntu olahlekile. |
| Ukulahlekelwa umuzwa wokuzibona, umuzwa wokulahlekelwa ubuwena. | Ukuzama ukuhlala wedwa, kude nabangani nomndeni. |
Usizi Olubuhlungu
Cabanga ukuthi ubungazizwa kanjani uma ulahlekelwe othandekayo wakho ngokungazelelwe, njengasengozini, noma uma uzibonela lesi senzakalo ngamehlo akho. Usizi oluvela esimweni esinjalo lungabizwa ngokuthi usizi olubuhlungu . Le mizwa ngezinye izikhathi ingavela emahoreni, ezinsukwini, noma ngisho namasonto ngemva kwesenzakalo. Lokhu kungaba yinto enzima kakhulu futhi eyesabekayo ukubhekana nayo. Uma ubhekene nalokhu, bona udokotela wakho ngokushesha bese ucela usizo.
Isifo Senhliziyo Esiphukile
Nakuba usizi lungase lubulale umuntu, ukucindezeleka kokushaqeka okungazelelwe kungathinta inhliziyo. Uma uzizwa udabukile kakhulu, umzimba wakho ukhipha ama-hormone amaningi okucindezeleka. Lokhu kungabangela ukuba ingxenye yenhliziyo yakho ivuvuke futhi igazi lakho liphampe ngokungajwayelekile. Ungase futhi uzwe ubuhlungu besifuba, obufana nokuhlaselwa yinhliziyo. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi i-broken heart syndrome . Kodwa ungakhathazeki, abantu abaningi bayalulama phakathi namasonto ambalwa.
Ubudlelwano phakathi kosizi nokucindezeleka
Izimpawu zosizi, njengokudabuka, ukukhathazeka, nokuphelelwa yithemba, zifana kakhulu nezokucindezeleka. Kodwa-ke, lezi zimo zihlukile. Kodwa-ke, usizi lungaholela nasekucindezelekeni, okungenza usizi lube lubi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, uma unalezi zimpawu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuluma nodokotela, udokotela wezifo zengqondo, noma umeluleki.
Yiziphi izindlela ezisetshenziswayo ekwelulekeni ngosizi?
Kunezinhloso ezine eziyinhloko zokweluleka ngosizi:
- Kusiza ukwamukela ukuthi ukulahlekelwa kuyiqiniso.
- Isiqondiso sokubhekana nobuhlungu bosizi.
- Ukusiza ukujwayela impilo ngaphandle komuntu olahlekile.
- Ukuthola izindlela zokuqhubekela phambili empilweni, ngenkathi ugcina isibopho nomuntu olahlekile enhliziyweni yakho.
Ngenxa yalokhu, izazi zengqondo noma abeluleki basebenzisa izindlela ezifana ne -Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) noma i-Psychotherapy .
| Indlela yokweluleka | Incazelo |
|---|---|
| Ukubhekisela engxoxweni | Ngikukhuthaza ukuthi ukhulume ngokulahlekelwa, umuntu omlahlekile, kanye nezimo eziholele ekufeni. |
| Ukuqashelwa kwemizwelo | Ucelwa ukuthi uchaze imizwa oyizwayo (ukudabuka, intukuthelo, umuzwa wecala). |
| Amasu okuvimbela | Amasu okubhekana nesimo aklanyelwe ukubhekana nezinsuku ezikhethekile njengezinsuku zokuzalwa kanye nezikhumbuzo. |
| Ukuhlonza ukuziphatha okulimazayo | Ukuhlonza nokusiza ukunqoba ukuziphatha okulimazayo okulimaza impilo yansuku zonke. |
| Ukwakha ubuwena obusha | Kukusiza ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha futhi wakhe ubuwena obusha empilweni. |
Ungazisiza kanjani izingane ukuba zibhekane nosizi?
Izingane zizwa usizi ngendlela ehlukile kunabantu abadala. Ekuqaleni aziqondi ukulahlekelwa kanye nomthelela wako empilweni yazo. Zifunda ukulila ngokubuka abantu abadala. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuba qotho futhi uqonde ngqo lapho ukhuluma nengane ngalokhu.
Uma ushonelwa othandekayo, kubalulekile ukufuna usizo lomeluleki wezingane ukuze akusize ufunde ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nosizi ngendlela enempilo. Ungahlanganyela futhi ekwelashweni komndeni njengomndeni. Ungasiza futhi ingane yakho ukuqonda lokhu kulahlekelwa ngemisebenzi efana nokuxoxa izindaba nokudlala.
Ngingaluthola kanjani usizo lokwelulekwa?
Uma usizi lwakho lukucindezela futhi lukwenza kube nzima ukusebenza, kungcono ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Akukaze kube sekwephuzile noma kusenesikhathi ukufuna usizo. Kodwa uma ushesha ukufuna usizo, kulapho ungakha khona amandla owadingayo ukuze ubhekane nesimo.
Ungakhuluma nodokotela womndeni wakho bese uthola i-referral kudokotela wengqondo oqeqeshiwe noma umeluleki. Ungathola nosizo oluvela emayunithi ezempilo yengqondo ezibhedlela zikahulumeni. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukucela usizo hhayi ukuhlupheka wedwa.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Kuvamile kakhulu ukulila ngokushonelwa othandekayo. Akusikho ubuthakathaka.
- Wonke umuntu ukhala ngendlela ehlukile futhi isikhathi esithathayo sihlukile. Ungaziqhathanisi nabanye.
- Uma ubuhlungu bakho bukhulu kangangokuthi bukuvimbela ukwenza imisebenzi yakho yansuku zonke, ungangabazi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Khuluma nodokotela wakho.
- Nakekela impilo yakho yomzimba neyengqondo phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Yidla kahle, uvivinye umzimba ngangokunokwenzeka, futhi ulale ngokwanele.
- Zibekezelele. Zinike isikhathi sokululama.
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