Ke pilikia nei kāu keiki me nā 'cliques' ma ke kula? E kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i kēia!

He mea nui loa ka launa pū ʻana me nā hoaaloha ma ke kula, ka noho pū ʻana, a me ka leʻaleʻa me kēlā mau hoaaloha no nā keiki mai ka wā ʻōpiopio. Akā i kekahi manawa, hoʻomaka kēia mau hui o nā hoaaloha, a i ʻole ka mea a mākou e kapa nei he 'sets', e hana iki i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa. ʻO kekahi mau keiki 'i loko', kekahi 'i waho', a mālama wale i ko lākou 'kūlana'. Ma muli o kēia mau 'cliques', hiki ke paʻakikī loa i nā keiki ke hana me nā hoaaloha kula a hana i nā hana kula, ʻoi aku hoʻi no nā keiki kula waena. Akā, mai hopohopo, ma ke ʻano he makua, he nui nā mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana e kōkua i kāu keiki i kēia manawa.

He aha ka 'clique'? Pehea kona ʻokoʻa mai kahi hui maʻamau o nā hoaaloha?

ʻO ka maʻamau, ʻaʻohe hewa o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hui o nā hoaaloha. Hāʻawi ia i nā keiki e hoʻolilo manawa me kekahi, pāʻani, a aʻo. Akā, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o kahi 'clique' ma mua o kēlā. I ka ʻōlelo maʻalahi, he mau lula ko ka 'clique' e pili ana i ka mea 'i loko' a me ka mea 'i waho'. Manaʻo nui lākou i ke 'kūlana' o kā lākou hui. Loaʻa iā lākou kahi ʻano e like me 'ʻo mākou ka mea maikaʻi loa' a 'ʻaʻole maikaʻi nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e like me mākou'. ʻO ia ke kumu he ʻokoʻa nā 'cliques' mai kahi hui maʻamau o nā hoaaloha a hiki ke hoʻopilikia i nā keiki.

Ke ʻeha nei kāu keiki i kahi 'clique'? Pehea ʻoe i ʻike ai?

Aia kekahi mau keiki i loko o kahi hui. Aia kekahi i waho. Aia paha kekahi mau keiki i loko i kēia lā a puka i waho i ka lā ʻapōpō. Inā kaumaha koke kāu keiki, a inā paha e noho kaʻawale ana kekahi keiki launa pū, pono ʻoe e noiʻi. E nīnau iā ia e pili ana i ia mea. Hiki paha ma muli o kahi hui ma ke kula.

Inā e hoʻokaʻawale ʻia kāu keiki e kahi 'clique', pehea lā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he makua e kōkua ai?

Ke kū nei kekahi keiki i kahi kūlana e like me kēia, pono lākou i kāu kākoʻo. E nānā inā hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kēia mau mea.

E kaʻana like i kāu mau ʻike.

Inā ua loaʻa iā ʻoe nā ʻike like i kou wā ma ke kula, e kamaʻilio me kāu keiki e pili ana i ia mea. ʻAʻole nā ​​​​​​hui he mea i hana ʻia i kēia manawa koke nei, ua lōʻihi lākou! Ke lohe kāu keiki i kāu moʻolelo, e ʻike lākou ʻaʻole ʻo lākou wale nō ka mea e hele nei i kēia. E hāʻawi kēia iā lākou i ka ikaika nui. Manaʻo paha lākou , "Inā ua hana ʻia kēia iā mama/pāpā pū kekahi, he mea maʻamau paha kēia."

E wehewehe i kāu keiki i ke ʻano o ke ʻōlelo "hōʻole ʻia".

E kōkua i kāu keiki e hoʻomaopopo i ke kaumaha a lākou e ʻike ai ke pale aku a hōʻole paha kekahi iā lākou. I ka manawa like, e hoʻomanaʻo iā lākou i kekahi manawa huhū pū mākou i ko mākou mau mākua, nā hoaaloha, a me nā kaikaina. Akā e aʻo pū iā lākou i ka wikiwiki o ka mae ʻana o kēlā huhū. ʻO ia hoʻi, e kōkua i kāu keiki e hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole mau loa ka hōʻole ʻana a me ka pale ʻana, hiki iā lākou ke loli . E haʻi iā lākou e kamaʻilio hou paha ka hoaaloha nāna lākou i pale aku i kēia lā me lākou i ka lā ʻapōpō.

E kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pilina olakino a me nā pilina maikaʻi ʻole.

E wehewehe i kāu keiki i ke ʻano o ka pilina maikaʻi a me ke ʻano o ka pilina maikaʻi ʻole. E aʻo iā lākou pehea e ʻike ai i nā pilina hoʻokahi ʻaoʻao, a i ʻole ka hoʻopunipuni. E haʻi iā lākou i kekahi manawa hoʻohewa ka poʻe i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma ko lākou helehelena, ʻano, a me ke ʻano o ko lākou ʻaʻahu ʻana. Eia naʻe, e wehewehe i ka poʻe e hana ʻino ana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā lākou e hana pinepine pēlā no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou i hilinaʻi iā lākou iho a hoʻāʻo e kāohi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e uhi iā lākou.

Hiki i nā alakaʻi Clique ke hopohopo maoli.

E noʻonoʻo i ia mea, ʻo ke kanaka alakaʻi o ka 'clique' e hopohopo nui paha i ka kaulana a me ka ʻae ʻia e nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma mua o ke keiki i kipaku ʻia. ʻO ka mea a lākou e manaʻo maoli ai, ʻaʻole ia ka mea a lākou e hōʻike nei. ʻO ka poʻe e like me kēia , he poʻe hopohopo loa paha lākou. No laila, e haʻi aku i kāu keiki ʻaʻole e hoʻohewa i nā kānaka ma ko lākou helehelena waho.

E huli i nā moʻolelo a me nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni e pili ai kāu keiki.

He nui nā puke, nā hōʻikeʻike TV, a me nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni e hōʻike ana i nā huapalapala i lanakila ma luna o kēia ʻano hōʻole a lanakila hope loa. Ke aʻo nei kēia mau moʻolelo i kahi leka ikaika e pili ana i ka waiwai o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe iho a me ke koʻikoʻi o ka lilo ʻana i hoaaloha maikaʻi. No ka laʻana, hōʻike nā puke e like me "Blubber" na Judy Blume i nā keiki ʻōpio i ka wikiwiki o ka loli ʻana o nā "cliques". Hiki i nā keiki ʻelemakule a me nā ʻōpio ke pili i nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni e like me "Mean Girls," "Angus," "The Breakfast Club," a me "Clueless."

E kālele ana i nā hana extracurricular

Inā ʻaʻole kāu keiki i komo i ia mau mea, e hoʻokomo iā lākou i nā hana extracurricular. ʻO nā laʻana e komo pū me nā papa hana noʻeau, nā haʻuki, nā hana koa, ke aʻo ʻōlelo, a i ʻole ka hana manawaleʻa. Hāʻawi kēia mau hana i kāu keiki i ka manawa kūpono e kūkulu i kahi hui kaiaulu hou a hoʻomohala i nā mākau hou. E kōkua kēia iā lākou e hoʻomohala i kahi manaʻo o ka noho ʻana a me ka hauʻoli ma waho o ka hui kula.

Ke noho nei kāu keiki i loko o kahi 'clique' a hoʻoweliweli i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe? Inā pēlā, he aha kāu e hana ai?

I kekahi manawa, ʻo kāu keiki paha ke kanaka e noho ana i loko o kahi 'clique' a hoʻokaʻawale i nā keiki ʻē aʻe, e hoʻohenehene ana iā lākou, a e hoʻomāinoino ana iā lākou. Inā ʻike ʻoe i kekahi mea e like me ia , pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio koke me kāu keiki e pili ana i ia mea. I kēia mau lā, mai nā hōʻike talena a hiki i nā hōʻikeʻike maoli ma ke TV, ʻo ke ʻano kolohe a me ka hoʻōho ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ua hōʻike ʻia he mea nui, no laila ʻo ke aʻo ʻana i nā keiki i nā mea e like me ka lokomaikaʻi, ka mahalo, a me ke aloha ua lilo ia i mea paʻakikī nui no nā ʻohana.

E kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka 'mana' a me ke 'mana' i loko o nā pilina aloha.

E kamaʻilio me kāu keiki e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka hana ʻana o ka mana a me ka kaohi i loko o nā pilina aloha. E ho'āʻo e hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu e manaʻo ai lākou he pono lākou e komo i loko o kahi hui, a he aha nā kumu no ia mea. E kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana i ka poʻe i loko o ka hui, ʻo wai ka poʻe i waho, a me ka mea e hana ʻia ana i nā keiki ma waho (ʻo ia hoʻi, ua hoʻowahāwahā ʻia lākou, ua hoʻokaʻawale ʻia, a i ʻole ua hoʻoweliweli ʻia?). E hoʻomanaʻo i kāu keiki he ʻokoʻa ka hoʻolilo ʻana i ka manawa me kekahi mau hoaaloha mai ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe .

E nīnau i ke keiki inā haʻaheo lākou i kā lākou ʻano.

E nīnau i kāu keiki inā haʻaheo lākou i ke ʻano o kā lākou hana ma ke kula, a paipai iā lākou e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ia mea. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau i nā nīnau e like me, "Ke hauʻoli maoli nei ʻoe i kou hana ʻana pēlā?" "Pehea kou manaʻo inā hana kekahi keiki ʻē aʻe i kēlā iā ʻoe?"

Eia kekahi, e nīnau i nā kumu, nā kākā'ōlelo aʻoaʻo, a i ʻole nā ​​luna kula ʻē aʻe no ko lākou manaʻo no nā mea e hana nei i loko a ma waho o ka lumi papa. Hiki iā lākou ke nīnau inā he mau papahana ko ke kula e kōkua i ka hoʻokele ʻana i nā cliques a kōkua i nā haumāna me nā manaʻo like ʻole e hana pū.

Pehea ʻoe e kōkua ai i kāu keiki e hoʻomohala i nā pilina maikaʻi?

Hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua i kāu mau keiki e hoʻomohala i nā pilina maikaʻi a pale i ka lilo ʻana i mea paʻa loa i nā 'cliques' ma ka hāʻawi ʻana iā lākou i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo:

E ʻimi i ka mea 'hana', mai 'kūpono wale'

E noi i kāu keiki e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kā lākou mea e mahalo ai, nā mea a lākou e makemake ai, a inā kūpono kēlā mau mea i ka hui a lākou e noho nei. E nīnau i nā nīnau e like me:

• 'He aha ke kumu nui āu e makemake ai e lilo i lālā o kēia hui?'
• "He aha ke ʻano o nā ʻaelike āu e hana ai e lilo i lālā o kēia hui? He kūpono anei kēlā mau mōhai?"
• 'He aha kāu e hana ai inā e haʻi aku ke alakaʻi o ka hui iā ʻoe e hana ʻino i nā keiki ʻē aʻe, a i ʻole e haʻi aku iā ʻoe e hana i kahi mea āu i makemake ʻole ai e hana?'
• 'He aha ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka hoʻohenehene a me ka hoʻoluhi, ka hoʻohenehene wale ʻana, a me ka hoʻohenehene ʻana ma ke ʻano e hōʻeha ai i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe?'

E haʻi aku iā lākou ʻaʻole e haʻalele i nā mea a lākou e aloha ai.

E noʻonoʻo ua makemake mau kāu keiki e hoʻokani piano, akā ua hoʻoholo koke ʻoe he "ʻaʻole maikaʻi" a makemake ʻoe e haʻalele. E kamaʻilio me kāu keiki e pili ana i ia mea a kōkua iā lākou e ʻimi i kahi hopena. E paipai iā lākou e komo i nā hana a lākou e hauʻoli ai a e kūkulu i ko lākou hilinaʻi iā lākou iho.

E paipai i nā ʻano hoaaloha like ʻole

E paipai i kāu keiki e hana i mau hoaaloha mai nā wahi like ʻole, nā ʻano, nā makahiki, a me nā hoihoi, nā mea a lākou e makemake ai a hauʻoli ai e noho pū me ia. E lilo i kumu hoʻohālike no kāu keiki ma ka hana ʻana i nā hoaaloha a me nā hoa like ʻole e like me ka hiki, o nā makahiki a me nā ʻano like ʻole. E haʻi iā lākou hiki iā lākou ke aʻo nui i ke ola ma ka launa pū ʻana me nā ʻano kanaka like ʻole ma mua o ka launa pū ʻana me ke ʻano kanaka like.

E noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ke 'ʻano' o ka pilina, ʻaʻole i ke 'kūlana'.

ʻO ka hopohopo nui ʻana inā he mau hoaaloha kāu mau keiki me ka poʻe 'kūpono' a i loko o nā hui 'kūpono' hiki ke alakaʻi iā lākou e hopohopo e pili ana i ke 'kūlana'. Akā , e kālele i nā pilina maikaʻi a maikaʻi. E kōkua i kāu keiki e hoʻomaopopo ʻoiai inā he mau hoaaloha kā lākou, he poʻe maikaʻi a hilinaʻi nō lākou.

E aʻo iā lākou e ʻōlelo kūʻē i ka hana hewa a kū no haʻi.

Inā makaʻu a hoʻokaumaha ʻia paha kāu keiki e nā mea e hana nei i loko o nā 'cliques', e paipai iā lākou e kū no lākou iho a me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hoʻowahāwahā ʻia a hoʻoweliweli ʻia paha. E haʻi aku iā lākou ʻaʻole e komo i kekahi mea a lākou e manaʻo ai he hewa. ʻAʻole ia he mea nui inā he ʻakaʻaka wale nō a he kamaʻilio ʻana paha e pili ana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

E haʻi iā lākou e lawe i ke kuleana no kā lākou mau hana

E paipai i kāu keiki e noʻonoʻo i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a ʻaʻole e ʻae i nā mea āpau no ka mea wale nō ka ʻōlelo a ka hui. E hoʻomanaʻo i kāu keiki e mahalo mau ka hoaaloha maoli i kou mau manaʻo, nā makemake, a me nā koho, ʻaʻohe mea pehea lākou ʻokoʻa. Hiki ke paʻakikī ke kū i waho o ka lehulehu i kekahi manawa, akā ʻo ka mea hope loa, e aʻo i kāu keiki he kuleana ko lākou no kā lākou ʻōlelo a me kā lākou hana.

Nā mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo (Leka Lawe-Home)

Ke nānā mākou i nā mea a mākou i kamaʻilio ai, hiki ke paʻakikī ka hana ʻana me nā hui i kekahi manawa. Akā e hoʻomanaʻo, hiki ke loli koke kēia mau mea. ʻO ka hui āu i loaʻa i kēia lā e nalowale paha i ka lā ʻapōpō. ʻO ka mea nui aʻe, ʻo ia ka hana ʻana i nā hoaaloha maoli - nā poʻe hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio pū me, ʻakaʻaka pū me, a hilinaʻi pū.

ʻO ka mea huna maoli no ka lilo ʻana i 'kaulana' maoli, ʻo ia ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e lilo i ke ʻano hoaaloha āu e makemake ai: mahalo, kūpono, kākoʻo, lokomaikaʻi, hilinaʻi, a maikaʻi. ʻO ia ka haʻawina waiwai nui e aʻo aku i kāu keiki.

Nā hoaaloha kula , nā hui liʻiliʻi, nā hui, ka hoʻokae ʻia ʻana, ka hoʻoweliweli ʻana, nā pilina olakino, ke kākoʻo makua