Ngaba umntwana wakho unengxaki 'yeqela' esikolweni? Masithethe ngale nto!

Ukwenza abahlobo esikolweni, ukuba kunye nokonwaba nabo bahlobo kubaluleke kakhulu kubantwana besebancinci. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha la maqela abahlobo, okanye oko sikubiza ngokuba 'ziiseti', aqala ukuziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kancinci. Abanye abantwana 'bangena', abanye 'baphume', kwaye bakhathalele kuphela 'imeko yabo'. Ngenxa yala 'maqela', kunokuba nzima kakhulu ebantwaneni ukujongana nabahlobo besikolo nokwenza umsebenzi wesikolo, ingakumbi kubantwana besikolo abaneminyaka ephakathi. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, njengomzali, zininzi izinto onokuzenza ukunceda umntwana wakho ngeli xesha.

Yintoni 'iqela'? Lahluke njani kwiqela labahlobo eliqhelekileyo?

Ngokwesiqhelo, akukho nto imbi ngokuba neqela labahlobo. Ivumela abantwana ukuba bachithe ixesha kunye, badlale, kwaye bafunde. Kodwa 'iqela' liyinkimbinkimbi ngakumbi kunoko. Kalula nje, 'iqela' linemithetho malunga nokuba ngubani 'ongaphakathi' kunye 'nophumayo'. Bacinga kakhulu 'ngesimo' seqela labo. Banesimo sengqondo esithi 'thina singcono' kwaye 'abanye abalunganga njengathi'. Yingakho 'iqela' lahlukile kwiqela eliqhelekileyo labahlobo kwaye linokubangela iingxaki ebantwaneni.

Ingaba umntwana wakho unengxaki 'yeqela'? Uyazi njani?

Abanye abantwana bakwiqela labantu. Abanye bangaphandle. Abanye abantwana basenokuba bangaphandle namhlanje baze baphume ngomso. Ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakala elusizi ngequbuliso, okanye ukuba umntwana othanda abantu kakhulu uchitha ixesha eyedwa ngequbuliso, kufuneka uphande. Mbuze ngayo loo nto. Isenokuba kungenxa yeqela labantu esikolweni.

Ukuba umntwana wakho uphoswa ecaleni ngenxa 'yeqela', ungamnceda njani njengomzali?

Xa umntwana ejongene nemeko efana nale, udinga inkxaso yakho. Jonga ukuba ungazenza na ezi zinto.

Yabelana ngamava akho.

Ukuba ukhe waba namava afanayo ngelixa usesikolweni, thetha nomntwana wakho ngaloo nto. Amaqela abantu awekho kutshanje, kudala ekho! Xa umntwana wakho esiva ibali lakho, uya kuqonda ukuba akangomntu wedwa odlula kule meko. Oku kuya kumnika amandla amaninzi. Banokucinga , "Ukuba oku kuye kwenzeka nakumama/kutata, oku kumele ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo."

Chazela umntwana wakho ukuba kuthetha ukuthini 'ukwaliwa'.

Nceda umntwana wakho aqonde intlungu ayivayo xa umntu emgxotha okanye emlahla. Kwangaxeshanye, mkhumbuze ukuba ngamanye amaxesha nathi siyabacaphukela abazali bethu, abahlobo, kunye nabantakwethu. Kodwa mfundise nokuba loo msindo uphela ngokukhawuleza kangakanani. Oko kukuthi, nceda umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ukwaliwa kunye nokungavumi akuhlali ixesha elide, kunokutshintsha . Mxelele ukuba umhlobo omgxothayo namhlanje angathetha naye kwakhona ngomso.

Thetha ngobuhlobo obusempilweni nobungenampilo.

Chazela umntwana wakho ukuba yintoni ubuhlobo obusempilweni kunye nokuba yintoni obungalunganga. Mfundise indlela yokubona ubuhlobo obucala-nye, okanye obungebobo. Mxelele ukuba ngamanye amaxesha abantu bayabagweba abanye ngenkangeleko yabo, ukuziphatha kwabo, kunye nendlela abanxiba ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, cacisa ukuba abantu abaphatha abanye kakubi baze babathobe badla ngokwenza njalo kuba bengazithembi kwaye bazama ukulawula abanye ukuze bafihle oko.

Iinkokeli zeqela zinokuba nomsindo ngokwenene.

Cinga nje, umntu okhokela 'iqela' usenokuba uxhalabele kakhulu ukuthandwa nokwamkelwa ngabanye kunomntwana ogxothiweyo. Oko akuvakalelwayo ngokwenene akukuko oko akubonisayo. Abantu abanjalo basenokuba abazithembi kakhulu. Ngoko ke mxelele umntwana wakho ukuba angabagwebi abantu ngembonakalo yabo yangaphandle.

Fumana amabali kunye neemuvi umntwana wakho anokuziva.

Iincwadi ezininzi, iinkqubo zeTV, kunye neemuvi zibonisa abalinganiswa aboyisa olu hlobo lokungamkeleki baze ekugqibeleni baphumelele. La mabali afundisa umyalezo onamandla malunga nexabiso lokuba yinyani kuwe kunye nokubaluleka kokuba ngumhlobo olungileyo. Umzekelo, iincwadi ezifana ne "Blubber" kaJudy Blume zibonisa abantwana abancinci indlela "amaqela" anokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza ngayo. Abantwana abadala kunye nabantu abadala abancinci banokuziva ngeemuvi ezifana ne "Mean Girls," "Angus," "The Breakfast Club," kunye ne "Clueless."

Gxila kwimisebenzi yangaphandle kwesikolo

Ukuba umntwana wakho akakabandakanyeki kwizinto ezinjalo, mbandakanye kwimisebenzi yangaphandle kwesikolo. Imizekelo ibandakanya iiklasi zobugcisa, ezemidlalo, ubugcisa bokulwa, ukufunda ulwimi, okanye ukuzithandela. Le misebenzi inika umntwana wakho ithuba lokwakha iqela elitsha lentlalo kunye nokuphuhlisa izakhono ezintsha. Oku kuya kumnceda aphuhlise uvakalelo lokuba ngumntu kunye nolonwabo ngaphandle kweqela lesikolo.

Ingaba umntwana wakho uhleli 'kwiqela' kwaye uxhaphaza abanye? Ukuba kunjalo, kufuneka wenze ntoni?

Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakho usenokuba nguye ohlala 'kwiqela' aze agxothe abanye abantwana, abahlekise, aze abaxhaphaze. Ukuba ubona into enjalo , kufuneka uthethe nomntwana wakho ngayo ngoko nangoko. Kule mihla, ukusuka kwimiboniso yetalente ukuya kwimiboniso yokwenyani kwiTV, ukuziphatha kakubi nokukhwaza abanye kuboniswa njengento enkulu, ngoko ke ukufundisa abantwana izinto ezinje ngobubele, intlonipho, kunye novelwano kuye kwaba ngumceli mngeni omkhulu kwiintsapho.

Thetha 'ngamandla' kunye 'nolawulo' kubuhlobo.

Thetha nomntwana wakho ngendlela amandla nolawulo olusebenza ngayo kubuhlobo. Zama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni bevakalelwa kukuba kufuneka babe kwiqela elithile, kwaye zeziphi izizathu zaloo nto. Thetha ngokukhululekileyo malunga nokuba ngubani okwiqela elithile, ngubani ongekhoyo, kunye nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kubantwana abangaphandle (oko kukuthi, ngaba bayatyeshelwa, bayacalulwa, okanye bayaxhatshazwa?). Khumbuza umntwana wakho ukuba ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo abambalwa kwahlukile ekukhupheleni ngaphandle ngabom abanye .

Buza umntwana ukuba uyazingca na ngokuziphatha kwakhe.

Buza umntwana wakho ukuba uyazingca na ngendlela aziphethe ngayo esikolweni, kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba acinge ngayo. Ungambuza imibuzo efana nale, "Ngaba uyonwabela ngokwenene xa uziphethe ngolo hlobo?" "Ubungaziva njani ukuba omnye umntwana akwenze loo nto?"

Ukongeza, buza ootitshala, abacebisi bezifundo, okanye amanye amagosa esikolo ukuba akunike izimvo zabo malunga nokuba kwenzeka ntoni ngaphakathi nangaphandle kweklasi. Banokubuza nokuba isikolo sinazo naziphi na iinkqubo zokunceda ukulawula amaqela kunye nokunceda abafundi abanezimvo ezahlukeneyo ukuba basebenzisane.

Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho ukuba abe nobuhlobo obuhle?

Ungabanceda abantwana bakho bakhe ubuhlobo obusempilweni kwaye baphephe ukubambeka kakhulu 'kwiiqela' ngokubanika la macebiso:

Fumana into 'esebenzayo', unganeli nje 'ukungena'

Cela umntwana wakho ukuba acinge ngezinto azixabisayo, izinto azithandayo, kunye nokuba ezo zinto ziyangena na kwiqela akulo. Buza imibuzo efana nale:

• 'Yintoni eyona sizathu sokuba ufune ukuba kweli qela?'
• 'Luhlobo luni lwezivumelwano ekufuneka uzenze ukuze ube kweli qela? Ngaba ezo zinto uzincamayo zifanelekile?'
• 'Ubungenza ntoni ukuba inkokeli yeqela ikuxelela ukuba ubaphathe kakubi abanye abantwana, okanye ikuxelela ukuba wenze into ongafuni kuyenza?'
• 'Yintoni umahluko phakathi kokugculela nokuxhaphaza, ukugculela nje, nokugculela ngendlela elimaza abanye?'

Baxelele ukuba bangayeki izinto abazithandayo.

Khawucinge nje ukuba umntwana wakho ebesoloko efuna ukudlala ipiyano, kodwa ngequbuliso agqibe kwelokuba "ayimnandi" aze afune ukuyiyeka. Thetha nomntwana wakho ngayo kwaye umncede afumane isisombululo. Mkhuthaze ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi ayithandayo neyakha ukuzithemba kwakhe.

Khuthaza abahlobo abahlukeneyo

Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba enze abahlobo abavela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo, kwiimvelaphi, kwiminyaka, nakwizinto anomdla kuzo, abantu abathandayo nabanandiphayo ukuba kunye nabo. Yiba ngumzekelo kumntwana wakho ngokwenza abahlobo abaninzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka, abaneminyaka eyahlukeneyo kunye neentlobo ezahlukeneyo. Baxelele ukuba banokufunda okuninzi ebomini ngokudibana nabantu abahlukeneyo endaweni yokuchitha ixesha nabantu abafanayo.

Cinga 'ngomgangatho' wobuhlobo, kungekhona 'isikhundla'.

Ukuxhalaba kakhulu malunga nokuba abantwana bakho bangabahlobo nabantu 'abafanelekileyo' na kwaye bakwiqela 'elifanelekileyo' kunokubakhokelela ekubeni bakhathazeke 'ngesimo'. Endaweni yoko , gxila kubuhlobo obuhle nobusemgangathweni. Nceda umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba nokuba unabahlobo abambalwa, basengabantu abalungileyo nabathembekileyo.

Bafundise ukuthetha ngokuchasene nokwenza okubi nokumela abanye.

Ukuba umntwana wakho uziva esoyika okanye ecinezelwe yinto eyenzekayo 'kwii-clique', mkhuthaze ukuba azimele yena kunye nabanye abahlukunyezwayo okanye abaxhatshazwayo. Mxelele ukuba angathathi nxaxheba kuyo nayiphi na into acinga ukuba ayilunganga. Akunamsebenzi nokuba yintlekisa nje okanye ukuhleba ngabanye.

Baxelele ukuba bathathe uxanduva ngezenzo zabo

Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abe novelwano kwabanye kwaye angavumelani nayo yonke into kuba nje iqela lithetha njalo. Khumbuza umntwana wakho ukuba umhlobo wokwenene uya kuhlala ezihlonipha izimvo zakho, izinto ozikhethayo, kunye nokukhetha kwakho, nokuba zahlukile kangakanani na. Kunokuba nzima ukuvela kwisihlwele ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ekugqibeleni, fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba unoxanduva lwento ayithethayo neyenzayo.

Izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Xa sijonga into ebesithetha ngayo, ukujongana namaqela abantu kunokuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa khumbula, ezi zinto zinokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza. Iqela onalo namhlanje lisenokunyamalala ngomso. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukwenza abahlobo bokwenene - abantu onokuthetha nabo, uhleke nabo, kwaye utyhile kubo imbilini yakho.

Imfihlo yokwenene yokuba 'uthandwa' ngokwenene kukuzama ukuba luhlobo lomhlobo ofuna ukuba lulo: onentlonelo, onobulungisa, oxhasayo, onobubele, othembekileyo, nolungileyo. Lelo lelona sifundo sibalulekileyo onokusifundisa umntwana wakho.

Abahlobo besikolo , amaqela, amaqela, ukubekelwa ecaleni, ukuxhaphaza, ubuhlobo obusempilweni, inkxaso yabazali