Ngaba wakha wenza into encinci ukunceda umntu waza waziva uvuya kakhulu kwaye ukhululekile emva koko? Mhlawumbi kwakuxa wawusukuma unika umntu omdala isihlalo sakho ebhasini, xa wawunika umntu olahlekileyo esitratweni imiyalelo, okanye xa wawusiya kutyelela umhlobo ogulayo... Loo 'mvakalelo imnandi' imnandi efika engqondweni ngelo xesha ayisiyomvakalelo nje. Ubusazi ukuba kukho isayensi eninzi emva kwayo? Namhlanje siza kuthetha ngayo. Makhe sijonge indlela ukunceda abanye, oko kuthetha ukungabi nabugovu, okuchaphazela ngayo imizimba yethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu.
Yintoni le 'ingxaki yokunceda'?
Ngamafutshane, ukwenzela abanye okulungileyo ngaphandle kokulindela nantoni na ngembuyekezo kuthiwa kukubonelela abanye. Ulonwabo, ulwaneliseko, kunye nemvakalelo efudumeleyo esiyivayo xa senza into efana nale kuthiwa 'kukuvuya komncedisi'.
Khawucinge nje, ingakanani imisebenzi yokuzithandela eyenziwa ngabanye abantu ngexesha labo lokuphumla? Iqala ekusasazeni ukutya kwabasweleyo, ekucoceni okusingqongileyo, ekuncedeni abantu abadala, nasekwenzeleni abamelwane babo into ethile. Ngoko ke izazinzulu zaqala ukukhangela oku. Kutheni abantu besenza oku? Ngaba kukho inzuzo kwimpilo yomntu ofumana uncedo, kunye nomntu olunika lona? Uphando lwamva nje luthi, "Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo."
Unxibelelwano phakathi kobubele nempilo yethu
Sonke siyazi ukuba uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo alulunganga emzimbeni. Xa siziva sixinezelekile, umzimba wethu uphendula ngokuthi "lwa okanye ubaleke". Ngeli xesha, iihomoni ezifana ne-"cortisol" ziyakhutshwa, izinga lentliziyo yethu liyanyuka, kwaye ukuphefumla kwethu kuyakhawuleza. Oku akuyongxaki okwethutyana elifutshane. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba le meko iqhubeka ixesha elide , inkqubo yethu yomzimba yokuzikhusela , intliziyo, kunye nemithambo yegazi iqala ukuba buthathaka.
Kulapho iimvakalelo zobubele ziba ngathi 'liyeza' elikhulu. Xa sinceda abanye, xa sibonisa ububele, iimvakalelo ezintle esizivayo zilawula iimpendulo ezimbi zomzimba ezibangelwa luxinzelelo.
Kukho izifundo ezininzi ezenziweyo ngale nto.
- Uphononongo olusebenzisa abafazi: Iqela labafazi lajongwa iminyaka engama-30Okumangalisayo kukuba, ngaphezu kokuba babenabantwana abangaphi okanye ukuba babenemfundo engakanani, ubomi babo babuchaphazeleka kukuba babezinikela okanye abazange bazinikele. Abafazi ababezinikela babenomngcipheko ophantsi kakhulu wokufumana izifo ezinzulu kunabo bangazange benze njalo.
- Uphononongo lwabantu abadala: Ezinye izifundo ezibini ezinkulu zifumanise ukuba abantu abadala abavolontiyayo baphila ubomi obusempilweni nobude kunabo bangakwenziyo oko. Olunye uphando lubonise ukuba ukuzithandela kwakunokunciphisa umngcipheko wokufa ngaphambi kwexesha ngama-44% kunokwenza umthambo iintsuku ezine ngeveki.
Iingqondo zethu kunye ne-genes zidibene njani noku?
Olu 'luvo luhle' aluyonto nje eyenzekayo engqondweni. Lunesiseko sebhayoloji.
Impendulo yobuchopho
Izazinzulu zifumanise ngokusebenzisa iiskeni ezifana ne-'fMRI' ukuba xa siziva iimvakalelo ezinzulu ezifana novelwano nobubele, iindawo ezithile zobuchopho bethu ziyasebenza. Kanye njengokuba umama ejonga umfanekiso wosana lwakhe, inxalenye yengqondo ethi '(prefrontal lobe)' iyasebenza. Le yinxalenye yobuchopho bethu enoxanduva lokunyamekela nokwakha ubudlelwane . Ulonwabo oluvela koku lwahluke kakhulu kulonwabo oluvela kwisenzo soomatshini njengokubhala itshekhi. Luvela ekuqhagamshelaneni nabantu ngokwenene, ukubanceda ngoncumo, ilizwi elifudumeleyo, ukubabetha egxalabeni.
Impembelelo yamahomoni
Iikhemikhali ezisemzimbeni wethu, oko kukuthi, iihomoni, nazo zibandakanyeka kakhulu koku.
| Ihomoni | Impembelelo emzimbeni |
|---|---|
| I-Oxytocin | Oku kubizwa ngokuba yi-'bonding hormone'. Kunceda ekwakheni ukuthembana phakathi kwabantu, ulwalamano phakathi komama nomntwana. Xa sinceda abanye, ukukhutshwa kwale hormone kuyanda kwaye kunciphisa uxinzelelo lwethu. |
| I-Dopamine | Le 'yikhemikhali emnandi'. Isenza sizive sonwabile kwaye sanelisekile. Xa senza into elungileyo, ingqondo yethu ivelisa le hormone, esikhuthaza ukuba senze izinto ezilungileyo ngakumbi. |
| Ii-Endorphins | Ezi zifana neepilisi zentlungu zendalo eziveliswa ngumzimba. Zinegalelo ekuziveni ulonwabo oluvela ekuzilolongeni nasekusebenzeni into elungileyo. |
Izakhi zofuzo kunye nobomi obude
Izigqubuthelo ezikhuselayo ezisekupheleni kwezakhi zofuzo zethu zibizwa ngokuba yi-'(Telomeres)'. Cinga ngayo njengeqhekeza elincinci leplastiki elisekupheleni kwentambo yesihlangu. Lithintela intambo ukuba ingagugi. Yiyo le ndlela 'iiTelomeres' ezikhusela ngayo izakhi zofuzo zethu. Uxinzelelo lwexesha elide lunokunciphisa ezi 'Telomeres' , nto leyo ebangela ukwaluphala kwangethuba kunye nezifo. Kodwa izazinzulu zikholelwa ukuba iimvakalelo ezintle ezifana nobubele nothando ziyanceda ekuzikhuseleni.
Ingaba olu bubele luyinto esiyizuz’ ilifa?
Abantu liqela lezilwanyana ezihlala kunye . Ukuncedana nokuhlala kunye kwakubalulekile ukuze siphile. KwanoDarwin wathi "ububele" bubaluleke kakhulu ekusindeni koluntu kunokusinda "kwabaphilileyo."
Kwaye imeko-bume esikhulela kuyo nayo inefuthe elikhulu koku. Abantwana abathandwa kwaye bakhathalelwa ngabazali babo kunye nabantu abadala besebancinci banokuba nemfesane nobubele xa bebadala. Loo nkathalo inceda ekuphuhliseni iindawo zobuchopho babo ezinxulumene nemfesane. Ukuba ulwa noxinzelelo olungapheliyo, kubalulekile ukuthetha nogqirha wakho ngalo mba.
Ngoko ke, ukunceda omnye umntu akuyonto ilungileyo nje kuloo mntu. Yinkonzo exabisekileyo kakhulu oyenzela wena. Ulonwabo lwengqondo kunye nokuphila kakuhle emzimbeni okuvela kuyo azinakuthelekiswa nanto.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukunceda abanye (ububele) akusiyo nje into elungileyo, kukutyala imali kwimpilo yakho yomzimba nengqondo.
- Izenzo zobubele zinciphisa amanqanaba omzimba wakho eehomoni zoxinzelelo ezifana ne-cortisol, ziphucula impilo yentliziyo, kwaye ziphucula amajoni akho omzimba.
- Xa unceda umntu, uziva uphilile kwaye wanelisekile ngenxa yokukhululwa 'kweehomoni zolonwabo' ezifana ne-Oxytocin kunye neDopamine.
- Uphando lubonise ukuba ukuzithandela nokunceda abanye kunokukunceda uphile ubomi obude nobunempilo.
- Enye yezona ndlela zilungileyo zokulawula iimvakalelo ezimbi ezifana nomsindo, inzondo, kunye nomona entliziyweni yakho kukwenza into elungileyo kwabanye.
💬 Comments (0)
Akukho zimvo zithunyelweyo okwangoku. Faka uluvo lwakho apha okokuqala.
Faka uluvo lwakho