Ngaba ngamanye amaxesha ukhe ucinge, "Owu, bendifanele ukuba ndenze okungakumbi"? Ngaba uziva ngathi awuzange uzalisekise uxanduva lwakho kwiqabane lakho, ebantwaneni bakho, emsebenzini, okanye kuluntu? Ngaba udiniwe yile mvakalelo ingapheliyo yokuba netyala ? Yimvakalelo edinisayo ngokwenene. Makhe sibone ukuba kutheni oku kusenzeka, ukuba kunaliphi ifuthe emzimbeni nasengqondweni yethu, kunye nendlela yokukoyisa.
Yintoni kanye kanye le mvakalelo yokuba netyala?
Ngamafutshane, ukuziva unetyala kuvakala kubanzi kakhulu. Abanye abantu baziva benetyala 'kakuhle' . Yiyo loo nto isithintelayo ukuba singahambi ngendlela engalunganga kwaye isikhuthaza ukuba senze into elungileyo. Umzekelo, xa ukhubekisa umntu, kulungile ukuba nosizi ngaye kwaye uxolise.
Kodwa abanye abantu baziva benetyala elibi kakhulu elibatyayo. Abaze babe nexesha lokuphumla. Bahlala bezisola nokuba yinto encinci abayenzileyo.
Kutheni abanye abantu bevakalelwa ngolu hlobo?
Kunokubakho izizathu ezininzi zoku, ezona ziphambili bubuntu bethu kunye nempembelelo evela kuluntu.
Impembelelo yobuntu
Abantu abaneempawu ezithile zobuntu bathambekele ngakumbi kule mvakalelo yokuba netyala.
- Abantu abangaqinisekanga nabanamahloni: Abantu abangenalo ukuzithemba kwaye abanamahloni kancinci badla ngokucinga kabini ngayo yonke into abayenzayo. Bahlala bexhalabile besithi, "Ngaba ndenze into elungileyo? Ngaba ndenze impazamo?" Oku kunokukhokelela ngokulula kwiimvakalelo zokuba netyala.
- Abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo: Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba yonke into abayenzayo ifanele ibe gqibelele, igqibelele ngokupheleleyo. Abakwazi ukunyamezela neyona mpazamo incinci. Oku kuqhelekile nakubantu abaneempawu zokuzibamba . Bacinga kakhulu ngezenzo zabo baze bazive benetyala ngazo.
Umthwalo osithwalisa uluntu
Oku kuphenjelelwa kakhulu bubuntu bethu, kunye noluntu esiphila kulo. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, amantombazana namakhwenkwe anikwa amathemba ahlukeneyo athi, "Ufanele ube ngolu hlobo." Xa oku kungenakufezekiswa, kuvela iimvakalelo zokuba netyala.
Abafazi kunye netyala
Kuluntu lwethu, ukuzihlonipha kwabasetyhini kudla ngokuba yinto eqhelekileyo.Yakhiwa ngobudlelwane nabanye. Besoyika ukuba "abanye baza kucinga ukuba ndingumntu onobugovu," bathatha uxanduva olungaphezulu kunalo banokukwazi ukuluthwala ngaphandle kokucinga ngabo. Umsebenzi wasekhaya, umsebenzi wabantwana, umsebenzi, imicimbi yezalamane... Ukuba bazibekela ixesha elincinci phakathi kwayo yonke le nto, baziva benetyala ngayo.
Amadoda kunye netyala
Kwelinye icala, inkwenkwe ixelelwa kwasebuntwaneni ukuba kufuneka “ifunde kakuhle ize ifumane umsebenzi olungileyo,” kwaye “ikhathalele usapho lwayo.” Ukuzithemba kwabo kwakhelwe kwimpumelelo yabo. Ngoko ke, ukuba abaphumeleli njengoko babenethemba, ukuba abafumani msebenzi ulungileyo, okanye ukuba abakwazi ukufikelela kulindelo lwabazali babo, baziva benetyala kakhulu.
Amaxesha ahlukeneyo ebomini kunye neemvakalelo zokuba netyala
Olu luvo luhlala luvela xa usiba ngumzali. Bangaphi abazali abakhathazwa ziingcinga ezinje, "Andimphathi kakuhle umntwana wam? Zeziphi izinto ezenziwa ngabantu abasecaleni kwabantwana babo?"
Akukho ndlela yokubalekela oku nokuba sele ukhulile. Khawucinge ngomzali omele aye kwikhaya labalupheleyo. Bakhala besithi, "Owu, bekufuneka ndithengise ipropati ebendinokuyinika abantwana bam ndize ndihlale apha." Okwangoku, abantwana abanabazali abathunyelwe kwikhaya labalupheleyo baziva benetyala elikhulu, "Besingenakukwazi ukunyamekela umama/utata wethu."
Olu luvo luyichaphazela njani impilo yethu?
Olu luvo luhlala luhleli lokuba netyala alubi nje kuphela engqondweni yethu, kodwa nasemizimbeni yethu. Uxinzelelo olubangelwa koku lubangela utshintsho lweekhemikhali emizimbeni yethu. Ezinye zeziphumo zoku zidweliswe kwitheyibhile engasezantsi.
| Icandelo elichaphazelekayo | Iziphumo ezinokwenzeka |
|---|---|
| Impilo Yengqondo | Ukuhlala ucinga ngendlela engafanelekanga ngawe kunokubangela iimeko ezifana nokudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba . |
| Impilo Yomzimba | Iintloko ezibuhlungu rhoqo, iintlungu zomqolo. Umngcipheko wexesha elide wesifo sentliziyo kunye neengxaki zesisu. |
| Inkqubo yomzimba | Ekuhambeni kwexesha, amandla omzimba okumelana nezifo, oko kukuthi, inkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela , ayaba buthathaka. |
Ungayisusa njani imvakalelo yokuziva unetyala ngokugqithisileyo?
Ukuba ubunale mvakalelo ukususela ebuntwaneni, kunokuba nzima ukuyisusa ngobusuku obunye. Kodwa ukuba uyazama, unokuzikhulula kancinci kancinci kule mvakalelo inzima.
Ziqhelise ukuthi 'hayi'.
Kunzima ukuthi "hayi" kumntu othi "ewe" kuyo yonke into. Kodwa ukuba uluhlobo lomntu ohlala ezibeka ekugqibeleni, nantsi into ekufuneka uyenze. Zibuze ukuba kutheni usoyika ukuthi "hayi." "Ngaba abanye abantu baza kundithanda? Ngaba abantu baza kuthetha ngam?" Xa ucinga ngale ndlela, uya kuqonda ukuba olo loyiko alunasiseko.
Cinga ngawe nawe.
Cinga ngale nto, "Ndiza kuzinyamekela njani ngelixa ndinyamekela zonke ezi mbopheleleko?" Kuba ukuba uyawa, akukho mntu uza kukukhathalela. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba uzikhathalele. Zibekele ixesha elincinci yonke imihla lokwenza into oyithandayo nokuphumla.
Qala ngezinto ezincinci.
Musa ukuzama ukwenza utshintsho olukhulu ngaxeshanye. Kunzima ukuthi 'hayi' ekuqaleni. Kodwa njengoko udibanisa uloyiso oluncinci ngolo hlobo, kuya kuba lula kancinci kuwe.
Cinga kwakhona ngezinto ozilindeleyo.
Ngaba ulandela amaphupha akho okanye amaphupho abazali bakho? Oko kwasebenzela abazali bakho kusenokungasebenzi kuwe. Ngoko cinga ngento oyifunayo ngokwenene uze uzibekele iinjongo zakho.
Funda kwiimpazamo.
Abantu bayazenza iimpazamo. Kuqhelekile. Yeka ukujonga iimpazamo zabanye abantu uze ucinge, "Ndingumntu osileleyo." Endaweni yoko, cinga, "Le yimfundiso kum, ndiza kwenza ngcono kwixesha elizayo."
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuziva unetyala yinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa musa ukuyivumela ilawule ubomi bakho.
- Qonda ukuba le mvakalelo ingonakalisa impilo yakho yengqondo neyomzimba.
- Beka iimfuno zakho ngaphambi kwezinto ezilindelwe ngabanye abantu. Musa ukoyika ukuthi 'hayi' xa kuyimfuneko.
- Iimpazamo ngamathuba okufunda, kungekhona izizathu zokuzibeka ityala.
- Ukuba kunzima ukujongana nezi mvakalelo wedwa, thetha nomhlobo okanye ilungu losapho olithembayo. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, bona ugqirha wakho ukuze akunike iingcebiso zobungcali.
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