Lesi yisihloko esibucayi, kodwa kuyinto okudingeka sixoxe ngayo. Ukukhulelwa kungenye yezikhathi ezinhle kakhulu empilweni yabesifazane abaningi. Kodwa kwabanye besifazane, lesi sikhathi asijabulisi njengoba becabanga. Kunalokho, bangase bazizwe besaba, bekhathazekile, futhi bebuhlungu phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko zalokhu kungaba yinto ebuhlungu abayitholayo beseyingane noma besebancane, njengokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi.
Njengoba umzimba wakho ushintsha ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, ama-hormone eshintsha, futhi ulungiselela ukubeletha, lezo zinkumbulo ezicindezelwe zesikhathi esidlule zingabuya zivele. Kufana nokuvula kabusha inxeba elidala. Kodwa into ebaluleke kakhulu okudingeka uyazi ukuthi akudingeki ubhekane nalokhu wedwa nokuthi kunezindlela zokudlula kulokhu.
Indlela izithunzi ezimnyama zesikhathi esidlule ezithinta ngayo isikhathi samanje
Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kangaka ebuntwaneni kungathinta impilo yonke yowesifazane, ikakhulukazi endleleni athola ngayo ukunakekelwa kwezempilo. Odokotela bezifo zabesifazane kanye nodokotela bezifo zabesifazane abacwaninga ngalokhu bathi abanye besifazane abaye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo bayesaba ngisho nokuvakashela udokotela wezifo zabesifazane. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izinto ezifana nokuhlolwa kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane zibakhumbuza ngokuhlangenwe nakho okudala okubuhlungu.
Abanye besifazane bazizwa bengaphilile kahle phakathi nalolu vivinyo, sengathi abazi lutho. Kuyindlela yabo yokuzama 'ukuzihlukanisa' ngengqondo kusukela ngaleso sikhathi. Kwabanye, lesi sigameko esidala sibuya kubo njengefilimu. Lokhu sikubiza ngokuthi "ukubuyela emuva kwemicabango." Ngaleso sikhathi, bangakhala ngokuzumayo, bethuke ngenxa yokwesaba, noma babe nobudlova.
Ngenxa yalezi zenzakalo, abanye besifazane besaba ukuba nobudlelwano namadoda, ngisho nokushada. Ngisho noma bejabule emshadweni, bangase babe madolonzima noma besabe ukuya ocansini. Bazizwa benamahloni futhi benengekile ngemizimba yabo.
Ingabe ukukhulelwa kuyinselele enkulu kunazo zonke?
Cabanga ukuthi kungaba njani ngomuntu oke wabhekana nalokhu ukuba akhulelwe. Njengoba isisu sikhula futhi ama-hormone eshintsha, lezo zinkumbulo ezindala ziqala ukukukhathaza usuku nosuku. Ungase uzizwe sengathi awunawo amandla okulawula, ungase uzizwe ucindezelekile, futhi ungase uzizwe ungavikelekile. Abanye abantu abafuni abanye babone ukuthi bakhulelwe, ngakho bazama ukufihla ngokugqoka izingubo ezinkulu nezikhululekile.
Ngisho nobuhlobo bobulili nabayeni babo bungaba nzima kakhulu phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Umuzwa wokukhula komunye umuntu esibelethweni futhi enza ucansi ungaba nzima kubo. Yiqiniso, le mizwa ingase ivame ngezinye izikhathi kwabesifazane abakhulelwe abangakaze bahlukunyezwe. Kodwa kumuntu oke waba nobuhlungu obudlule, le mizwa inzima kakhulu ukuyithwala.
Uma sikhuluma iqiniso, lesi simo sibizwa ngokuthi i-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Lokhu kungaphinde kuvele ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa.
Lesi simo (PTSD) singabangela abanye besifazane ukuba babe nesicanucanu nokuhlanza ngokweqile ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa. Singabangela nokuthi isibeletho siqale ukufinyela amasonto noma izinyanga ngaphambi kosuku lokubeletha (ukufinyela kwangaphambi kwesikhathi).
Lokhu kwesaba akupheli ngemva kokubeletha. Omama abake babhekana nezimo ezinjalo bavame ukuvikela amadodakazi abo ngokweqile, futhi uma benendodana, bangamsoli ngokungadingekile yena kanye nabayeni babo.
| Imizwa Nezimpawu Ezingenzeka | Indlela Ongathola Ngayo Usizo |
|---|---|
| Ukwesaba okukhulu ukuhlolwa kwezokwelapha, ikakhulukazi ukuhlolwa kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane. | Tshela udokotela wakho ngezinto ohlangabezane nazo esikhathini esidlule kusenesikhathi ukuze akuqonde futhi akusize uzizwe ukhululekile. |
| Izikhumbuzo zezenzakalo zesikhathi esidlule kanye nokukhathazeka okukhulu. | Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlangana nomeluleki/uchwepheshe wezokwelapha othembekile bese nixoxa ngezokwelapha ngokwengqondo. |
| Umuzwa wokungathandwa yingane esesibelethweni, umuzwa wokuthi umzimba wakho awusiwo owayo. | Bhala imizwa yakho kudayari. Chaza lokhu kumyeni wakho bese uthola ukwesekwa nguye. |
| Ukwesaba kakhulu ubuhlungu bokubeletha, ukwesaba ukusunduza ngesikhathi sokubeletha. | Thulisa ingqondo yakho ngokuzindla nokuzivocavoca ngokuphefumula. Khuluma nodokotela wakho ngokwesaba kwakho ngaphambi kokubeletha. |
Uhambo lokuthola ukuphulukiswa nenduduzo
Lokhu kungase kuzwakale kusabisa kuwe. Kodwa izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ukukhulelwa akusona isikhathi sokuphila ngokwesaba lezi zinkumbulo ezibuhlungu. Kunezindlela eziningi zokwelapha lezi zilonda ezingokomzwelo nokuthola ukuthula kwengqondo.
Tshela udokotela wakho iqiniso: Lena yinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Tshela udokotela wakho wezifo zabesifazane ngesikhathi sakho esidlule. Lokhu kuzosiza ukuthi bakuqonde. Bazokuchazela ukuhlolwa ngaphambi kokuba ukwenze, bathole imvume yakho, futhi bakwenze ngendlela ekhululekile kuwe.
Funa ukwelulekwa: Ukukhuluma nomeluleki oqeqeshiwe kungasiza ekunciphiseni umthwalo wakho wemizwa. Kubaluleke kakhulu uma ungafinyelela lezi zinsizakalo phakathi nokukhulelwa kwakho .
Khuluma nomlingani wakho: Lokhu kungaba nzima. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukutshela umyeni wakho ngemizwa yakho kanye nokwesaba kwakho. Nakuba kungase kube nzima ngaye ukukhuluma ngalokhu ekuqaleni, uma esekuzwisisa, uzokusekela kakhulu. Lokhu kuzoqinisa ubuhlobo phakathi kwenu nobabili.
Amaqembu Okusekela: Ukukhuluma nabanye besifazane abaye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo kungakunikeza umuzwa wokuthi awuwedwa.
Ungakhohlwa, ukukhulelwa kungaba yithuba lokuphulukisa amanxeba esikhathi esidlule. Umzimba wakho odala impilo entsha uyisimangaliso. Njengoba ubhekana naleso simangaliso, uzoqala ukuziqhenya futhi uwuthande umzimba wakho.
Isibonelo, lapho ingane yakho encane ikubheka futhi imomotheka ngenkathi incelisa, futhi lapho ingane iyeka ukukhala lapho uyibamba, uzobona ukuthi umzimba wakho unamandla kangakanani nokuthi uthandwa kangakanani. Lowo muzwa uzokusiza ukuthi usule kancane kancane lezo zithunzi ezindala ezimnyama. Ungase ungakwazi ukukhohlwa ngokuphelele okwedlule, kodwa ungaphila nakho, unamandla futhi uyaziqhenya.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Uma uzizwa ucindezelekile ngokomzwelo ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa ngenxa yesigameko esibuhlungu esenzeke esikhathini esidlule, akulona iphutha lakho .
- Akuwena wedwa obhekene nalesi simo. Kunabesifazane abaningi emhlabeni abaye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo. Awuwedwa .
- Akukho namahloni okufuna usizo ngalokhu. Yisinyathelo esinamandla osithathayo.
- Kubalulekile ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho kanye nomlingani wakho ngemizwa yakho kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambilini. Bazokwazi ukukusiza.
- Ungalulama kulesi simo ngezinto ezifana nokwelulekwa, ukuzindla, kanye namaqembu okusekelana.
- Ungasebenzisa ukukhulelwa nokuba ngumama njengethuba eliyigugu lokuphulukisa amanxeba esikhathi esidlule futhi ubheke umzimba wakho ngokuziqhenya nangothando.
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